I'll Be Down for You: A Bay Area Saga (8 page)

After I sat in my feelings for a few minutes in silence, I rolled my eyes hard before giving in. “It’s cool. I’m just not all ready to be around people I don’t know like that—especially in those types of environments.”

“I got you.”

What I wasn’t gonna mention to her was that anytime I came across a cluster of niggas in one spot like that, my mind was gonna get to racing. I already knew that if Khalil even knew I just looked down Mead, he would want to kick my ass. I knew better, and as soon as she told me to turn onto the street, I shoulda kept going.

But anyway, we had passed that moment, and hopefully, headed to unwind a little bit.

Saturday came and as reluctant as I was, I had decided to make an appearance at that block party with Desiree. I didn’t pack a bag because I had changed my mind about spending the night. I figured that after introductions were done that I was gonna find me a location in the cut where I could kick back and observe for a few hours until I was ready to go. I threw on a pair of Vibrant shredded jeans, a fitted, off the shoulders white top, pink Air Jordan’s, and a folded pink bandana as a headband to secure my ponytail. I put in oversized hoops and a pink diamond tennis bracelet that my uncle had bought me last year. I made sure to grab my sunglasses before I headed toward the front of the house to leave. But just as I got close to the door, the doorbell chimed scaring the shit out of me. That thing blared through the entire manor when it sounded off.

I opened the door and was met by Detective Davis. He was a tall man who wore nice suits. Even the night that he and his partner came by, he was dressed in a suit. Made me wonder what kind of money cops made. I looked past him to see if he was alone, and surprisingly enough, he was.

“Morning, Jazz. Sorry to come by unannounced. Do you happen to have a few minutes?”

“Sure,” I replied, opening the door wider for him to walk through. “You have leads on what happened to my uncle?” I asked, desperately.

“Can we go somewhere and sit down? Is your aunt also available?”

“She’s not my aunt. But no, I don’t think Eva is here. I’m not sure where she went either; so I can’t say when she’ll be back.”

“It’s okay. I can talk to you.”

“Alright, sure. Follow me.” I led us down the corridor and out onto the patio. “Would you like some lemonade, a soda, water…?”

“I’m okay, but thank you for the offer.”

When we made it outside and were finally seated, he looked around at the large amount of land surrounding the area. “Wow, it’s really nice here,” he complimented.

“Yeah, I kinda love it. DJ did well by his family,” I remarked, sadly. “So, what’s going on? Why are you here?”

“I just had some questions that I was hoping to get answered about people your uncle knew or where he might’ve been coming back from that night.”

I leaned my head back and looked upward. I wasn’t happy about having to rehash this stuff again. I didn’t have it in me at all. “Okay,” I agreed. “But I don’t know what else can be said. Y’all spoke to Eva and Khalil already, right? I mean, I don’t know what I could tell you. I was just hoping that you had something to tell me. When do we get answers? This shit is taking too long.”

“I understand, Jazz. I’m very sorry. Trust me; we’re trying to get further on this. We really are. Our jurisdiction is really limited and so we’re working closely with two other detectives in Alameda County to see how far we can get. I’m hopeful.”

“Okay. Well, I’m listening.”

“Well, I wanted to find out if you or Mr. Thomas had any luck finding out where your uncle might’ve been coming from that night? We know that he was coming from the Bay Area, but if we can find out his exact departing location, it might help nudge the investigation forward.”

I couldn’t roll my eyes hard enough. All this time had passed and he had the nerve to be in our house asking if we had any information to help
his
investigation along. What the fuck?

“So, you came here for me to help do your job?”

“I don’t think there’s a need for sarcasm,” he shot. “We’re all on the same side here. Whether you or your family knows it, we’re taking this all very seriously. We want to find out who did this so that we can close this and hopefully give you all closure in the process.”

I felt a strong urge to spit in his white ass face when he came out his mouth with that bullshit. But I tried to maintain the peace. The reality of the situation was that as bad as I wanted these niggas murdered, I primarily wanted to know who they were and these muthafuckas sometimes had the resources to find that type of shit out. So, it was kinda like we needed their punk asses—at least for some of the legwork.

