I'm Watching You (46 page)

Thursday, February 26,

10:20 p.m.

Debra’s parents had begged forgiveness. It was the one thing he hadn’t expected. Abe rested his arms across the top of his steering wheel and stared at the bright lights of the Navy Pier’s Ferris wheel. It was the one place where he could still see Debra smiling. They’d come here on that first blind date, set up by Sean and Ruth. He’d brought her here the night he proposed, bribing the Ferris wheel attendant to stop the wheel when their car was on the very top so that he could ask her to marry him with all Chicago at their feet. She’d brought him here the night she told him he’d be a father, bribing the attendant in the exact same way. So he came here tonight to think, to remember his wife as the happy woman she’d been. To try and find in his heart the forgiveness her parents had asked for.

He’d lost all track of time when a knock on his window nearly scared him to death.

Sean stood there scowling. „What the hell are you doing here? You had us worried sick.“

Abe glanced at his watch in amazement. „I didn’t realize I’d been here so long.“

„Where’s your damn phone? We’ve been calling you for an hour and a half.“

Abe fished it out of his pocket and frowned. „No battery bars.“ It was the first time he’d been so careless. He plugged it into his cigarette lighter.

„Kristen’s in the car.“

His gaze snapped to Sean’s car where Kristen sat staring at her hands. „Why?“

„She’s been climbing the walls, afraid you’d been hurt by Conti’s men.“

Suddenly so weary, Abe dropped his head back against the seat „I didn’t think.“

„Well, tell it to her yourself. I got to get back to my own woman.“

A minute later Sean roared away and Kristen climbed up into the cab. She immediately dropped her eyes and he felt the pang of guilt. He’d been thoughtless.

„I’m sorry, Kristen. I didn’t think you’d be worried.“

„Well, I was, but it’s all right.“ Her chin was practically digging into her chest.

„Can you look at me?“

She complied, twisting her neck at an odd angle and looking up from the corner of her eye, but still not meeting his gaze. She looked… strange.

„What’s wrong?“

She closed her eyes, drew a strangled breath. „Can you please take me home?“

„Not until you tell me what this is all about. Open your eyes.“

She shrank back in the seat, her eyes clenched shut „Abe, please.“

Suddenly alarmed, he pulled the SUV out of the parking place. „What’s happened? Dammit, Kristen, if you’re trying to get back at me for scaring you, it’s working.“

„I’m not. Just drive.“

He started driving. „Is it Vincent?“

„No, he’s unchanged. Owen called to tell me when I was in the car with Sean.“

„Has that Timothy come back to see Vincent?“

„I didn’t ask. I was too worried about you.“ He saw her open one eye, look in the passenger-side mirror, then shut her eyes again.

He looked in the rearview mirror and saw nothing but the blazing lights of the Navy Pier’s Ferris wheel. „When we get to your house, you’ll tell me?“

She nodded once. „Yes.“

Thursday, February 26,

10:45 P.M.

He was relieved when Reagan’s SUV pulled into her driveway. He could see between the houses from his position on the next block and watched as Reagan got out and crossed around to her side of the vehicle. Reagan was a gentleman. He approved.

He was glad they were home safely. He couldn’t have forgiven himself if anything had happened to anyone else she cared about. He hadn’t meant it to spiral out of control this way. He’d meant her to be comforted, knowing he was eliminating evil from the world, but instead her life had been turned upside down. She’d been threatened in her own home. He would have to find a way to make sure everyone knew she was uninvolved, that she knew nothing. He would write her no more letters.

He frowned. She should have been out of the car a long time ago. It was cold tonight. She’d get sick. Reagan needed to get her into the house, but he just stood there. Something was wrong. Finally, she climbed down and Reagan put his arm around her and walked her into the house through the kitchen door. She appeared unhurt. But he needed to be certain.

Thursday, February 26,

10:45 p.m.

