Improvisation (12 page)

Tina desperately looked around for something to use to take notes. She leaned forward and tapped one of the grad students on the shoulder. “Hey, can I borrow a pen?” she asked when the girl turned around. “And paper,” she added.

“Anything else you need?” the student asked in a suggestive voice as she handed Tina a pen and a piece of paper ripped from her notebook.

“This’ll do for now,” Tina said. She wanted to capture her ideas before they faded away, but old habits made her stop long enough to smile at her benefactor. “But I’ll let you know if anything else comes up.”

“Then you might need this.” The student wrote a phone number on the torn paper on Tina’s desk.

Jan cleared her throat, and Tina realized she had stopped lecturing and was watching the exchange. She sketched a wave of apology in Jan’s direction before she turned her focus to pouring the inspiration for her newborn business plan onto the page in front of her. She wrote in tiny print, not daring to irritate Jan further by asking for more paper, and by the time the session was over, she had filled both sides with notes.

She waited while the class filed out and Jan collected her supplies. “Great lecture,” she said when Jan finally came up the stairs toward her. “You’re a very stimulating speaker.”

“I didn’t think you noticed,” Jan said. Her carefully modulated professional voice had disappeared, and her tone held an edge of anger. “You seemed too busy flirting.”

“I needed a pen to take notes.”

“Because you’re planning to be a geometry teacher?”

“No. Because your method for creating lesson plans got me thinking about my business,” Tina said, her voice sharp, echoing in the empty room. She had figured Jan would be happy to hear she had inspired Tina with her lecture, but Tina had planned to share her news with Jan in a friendlier, more grateful way. Not by yelling it at her. Jan had been the one to spoil the mood, not Tina.

“Oh, I see.” Jan tapped at the paper full of notes. “And this phone number with a heart around it? I suppose you were doing some networking for your
business
?”

“Hey, she was flirting with me,” Tina said. She was standing too close to Jan and speaking too loudly. This wasn’t personal. Jan was simply angry because Tina had been talking during her class. She took a deep breath but didn’t move away. She felt the tension between them as almost a physical connection. An arousing connection. She lowered her voice. “But I didn’t discourage it. Sorry.”

Jan waved her hand. “Chat with all the pretty grad students you want, just don’t do it on my time. If you were in my class I would…” Her voice faltered, and Tina only had to take a small step to move into Jan’s personal space.

“You would…what? Have to discipline me?”

Jan laughed and pushed Tina gently in the chest, forcing her to take a step back and breaking the thread of electricity between them. “You can turn off the charm now. I’m the only one here.”

“
We’re
the only ones here,” Tina corrected, gesturing around the room. “And I deserve at least a spanking after talking in class.”

“Somehow, I doubt you’d consider it punishment,” Jan said. She cleared her throat and stepped away, her attention focused beyond Tina’s shoulder.

“Excuse me, but what was the name of the art book you recommended?” One of the grad students was standing by the door. Jan went over to talk to him, and Tina busied herself by folding her page of notes into a tiny square and putting it in her back pocket. She flirted and spoke in innuendo out of habit, but usually it was only a game. Every time her conversations with Jan carried a double meaning, she couldn’t seem to erase the resulting visuals from her thoughts. She was trying to decide whether she’d want to be teacher’s pet or class troublemaker—or both—when Jan interrupted her dangerous musings.

“What do you want to do now? There are restaurants and lots of shops in town. And I know a couple of places to get awesome cupcakes. We could try one of those.”

“Definitely both,” Tina decided. “I mean, both cupcake places. We should do a taste test.”

“Sounds good to me,” Jan said, leading the way out of the classroom.

“To me, too,” Tina said quietly. In fact, it sounded much too good.

*

Jan suggested they take their boxes of cupcakes to the marina. The rain had eased up, turning to a gentle mist, and she desperately needed to be outside in the fresh air. The anger she’d felt when she saw Tina chatting up the grad student had nothing to do with her rules against disruptive talking in class. She had felt a fiery possessiveness, unexpected and unacceptable. And when Tina gave her such a sexy smile and asked to be disciplined? All of Jan’s energy—her possessive anger and frustration—had turned immediately to lust. Inappropriately and completely. She clearly was attracted to Tina, a fact proven by repeated fantasies. Hell, she was beginning to accept her inevitable surrender if Tina ever made even a halfhearted attempt to seduce her. But any relationship between them would be fleeting, temporary. And, of course, Tina would run for the nearest escape route at any sign of affection beyond the physical. Leaving Jan heartbroken unless she could get control of her feelings.