“I apologize, Detective Davis. I really do. I know you’re just doing your job. It just seems like nothing is really coming from any of this. So, you can understand my frustration.”

“I do understand.”

“You know what? I can say this because Eva isn’t here, and if you don’t mind, I would really appreciate it if you didn’t bring this portion up around her when,
or if
you have discussions with her later.”

“Okay,” he said, taking out his notepad to jot down what I was about to say.

“Khalil and I found out about a woman that my uncle was in a relationship with. Neither of us knew about the two of them and only found out about her after the accident. Her name is Danielle and she lives in Castro Valley. I’m pretty sure that if my uncle wasn’t coming from her house that he had stopped there before heading home. So, he might’ve told her about any pit stops. Just a guess. Give me your pad and I can write her phone number down for you and maybe you can contact her to set up a meeting or something. I’ll let her know that you’re gonna call her.”

“That would be great. And it’s good information. And I,
of course
, won’t mention it to Ms. Snowden. We’re not here to disrupt families, just to crack a case.”

“Perfect. Was there anything else you needed to ask me, Detective?”

He stood from his seat and tucked his notepad into the inside of his blazer, then tugged at the jacket to ensure that it was straightened. “No questions right now. But we will reach out to the young lady.”

“Okay, that sounds good. Please let me know how it goes.”

“Of course,” he said, turning on his heel and heading back toward the front of the manor. When we arrived outside, he turned to me. “How are you holding up?”

“How am I holding up
today
? I don’t know yet. I’m on my way to hang out with my friend, so I’ll see how that goes. But most days, I’m just in a daze. I just can’t get past knowing that DJ never stood a chance. I had to keep reliving the part where I drove right past him, and that the coroner’s truck with him inside, pulled right out in front of me. That my uncle was inside that truck deceased…not breathing.”

That shit killed my soul every time I thought about it. I often had these vivid dreams of following the coroner’s truck to their stop. I would pull open the doors to find that my uncle was alright and asking me to get him back home. He would hug me and thank me for saving him and we’d hop in my car with trap music turned all the way up as we headed to the manor. And then I’d wake up and realize that it was a nightmare encased inside a dream and I’d end up soaking my pillow until my eyes had red veins popping through. Khalil had accused me a few times of keeping everything in and just letting it out; but what he didn’t know was that I ‘let it out’ quite often—just in private. It’s all so private for me . . . and so personal to everything that I am.

“I’m so sorry for your loss and for the pain that you’re living with. I truly am.”

“Detective Davis,” I whispered. “Did you know that we had a closed casket? His injuries were so bad that I didn’t get to see him. So the last time I saw his face—was the last time I would see his face. That destroys me on a daily. He raised me like I was his own child…I had no goodbyes. I have no closure.”

“I’m hoping that we can get you some soon.”

“Me too,” I said, low. “So…” I rebounded. “Motorcycles? What the fuck?”

“You don’t happen to know anyone who—”

“Haven’t we answered that already? I mean, it was one of the first things you asked us when the witness told you that—”

“True. We did. But something might’ve triggered so I want to stay current. It’s our strongest lead right now so we have to poke at it aggressively. If that means the same questions resurface from time to time, I’ll just have to apologize in advance for not having a choice in the matter.”

“Well, I’m sure we do. I know that my uncle has friends who ride. I mean, who doesn’t? Khalil might be a better person to ask something like that because I was never around that scene. It never interested me. Never did biker parties or any of that stuff. I was at school in my studies until recently. My uncle saw to that.”

After our conversation, the detective and I went our separate ways. I was emotionally drained and was tempted to not go to Oakland. But I decided that it might be better to go ahead since I didn’t plan to stay there for too long anyway. And besides, if I didn’t, Desiree would probably blow my phone up until I answered.

On the way to meet Desiree, I called Khalil to let him know that the detective had come by the house, which led me to ask him for the ninety-ninth time if he happened to know of anything yet. But of course he responded to me by changing the subject to some random ass topic about food and asking if I’d spoken to Dani. I expected that, though. So, while he talked, I kinda tuned him out and my brain was everywhere else.

