Immortal Darkness (Phantom Diaries #3) (12 page)

Instead of releasing my digit as he should have, he took a firm hold of my hand in his and proceeded to lick each finger, one at a time.  “You’ve no need for sugar.  You're sweet enough as it is.”

I smiled, half hoping the playfulness had returned, that his comment was meant to lighten the situation.  His smile showed his own ambiguity and I could see his struggle. The playful and respectful owner of the Opera House, eager to make his house guest feel at home, eager to give his star the full respect she deserves battled with the man; the simple man who wanted the release of being with the woman he loved and desired.

“I’ve tried, Annette. Truly I have.”  He leaned in to kiss me, his lips soft yet urgent. “These past weeks, living with you, having you at my side, in my home, it’s been torture. You must know that. You must realize how hard it is… to keep my distance, to play the friendly host.” 

His lips covered mine, nibbling my lower lip and leaving my legs weak.  When his tongue slid in and pressed against mine, I leaned heavily into him.  Thoughts of Kristine and Rupert swirled around me.

Despite her great love for Eric, Kristine had played with Rupert.  Her love had been divided, split between two men; each so different from one another; each offering her something she needed.

I, too, felt a great need for these two men.  Why else did I have such a hard time denying either one of them? 

Aaron’s hands travelled over my hips to my thighs.  With a great thrust, he grabbed me and set me on the counter.  The very notion he could be so forceful, so determined, heightened my arousal, my thrill at his touch.

My finger raked through his hair, pulling him into my clutches while my legs wrapped around his hips, hugging him close. He growled and snarled into my hair as his lips moved to my neck and trailed down to the opening of my shirt.

The bowl of cream toppled over and fell to the floor.

It shattered and Aaron backed away suddenly.  “Annette,” he said, his voice so hoarse and strained.  “I want to know that you want me just as much as I want you.  I must know.”

I thought of Kristine’s words, how she expressed her hunger and desire for Rupert, her pleasure in his arms.  This heightened my desire for Aaron, as though her fall from grace gave me permission to be naughty.

With unbridled passion, I tore Aaron’s shirt off, sending buttons flying across the kitchen.  My lips heated their way over his shoulder while my fingers went to work on the fastening of his pants.

“I knew there was a wild beast in there,” Aaron whispered.

His words, no doubt meant to excite, had the effect of a cold shower.  I pushed him away.  How strange he would use the very words Kristine had used to describe Eric.

“What’s wrong?”

Jumping off the counter, I straightened my shirt and pulled my hair off my face.  “I’m sorry.  I let myself get carried away.  I shouldn’t have let you… I’m really sorry.  Aaron, I’m afraid of all I’ve been reading.”

He shook the lust off, fastened his pants and pulled his shirt back on.  “Reading?  Reading what?”

“Kristine’s journals.”

I saw the understanding slowly make its way to his eyes.  “Oh, yeah.  Right.  What about them?”

“I think between reading her personal writings and playing her on stage… I don’t know.  I feel an influence.  I feel her.  It’s as though it’s all made me more wanton and uninhibited, more…”

“More carefree?  More independent?  More worldly?”

“It’s not who I am and I’m not really comfortable with all that, at least not this way; not through her.”

Aaron gazed at the floor a moment and pressed his lips together.  “Yeah, okay I get it.  I understand how you can be a bit confused by it all.”  He inhaled deeply and seemed to regain his full composure. “I’m the one who should apologize. I know you’ve had a lot on your mind lately and… well, I need to keep my distance. I won’t let it happen again.”

“We both got carried away.”

“Look, I think you should put the journal away for a while; give it a break.”

“No,” I said a little too fervently.  “I want to understand it all.”  I almost let slip how I wanted to know more about Eric, about his part in Kristine’s life and about his immortality.

Chap
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10

L
ater that night I lay in bed reading Kristine’s journal.  My need to know about Eric’s immortality drove me to read well into the night.  Page after page, Kristine described her days of leisure, her evenings at the opera and her nights with Rupert.

She loved him, more than anything, she truly loved him and had a growing desire to build a life with him.  It was all nice and it was pleasing to see she had the ability to love like any other woman, but it was all putting me to sleep.

Until…

“Aaron,” I shouted as I shot out of bed and ran to his room. Foregoing the precursory knock, I barged in.  “Aaron.”

He set down some musical notes he was looking over and gave me his full attention. “My God, Annette. What’s the matter with you? What happened?”

“Aaron, I’ve been reading Kristine’s journal.”

“Yeah, I know.  I’m the one who gave them to you, remember?”

I knew his teasing grin and playful comment were meant to calm me, but they rattled me all the more.  I shook my head.  “I wasn’t just reading it for the fun of it, to discover who Kristine really was or what her connection to me is.  I’ve been trying to find out how Eric came to be immortal.”

His brow cocked, though I couldn’t understand if it was from disappointment or his desire to hide something from me.

