Image of You (5 page)

Matt shot me a disapproving look. "You mean you've never been someone's fan?" He asked as I tried to get my laughter under control.

I shook my head and swallowed back my smile. "No, not really. I've found idolising people just leads to them letting you down."

Matt brushed his fingers against my cheek once more. "What happened to make you so cynical?"

"Cynical?" I shrugged away from his touch and moved around the counter, bending to pick up the broken pieces of cup. "I'm cynical? When did you become such a wide eyed optimist? I certainly never saw it in you when we were school."

Matt had bent down beside me. The moment I mentioned high school he stiffened. His shoulders hunching a little more and he refused to meet my gaze.

"That's not what I meant. I'm just wondering why you think everyone is going to let you down all the time."

"Because they usually do..."

"Has Maggie? Or even Brody?"

I shrugged and grabbed the final chunk of mug before straightening up and dumping it in the bin.

"No not as such... But they're different." I was getting frustrated. I had no idea what my own feelings were anymore where this man was concerned and it frightened the hell out of me. Just being near him fried my senses. Dulled them to the point of me wanting him to press me back against the counter again, and kiss me like he had before I'd pushed him away.

"Well then, not everyone will let you down..."

I shrugged and turned away from him. But he was there again before I had the chance to completely turn my back on him. His hands on my hips as he spun me to face him. I could feel his hot breath fanning down across my cheeks as he towered over me. But held me softly and he didn't push me against the counter.

"Why are you so afraid of me? What is it you think I'm going to do?"

I shook my head and a small tear crept down my cheek. I lifted my hand to brush it away, but Matt beat me to it. His fingers catching the tear and holding it on the tip of his finger.

"I'm not afraid of you... I'm..."

"Afraid of what you might feel? Of what might happen if you let me in?"

I nodded and it was all Matt needed. He kissed me again. But this time it was practically chaste. Just a soft press of his lips on mine, before he pulled away.

"You don't need to be afraid of me... Or of what you feel..."

"I don't want to be..."

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. It stood on end and I couldn't help but giggle a little. He smiled at me and brushed my cheek once more. But I was already ahead of him. I stepped back, just out of his reach.

"It's getting late. If you want you can sleep on the couch."

The smile faded slowly from his face. "Yeah, I don't fancy searching for a hotel to sleep in tonight... Not when it's this late."

I moved to the hall and pulled some spare blankets and pillows from the tiny storage closet at the end. Dragging them back into the living room I proceeded to set them up. Matt's hand on mine halted my progress.

"I'll do it. You head to bed."

Gulping I nodded and practically ran from the room. Closing my bedroom door I leaned back against it and let out a shaky breath. Just simply being near him was far too much temptation. He was like a living breathing sin, and I wanted him. It frightened the hell out of me. But I wanted him. Wanted him like no one else.

Changing into a t-shirt and shorts I brushed my teeth before climbing into my bed. As I lay there in the dark staring up at the ceiling I contemplated going out to him. If I went out there I knew what would come. The kiss in the kitchen had very nearly ended in us both naked and writhing in ecstasy. He was a player. He used women, drew them in and then dumped them. It was something he was renowned for. Why would being with me be any different?

Drifting off into a frustrated sleep, I tossed and turned. My mind conjuring up memories I had thought were buried.

Chapter Six

"Katherine, this work is truly excellent... I'm really impressed with how far you've come. You've really taken my comments onboard and it shows."

"Thank you, sir." I shuffled nervously in the chair. Extra credit was important, the more I could gather the better my chances at scoring the scholarship. But it still didn't change the fact that Mr Craigsdale made me so uncomfortable.

"Please, Katherine, or can I call you Kat? School is over, call me Jacob."

"I... Ok, sir, I mean, Jacob."

The sound of his name on my tongue sounded awkward and wrong. I didn't want to call him Jacob. I just wanted him to grade my project as he'd promised so I could leave.

"That's so much better now isn't it? Kat."

The way he said made my name made me shiver. I jumped up from my chair, my haste to get away knocking a cup of coffee he had perched on top of a pile of papers. I watched as the liquid spilled down across the desk.

"I'm so sorry..." I grabbed some tissues and hurried back, my hands shaking as I mopped up the spill.

"Clumsy, clumsy, Kat. What if I had something important on the desk? Something irreplaceable?" His hands brushed against my hair as he pressed up against me, squashing me between the desk and his body.

I shrugged out of his grip, turning and backing up until my back hit the chalkboard.

"I didn't mean to. I'm really sorry, it was an accident."

"Always sorry aren't you? " He advanced slowly.

"Mr Craigsdale, I think I should just go home. My parents will be wondering where I am..."

"We both know that's a lie, Katherine. Lying is such an ugly past time for such an intelligent young woman."

I tried to move past him. To just grab my bag and leave, but his hand pressed on my arm, swinging me back and slamming me into the chalkboard. White dust rained down on me, covering my hair and making my nose itch.

"You leave when I say it's time." He whispered the words before falling upon me. His hands probing and pressing at my body. I tried to scream, but his hand found my mouth. He clamped his hand across my lips, effectively silencing me and cutting off my air.

My body went into panic as he pushed us both to the floor. I fought back, my hands slapping and scratching as he tried to subdue me. The feel of his hands slipping up underneath my skirt sent me into overdrive. My arms scrabbled across the floor trying to find something anything to use as a weapon. He pressed against me, a sigh of contentment leaving his lips as he closed his eyes.

Chapter Seven

Warm hands gripped me tightly, holding me down. I screamed and fought, bucking and heaving, desperate to escape. I had to escape. I had to.