Kristen stopped short at the sight of her kitchen, visions of Ferris wheels temporarily dismissed. „It’s clean. All the plaster dust is gone.“ So was the far wall. She and Abe hadn’t finished ripping it down the night before, but now it was totally gone. As was the refrigerator, the sink, and the linoleum. The only thing remaining was her table, which was covered with magazines opened to layouts of beautiful kitchens. „Annie’s magazines,“ she said, then understood. „Aidan and Annie were here. Did you know they were going to do this?“

Abe was grinning. „Where do you think they got the key?“

„Where did
you
get the key?“

„Mia stole it from your purse and I had a copy made. Are you surprised?“

She sank down into a chair and covered her mouth with her hand. Tears sprang to her eyes as Abe knelt beside her on one knee and pulled her into his arms.

„They wanted to do something for you. It was Aidan’s idea.“

„It’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me. Oh, Abe.“

His hands rubbed her back, great soothing circles. „Are you ready to talk now?“

She wiped her eyes on his coat. „I think so.“

He pulled away, lifted her chin, kissed her mouth. Then took the chair next to her and unbuttoned his coat. „I’m ready whenever you are.“

It was time, she knew. Time to tell the story she’d told only once before. This time she’d be believed. Still… She’d harbored the secret for so long. Too long. It was time to let it go.

„I was twenty,“ she began with a sigh. „A sophomore at the University of Kansas. I’d spent a year in Italy and I was behind, so I was taking some summer classes so I could catch up. He was a guy in my statistics class. I was an art major, so he helped me with my homework. I didn’t have a head for statistics.“ She smiled sadly. „And then I became one.“

Abe’s face was calm, but his blue eyes were turbulent. „You knew him, then.“

„I thought I did. We’d gone out a few times, burger joints, pizza places. He’d have a few beers, I’d abstain. He’d tease me about being a prude, I’d just smile. Then one night we went to the county fair. It was a summer night. He wanted to walk, so we left the group we’d come with and walked out past the livestock barns. He kissed me, not for the first time. But then he wanted to…“ She faltered, her throat closing.

„He wanted sex,“ Abe said flatly.

She nodded, relieved he’d said it for her. „Which was the first time.“

„The first time he’d wanted to or the first time for you?“

„Both.“

His eyes closed, his throat working behind the knotted tie. „You were a virgin.“

„Probably the only one in my class. My father forbade drinking, dancing, rock and roll, card-playing, but sex was the epitome of sin. So I was waiting, but not for this guy.“

„But he didn’t take no for an answer.“

„No. I fought and scratched, but he was too big. He overpowered me like I was nothing. Told me I wanted it, that I’d been asking for it. I told him I’d never… but he laughed. Said I’d been to Italy, I was a woman of the world. He pushed me to the ground and covered my mouth…“ She lifted her eyes to the ceiling, unable to look at him as she said the words. „He raped me. I just kept thinking it would be over soon, it had to be over soon. I looked up and saw the Ferris wheel in the sky and watched it spin, counted the cars. And finally it was over.“ She dropped her eyes back to him and saw his hands fisted on the table. She covered one of his fists with her hand, realizing for all his insistence on hearing the truth, it might be harder for him to hear than for her to tell. „He left me there, in the dirt behind the barns.“

„Did you tell anyone?“

„Eventually.“

„The police?“ he asked tightly.

„No.“ She sighed. „We tell these girls to come forward, to tell the authorities, but they’re scared. I was scared. I was afraid nobody would believe me. He told me he’d say it was consensual. We’d been dating for two months. Nobody would have doubted him. He wasn’t a jock. He was a normal regular guy who always went to class and turned his homework in on time. He was no womanizer. That was the reason I trusted him in the first place.“

„So who did you tell?“

„My parents.“

„And?“

She could see her father’s face as if it were yesterday, scarlet and quivering in rage. She could still hear the sound of his palm whizzing through the air, just seconds before he slapped her to the ground. Where she lay, trembling and nauseous.
And pregnant
.

„He didn’t believe me.“

„What?“ Abe lurched to his feet on the outraged cry. „He didn’t believe you?“

„No. He accused me of being like my sister. Sinful and wild.“

She watched as Abe paced the floor. „Is that why you left home?“ he asked.

„I didn’t leave home. He threw me out.“
Terrified, penniless, and pregnant
.

