If I Forget You (9 page)

“I’m not sure what I’ll major in yet,” she said. “At least I’ve decided to go to college instead of backpacking across Europe or something. Not that I’d mind that, but I’ve made a decision. It’s one step forward.”

He laughed. “Yeah, it’s further than me. I envy anyone who knows exactly what they want.”

She studied his face. They were in a dark corner of the room and nobody was paying attention to them. He inched a little closer, and Avery’s heart felt like it might pound right out of her chest. Was he a player? He didn’t seem like a player, but maybe he was. He touched her shoulder and slid his fingers up to her cheek, pausing a moment to play with a few pieces of her hair near her jawline. She held her breath. So maybe he
was
interested …

Her phone rang and she tore her attention away from Ryan to look at the screen. Unknown number. Against her better judgment, she answered.

“Hello?”

“Ave, it’s me.”

“Oh, hi, Tam.”

Avery tried not to notice the way Ryan’s eyes lit up when she said Tam’s name. Until that moment neither she nor Ryan had brought Tam up. If she’d known it was Tam calling, she wouldn’t have answered. Something about that thought made her feel terrible.

“So, do you think you might come later when your guests are gone? I’m kind of bored. I keep waiting for Ryan to show up. Remember how he said he might?”

“Yeah, I remember.” Avery turned away from Ryan, lowering her voice.

“I think I’m going to try to get something going with him, you know? I could tell he was interested in me, don’t you think?”

Avery couldn’t lie. “Yeah, I think he was.”

“So, will you come? Are they gone yet?”

“Not yet, but probably soon. I’ll see if I can take the car and drop by.”

“Oh, good. There’s someone here I want you to hang out with. He’s got Avery’s Future Boyfriend written all over him.”

Avery let out a sigh. Tam was always trying to set her up with different guys. Sometimes it looked like things might work out, and then Avery would do something forgetful or stupid and botch the whole thing. She was pretty sure Ryan would be no exception
—
and the poor guy Tam had waiting for her at the party was just a dead end waiting to happen.

“Sounds good,” Avery finally managed. “I’m not dressing up or anything. I’m pretty tired.”

“It’s all good. See you later.”

Avery ended the call and looked up at Ryan, who was studying her closely. She couldn’t get a good read on him. Why had he touched her so intimately if he wasn’t interested? He had to be a player. She knew she was right when he opened his mouth and said, “I’m dying to see your friend Tam again. Can I catch a ride with you? I rode here with my mom and Victor.”

Avery’s shoulders slumped. “Sure.”

* * *

Ryan didn’t talk much on the way to the party. He kept tapping his knee and looking out the window. Annoyed, Avery pushed on the gas and drove way too fast through the neighborhood streets. The GPS in her mom’s car told her there was one minute left until their destination was reached.

So you touch my cheek and play with my hair and act all interested, and now you ignore me because you remembered you want my best friend instead?

She wanted to say something to him, but she couldn’t. She breathed a sigh of relief when she turned the corner and saw a long line of cars parked along both sides of the road. Stacy Edisson’s house was easy to spot.

“Guess we’re here,” she muttered, parking a block away in the only spot available.

He turned to look at her, a smile plastered on his face. “Do you think Tam’s interested in me? Should I even try?”

Now was the time to lie and tell him Tam was a player, like him. She could tell him Tam would only break his heart, but the truth was Tam wasn’t like that.

“She’s totally into you,” Avery said with a shrug, and turned to open her door. “Hope you guys hit it off tonight.”

She shut the door, waited for Ryan to get out, and pressed the lock button on her mom’s keys. Then she took off down the sidewalk, walking so fast her breaths started coming hard and shallow.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” Ryan asked, catching up with her. “Are you angry with me?”

“Why would I be angry with you?” She tried really hard not to clench her teeth, but she couldn’t help herself.

“Well, you’re obviously upset at
something,
” Ryan continued, practically jogging beside her. “You weren’t like this earlier. I thought we had … an understanding. You know?”

