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“People will still die, innocent people...war isn’t the answer,” I said, holding back another flood of tears. “You said you wouldn’t betray them - but leaving them is a betrayal,” I said, taking in the reality of war, that in an instant the wall around Delen could be charged and lives would be lost.

“I can’t betray my brother. He has a purpose greater than mine; he and Libby need us to clear this path for them,” Drake said with a sigh.

“Preston wouldn’t want you to die. He wouldn’t want anyone to die; his purpose is to show us how beautiful life is supposed to be. It’s too precious; no one is dying tonight,” I said, knowing that Landen would do as he promised and heal them if it was in his power.

“Love, I am afraid - without a doubt - that one life will be lost within the hour.”

“He’s going to heal you,” I said, fighting against my anger.

“Landen can use any gift he wants on me - but it won’t matter; to be healed, to want to live...that comes from the soul. If I don’t accept it, he’ll be wasting energy that should be used to protect you.” He tilted his head to catch my eyes. “When this is over, you take my mother to Chara and never leave there again...we’ll fight this demon in the next life.”

“No. I won’t rest until all the damage it’s done is pure again. Hiding, giving up is
not
the answer.”

“Willow, I lived with this demon for nineteen years. I’ve looked into his eyes and seen the cold greed that lies there. I don’t trust anyone but myself to protect you from it. Let me pay this price. Live out your life in the sunshine of Chara. We’ll meet again – and with you at my side, he will fall. I have no doubt,” Drake said, stepping back to let me know that he’d said his peace.

“I don’t believe you. You can’t be OK with leaving this world,” I said, trying to catch his gaze.

“If you could feel me, you’d know that I’m more than sure. Ask Landen; he has no trouble reading me,” Drake said, looking to the doorway that led to the study.

I reached for his hand and wrapped my hands around his, feeling his mesmerizing touch consume me. “I can feel you...can you feel me?” I whispered. He nodded. As tears pooled in my eyes, I let the grief I was feeling flow through me. He raised his other hand to my face, and I looked into his eyes and saw a sympathy that had never surfaced before. I watched as his eyes moved slowly across my face.

“We don’t have a choice my love; our fate is sealed,” he whispered.

As I closed my eyes and the tears streamed down my face, I shook my head from side to side in defiance. He leaned forward and gently kissed my forehead. “Another life, another time,” he whispered as his fingers wiped away my tears.

I felt the air chill, then the presence that I feared was all around me. Drake slowly turned, and the presence diminished before he had the need to protect me. He then reached his arm back and guided me in the direction of the study. I ran my hands across my face to dry my tears, but they kept flowing. I felt Drake’s hand on my back as he urged me to walk faster.

Landen was waiting beside the door. He opened his arms, and I let myself fall into his embrace. As I cried silently, he rocked us back and forth and let his head rest on mine. I knew my fears were shaking his confidence, but I couldn’t control the way I felt; too much was at risk.

“
I can’t do this...what if it’s you it enters...I won’t...I can’t,”
I thought.

“
I don’t want you to see me, to see Drake...see the darkness – that’s what you’re killing...have faith in me,”
Landen thought, putting his hands on either side of my face.

I closed my eyes and felt the burn as more tears streamed silently down my face. I then nodded and took a deep breath. As he pulled me to his chest and held me as close as he could, I saw his Aura grow so bright that it was near blinding.

Drake walked to Marc, who pulled his shoulders back, prepared to defend himself if need be. “To prevent war,” he said to Marc in a solemn tone, “you’ll stand in the shadows of my balcony and speak to the people. Don’t give them any reason to doubt that you’re me; that will buy all of you enough time to find another solution.” He then looked to Alamos and said, “My last request is that you help them in any manner they need. Don’t let this city fall – or I’ll haunt you myself.” Finally, he looked in my direction and said in a tender tone, “Does that ease your fears, Love?”

I shook my head from side to side and buried my face in Landen’s chest. I felt the sympathy and anxiety of the room. Landen pulled my chin up so I’d look at him, then he leaned in and kissed me.