Tina opened one of the boxes as they walked. Jan watched her take a huge bite of a red-velvet cupcake before she handed the other half to Jan and licked cream cheese off her fingers. Oh, to be a cupcake. She had a feeling Tina would approach sex the same way she devoured the treats, the same way she played her fiddle. Wholeheartedly and with gusto. Jan wanted to be devoured. To be played like a fine instrument. But Tina’s appetites, except for music, appeared to be short-lived. Maybe a dip in the frigid lake would help her cool off. Instead, Jan sat on one of the tall blue stools arranged around a snack bar, still boarded up for the season. She wiped the table with her sleeve so there was a dry place for the pastry boxes.

“You’re going to have wet jeans,” Tina said. She made a funny coughing sound and sat on the stool opposite Jan. “Well, I guess it doesn’t matter.”

“I’m sure they’ll dry off. Eventually,” Jan said. She laughed when Tina looked at her with a quizzical expression, as if she wasn’t quite sure what meaning to take from the words. Jan pushed one of the boxes toward her. “Eat,” she demanded.

“Gladly,” Tina said with a smile. “Where’s the peanut-butter one?”

“Here,” Jan handed it over and chose a raspberry-and-vanilla cupcake for herself. She moaned in delight as she bit into it, fending off Tina’s attempts to take it from her before she finally gave in and traded for the half-eaten peanut-butter and chocolate treat. Fun. She had to acknowledge how much fun she had with Tina. But only because she offered a change of pace, a short and pleasant break from harsh reality.

Jan forced herself to focus on the differences between them, and they weren’t hard to find, even in such a silly context. Out of habit, Jan tried to organize the picnic, coming up with an elaborate rating system for their taste test and methodically working through each flavor. Tina refused to play by her rules, though, and her favorite cupcake always seemed to be the one she was eating at the moment.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Jan said after they had finished off the last rich cupcake. “Didn’t we buy six so we’d have a couple to take home?”

Tina reached over and brushed her finger against the side of Jan’s mouth. Jan sat perfectly still, not even breathing, as Tina licked her finger. “Marshmallow,” Tina said. “That one was my favorite.”

“Let’s walk,” Jan suggested, gesturing at the U-shaped boardwalk. Without waiting for an answer, she got up and tossed their trash in a garbage can before she set off at a brisk pace. Damn. One gentle touch and she wanted to devour Tina like one of the sweets. Tina trotted to catch up to her, and Jan launched into a monologue about the lake, the world’s longest boardwalk, the natural history of the area, and a description of her favorite local hiking trails. She sounded like an overly enthusiastic tour guide, but she didn’t care. She had to keep her mind off sex, and off the nearly irresistible desire she’d had to suck Tina’s finger into her mouth.

The water was calm in the marina, painted with the reflections of boats and bright blue awnings. Jan, running out of words before they ran out of boardwalk, stared out toward the lake, where small waves lapped against the floating footpath. “There’s a grebe,” she said, barely making out the silhouette of the bird rocking gently on the waves.

“Where?” Tina asked, squinting in the direction Jan indicated.

Jan stepped behind her and put her arm over Tina’s shoulder, pointing so her finger was directly in Tina’s line of sight. She realized she had rested her free hand on Tina’s hip, and she had started to shift away when Tina grabbed her wrist.

“Don’t move,” Tina said. She eased back until her body came in contact with Jan’s. Jan couldn’t move, didn’t want to move. She inhaled the citrusy aroma of Tina’s hair, like satin against her cheek. The feel of her breasts pressed against Tina’s back, legs and hips joined. Tina slid her hand along Jan’s and intertwined their fingers.

Jan dropped the arm she had used to point out the bird and wrapped it around Tina’s middle. She felt Tina’s sigh, felt her lean into the hug. So quiet. Too quiet. After the morning full of sexual tension, Jan wouldn’t have been surprised to feel a desire to kiss Tina, rip her clothes off, make love to her right there on the boardwalk. She had been anticipating such a reaction and was fully prepared to suppress it. But this gentle intimacy, the almost-chaste touch, was too unexpected, too intense. The turmoil that had lately taken up residence in Jan’s stomach settled under Tina’s touch. And
settled
wasn’t a word she should be using in relation to Tina. She stepped away so suddenly Tina stumbled back a couple of steps before she righted herself.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Tina asked, moving toward Jan.