An understanding? She stopped fifteen feet away from Stacy’s driveway and turned to face Ryan. “What do you mean?”

He let out a nervous laugh. “The kissing deal. Do you want to call that off? Is it going to make things weird between us if I’m interested in your best friend?”

Kissing deal. Kissing deal. She shut her eyes and held her breath. Why couldn’t she remember this? Then she caught the tail end of a memory, slippery as a fish, and held on tight. She was in a restaurant with her mom and the Royals. Ryan was next to her, his dark eyes fastened to hers as she told him something about fishing with her dad and how much better salmon tasted when it was fresh. Then the memory floated away and she had nothing left. Something else had happened that night. Had she written it down in her journal?

“Avery?”

She opened her eyes. “I’m sorry, yeah … it might be weird.” She couldn’t let on that she’d forgotten something apparently so important.

He narrowed his eyes. “Are you sure? You still haven’t kissed anyone, have you?”

She had what Tam called virgin lips, and it was deeply embarrassing. “No.”

“Okay, well, I’m still open to our deal if you want to keep it going.”

“All right.” Her voice was shaky. She couldn’t help but look at Ryan’s perfect, full lips. Had she agreed to kiss him for some reason? She had to admit it wasn’t an entirely terrible prospect … if it wasn’t so obvious it would mean nothing to him.

“Great. After you,” he said, smiling as he swept an arm toward the party.

She gave him one last look and followed the sidewalk up to Stacy’s front porch and stepped through the open door. Once inside, she immediately regretted coming. There was too much noise, too many people she didn’t know, and no sign of Tam anywhere. All she wanted to do was go back home and look through her journal entries for anything about Ryan and the supposed kissing deal.

10

As soon as Avery was in bed, she checked her phone and saw that Jordan had already texted her.

Everything okay? I can’t find you.

Then another one from him.
You want to get together another time?

She texted back:
I’m sorry, but I had to leave before you got back. Something came up. If you want to get together sometime soon, I’d like that.

Cringing, she hit send. She could date multiple guys at the same time. She had watched others do it in high school. Non-exclusive dating. No commitments. She wasn’t breaking any rules as long as everyone involved knew she didn’t want to be exclusive. The question was would she be able to choose one over the other if things did progress?

But who was she kidding? She hardly knew these guys. With her luck, they wouldn’t want anything to do with her in two weeks. That was how it usually went. That was why she was so dead-set on following her dad’s advice that she stay true to herself. Tam wasn’t. She was a nice, shiny goldfish one second and a piranha the next. It was how nearly everyone she’d ever known reacted when she accidentally hurt them. A wall went up and nothing was ever the same again. The only exceptions were her mom and Chloe.

Her phone beeped
—
a reply from Jordan:
I looked for you everywhere!
Sorry you had to leave, but I understand. Busy until Tuesday. I have a dinner meeting that night, but we can do something after that.

She stared hard at the message. A dinner meeting? It sounded so formal.

Are you a student?
she typed.

No, I used to be.

Did you graduate already?

No.

Huh. There had to be a story there. If he had an office job it would explain the nice clothes he wore.

She texted:
So you were on campus because your mom works there?

Yep.

It was near midnight now. She could still hear the bass next door. It made her wonder what Jordan was doing besides answering her texts. And what was Kent up to? He’d gone back over after walking her home. He and Jordan were friends. What if one of them mentioned her to the other? This could be very bad.

Does Tuesday work?
Jordan asked.

Yes, anytime after 7:00.

She wanted to tell him about her date with Kent, but decided she could tell him on Tuesday. A text didn’t seem appropriate for something like that.

Great! Goodnight,
he texted.
I’m glad you came tonight.

Thanks for inviting me.

A row of smiley faces were followed by:
It won’t be the last time.

She decided to end the conversation and not text back. After entering her two dates into her calendar, she put her phone away and rolled onto her side to stare out the window just in time to see Tam getting into a cab alone.

