Impossibly Tongue-Tied (26 page)

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Authors: Josie Brown

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“I'm glad you're so certain about that. Of course, I'll be calling up little Jake later on, to see what
he
has to say on the matter.”

Jake, testifying? Nina tried to keep the fear out of her eyes. From the cruel smile on Cross's face, she knew she was doing a lousy job at that.

“Now, when you told your husband you wanted to take on that profession, what was his reaction?”

Nina paused. “He…he wasn't too happy, I guess.”


You guess
. You mean you didn't know how disgusted he was at the suggestion? Or how it tore out his heart and broke it in two each and every time you got on the phone to pump up the egos—not to mention the…
libidos
…of these other men?”

Nina dropped her head. Tears fell into her lap. She would feel like a fool if she lied blithely, if she pretended that Nathan hadn't cared.

Because she'd known all along that he had hated it.

And after her last conversation with him, she knew exactly how much.

That's why she'd never mentioned any of her callers to him. She'd never told him about the men who had begged her to be their ultimate fantasy, or the little boys who called her with their parents' credit cards to hear her talk dirty to them, or the many guys who asked her to coo filth at them in her patented little girl voice.

But hey, it paid the rent, right? It allowed them to stay in Los Angeles, so he could keep acting, didn't it?

At that time, that was all that mattered to Nathan.

And now he was taking her son away from her because of it.

“Your honor, I can answer that.”

Upon hearing Nathan's voice Nina looked up. The courtroom froze. So did Howard, who was shocked that his client was opening his mouth—against his attorney's wishes, and for that matter, Katerina's, too.

“No sir, honestly it didn't bother me in the least. In fact, the only reason Nina did it in the first place was because I asked her to.”

Baxter Quinn's Nat 'n' Nina Custody Battle Blog 4/25 1:32
P.M.

Libidinous lawyers! Election year grandstanding! Public confessions!

Don'tcha just LOVE L.A. law?

If I'm moving too fast and furious for you, readers, you'll have to forgive me, but the atmosphere is SO hot and heavy in this courtroom that I may NEVER need another perm as long as I live! (Sigh! Too bad it doesn't have the same effect on highlights. Although, if things keep going the way they are, Kat McPherson's hair may turn gray overnight. More on that later…)

First things first: I never thought I would say this, but I tip my hat (that is, if I wore a hat—and my darlings, if that were the case, it would definitely be something a little less Kangol and a little more Borsalino) to that studly hunk, Nathan Harte, for standing up for his li'l woman, Nina (and, unfortunately for him, soon-to-be ex–li'l woman) while she was being persecuted by his very own attorney!

Nathan-Doll actually INSISTED on taking the stand so that he could confess—listen closely here, gang, 'cause it's hotter than Boston Legal during a ratings sweep (LOVE that Danny Crane!)—to coercing sweet, innocent Nina into taking the phone sex operator job that has put her in the hot seat in the first place!

“She really didn't want to do it,” he admitted. “But she was pregnant. So I asked if she'd consider that horrible job, just to make me happy. Otherwise we couldn't afford to stay in Los Angeles so that I could follow my dream to act. Believe me, she
cried about it, but she did it anyway, for me. She did make me promise, though, that she could quit once my career got off the ground. She would have, too—but then I met Kat.”

To shut him up, the noble lug's attorney asked for a recess. I'd give anything to be a fly on that wall when Kat gets ahold of him! She was hoping to avoid any (ahem!) unseemly bumps in her future by absconding with Nina's little guy. Hey, if she doesn't want to get preggers or adopt another kid, she could adopt one of those abused pups she's always moaning about, right?

My next posting of sizzling pixels will be up soon, so stay tuned…

“Lavinia, something's not right.” Nina's heart was beating too fast. She felt a bit woozy, as if she was going to faint.

“Sweetheart, should we call a doctor?” Sam put his arm around her to steady her. Suddenly he realized how difficult Howard's inquisition had been on her, not to mention the toll that everything that had happened in the past month—the discovery of Nathan's affair, the divorce filing, and now the custody battle—was taking on the woman he loved.