“Jazz…you there?” Khalil asked, snatching me from my reverie.

“Yeah, Khalil. I’m here.”

“Why’d you zone out?”

“I didn’t. I’m driving. On my way to Oakland to this block party with Desiree.”

“You don’t need to be—”

“…
in Oakland
. I know. That’s what you’re about to say, right? But yet you won’t tell me what you know or what you don’t know. How does that shit work, Khalil? I’m not a little ass girl. You keep being hella vague whenever I ask you about everything, and then you go and tell me where I should and shouldn’t go; who I should and shouldn’t fuck with. But then you wanna leave me in the dark.”

“This ain’t me tryin’ to leave you in the dark. I promise. This is me tryin’ to make sure I keep you protected.”

“But fuck, Khalil! Fuck!” I cried. The tears started to flow before I could stop them and before I knew it, my eyes were filling with puddles and my vision was beginning to blur when I couldn’t wipe the tears fast enough. I slowed my car and exited at Golf Links, then pulled into the Shell gas station to regroup.

“Where you at, Jazz?” he asked. “I don’t want you cryin’ and shit. Where are you?”

“I’m at Shell by the Zoo. I’ll be alright,” I managed to say.

“Nah, you don’t sound like it. Why don’t you come to where I’m at,” he suggested.

“But I told Desiree—”

“Fuck what you told Desiree. You need to come where I am. Go back two exits and come to my spot real quick. Just let me talk to you before you get to where you goin’. You’re close by anyway.”

I knew I didn’t want to argue the point with him. Because truth be told, I wasn’t really in the mood to go to a block party—or any party for that matter.

“Alright, I’m headed your way.”

Jazz was on edge and on the war path; I could tell. I’d been around her since she was younger and I saw how she operated. Trigger happy with her emotions: do now and think later…if at all. I had been the one to pull her off of a chick or two back in the day when she was fighting in the streets. She was a pit bull; and now with DJ being dead, she was set on finding out what she could. But I knew more than anybody how dangerous that shit could be. Especially now. As soon as we hung up the phone, I went and stood out on my front lawn waiting for her to pull up. Hopefully, she actually showed up and didn’t just say she was coming to get me to shut up. I was just about to walk back inside when I saw her car ascending up my hill.

The minute she stepped out of the car, as hard as I tried not to look, those jeans hugging her hips all immaculate and shit, was the first vision I caught. The white top layered over her breasts and off the shoulder—fuck. The girl was fine as hell without even putting energy into it. She always had been too. All I could think about was that she was gonna shut it down for all the other females at that little block party. I probably saved her from a few fights by having her come chill with me.

“You lookin’ good, girl,” I told her as soon as she was close enough to hear me.

“Thank you,” she replied, avoiding eye contact.

I led the way up the stairs and into the front door, with her following close behind. “So, do I get to keep you here with me today instead of you going to a damn block party where you don’t know anybody except Desiree?”

“That was the whole reason I was going
because
I didn’t know anybody there.”

“Well, now you’re here. I thought maybe we could Netflix and chill, or go out to eat or just talk if you want. I just want you—”

“You just want me distracted, Khalil. It ain’t gonna happen,” she snapped.

“Nah, I ain’t tryin’ to distract you. I’m tryin’ to keep you calm long enough to trust that I got this. All I need for you to do is trust me on this.”

Once we made it inside, I watched Jazz look around, nodding her head as she took in the layout.

Her mood suddenly shifted and came alive. “This is nice, Khalil!” She looked toward my rounded staircase that went up to the second level. “Look at that! You can overlook the living room from up there. What’s that, a loft?”

“Yeah. I like the open space.”

“Is that a chandelier dropping from the center up there?!”

“Yeah,” I answered, laughing. “That’s exactly what it is.”

“I like it. A lot. And then you got the fancy flooring in your sunken living room. Wow.” She turned around to look at me. “Who decorated this for you?” she asked. “One of your skanks?”

I started to laugh. “You sayin’ that I ain’t got taste? That I can’t come up with a design on my own?”

“I’m sayin’ . . . you didn’t come up with
this
. So, which one of your hoodrats made it pretty?”

