Impossible Things (32 page)

‘I don’t hate you!’

‘Could have fooled me.’ She wiped her eyes and glared at him. He looked as if he’d been slapped.

‘All right, so I was angry. And I was hurt. And I … I hated you a little bit. I reacted really badly, and I’m sorry. That’s why I’m here. To say sorry.’

Ishtaer regarded him suspiciously.

‘Verak told me a few home truths. I was just thinking about me, and how hurt I was, and I took it out on you, and I know now it was much harder for you than it was for me, so I’m sorry.’

He said the last bit in a rush, as if it was a speech he’d practised and wanted to get out.

‘Did it hurt?’ she said. ‘Apologising?’

He nodded. ‘Yes.’

‘Good. Just so you know, getting impaled on a pike also hurts.’

He flinched, and reached out as if to touch her where the pike had hit.

‘But not quite as much as it hurts when you have to make a really, really terrible decision and sacrifice the one thing you’d do anything to protect, and the man you love doesn’t even wait around to listen to your explanation.’

Ishtaer realised she had her arms wrapped around herself. Kael stood mere inches away, and she’d have given anything to press herself against him, to feel his arms around her. To get back that comfort and strength he’d given her last time he’d held her.

‘I’m sorry. Ishtaer, I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do or say to make it right.’

He touched her shoulder, drew her to him when she didn’t resist, and for a moment he held her and it was wonderful.

What could be the harm in just being held, in resting her head against his shoulder, in breathing his scent and pretending everything was all right?

She made herself straighten away. She couldn’t pretend everything was fine between them.

‘I see her, you know. Every night I see her.’

He frowned. ‘Samara?’

Ishtaer controlled her shudder. ‘No.’ She glanced at the pool where the boys had stripped off most of their clothes and were throwing sticks for Brutus. ‘Their sister.’

‘Their—’ She watched the comprehension dawn. ‘Our daughter.’

She closed her eyes, feeling tears start again. She’d never cried until she fell in love with Kael.

‘Oh gods. Ishtaer …’ He reached out for her but she stepped back. If she let herself be comforted by him again she wouldn’t be able to stop.

‘Show me.’ His chin came up. ‘Show me what you see. The way you did at the Ball that time.’

‘I don’t even know how I did that.’

‘Please.’

She chewed her lip, then nodded and placed her hand on his face. It felt horribly good to be touching him. And she opened up the memory she’d been trying to run from, and showed him—

—a
little girl, with bright blue eyes and shining dark hair, her smile lighting up the room, laughing with her brothers as she waved a wooden sword and her father looked on in adoration—

—and when she opened her eyes again Kael’s tears were running over her fingers.

He took her hand, and kissed it. And he smiled.

‘You think it’s funny?’ she said, snatching her hand back in disgust.

‘No. I think it’s wonderful. Ishtaer, what if she’s not the baby that—that—I mean, what if she’s a different child? One we’ve yet to have?’

She stared, incredulous. ‘Are you mad?’

‘No,’ he said, still smiling. ‘No, I’m happy. I don’t think that was a might-have-been vision. I think that’s the future. I think you and I could have that beautiful daughter. I think the boys could have that wonderful sister.’

‘But,’ she began, trying to get her head around the idea. ‘I don’t even know—What are you suggesting? Is this like when you tried to get me to marry you without actually telling me?’

He winced. ‘I really have ballsed this up, haven’t I? No. Look. On the ship, that last day, I said I was going to ask you to marry me again and you said you’d say yes.’

‘Yes, but that was before—’

‘Before something you knew was going to happen, happened. Did you mean it? That if I, uh, hadn’t reacted the way I did, that you’d still want to marry me?’

She sat down on the bench with a thump, unable to cope with such an about-face. To her horror, Kael got down on his knees before her.

‘Marry me. I love you. I won’t ever cage you. Look, I brought the boys here, I took them to see my mother, I wrote their names down in the Book after mine. I won’t lock you away. I never could.’

‘And this daughter? Will you lock her away in your castle? Make her another possession?’

He closed his eyes for a second, and whatever he saw there made him smile. ‘I will give my life to protect her, and you. And I won’t cage her either. I told you before, Ishtaer, I could never possess you.’

She couldn’t speak, too shocked and too hopeful. Hopeful?

Yes, because wasn’t this what she wanted?

Her gaze strayed to Durran and Garik, who’d got bored with the pool and were trying to climb the orange blossom tree. He’d brought them here, away from the safety of his secret stronghold, and he’d told the world they were his.

He wouldn’t lock her away. He wouldn’t hurt her. He loved her. He actually loved her, and she loved him, and now, all of a sudden, there wasn’t any reason to push him away.

I’m not afraid any more.

He stood up, and she opened her mouth to tell him not to go, but he was only walking as far as the trunk Liberius had brought in. He opened it, and withdrew a large package wrapped in cloth.

‘I brought this for you. So you always know who you are, and you’re always protected.’

Self-consciously, he held it out, and Ishtaer unwrapped it. The cloth was silk, brightly coloured and embroidered, and it held a breastplate which had been enamelled with a shield of red, blue and silver.

She looked up, astonished.

‘I didn’t know the Emperor had granted you supporters,’ he said, gesturing to the animals flanking the shield on her silk corset, ‘until I arrived in Ilanium. So I had these modified to match.’