And then I go and put pressure on her about our future,
he thought wryly.
Her first priority is saving the life she's made with Jake. I'll just have to wait, with no strings attached, until she indicates that she's ready…

“No, I—I don't think I'll need a doctor.” Nina sat down and took a deep breath. “I just need to get that man off my back. Yuck! Now, that's an awful thought!” She shuddered.

“Right now, I have a feeling Howard is climbing up one side of Nathan, and Kat is crawling up the other, poor guy.” Sam smiled at the thought.

“Yeah, I can just imagine! I have to say, though, it was sweet of him to come to my rescue! I'll always be grateful to him for that.”

Already she's forgiven him for putting her through all this, Sam thought sadly.

A grimace pierced Nina's face. “I guess they'll make him retract everything he just said, won't they?”

Lavinia laughed. “Look, when we go back in, I'll get my chance to cross-examine Nathan. Believe me, if he changes his story between now and then, I'll pull out the heavy guns.” Lavinia rummaged in her briefcase and pulled out the DVD of Nathan's audition.

“What's that?” asked Nina.

Lavinia popped it into her laptop so that Nina could witness Kat in action with her husband—and, after his initial shock, his enthusiastic response.

Nina blinked away her tears. Seeing her reaction, Lavinia murmured, “Nina, I'm sorry you had to see this, but I think we need to be prepared to present this as evidence if we're going to have any chance of getting the judge on your side. Believe me, no woman in that courtroom will side with Kat after we play this. And Jessup isn't going to want to side with her, either.”

“I don't know, Lavinia. I don't see how Nathan and I slinging mud at each other is helping Jake. For all we know, the judge may decide that neither of us is fit to have custody and put Jake in a foster home.” Just saying that out loud brought terror to Nina's eyes. “Oh my God, Lavinia, could he do that?”

“No, he won't. Because pulling Jake away from both of you will mean more court time, and that guy wants this over just as
fast as the rest of us.” Sam's soothing summation was seconded by the look on Lavinia's face. “The only one who seems to want this to drag out is that sadistic creep, Cross. Speaking of which, I've got to check in with my office. You know, I'm representing Howard's wife in their divorce, too, and she's been calling every hour for updates on how this hearing is going. She's worried that he's going to really play dirty if I beat him up too badly today. Unfortunately for you, Nina, the way things are going now I don't think Mrs. Cross has anything to worry about. And considering the amount of alimony she's asking for, that should be a relief to her.” That said, Lavinia hurried out the door.

Sam put his hand on Nina's shoulder. “The ball game's not over yet. Listen, kiddo, if Cross puts you back on the stand, try to do whatever you can to neutralize your fear of him.” He snapped his fingers. “Hey, I know: Try to think of him as a kid around Jake's age, or something.” He laughed. “Better yet, just think of him as one of your johns.”

That put a smile on her face. “Yeah, you're right. That always makes it easy.” She thought about Bertrand and King Kong and Herbie and the sadistic Potty Mouth—

Potty Mouth.

Nina bolted upright. Omigod, she thought, Cross is that gross cretin, Potty Mouth!

“Wait, Sam, wait! You won't believe this but—I think that Howard Cross is actually
one of my johns
!”

This stopped Sam cold. “Wow! If you're right—listen, Nina, do you just think that he is, or do you
know
?”

She nodded her head with certainty. “It's him, all right. I nicknamed him Potty Mouth because he made me recite every
name I knew for penis; you know, skin flute, trouser trout, pork sword…disgusting, isn't it? Then, of course, I'd have to go through all those horrid nicknames for a woman's—well, you get the picture. In fact, he came up with a sweet name for me, too. Starts with a C. I'm sure you can use your imagination.” She shivered. “Is it fair that Potty Mouth can represent Nathan?”

“No. He's certainly got a conflict of interest. Then again, if we let Lavinia know that now, she'll have to call for a new hearing, and you—and Jake—will be put through this all over again.”