“Aaron, I just read a passage.  Kristine was madly in love with Rupert.  She wanted to build a life with him.  She even mentioned the possibility of having his children.  But when Eric found out about her affair with Rupert, he wanted to end things with her.   Despite her great love for Rupert, she admits to being unable to let go of Eric.”

“Is that what you came running into my bedroom to tell me? That she sincerely loved Rupert?”

“No, it’s how she was unable to say no to Eric.  He had a hold on her that even she couldn’t explain.  But Eric didn’t want to forgive her.  He didn’t want to take her back after her betrayal.”

“Okay.”

I hesitated.  It would sound so absurd if I said it aloud, but I had to.  I had to share it with someone and Aaron was the only person I could talk to about this.  “She said she would be willing to give up her soul to be with him.”

I didn’t want to admit to Aaron just how unsure I now was of Eric. I hated the thought I could doubt him.

“I need to know what really happened back then between Kristine, Eric and Rupert. Would you tell me?”

Aaron came over and placed his arms around me then. He kissed the top of my head as he said, “Oh Annette, I wished I knew. If I did, perhaps Kristine would leave all of us alone once and for all.”

Chap
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11

T
he moment I entered my apartment I knew the problem with the heating hadn’t been fixed. I wasn’t really surprised. The super had said he’d checked every aspect of the heating system and could find no problem.  Every other apartment in the building was doing fine.

However, living at Aaron’s was no longer an option.  After our heated and passionate exchange in the kitchen, I knew I couldn’t live there anymore.  There was too much temptation to take our relationship fast and passionate. He tried to hide it, tried to be cool and aloof with me, but it was obvious he has strong feelings for me and hoped to eventually convince me to marry him.

I set my purse down on the floor and kept my coat and gloves on as I made my way to my bedroom to pick up a few more articles of clothing.  I’d left a log of it at Aaron’s when I’d left to stay at a little motel just off Manhattan.

The ride in was inconvenient and the low, low rates were still murder on my budget, but at least I had my own space, tiny and dingy as it was.  Having a bit of clothes everywhere, however, was frustrating.  I had some at Aaron’s, most was still in my apartment and what I had on my back when I’d left Aaron’s was now at the motel.  I even had a few things lying around in my dressing room at the Opera House.

No wonder I feel lost, I thought.

“Where have you been staying?”

Though I instantly recognized Eric’s voice, I screamed in terror at his unexpected presence.  I turned to see him standing by the living room window.  “Eric, what are you doing here?  You scared me half to death.”  The moment the words were out, I realized that wasn’t at all what I really wanted to say.  My heart ached for him, my body longed for him and the past days without him had been more painful than I wanted to admit.

“I was hoping to see you, to talk to you.  You haven’t been here for a few nights.”

“Yeah,” I said as I wondered how long he’d been in my apartment.  “This place isn’t being very cooperative, as you can see.  It’s unlivable and I’ve had to make temporary arrangements.”

He looked at me expectantly, waiting for further explanation.  I wanted to ask why he hadn’t simply passed by the Opera House to see me, but didn’t want to imply how badly I would have liked to see him.  I also suspected he already knew about my arrangement with Aaron. 

“I found a cheap motel and came by to pick up a few more things.  I…”  I stammered, not really knowing what to say.

“Has Aaron made it impossible to stay with him?”

I heard the sarcasm, even contempt in his voice.

“It’s not what you think, Eric.  Aaron offered me a place to stay when he realized I had a problem here with the heating.  He can’t afford to allow me to get sick and…”

“Yeah, right. I’m sure that’s all it is.  The great Aaron Aragon is protecting his investment.”

I cocked my head to the side, hurt by his tone and angered by his insinuation.  “Aaron is just trying to help.”

“Then why do you now find yourself running off to some cheap motel?”

He knew.  Just by the look in his eyes, the intensity of his accusing gaze.  He knew what had happened with Aaron.

“Fine,” I said with a touch of defensiveness.  “If you must know, Aaron fully accepted and understood my reasons for not marrying him.  He told me he was perfectly fine remaining friends with me and the thought pleased me very much.  He is a good man and he is my boss and I don’t see any reason not to be friends.”

“But…” he prompted.

“Things just didn’t work out like I expected.”

“He still wants you.”

“It appears so.”

“And you still refuse to marry him.”

“I told you, Eric, I’m too young.  Regardless of who it is, Chace, Aaron or you, I’m not ready yet.”

“I’m sorry.  I don’t mean to be a part of the problem. I can only imagine how confusing this must be for you.  So many demands, for your time, your attention and your affection.”

I dropped my gaze to the potted plant my mother had given me as a house warming gift.  It was a tough and hardy plant meant to survive a negligent or forgetful owner.  However, it wasn’t tough enough to deal with the freezing cold.  Staring at the pitiful leaves, I realized I’d barely had a moment to myself since first arriving to New York.