* * *

Avery had been on exactly two real dates her entire life, and both of them were set up by Tam. The first one was dinner and bowling. She’d thrown up her dinner in the bowling alley restroom and couldn’t remember why. She could only remember the embarrassment of having to lie about why she was as white as a sheet when she’d come back out. The second date was a movie. She remembered his name when they went into the movie and forgot it by the time they walked out of the theater.

With all of that inferior experience under her belt, she scarfed down dinner on Monday night and rushed to her room to get dressed. Chloe stopped outside the bathroom as Avery was curling her hair.

“What’s his name?” Chloe asked, smiling.

Avery released a curl and breathed a sigh of relief as it bounced into a loose spiral. Seattle’s humidity had not played nice with the hairstyles she was used to. Tonight looked like it might work, though. Less frizz, more cooperation.

“Kent,” she answered. “Tomorrow is Jordan.”

Chloe folded her arms. “Two dates in two days? With different boys? My, my.”

Avery released another curl. “Going to that party wasn’t a bad idea.” Although she had a feeling it would have happened even without the party. “And no, Chloe, I didn’t drink. I had one Coke. Oh, and no sex either. I was in my bed
—
alone
—
before midnight.”

“Well, I’m not your mother …”

“But you care, admit it.”

Chloe bit her bottom lip and looked at the hallway carpet. “As long as you don’t bring the boys here, all is well. And yes, I do care, especially since I told Susan I’d watch over you.”

Skipping over the possibilities of that conversation, Avery added, “One of the dates is with your neighbor.”

Avery watched Chloe’s reflection in the mirror as her mouth dropped open. “You’ll be telling him to move his parties to other locations, correct?”

“Oh, they don’t keep you up,” Avery laughed. “You don’t like them because they make you feel old.”

“You nailed that one, but I do go out with friends once in awhile, believe it or not.” Chloe watched as Avery finished with the curling iron and then brushed the curls to a soft wave.

“You like the hotter iron?” Chloe asked. “Told you it would work better. Salon grade. Not cheap.”

“Yes, thanks. Do you want me to put it back in your bathroom when I’m done?”

“No, you keep it.”

Avery noticed the look in Chloe’s eyes, a sort of longing, and realized how serious she’d been when she’d said it was fun to pretend Avery was her own daughter. Avery had a feeling it was more than just fun. She also had a feeling Chloe had gone and bought the iron just for her. No way did she use it on her mop of virgin hair.

“Actually,” Chloe said gently, “you missed a spot. Let me?”

Avery was pretty sure she hadn’t missed a spot, but she handed Chloe the iron anyway and watched as she clamped a random lock of hair inside it. Rolling the hair up, Chloe blinked hard as if to ward off a fresh set of tears. Avery wanted to say something, but she guessed anything would be awkward at this point. She couldn’t imagine how much it must hurt Chloe to walk down the hallways of her own house with W’s pictures hung up everywhere. The constant reminder must be intense, but she was only doing it to herself. Then there was Avery. She looked more like Chloe than she looked like her mom. She was probably similar to how Chloe might imagine her own daughter would look if she had ever had one.

“Chloe,” Avery said in a gentle voice as Chloe released the hair and set the iron in the sink. “I really hate curling my hair. Do you think you could do it for me tomorrow before my date?”

Chloe looked at Avery’s reflection in the mirror, her somber expression pushed away by a sudden smile. “I’d love to.”

* * *

Kent arrived in a Jeep covered in two inches of dried mud. The only clean spots on the entire vehicle were the headlights and the windshield. Looking him up and down, Avery noticed his worn-out khaki pants and faded button-down shirt. It wasn’t tucked in, and she had to admit it looked good that way. When she had thought he was Jordan, she had lumped this sort of outfit into the same thing Jordan wore
—
nice, dressy clothes. But now that she had seen Kent’s obvious love for the outdoors, she doubted she’d find him in a suit anytime soon.

The sun was setting and it cast a pleasant pinkish glow across his skin. How had she ever thought he looked like Jordan? He had completely different hair, she realized. It was longer on the top, and even a little wavy. Jordan’s was short, more spikey and styled.