"Kat, wake up, it's a dream, it's just a dream. You're safe. wake-up."

Matt's voice slowly drifted down to me, drawing me from the horror of the nightmare. He was kneeling on the edge of the bed, his strong arms holding me tight. I noticed the fresh nail marks across his naked chest as he moved and the moonlight fell over him.

"It's a dream. You're safe, sssh." He brushed his hands across my hair, pushing it back from my face.

I pulled him further into the bed, drawing his body closer to mine as I drank in the scent of his skin. I needed something to chase the taste of the dream from my head. It was trying to linger and the harder I clung to Matt the less hold it held over me.

I buried my face against his stomach and the tears flowed hot and heavy. I'd never had someone tell me I was safe before. The dream was a common occurrence. Something I had most nights. But tonight was different. Tonight was the first night someone  had held me and told me the monsters in my dreams weren't real.

He held me there for a few moments, neither of us spoke. My heart rate slowed and finally my tears dried and still he held me. When he shifted in the bed, it was to slide down nearer to me. His face was mere inches from mine and I could feel the fan of his breath across my cheeks.

"Matt, I need you..." The words hung between us. I watched as several emotions seemed to war within him. They crossed his face and he held his breath, as though waiting for me to change my mind. To take back what I had just said. But I didn't. I waited for him.

The moment he gave in I felt it, like all the air had been sucked from the room. His mouth met mine, softly at first, just a tentative press of his lips against mine. But I wanted more. I wanted to taste what I had glimpsed in the kitchen with him. I wanted the passion. I needed it. Something that would perhaps chase the nightmares from me once and for all. Could a passion burn strong enough to burn out the bad dreams? I didn't know but I was desperate to find out.

I climbed over him, straddling his hips with my body as I deepened the kiss. My hands running across the smooth skin of his chest. He bucked his hips just enough for me to feel the hard length of him. It pressed against me and my breath caught in my throat.

His hands ran up and under my t-shirt pulling it off and over my head, he discarded it on the floor. He rolled the tip of his tongue over my nipple, the sensitive bud instantly jumping to attention. I wondered was it from years of playing the guitar. His fingers stroking over the strings as he practised.

A muffled squeal escaped me as he flipped me over in the bed. My shorts disappeared as he unbuckled his jeans and dumped them with the rest of the clothes on the floor. Naked he poised himself above me. He gazed down at me until my cheeks burned red and I was sure he could see it in the dark. I automatically tried to cover myself up with my hands, but Matt was there before me. His hands pinning each wrist above my head, trapping me beneath him. And yet for the first time in my life I didn't feel trapped. I felt alive and utterly free.

He continued to gaze down at me. Not moving just watching as though at any second, I would change my mind and push him away. But I didn't. I couldn't. Not now. I wanted him and I didn't care about the consequences.

"Are you sure you want this?" His voice sounded strained, as though holding himself back was physically causing him pain.

"Yes..." My whispered acquiescence was all he needed to hear.

With one fluid movement he thrust into me, buried his body to the hilt inside in mine. I sucked in a deep breath, my entire body tensing around his. My fingers dug into his shoulders as he started to move within me. Withdrawing until just the tip of him remained before plunging back inside me. It was like a dance. A dance that I had worried I wouldn't know the steps to, but with Matt it was simple.

I clung to him, sweat leaving a fine sheen on my body. I gasped for breath as each stroke of him within me stole the air from my lungs. The pleasure built within me, like a sweet torture that I never wanted to end. And yet I knew at the end of that tunnel that I was rapidly disappearing into I would find my haven of peace. A moment of pure and utter bliss.

We kissed, his tongue plundering my mouth as I gave myself over to the sensations of his love making. With one hand he gripped my hip, pulling my ass off the bed and driving himself into me so seep I was sure he would simply break me apart.

But my body seemed to understand what he was doing. Seemed to easily accept every move of his and each one only made me pant a little harder, moan a little louder.

I writhed beneath him, my head flung back, eyes closed as Matt bore into me. Forcing me with his body to taste everything he had to offer. Every ounce of pleasure he could wring from me.

The sensations swept through me and I clung to him as though he were the only life raft. Afraid that if I let him go I would float away and never be seen again.

The pleasure crashed over me and I gave myself up to it completely. Matt's cry of release was mingled with my own as my body convulsed with the ripples of our love making. I dug my nails into his body, drawing blood but not caring. All I knew was in that moment I needed to hold onto something. Someone. And that someone was Matt.

He collapsed on top of me. Our breathing laboured and the sweat cooling on my skin. I kissed him again. The taste of salt on his lips.

He held me, cradled in his arms and when I started to shake he drew the covers up over us both.

"What do you dream about?" His voice was soft. As though just before sleep.

"I've never told anyone that..."

"But you could tell me..."

Silence fell around us like a blanket. And there in the dark for the first time in my life I felt truly safe. I felt as though I could tell him the truth and I would still be safe. He could protect me.

"I dream of the day all my dreams shattered."

Matt shifted in the bed and glanced down at me. I couldn't see the look in his eyes but I could feel it. And it urged me to go on.

"It was the day you left high school... You broke it off with Angela, I was there in the hall and she was pulling one of her usual stunts. I was going to hand in my project to..." My mouth went dry, as though I couldn't even bear to say his name. That if I did he would come back and get me. Silence me.

"Mr Craigsdale..." Matt said the name for me and I shuddered. He held me tighter and fell silent.

"Yeah, him... Only he wasn't interested in the project..."