“
I love you; be strong for me,”
he thought.

“
I love you.”

He smiled slightly, then stepped back from me. Perodine was at my side, and she slowly slid the knife into my hand - but I refused to look at it. I stared at her, begging for a way out of this, but she just looked away as her tears began to fall.

“It could come at any moment,” August said quietly.

I caught his sympathetic stare, then looked to Marc and Dane. They felt helpless; grief had already consumed them. Alamos walked to Perodine’s side to console her. Landen and Drake were locked in a stare; I could feel Landen’s frustration and assumed Drake’s intent was still death.

“Are you ready to dance with the devil?” Drake asked Landen. Landen nodded. “Don’t you dare look at her,” Drake said firmly.

I could see the breath leaving my body. The room had turned cold - painfully cold - and the walls and windows began to tremble. All the light left; it was so dark, I felt blind.

I focused on the emotions around me, and the only one I could feel was Landen. The only sound was my beating heart as it raced in my chest. Cracks of light began to emerge in the floor, then they slowly stretched out as far as I could see; it looked as if I were standing on a star-lit sky.

In the glow in front of me, I could see Landen and Drake; the others had vanished. I looked down in my trembling hand and assured myself that the knife was there. I had to tell myself to hold it tighter; my fear was so strong, I lost the emotion of Landen, and trying to find it just scared me more.

I heard a low growl surround us. I stepped in Landen’s direction, but he held his hands out, telling me to stay. His eyes looked away; I knew he was trying to protect me, but I felt so alone.

The space between Drake and Landen turned black, and I felt the presence that had haunted us before. Suddenly, a light blue glow appeared around Drake and Landen; it gave me hope that Drake was at least attempting to protect himself. The dark shadow began to turn the color of ash, and the color brought forth the image of man with a perfectly sculpted body, a beautiful, flawless face, and eyes as dark as coal. Breathtaking wings stretched from its back, extending well over Landen and Drake; it was a vivid, evil, angel.

As it stared intently at me, it reached its arms out to touch Landen and Drake, its hands reaching through the blue glow as if it didn’t exist. Their faces showed the agony that they were feeling; they were frozen, unable to move. I gripped the knife in my hand and stared back into its coal eyes, fighting back a flood of tears. Darkness came from its chest and moved inside of Drake - but before I could step forward, it crossed into Landen. The evil angel grinned deceitfully at me, and I felt my body go numb when I realized that if I struck Drake and was wrong, it would have no choice but to enter Landen – and we’d all die that night.

Out of the silence, I heard beautiful laughter. As the laughter grew louder, the dark eyes I was staring into scowled. I knew the laughs; they belonged to Libby and Preston. Suddenly, an undeniable peace came to me, and the air grew warmer. In front of Landen, an image of Libby appeared, and Preston appeared before Drake. They smiled innocently up at me, unshaken by my appearance of terror. Libby looked beside me, and I slowly turned my head and saw an image of myself. I was smiling, and in my eyes I could see an adventurous sprit that I’d never seen before. The image reached for my shoulder, and memories that didn’t belong to me rushed through my mind: I felt a youth that I’d never felt before, full of curiosity and invincibility...I saw myself growing up in the Palace with Landen...our life once we reached Chara...the determination to redeem Esterious was more powerful than I’d felt in this lifetime.

The image gently released me, and I looked back at Libby. She and Preston were looking to my other side, and my eyes followed - only to find another image of myself. These eyes, they still had spirit - but they’d aged. This image reached for my shoulder, and as she touched me a flash of another life came to me: I was standing in a beautiful garden, playing with my children. My sister, Samilya, rushed to me with her children at her side, and she cried as she told me that something had taken over Oba. The memories flashed to a dining room: I was setting the food on the table when soldiers rushed in and carried me and Samilya’s children back to Oba. I knew I loved Oba, but I still grieved; Oba’s heirs would live with him, and my children would be in the care of Samilya; I told myself I was protecting them, that if the darkness returned we’d all die. I spent the rest of my life trying to find a way to defeat the darkness that took me from my children.

