Imagine (14 page)

XIX

imagine
doubt

What? I look at her in disbelief. No-one in the tent wants to make eye contact with me. “I don’t think that I understand exactly what you’re trying to tell me Mom.”
              “Trish, you know that I love you, I am your mother, even if I’m not your biological mother.” She looks at me, tears glistening in her eyes.

             
I feel like my heart has just been ripped out of my chest. The person that I have known to be my Mom for all these years simply isn’t. The hope that I had been clinging to by a thread is fading, was that lady back at Haven telling me the truth? She has lied to me my entire life, how could she? 

             
Tears are streaming uncontrollably down my face as I get up and sprint out of the tent. I feel betrayed. How can someone that said they loved me have lied to me my entire life? Our relationship has been nothing but a lie. I think back on all of the happy times I had with my Mom and I feel lost, I don’t even know who I am anymore.

             
I have been running for a while now and my lungs are straining for air. I stop and breathe hard to try and satisfy their need for oxygen. As I am hunched over with my elbows on my dirty knees I hear footsteps approaching me. I turn around and yell “How could you?” but it’s Riley that appears into view, not my mother.

             
“Trish, I know that you’re hurt and feel betrayed” she says in a voice barely above a whisper as she approaches me very slowly, like I am a skittish dear about to run for the hills.

             
“I feel like my whole life has been a lie Riley, everything that I thought I knew about myself isn’t true, I just feel so lost.” I yell. My breathing is starting to calm now. “You knew, didn’t you?”

It’s not a question
, I am just stating the facts that are now staring me in the face, and I know that she knew. The minutes before we went into the tent replaying in my mind, the encouraging words and supportive gestures. She was looking out for me.

             
“I did, your mother came to us about 4 months ago. She was trying to find a safe place for you to be hidden while your real mother came up with a plan. You really should finish talking to her; you might want to hear the rest of the story. To find out just why she made the decisions that she did, when she did. Nothing is ever what it seems, Trish. Nothing is black or white. Right or wrong.”

             
“I don’t know Riley; I don’t think you understand what I am dealing with here. How would you feel if your Mom had done nothing but lie to you your entire life? It’s not that easy to forgive and forget.”

             
“I am not saying you should forgive and forget, Trish. But I think you owe it to yourself to find out why she did what she did. Why someone that clearly loves you feels that she had to keep all of this secret from you. I do know how you feel, in a way. Not too long ago I was part of Haven, people that I cared about had lied to me my whole life. What was even worse was that they instilled beliefs in me, beliefs that made me who I am today. I have done some pretty terrible things in the name of those very beliefs. Now, knowing what I do, I don’t think I would make the same decisions again. So yes, I do know how you feel.”

             
I take a deep breath. “You’re right Riley; I owe it to myself to hear the truth. Thank you for coming to talk to me.”

             
“No problem Trish, anytime” Riley gives me a warm friendly smile, letting me know that she is genuine, like mother like daughter.

             
I start to walk back in the direction of the camp. After a 40 minute slow paced walk I am back in front of the largest tent. Riley is standing outside; she gently pushes me towards the opening, indicating that she will not be joining us this time. I duck through the opening.  Inside is just my Mom, no-one else. She is sitting cross-legged on a pile of pillows with her face in her hands, through her fingers I can see lines of mascara running down her face. She has been crying too.

             
“Mom?” I say as I slowly approach her. She jumps up at the sound of my voice and wraps me very tightly in her arms. “Mom? Are you trying to kill me? You’re squeezing me to death.”

             
“I’m sorry Trish, I’m just so happy that you’re back. I thought that I’d lost you forever, that look on your face when you ran out of here. I didn’t think I’d ever get chance to explain.”

             
“To be honest, I don’t know what I would have done if Riley hadn’t caught up with me.”

             
“I didn’t mean to mislead you, I’m sorry. I really do think of you as my daughter, Trish. I could not love you any more, you are my whole world. It’s time for me to tell you my part in all this. No more secrets.”

             
“You’re right I really do want to know, no more secrets.” I say as Mom and I sink into the cushions facing each other and after a moment and a deep breath she begins.

             
“I was born in Haven, I grew up there. When I turned thirteen one of The Furies needed a helper, and I was chosen. I left my home and travelled all over the world with her. Not only was Allie stunningly beautiful but she also had so much charisma, she only had to smile or say a single word and everyone ran to do her bidding. She had everything … but the one thing she yearned for the most, to have a daughter. I guess I was a sort of replacement, but I was not really
her
daughter. When I came of age I decided that I wanted to make the ultimate sacrifice for her, I gave her a piece of my essence, to enable her to finally have her daughter. I had never seen anyone as happy as her when she found out that she had become pregnant with twin baby girls, all because of my sacrifice. I was over-joyed to have been able to give her that special gift.”

             
Mom looks at me with a slight smile on her face and then continues. “What I did not realize was that she had a wicked plan right from the very beginning. Allie, Allecto, the Unceasing in Anger, had a mission. She had never let go of what the gods had assigned her, humans still needed to be punished and she was going to just that. You see, even though Allecto is very powerful, it is written that the world can only be brought to an end by three women of the same blood.”

