Illicit Temptations (Tempted Series Book 1) (34 page)

“Happy pills?” I asked.

“Viagra,” he confirmed. My eyes widened and then I shuddered at the thought. “Yeah, he had big plans for her,” he said softly, glancing down at his feet.

I studied him closely, seeing the inner struggle he was fighting making me feel sorry for him. I had no right to be angry with him. It’s not like I had confessed my love for him and he shut me out. I just feared that if I told him how I felt he wouldn’t be able to love me back. I wasn’t even sure I could fault him for that maybe he was just incapable of loving anyone and not only me. He had been through a lot losing both his parents had to have some effect on him too bad it was his heart that was effected. I think I would’ve preferred if his dick were really broken and not have his heart be the casualty. I pondered that last part and shook my head. No, I definitely didn’t want his dick to be broken, it just sucked that his heart was defected.

“I’m sorry for acting like a bitch,” I said, taking a step closer to him.

“You weren’t being a bitch,” he said sighing. “I feel like there’s an elephant in the room that we’re trying to ignore.”

I definitely wasn’t in the mood to have this conversation to pour my heart out to have it ripped apart nope I’d pass. I glanced down at his crotch for a diversion.

“Is that what we’re calling it now?” I said, plastering a smile to my face as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I leaned in to kiss him, but he pulled back a fraction looking into my eyes as he spoke.

“Nikki…,”

“Mikey, I don’t want to talk,” I said, swallowing the lump that was clogging my throat. I met his gaze with a pleading look. “Please,” I whispered.

He was quiet for a moment before he exhaled and gave me a slight nod.

“Okay,” he said softly, and I waited for him to kiss me, but instead he bent his knees and lifted me into his arms. “No talking,” he promised.

I wrapped my arms around his neck as he carried me up the stairs to the guest room we had spent all our nights together. He placed me on my feet, his eyes bore into mine for a pause before his hands lifted to my shoulders and he turned me around so my back was to him. His fingertips brushed my hair over my shoulder, his soft touch sending goosebumps throughout my body as he pulled at the bow that tied my romper together.

I felt his lips touch the back of my neck, spreading featherlike kisses across my shoulders as his hands worked the sleeves of my romper down my arms. I closed my eyes, my body leaning into his as his hands worked delicately at exposing the upper half of my body. He turned me in arms, taking a step back to look at me, his eyes traveling from mine down to my breasts that felt heavy under his intense stare.

“I don’t know how I got so lucky,” he murmured as he pulled his T-Shirt off over his head chucking it to the side before closing the distance between us. “Maybe there is someone up there looking out for me after all,” he said huskily. His mouth dipped closing over the nape of my neck as he bent his knees and began to trail his open mouth down to my chest. His arms were wrapped around my waist, taking one of my nipples into his mouth, but unlike all the other times when he devoured them this time he took his time. He was gentle as his tongue lapped at my nipple his lips closing over the turgid point sucking slightly before his hot breath blew across it tantalizing me.

I combed my fingers through his hair as he started to tug at the rest of the one piece that was bunched around my waist. I shimmied my hips, helping him push the material down my legs. I stepped out of the outfit as he stood to his full height. I suddenly felt uncomfortable standing there nude under his scrutiny, not because I was self-conscious of my body, but because of the way, he looked at me like I was it for him that I was enough to hold on to him.

He pulled me away from my thoughts by lifting me into his arms again gently laying me down upon the mattress. I watched him silently as he undressed memorizing everything about his body vowing to myself that I’d never forget this moment and the way he looked so intent on loving me. It could be a figment of my imagination, but there was something in his eyes when he climbed on top of me and if it was just my mind running away from me I didn’t want to reel it back. I wanted to live in the moment and just feel him.

His hands cupped my face, and he leaned his forehead against mine as he positioned himself between my legs.

“Say your mine,” he whispered as he looked into my eyes. “I want you. I want all of you your mind, your body, your soul even your heart just for tonight tell me I have you Princess.”

My index finger traveled the outline of his jaw as I met his gaze before I leaned up and kissed his lips softly.

“You have me Mikey, always,” I whispered my words acting like a match that set him ablaze. He thrust into me filling me in one single movement. I watched as he closed his eyes and dipped his head so that his forehead rested on my shoulder. He remained still for a beat, allowing me the time to adapt to the feel of him inside of me. I lifted my hips encouragingly, and he began to move within me. He played me like a fine instrument taking his time as he loved me taking my body to heights I didn’t think were possible. His control was impeccable as he touched every nerve ending in me setting me off like a firecracker.

Mikey didn’t fuck me he made love to me, I never knew there to be a difference until now. Until the moment, he opened his eyes and found mine letting go of his control and exploding inside of me. The intensity in his eyes as he came triggered me to join him finding my own release for the second time.

He kissed me hard his lips bruising mine as he pushed himself off of me withdrawing himself physically and I feared emotionally too. We laid side by side in silence, trying to catch our breath and he reached for my hand intertwining our fingers. He kissed my fingertips before bringing me closer to him, neither of speaking as I dropped my head to his chest and listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

I don’t know how long we stayed like that so quiet, just holding one another, but it seemed like a long while. His breathing steadied making me think he had fallen asleep.