The image of myself released my shoulder and looked remorsefully at me. I knew then that
I
was Jayda’s descendant - not Landen and Drake; their descendants never knew that the children weren’t moved from their place of birth. The images of me moved before me, blocking the view of the children - and the pain the evil angel was giving to Landen and Drake. In my voice, I heard them say, “The darkness will consume the blood of Jayda and subdue their power.”

I was the blood of Jayda that would consume me; it would take over my heart. The angel knew that neither Landen nor Drake would be able to end my life. In an instant, understanding came across my face, and the images of me faded away - taking Preston and Libby with them. The darkness that was moving between Landen and Drake at the evil angel’s request was growing larger and hesitating longer. I looked in its coal-dark eyes and smiled, and my hand was steady as I raised the knife. As I turned the blade to my chest, my heartbeat slowed; I then took a deep breath and slowly, gently slid the blade into my chest. I felt the ground tremble beneath my feet and heard a horrified scream as I fell to my knees and gradually closed my eyes.

Chapter Twelve

I think everyone has heard the stories of what happens when you die: the white light, the tunnel. We’re told it’s painless, blissful. It must be different for everyone, though, because I didn’t see a light or a tunnel; I felt pain.

As my last breath moved through me, my body seemed to scream out in protest. I felt cold, disoriented, and everything I’d ever done or said moved before me. I saw and felt the laughter of childhood, the fear of my nightmares, the joy of family and friends. I felt the impatience that’s always surrounded me.

The moment I first saw Landen in the flesh came to me, and I relived every second we’d shared together, feeling my emotions, his emotions, as if for the first time. The times I was alone with Drake came to me, and the fear, anger, and sorrow I felt for him over the last few months rushed through my soul. My whole life as Willow Haywood was relived in just a few seconds.

Then my perspective changed. I saw my life through the eyes of the ones around me. I was standing in judgment, and I was the judge. As the images began with me being a little girl, I didn’t fear them because I’ve always thought that I knew exactly how I affected the people around me. I could feel their emotions - what more could there be? I was wrong; we impact those around us on a level deeper than emotions. The emotions are just the end result - but before the emotions come forth, the soul, mind, and body take in all that they’re given of the world around them; the three don’t have to agree for an emotion to come to life. Oftentimes, the mind and body are at war, and the soul plays the role of peacemaker.

I could see how in my childhood my distance to the ones around me made me seem cold. I could feel how nervous Dane and Olivia were when they tried to become my friend; through their eyes, I saw them deciding not to be afraid of me, to take a chance. I felt the worry my parents have always shielded from me; my father, it seems, had mastered concealing his fear for my life years ago...I saw my distance cut him in two...I wanted to go back – to be a little girl again. I wanted to smile, I wanted to tell my parents that I loved them and that their decisions never brought me harm; their love was all I needed to get to Landen.

The first moment I saw Libby in my mother’s arms came rushing to me. I’d forgotten the first emotion I’d felt: jealousy. It wasn’t of Libby - it was of my mother; I felt that she was now in care of what was once mine. My soul cried; I was angry that I’d forgotten that. If I’d chosen to remember, I would have discovered long ago that she once belonged to me and Landen - and I would I have saved myself from the worry of not knowing if Landen was real, as well as from the fear of not finding him.

Landen...my perfect Landen...I saw him as infant, as a child, as the man he is today. I felt a perfect love; it didn’t matter what I said or did - his love was unconditional, complete. I felt the joy he had each time we dreamed together before we met. I felt his anxiety as he searched for the beacon that would lead him to me, as well as the overwhelming relief he felt when he found me. Though he was bothered by the secrets that were kept from the both of us and the uncertainty of our past and future, he didn’t care; all he knew was that with me he was complete, invincible. The emotion we felt when we joined as one couldn’t compare to how felt from this perspective. I knew then that it didn’t matter if I had a body on earth or not; we would always be one, for all of eternity.