Abe froze, then turned, his face a mask of disbelief. „He threw you out?“

„Yes.“

„And your mother?“ he demanded. „What did she do?“

„Nothing. She just looked at me. Maybe if Kara had still been alive, she might have had the strength to stand up to him, but by then, she just went through the motions. Anyway, it didn’t matter. By mat time the boy had told all his friends what had happened. They all thought I was easy.“
And I knew by fall term I’d be showing
. „So at the end of the summer term, I left KU. One of my sister’s old friends had moved to Chicago, so I came here to live with her. I transferred to University of Chicago and finished my degree.“

Abe’s hands were shaking and he shoved them in his pockets. „In art?“

She shook her head. „No, I couldn’t paint after that. I majored in business and decided to go to law school.“
And I had a baby. And I gave her away
. But when she opened her mouth to finish the story, all she could see was the photo of Abe and Debra, pregnant with the child that was stolen from them.
And I gave mine away
.

Abe sat down heavily and buried his face in his hands. „God.“

„When I saw that Ferris wheel tonight…“ She shuddered. „I can’t look at Ferris wheels.“

He said nothing, just kept his head bowed. She reached out and stroked his hair. „It’s done, Abe. I went on with my life.“

He lifted his head, his eyes piercing. „Alone.“

She met his gaze, held it „For a time.“

„What happened to him?“

Kristen shook her head. „No, I won’t tell you that“

He glared at her. „Tell me.“

„Or what?“ she asked calmly.

His shoulders sagged and his face suddenly looked haggard. „Please.“

She should have known he’d need to know. She knew, after all. She’d kept tabs on him, even after all these years. „As irony would have it, he went to law school, too. He went into politics and is now the mayor of a small Kansas town.“ Her lips twisted. „He’s running for a seat in the state legislature. Polls show he’s ahead by ten points.“

Abe’s stomach churned. That the monster would prosper, never pay for his crime, never feel a fraction of her pain was more than he could take. „You could ruin him.“

She sat very still. „But I won’t. I didn’t say anything then and I won’t say anything now.“ She looked away, but not before he saw the glint of tears in her eyes. „Because the truth of it is, I’m a coward.“

Abe stared, not believing the words coming out of her mouth. „You are not a coward.“

She blinked, sending the tears down her face. „Yes, I am. These women that come forward, they’re the brave ones. I make them live through it again and again, publicly humiliate themselves again, and most of the time it’s for nothing.“

He gripped her arms and urged her to her feet „I don’t ever want to hear you say that.“ She’d told him her story with a clinical detachment, but she was weeping now and while her rape filled him with helpless rage, her tears broke his heart. He pulled her into his arms and held her tight. „There are all kinds of courage, Kristen. You go into work every day and relive your own experience. You make it possible for these women to get justice. You’re the bravest woman I’ve ever known.“ He kissed the top of her head, rocking her gently, feeling her wave of emotion subside. „After Debra was shot, I lived a day at a time. I volunteered for all the most dangerous jobs because living didn’t matter anymore. I was afraid of the future, Kristen. I was afraid to think about being happy again.“

She’d gone very still in his arms. „Are you happy now, Abe?“

He tugged on her chin until she lifted her face. „Yes.“ He lowered his head and brushed a kiss against her lips. „Are you?“

„Happier than ever in my life.“ She said it so gravely, it squeezed his heart.

He needed to see her smile again. „I bet I could make you happier,“ he teased lightly.

Her lips curved. „I bet you could.“

Thursday, February 26,

11:15 p.m.

He waited until they’d left the kitchen before making his way through her backyard to his van. At first he’d been shocked, shaken, and unsure, but now he was filled with cold rage and certainty. He’d hunted and bagged his quarry. Three men now lay moaning in his basement, waiting for him to mete out justice. He was ahead of schedule. He had time to right one more wrong.

Friday, February 27,

8:45 A.M.

It was Friday, but nobody was thanking anybody, Abe thought. Spinnelli looked haggard after last night’s press conference, like he’d rather be anywhere but leading their morning meeting, but he was there, marker in hand. There truly were all kinds of courage.