“You
funnnny
! Didn’t no hoodrat do any of this here, girl. I had this professionally done with me standing in the background supervising each and every damn step of the way,” I boasted.

“Supervising, huh?” She nudged me with her shoulder. “You ain’t get yo’ hands dirty though,” she laughed. I was glad that she seemed more relaxed than she did not too long ago.

“So, what we are we doing? We going out to eat? Or do you wanna order in?”

“You tried it! You
know
I’m supposed to be going to Oakland!”

I walked over to my oversized couches and plopped down and patted the seat next to me. “Come on and sit down…
if
you can in those tight ass jeans.”

“
Oh
, he got jokes!” she laughed. “They ain’t tight. They just look like it.”

“Lookin’ all B-girl and shit up in here! It looks good though girl.”

“Thank you, Khalil. I’m glad you noticed.”

“Of course I noticed. You’re hard to miss. But don’t act like you don’t know that shit. You probably left hella fans back on that campus. Don’t front.”

“Nah. Nothing like that.”

“
Ohhh
, because of that bum nigga you insist on laying down with?”

“See, there you go again!” she laughed. “But wanna keep claiming that you ain’t jealous. Tell me anything,” she smiled.

I tried to play it off and not say too much because I did feel some type of way about that shit. She was better than the niggas she chose to spend her time with.

“It ain’t jealousy. I’m just callin’ it like I see it. He’s a bum.”

“
Khalil
, you need to stop,” she laughed. “For your information, it’s nothing serious. Never was. You know damn well that DJ woulda opposed me trying to bring him around. Real fast!”

“So what is it then? Or what
was
it?” I asked, curiously, hoping that shit was all the way in the past.

“He was just somebody to play with.” She crossed her arms across her chest and looked at stared through me with those pretty ass eyes of hers, then said, “And you say it’s not jealousy, but I swear you seem kinda bent about the situation. Speak yo’ peace if that’s the case. We both grown up in here.”

I looked away from her. I didn’t know why all of a sudden I was nervous around her ass. That shit hadn’t ever happened with any female, and went all the way against my manhood. But it was probably because she was “Honey”, DJ’s niece, and I had always said that I wouldn’t trespass since they were both like my family. But shit, Jazz had always been a fine ass chick, and now that she was older, she was looking even more…

“Khalil,” she called out, dragging me up out of my thoughts. “You hear what I said? Don’t be making me come over here just to ignore me.”

“Never that,” I smiled. “And me speaking my peace…I don’t have a problem with it. I think since you were about eighteen you been fuckin’ with the wrong ones. I think that when you started to get older you shoulda cared a little bit more about who you associated with.”

“Yeah, I can admit that I’ve been kinda reckless. But you gotta know, too, that I was just having fun. I’ve never been serious with any boy or man. Not ever.”

“I figured that.”

“Okay, what else you got for me?” she asked.

I thought for a few seconds and then went ahead and said what I had told myself I wouldn’t. But it was almost like she was challenging me to do just that. So fuck it.

“What else I got, huh?”

“Yeah, what else?”

“Well, let’s see. I damn sure think that you’re fine as hell. I couldn’t speak on it because of how DJ might’ve felt about it.”

“For real?”

“Hundred percent.”

“
Wow
,” she pondered, before looking away momentarily
.
She turned back to look at me, then spoke. “I honestly think he woulda cosigned me and you being together. So you just held out for nothin’, Sir.”

“What if I ain’t tryin’ to hold out no more though?”

She lowered her lids slightly and flashed a bashful smile at me. “Whew…it just got hot up in here though,” she remarked, animatedly fanning her face.

“You think you’d be ready for somebody like me?” I asked her.

“Oh yeah, I’d for sure be ready for somebody like you. Don’t act like you don’t know I’ve been crushing on you since I was sixteen. Don’t
eee
ven try to act like you don’t know.”

“Alright. So let’s do it like this then; you spend the rest of the day with me and we see what happens from there.”

“Okay, I’m with that. You gonna tell me about your visit to Dani’s house and what she was talking about?”