             
She checks “Do you follow so far, Trish?”

             
“I think so, but I don’t think I am going to like what’s coming next…” 

             
She continued “There are also a few conditions that have to be just right too for her to able to do this. An eclipse has to happen; this is supposedly when Gaia radiates the most power that can then be harnessed. One night I overheard her telling of her evil plan, the two red headed baby girls inside her were going to enable her to end this world and start a better one.”

             
“Wow, Mom!”

             
“I was paralyzed with fear just thinking about what I had done, I knew that I would only be able to take care of one of the two little girls on my own, so when Allie gave birth I assisted. Once the umbilical cord was cut I took off with the younger of the two girls.”

             
She takes a deep, deep breath and says “That Trish, that baby was you.”

             
I just stare at her. All the things that she just shared are running around in my head. My biological mother wants to end the world. I have a twin Sister.

             
I also realize the extent of what my Mom did; she saved me in order to stop the destruction of the planet, annoying some pretty powerful people in the process.

             
“I ran off with you to the only person that I knew would be able to help me, my Uncle Maximus, Tisiphone’s husband, the Artemisian. He helped me all he could; he kept me informed of Allie’s movements to make sure that we were safe. We had hoped that a human upbringing would mean that your powers would never manifest themselves and she would never be able to find you.”

             
I just shake my head.

             
“So you’re saying that my real mother, who by the way is a Greek goddess, wants to end the world? With my help. Seriously?”

             
“She does, she believes it is the right thing to do. She thinks this world is filled with too much pain and suffering. That people are nothing but cruel and self-serving. She wants to wash away the impure and start afresh. Again.”

             
“So, I guess the question now is how do we stop her?” Now that I have learned the truth, there is a sense of pride at being able to call this woman my Mom - she is an amazing.

             
“
You
! Trish, only
you
can stop her. You have to train hard, learn how to use your powers for good and protect your energy from her.”

             
“And just how am I going to do that Mom? I can’t control any of my powers!”

             
She takes a deep breath.

             
“You will have a teacher; Maximus has set everything in place. If Maximus picked her then she will be more than capable of helping. Tomorrow morning you will meet her in the clearing to the right of the meadow.”

             
“Is Kia going to learn too?” It would be really nice to learn with someone I know.

             
“No Trish, I’m sorry but Kia wont’ be able to help. She and Sam will be given the choice of either staying here or being placed somewhere else. Sadly, they will never get the chance to return to the family that they have thought of as their own for all these years. It’s far too dangerous.”

             
I feel terrible for them; I can’t even fathom what it would feel like to know that you have to stay away from your family because your mere presence may bring them harm.

             
I can see the wheels turning in my Mom’s head, but she seems to struggle getting her words out.

             
“Just spit it out Mom! Is there something else that you have not told me?”

             
“Actually Trish…While we are here, is there something that you would like to share with me?”

             
“Like what?” I am confused I just want her to say what’s bothering her.  I hate when people beat around the bush.

             
“Anything going on you know with you and a certain young Guardian that you want to talk about? Do we need to have
the
talk?”

             
“No Mom, I am not having this conversation with you now.” I get to my feet and leave the tent to the sound of my mother laughing behind me.

             
Keagan is leaning against the side of the tent and by the smirk on his face I guess that he must have overheard the tail end of our conversation just now. He is wearing regular clothes again; I have to say he looks really good. A tight black shirt that shows off his athletic build and a pair of low riding jeans. I definitely like this look for him. I try to ignore him, I head off to find Riley, but to my dismay Keagan decides to fall into step with me.

             
“So how are you holding up Trish? You doing okay?” he asks from behind me. Is he really interested in my welfare? I just ignore him and keep on walking, picking up my pace a little. Keagan doesn’t get the hint and instead he stops me still by putting a hand on my waist and turning me towards him.

             
Oh wow he has really nice eyes.
Stop it Trish! Don’t look into his eyes.
I try to pull away from his grasp but he holds firm. My breathing quickens, why can he still affect me like this?

             
“Trish, you know I care about you. I have done you wrong in so many ways, but you have to understand …” I pull away hard this time, anger making me strong.

             
“I don’t have to understand anything Keagan, I thought we were friends. I may have followed you out of danger, but what you need to understand is that the only reason I did is because I completely trust your Mom. So, don’t you think for one second that I have forgotten or that I understand why you did what
you
did. You really hurt me, emotionally
and
physically.”

             
Riley arrives at the perfect moment. “Hey Keagan, I have been looking for you, brother. I really want to catch up with you.” She stops in her tracks when she notices the tension between us, lingering like a bad smell in the air. “Is this a bad time?” I jump in before Keagan, who has a hurt look on his face, can come up with a reply.

             
“I think that is a really good idea, Keagan and I were about to head our separate ways anyway. I was wondering, is there somewhere where I can take a hot, soapy bath, Riley? I’m filthy!”