“Mikey?” I said checking to see if he was in fact sleeping. He remained silent confirming my suspicions. I pressed a kiss to his chest before I allowed myself to give into temptation and speak from my heart.

“I love you,” I whispered. It was funny how speaking aloud three little words that I had been holding onto how letting them finally go free could make me feel so light. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep in the arms of the man I loved.

She loved me. Nikki fucking loved
me
. I stared up at the ceiling with her body draped across mine feeling as if I was suffocating. I gently slipped out from under her careful not to wake her and got out of bed. I pulled on my shorts and looked over at the angel sleeping in the bed that I had loved her in. She loved me.

I swiped my hands down my face suddenly feeling desperate for air. I needed to get out of here and clear my head. I was teetering on the edge deceiving myself by toying with the idea that I could be good enough and worthy of her love. If that wasn’t a joke, I didn’t know what was. I grabbed my T-Shirt quickly pulling it over my head before escaping the bedroom and the desire to give into my feelings. My legs quickly carried me down the stairs and I grabbed the keys that were on the table heading out the door without looking back or giving it a second thought.

I told myself that I wasn’t running away that I just needed a breather a moment to collect my thoughts and pull myself away from the fantasy that I could be the man deserving of Nikki’s love. She had a way about her maybe it was the way she looked at me making me feel like I was something even when I knew I was nothing. I started up the car and pulled out of the retirement community not giving two shits about the speed limit or the annoying bumps that got in my way.

I drove with no direction or destination in mind as I rolled down the windows of the car and let the fresh air engulf me. I tried to erase her face from my memory the way she looked at me when she told me that I’d always have her so sincere as she pleaded with my soul to believe the words she was speaking.

I came back to New York to bury my mother feeling more alone than ever before and found Nikki, who brought me out of the darkness that was bestowed upon me. Before my mother died, I was content with who I was figuring it didn’t matter if I was a closed off self-centered prick and whoever didn’t like it could go to hell. Then I was reunited with Nikki. I watched on as she dated that jerk off all along thinking she deserved so much better than him she deserved someone who wanted to make her his purpose.

She had become my purpose. She was the reason I stayed in New York she was the reason I put any effort into trying to be a good employee of Victors. She was the reason I pulled myself together and got us the hell out of Temptations. She was the reason I began to smile again. She was the reason I started to live again. She made me want to make a life for myself, not just sail through life being just another nameless face. I wanted people to know me for my accomplishments and not my failures. I wanted people to know that I was the man that made Nikki Pastore happy simply by loving her with everything in me.

I pulled the car over to the side shifting it into park as I leaned my head against the steering wheel. In just a few weeks, Nikki had taught me to love without condition to speak without bad intention to give without reason and most of all care without an expectation. I loved her and it didn’t matter if she loved me back it was a gift, but the real gift was that I had been given the opportunity to love her. If I had learned, anything through the death of both my parents it was that life was short and a life without love wasn’t a life worth living.

My parent’s lives may have been cut short but in the short time they had been given their lives had been full, full of love for one another and for me. I had been foolish enough to think that my life stopped when theirs did that they were the only two people in existence that could love me. I was wrong. I could love again, I could live again and I could do it all with Nikki she could be my purpose.

I lifted my head from the steering wheel and gazed out the window into the darkness. I didn’t have to be alone anymore. I could turn my life around and let myself be happy I just had to be man enough to do so.

I didn’t want to be alone anymore I wanted to crawl back in bed with Nikki where I belonged. I put the car into park and made a sharp U-turn deciding that I was going back to Aunt Gina’s and I was going to wake up my girl and man the fuck up by looking her in the eyes and telling her that I loved her.

“Wake the fuck up little girl,” someone shouted nudging me awake with strong hands. I thought I was dreaming at first and reached for Mikey but my hands grasped a sheet instead of his warm body causing my eyes to flutter open. I lifted my head and screamed in fear, taking in the man hovering over the bed dressed all in black. He was wearing a ski mask and the only feature of his I could make out were the cold green eyes that stared back at me.

“Get the fuck out of the bed and put your clothes on,” he barked, kicking the mattress for extra measure.

I clutched the sheet to my body as my eyes did a quick scan searching for Mikey.

“Looking for your boyfriend?” He laughed coldly. “He left you high and dry,” he cocked his head to the side. “Maybe not dry.”

“You’re disgusting,” I shouted as tears stung my eyes wondering why Mikey would leave me here alone or if this bastard was just fucking with my head. What if he did something to Mikey? He reached for my arm tugging me out of bed resulting in me falling onto the floor. “Get your fucking hands off of me, you filthy pig,” I said through clenched teeth the tears I was holding back falling down my cheeks.

“I bet you like it filthy…,” he said bending down to grab my clothes before throwing them at me. “You’ve got exactly ten seconds to get your clothes on or I’ll drag you out of this house naked your call, but don’t underestimate me,” his tone gravely as he pulled his gun from behind him and aimed it at me.