Illicit Canvas: political romance and stand alone romance (16 page)

Chapter Twenty

“Come on, let’s get you breakfast. I have the best hangover cure that I can think of,” he says.

“Bagels with cream cheese?” I ask. He shakes his head, smiling. He probably has his own way to make me feel better; after all, he is a great cook.

Being around him is proving to be challenging, especially when he is so great with everything. Within minutes I have freshly made eggs Benedict and coffee on the table. I eat, although I don’t have any appetite. Ethan talks to me and I respond like a robot, because I don’t know how to behave around him anymore. Then he drops me home, and I think about his day, wonder if he is going to see the woman from the restaurant again. Voices inside scream loud and clear that if they get serious, she will take him away from me.

Maja has been texting me all morning. She throws herself at me when I walk through the door, so I start to explain what went on last night with Colin and me.

“What? He got into a fight?” she repeats, her jaw hanging open.

“Yes, Colin started beating up the guy that I was talking to. He went berserk.”

“Unbelievable.”

“I don’t know what got into him. As far as I remember, this guy Gilbert was only standing with me outside. I was so wasted, but I knew what I was doing. I’m not a complete idiot.”
  

“So Colin spent a night in the cell?”

“Yes. Ethan said that he was lucky. Gilbert seemed all right, although he was bleeding badly when the police took him to the station.”

“Horrible. I’m sorry that I didn’t stay. I had a bit too much to drink myself and I wasn’t feeling well. Christian insisted on taking me home. He made sure that I got in safely.”

“Anything happen?” I ask her, and she shakes her head, looking red again.

“No, he behaved himself.”
 

I sit down on the sofa, thinking yet again about last night, now that I’m not distracted by Ethan’s presence. That guy, Gilbert—I don’t even have his number. I know that I should talk to him, see if he is all right. He got arrested because of me.

“Colin is a hypocrite. I saw him kissing that girl from the cheerleader team, Valerie. They were totally into each other.”

Maja’s jaw drops and her eyes go wide.

“What? He was kissing her? I can’t believe this ... after he told you that he loved you?”

“Yes, I mean he went mental because I was talking to Gilbert. That's bad, isn’t it?”

“Maybe I was wrong about Colin. It looks like he's a total douche.”

“Well, he’s clearly in his own lala land. I don’t want to see him or talk to him for the next couple of weeks.”

“Okay, so where have you been all this time?” she asks and when I don’t answer, she already knows that I spent the night in Ethan’s apartment.
 

“It was a date,” I say with a heavy sigh. “Ethan told me this morning that he went out for a date.”

“What? He told you that?”

I nod.
 

“It’s not my business, but it seems to me that he’s doing everything he can to get you out of his head. Sorry, it must suck.”

“It does, big time.”

Maja starts telling me that I should still follow my heart. Colin doesn’t mean anything to me, and I shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting Ethan. I go back to my bedroom, hoping to have a snooze. My head hurts and I feel exhausted. I close my eyes, easing off my racing thoughts.

My phone starts buzzing, interrupting my quiet time. I open my eyes and glance at the screen, annoyed. It says that it’s Gilbert, but I don’t remember having that name in my contacts or saving it yesterday.

“Hello.”

“Hey, Arwen, it’s your Prince Charming from last night,” says the voice that I do recognise.
 

“Gilbert, how did you get my number?”

“I saved it on your phone, don’t you remember?”

I want to slap myself. “I was drunk. So no, I don’t remember much, but I know that you spent the night in a cell because of my stupid ex.”

“He was your ex? Wow, that explains everything. I was only defending your honour, princess. It was necessary, but don’t worry. I’m fine. My nose isn’t broken and they let me out this morning.”

I’m listening to him and I can’t get my head around this. Gilbert doesn’t seem disheartened, but I feel completely humiliated.

“Listen, I have to apologise. Colin … he has a thing for me and we went out for a short time. It was never serious and I tried to stay friends with him, but–”

“Arwen, stop apologising. Everyone gets out of control when they drink. Despite spending the night in the cell, I had a really good night and I would like to take you out. What do you say, tomorrow or next weekend?”

My heart makes a small flip and I stare at the phone for several seconds, wondering if this is really happening. Ethan is moving on, dating someone else and I’m stuck in the same spot, dreaming about a man that I can’t have.

“Silence ... well, that’s not a great sign. I was expecting some other answer,” he says, sounding sad.

“Sorry, I’m a little stunned. I didn’t think that you'd want to go out with me after last night.”

“I guess you were wrong, Arwen. I like you and I would love to get to know you better.”

“Gilbert, is it all right if I don’t give you an answer just yet? I need some time to think about this. My life isn’t quite as straightforward as you may think.”
 

“Is it that guy, Colin, the angry man?”

It’s his father.

I can’t tell him anything until I figure out what I want. I need to deal with my own demons first, before I open another chapter in my life. It’s all good, but I’m not ready to forget about Ethan.

“No, it’s something else. It’s complicated.”

“It’s all right, darling. Call me whenever you want. My offer still stands.”

I flop back on the bed when he hangs up, wondering what the hell is wrong with me. There is never going to be anything between me and Ethan. I should have just said yes. Ethan doesn’t feel guilty that he is dating someone else. This can’t get anymore straightforward.
 

My subconscious answers for me. This isn’t easy, because I will never accept that Ethan doesn’t belong to me.

For the first time since my divorce, I’m torn between what’s right and wrong. After I dropped Arwen home, I felt like a coward, a bastard. When I told her that Sylvie and I had a date, I couldn’t take the disappointment that I saw in her eyes. She said she didn’t mind, but deep down I know that I hurt her.