“I can't have that! I'd just—we'll just run away—”

“Don't say that, Nina! If you did, and they caught you, then you would lose Jake for good. Let me think for a moment…I've got it!”

“What? What should we do?”

“We
are doing nothing. I, on the other hand, have got to take a meeting. Just leave it to me. And whatever you do, don't mention what you know to anyone—particularly not to Lavinia.”

He leaned down and gave her a kiss; not just any kiss, but a kiss that had her believing that he was going to save her little world for her.

Then he sprinted out. His destination: the second floor men's room in the Los Angeles Superior Courthouse.

 

Everyone was pissed at Nathan, and boy, didn't he just know it.

Kat especially. “What are you, crazy or something?” she shrieked. “Taking the fall for that little bitch—how could you do that to me?”

“I didn't do anything to
you
, Kat,” he said in the calmest voice he could muster. “I did something
for
Nina. I don't like Howard making her out to be an unfit mom to the whole world, because she isn't! She's a
great
mom.”

He glared over at Howard, who smirked and shook his head. “You're a fucking pinhead, kid, do you know that? Next time, stay on script. Or didn't they teach you anything in that acting class of yours?”

Nathan leaped in his direction, only to be held back by Riley. “Whoa, cowboy, he's on our side, remember?” Riley snapped his fingers in front of Nathan's eyes. “Look, he was only doing his job. You want the kid, right? Well, you just came off as if you care more about yourself. That's pretty much blown your chances. Right, Howard?”

“Not necessarily.” Everyone looked at Fiona in disbelief. “Well, to tell you the truth,
I
certainly didn't believe him, so maybe no one else did, either. Better yet, I'm guessing that every woman in the courtroom fell in love with Nathan right then and there, for trying to take the rap for Nina. I sure as heck did.”

“She's right,” Howard growled tersely. “Pinhead here came off looking like a saint. Either that was sheer genius on his part, or it's proof that he should go for a refund on those acting classes.”

Riley tensed for Nathan to break loose for another shot at Howard, but Nathan just shrugged off the taunt. Heck, the way he'd just been treated at ShoWest, he was beginning to suspect Howard was right.

It was Fiona's idea that he go to the annual Las Vegas theater owner/filmmaker/movie star schmoozfest with Hugo, in
order to screen some of the footage of
Forever and Again
for theater owners interested in upcoming indie releases. Besides, Nathan thought, putting a little distance between himself and Kat might not be a bad thing after all. She was so self-centered that she was getting on his nerves!

But the press conference proved to be a big mistake. Instead of tossing Nathan softballs about the movie, the reporters laid into him: Was he a serious actor, or a pretty boy stud? Was his relationship merely a stunt, a way for him to bask in the glow of someone who had already made it in Hollywood? Why would he be so careless to allow his career—which had barely begun—flame out in a tabloid fury? In other words, was he pulling a Kutcher?

“All those assholes cared about is my relationship with you!” Nathan groused to Kat when he'd gotten back to L.A. “They didn't ask one question regarding
Forever and Again
, or my upcoming projects…Jeez, not that I have any. Riley's been lousy at locking anything down for me, other than that crappy
Scream
knockoff!”

“Well, what did you expect, lover?
I'm
the best thing that ever happened to you. Why, everyone knows that.” Kat looked up from her lighted mirror, where she had been scrutinizing the effects of her latest Botox injection. “Hey, now, don't knock Riley. He's doing okay…for me at least. He swears that I'm a shoo-in for Scorsese's new film…Damn, but I hate ensembles! Although, if Leo's involved…Hey, if nothing comes up in a month or two, maybe Marty can fit you in somewhere. It's a cast of thousands. There's got to be some little part…” Having tracked down a tiny new wrinkle below her left eye, Kat missed Nathan's shudder.

Jeez
, he thought,
if I don't get out from under her—literally
and
figuratively—no one will ever know what I'm capable of doing…

As soon as this whole custody thing blows over,
he decided,
I'm dumping this high-priced skank! Hell, I might as well, since she doesn't do it for me anymore, anyway.

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