“Oh yeah, Danielle,” I said, taking a short pause. “She’s legit. She was for sure down with DJ. She seems like good people too. I just don’t know quite what to do with her now though. She has that house that DJ got her, and DJ was fronting her lifestyle. And from what she told me, they were for real about to be together. So, you know we rock with Eva, and—”

“
You
rock with Eva,” she interrupted. “
I
don’t rock with Eva.”

“See, I thought I noticed something with y’all, but you can’t ever be too sure with females. What’s up with that?”

“She’s a gold digger looking for a free ride.”

“Why you think that?”

“Come on now, Khalil. Y’all men stay getting taken by a pretty face—a pretty face or a stripper pole-ready!”

“
Aww
, you comin’ hard! You wrong for that!”

“It’s true though. Y’all do get down like that. And as far as Eva’s goes, her ass has a degree from Stanford.
Stanford
, okay? And she hasn’t done a damn thing with it. Not even get into the business. Who does that shit?”

“So, you’re saying that if I make you my woman, and you already have all this here, and what you already have from DJ, that you’ll wanna work?”

“Hell yeah! I need my brain busy. I mean, shit, I’m not sayin’ that I wouldn’t want my man to take care of me, but I wanna at least see what
I
can do. I’m hungry for that corporate life and callin’ shots. Like hungry for it.”

“I admire that. For real. I feel like I’m getting to know you for the first time—as an adult.”

“Yeah, I’m kind of a
Boss
, ain’t I?” she gushed, playfully. “I’m playin’!”

“Nah, shit, don’t retract. Toot ya own horn. Nothing wrong with that at all.”

“Don’t get me wrong, Khalil. I don’t dislike her. Not at all. I guess more than anything, I just don’t respect her . . . that much. And then, she got the good life where she only has to look pretty, fuck her man, and shop, and she couldn’t even give my uncle any babies. I’m surprised he didn’t have no babies on her.”

“
Whoa
! Listen to you! No woman would ever be good enough for DJ,” I laughed.

“That’s not true. Eva wasn’t a horrible choice, but he coulda done better. I’m just sayin’. But enough about Eva. What’s up with Dani? If DJ was taking care of her—”

“I’m already making steps so you don’t need to think about that at all.”

She sighed deeply. “It’s just so much to deal with all at once.”

“Yeah, well that’s not even the whole story either,” I said, hesitantly. I hadn’t wanted to tell Jazz because I didn’t know how she’d feel about it, but after hearing what she had just said, it might be the best time to just say it.

“What does that mean? What more could there be?”

“I think you know…”

“She’s pregnant?”

“Yeah.”

“
Whaaat
?!” She started to smile, but then paused and blurted out, “Why didn’t she tell me that when I met her ass? Why’d she wait to tell you?”

“She said that she didn’t know how you would take it. She was prepared to not say anything at all. So it’s good you even told me about her so I could go and talk to her myself.”

“So, when is she taking a paternity test? I’m not just up and ready to take her at her fuckin’ word like that. I don’t give a fuck what kind of house deed she has, or pieces of mail with DJ’s name on it.”

“Well, this part you might not wanna hear, but you’re gonna have to contact your mother or your aunt in Canada, for DNA. Without DJ, we need a sibling.”

“
Ugh
! Why can’t we test the baby against me? I’m his family.”

“We’ll find out about that. It might be inconclusive, but we’ll have her ask her doctor on her next visit and go from there.”

“Good. I’d rather do that because I’m not reaching out to that lady, or her bootsie ass sister. They didn’t come to their own brother’s funeral. They haven’t been around in all these years. Fuck them broads.”

I put my hand on the top of her thigh and rubbed it lightly. “Okay. We got you over here to get your mind off of stuff, so let’s go figure out what we’re gonna eat and then find a few movies to watch.”

She turned to me and smiled that pretty ass smile of hers. “That’s a good idea. I’m down for some Le Cheval’s,” she suggested.

“I see we just gonna end up in Oakland regardless, huh?”

“Yep.”

“Let’s go then. While I go and grab my keys, you might wanna call ya girl and let her know that you won’t be making it to her block party.”