I had a good time with Sylvie and she made it obvious that she wanted to see me again. I said that I’d call her. Can I be with another woman and at the same time be so close to Arwen? How is this ever going to work?

I get busy, spending the rest of the afternoon creating social media accounts for the business, engaging with other dealers and old friends from Europe.

Next day I wake up at five and I work out for an hour, killing myself. Exercise helps keep my head straight and away from thoughts of Arwen. My business can take off, or it can fail. Arwen is talented and I can make her successful, but we have to work together, allowing for no distractions.

I get to the office in the morning and start my day with emails. Monday is always intense and I have several draining meetings later on in the day. Paperwork takes a lot of time. In the afternoon Arwen texts, asking me to pay her a visit. I’m surprised to hear from her.

I consider a reply saying no, but after yesterday I don’t want to disappoint her even more. The day stretches, and at two o’clock I lock myself in the office, trying to finish some of my work. Colin’s phone goes to voicemail. Bethany knows about his incident and she promised to talk to him. We used to have such a great connection. Now he is doing his own thing. The night in the cell probably didn’t teach him anything.

At five I drive to Arwen’s, feeling that it’s time to step up her search. She is unhappy about her past. Her father made her believe that her talent is worthless, that her paintings weren’t good enough. She wants to find him, so we need to cross another name from the list.
 

I park the car outside her house and ring. After climbing the set of stairs I knock at the white door. A blond girl, very Nordic-looking, opens up, smiling shyly.

“You must be Ethan, Colin’s father, right?”

“Yes, I am. Is Arwen inside?” I ask, slightly taken aback that Arwen’s roommate knows about me.

“She’s in her bedroom. You can go straight through. I’m Maja.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Maja,” I say, and she blushes.

Arwen’s place is tiny, much smaller than I expected. The girl tells me that Arwen’s room is on the right. I knock first and then press the handle. She has three covered canvasses by the window.

“What have you got there?”

She looks tense and I instantly know that this is her first time presenting the paintings to someone other than her teacher. She had shown me and other dealers that one painting that she had been working on, but nothing else.

“These are my paintings. I want you to use them for your exhibition.”

I shove my hands into my pockets, studying her. She has her arms folded over her chest.

“Are you sure about this?” I ask again. She’s come a long way. I feel privileged. She looks at me and those blue eyes widen, filled with panic. She doesn’t need to worry. It’s only me and her.

“Yes, I am now. I want to become someone, a successful artist. This is part of the job, to put my work out there. Not everyone will like it, I’m aware of that.”

She smiles and I let out a quiet breath, nodding for her to show me what she created. Arwen removes the cloth from the first painting. I move closer, seeing a beautiful landscape, a place that I don’t recognise. She captured the sunset and the light well: various shades of red and yellow come alive on the canvas. This must be somewhere in Saint-Malo. I see bottomless, untamed, dark sea and white crested wild waves. It’s beautiful; simple but so alluring and powerful. It’s better than I expected. The colours are vivid, deep, and I can see that she put her heart and soul into it. There is a barely noticeable couple on the right, by the rock. Two people embracing in a passionate kiss. Their figures are barely seen, but they add meaning to the colours on the painting.
 

“So, what do you think? I used to go there all the time to clear my head. I tried to recreate it as I remembered.”

“It’s unique and powerful, Arwen. Show me more.”

The second painting is a portrait of an old man in the centre of Brussels. I recognise the cathedral and the buildings around him. The third is another landscape that looks very familiar.

I stare at all three, trying to make sense of what I’m seeing. She has such a unique, mesmerising style, focusing so much detail on the light and colours, able to inject a positive energy into her work. When I look at her, she is chewing her lip, staring anxiously at me.

“I have no words to tell you how much I love your creations.”

Her face brightens, and it’s possible that with these paintings, the first exhibition should attract many people who are passionate about modern art. I remember Antoine and Alain. They both wanted to buy her work straight away. I have a captive audience and with the upcoming exhibition she might be busy for years.

“Really, I wasn’t sure about the first one.”

I walk up to her and place my hands on her shoulders, knowing that I might be crossing the line again. “Don’t ever stop painting. You’re very talented and people will love your work. These three paintings will be sold first.”

“I’m unknown, Ethan. You need some famous name to attract the crowd, something unique.”

“Don’t worry. I’m working on it, but I believe in you. The market is saturated with old-school art. Your style is fresh and innovative. With the right marketing, the whole of Brussels will get to know your name.”

His words are getting through to me slowly and I believe him. That usual uncontrollable fear and anxiety doesn’t seize my body. I’m still a little tense, but once Ethan starts telling me how much he likes the art, I begin to relax.

Our conversation is no longer forced, the last incident long forgotten. I ask Ethan for the key to his new property. I want to do something for him, but it’s a surprise. I have spoken to a few students from my art classes. Some of them weren’t interested in Ethan’s idea at all. I thought that if I showed them the place and location they might change their minds. There are some really talented artists in my freshman class, but it’s difficult for them to represent themselves. Ethan’s exhibition could give them an opportunity to break the stigma.

He takes the paintings and we agree to meet tomorrow. It’s time to visit another dealer. I can’t put this off any longer.

I go out for a run later on, feeling like a heavy weight has lifted off my chest. I’m moving into the next stage of my life. The stage where I don’t have to be afraid of what I create. Now I just have to straighten things with my father, find him and tell him that he was wrong, that I can paint well.