He withdrew a pair of vambraces, one painted with a silver wolf, the other a red and blue phoenix.

‘Good choices,’ he added with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

‘But—’ She looked down at the breastplate again. ‘But this isn’t painted on, it’s engraved. It must have taken months …’

‘Ever since we visited the smith in Utgangen, yes. You couldn’t wear just any old armour. You’re Ishtaer Vapendam.’

He took the silk cloth from her and shook it out. It bore her full coat of arms, the shield that incorporated her mother and father’s designs, her own three Gifts, and the wolf and phoenix she’d chosen to flank it.

He held out the fluttering silk, but her gaze strayed to the ceremonial doublet he wore with its own shield, black and red, flanked by its crowned red tiger and black gryphon, and her lips curved in a smile.
Out from the darkness, a huge red cat loomed
.

Her hand rested on her belly. The sword might have been metaphorical, but the red cat had been there all the time, if she’d only seen it.

‘You like it?’ he asked hopefully.

‘I love it,’ she answered, smiling wider. ‘Will it be displayed beside yours?’

‘What do you mean? When they hang the banners for the Imperial Ball? I assume yours will go ahead of everyone else’s, since you’re Thrice-Marked—’

‘No. I mean on the wall in your bedchamber.’

She watched the implication sink in, watched the smile come over his face like the sun coming out.

‘Ask me to marry you,’ she said.

He dropped instantly to one knee and took her hand in his. ‘Ishtaer, my darling girl, I love you. Will you marry me?’

She smiled back. ‘I will.’

He whooped in delight and scooped her up into his arms, the banner tangling around them both. Ishtaer didn’t care. He kissed her, that wonderful deep kiss, and she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him right back.

Brutus barked, Garik yelled ‘Papa!’ and Durran made noises of disgust.

‘Get used to it,’ Kael informed them, setting Ishtaer on her feet and holding her tightly. ‘You’ll be seeing a lot of it.’

‘Yuck,’ said Durran.

‘Does this mean you’re coming home with us?’ Garik asked, eyes wide and hopeful.

‘Yes,’ Ishtaer said. ‘I’m coming home.’

Kate’s a prolific writer of romantic and paranormal fiction. She is a self-confessed fan of Terry Pratchett, whose fantasy fiction has inspired her to write her own books. Kate worked in an airport and a laboratory before escaping to write fiction full time. She is a member of the Romantic Novelists Association and has previously published short stories in the UK and romantic mysteries in the US. She’s a previous winner of the WisRWA’s Silver Quill and Passionate Ink’s Passionate Plume award.

Impossible Things
is Kate’s third novel published with Choc Lit. Her second novel
Run Rabbit Run
was published in 2012 and was the first of Kate’s
Sophie Green Mysteries
stories to be published in the UK.
The UnTied Kingdom
was Kate’s UK debut and was short listed for the 2012 Romantic Contemporary Novel of the year award.

For more information on Kate visit:

http://www.etaknosnhoj.blogspot.co.uk/

https://twitter.com/k8johnsonauthor

https://www.facebook.com/catmarsters

From Kate Johnson

The UnTied Kingdom

Shortlisted for the 2012 RoNA Contemporary Romantic Novel Category Award

The portal to an alternate world was the start of all her troubles – or was it?

When Eve Carpenter lands with a splash in the Thames, it’s not the London or England she’s used to. No one has a telephone or knows what a computer is. England’s a third-world country and Princess Di is still alive. But worst of all, everyone thinks Eve’s a spy.

Including Major Harker who has his own problems. His sworn enemy is looking for a promotion. The General wants him to undertake some ridiculous mission to capture a computer, which Harker vaguely envisions running wild somewhere in Yorkshire. Turns out the best person to help him is Eve.

She claims to be a popstar. Harker doesn’t know what a popstar is, although he suspects it’s a fancy foreign word for ‘spy’. Eve knows all about computers, and electricity. Eve is dangerous. There’s every possibility she’s mad.

And Harker is falling in love with her.

Visit
www.choc-lit.com
for more details including the first two chapters and reviews.

Find out more and purchase in the kindle store (
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-UnTied-Kingdom-ebook/dp/B004URV5SA
)

Run Rabbit Run

Kate Johnson

Sophie’s in trouble. Must be Tuesday.

Sophie Green’s an ex-spy, or trying to be. You wouldn’t believe the trouble she’s in. An MI5 officer has been shot with her gun, her fingerprints all over his office. And no, she didn’t kill him.

But she has gone on the run.

Now Sophie’s desperately seeking whoever’s trying to frame and kill her. She’s being forced to work with the least trustworthy man in Europe, MI5 is following her every move, and she’s had to leave the tall, blond, god of a man she loves behind.

Luke Sharpe works for MI6. Or did, until his girlfriend became a murder suspect.

Doing nothing wasn’t an option, so he started investigating. Who cares if it means jeopardising his career? Sophie’s everything he used to say he never wanted. Young, irresponsible, bright and mad. Now she’s just everything – and she has to live.

She will live, won’t she?

Visit
www.choc-lit.com
for more details including the first two chapters and reviews.

Find out more and purchase in the kindle store (
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rabbit-Sophie-Green-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B00794L7AC
)