Jan gestured between them. “
This
is wrong.”

“Oh my God, we actually touched each other,” Tina said in a tone of mock horror. “I’m sure your reputation is tarnished beyond repair.”

Jan crossed her arms over her chest. “Don’t act like I’m some sort of prude. I just think we should avoid any physical contact.” Jan winced. Okay, she sounded like a prude.

“Lighten up,” Tina said, with a brief shrug. “So two friends hugged each other. What’s the big deal? Besides, you started it.”

“And you didn’t discourage it,” Jan said, echoing Tina’s earlier statement. “Must be nice to have women throwing themselves at you constantly.”

“You won’t hear me complain about it.”

“Well, I’ve never been one to follow the crowd, so why don’t you just move on to your next conquest,” Jan said before she turned and walked away.

Tina ran her hands through her hair in frustration as she watched Jan leave. Frustration, because Jan was obviously overreacting to a simple hug. And because her own body was betraying her by doing the exact same thing. Tina hadn’t felt anything more than the contours of Jan’s body pressed against hers and the weight of Jan’s arm where it draped around her waist. Nothing overtly sexual, but Tina was wet, her nipples were hard and aching, her breath was short. Hands still, layers of clothes between them, no kissing. She had no reason to feel so exposed and vulnerable.

Tina slowly started walking along the boardwalk after Jan. She had to ease the tension between them, but first she needed to get her self-control in place. She had never reacted to another woman’s touch that way. She had sex, she had orgasms, she took control, sometimes she bit. But she
never
melted against a woman like she had with Jan. Never sank into an embrace, without feeling a claustrophobic need for space. Even knowing how different she and Jan were didn’t help. Jan’s life was bound up in place, family, work. Her future was filled with obligations and plans and structure. Tina wanted freedom and variety. Or, at least, she usually wanted those things, when her hormones weren’t in overdrive. She either needed to have sex with Jan and get her out of her system or find another woman to do the job. The second choice definitely seemed safer.

Above all, she needed to lighten the mood. If she and Jan were angry and hurt, then it meant feelings were getting too serious. When they were teasing and laughing, the feelings remained shallow enough to handle.

She jogged a few steps and bumped into Jan playfully, draping a casual arm across her shoulder. “Hey, I want to thank you.”

Jan walked in silence for a few steps, her body stiff, as if determined not to take Tina’s bait. “For what?” she finally asked.

“For teaching me a great new pickup line. Hey baby, let me show you this cool bird,” she said in the same voice she had used when they were teasing Chloe. “I’ll bet you didn’t even see a…what did you call it?”

“A grebe, and I did so see one,” Jan said in a haughty voice, but Tina saw the corner of her mouth curve into one of her sexy half smiles.

“Ha. Never heard of it. You probably made it up. Anyway, I’m going to join an Audubon group so I can try it out.”

“Look,” Jan said suddenly, breaking away from Tina’s hold and moving to the edge of the boardwalk. Tina came up next to her and peered into the water.

“What now? I don’t see…Hey!” Tina shrieked as Jan grabbed her around the waist and pulled her close to the low rope railing.

“I saw a really cool fish. Let me show you,” Jan said, tugging Tina precariously close to the water.

“If you throw me in this lake, I’ll…” Tina couldn’t think of a sufficiently frightening end to her threat. She twisted in Jan’s arms and managed to tickle her until she let go. She and Jan backed away from each other, laughing and gasping for air.

“You can try that line at the aquarium,” Jan said. She feinted at Tina and laughed harder when Tina playfully batted her away.

Tina sighed in relief as they settled into step next to each other. The angry tension between them seemed to have faded, though Tina’s body still felt oversensitive to Jan’s nearness. Even the friction of her shirt and jeans as she moved was enough to keep her tight with desire. She wanted Jan’s touch. Wanted release. Just…
wanted
. But it was only a conditioned response to the closeness of a beautiful woman. A reflex, nothing more. They still had an hour before they were due to meet Chloe and Peter, so Tina suggested they go to an Irish specialty shop she had noticed near one of the cupcake bakeries.