If
Authors: Nina G. Jones
IF
Copyright © 2015 Nina G. Jones
All rights reserved.
Interior Design and Formatting by:
Christine Borgford,
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Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products, bands, and/or restaurants referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
Dear reader,
I think I did more research for
If
than I have for any other novel I have done thus far. I wanted to really understand the conditions one of my characters must deal with on a daily basis. Already having a degree in Psychology, I did have a basic understanding, but I still did my due diligence and cracked open many books, listened to interviews, etc.
That being said, this is a work of
fiction
, and while the descriptions are in the realm of possibility, they are not meant to diagnose, treat, or reflect any one person’s real life experience. Descriptions and experiences are described with storytelling and dramatic effect in mind first and foremost.
However, I ultimately had the idea to write this book to bring to light the silent pain that many people suffer from illnesses that cannot be seen with the eyes. Mental Illness is not an easy topic to talk about, but the more we acknowledge it, the more we can work to combat the stigma that prevents people from reaching out for help, and the easier it will be for friends and family to see the signs.
I also want to be clear: this is
not
Erotica, nor is it a dark book. It’s New Adult/Contemporary Romance. When I am writing under “N.G.” instead of “Nina” that means no X-rated sexy times.
Alright, I think that’s all I’ve got. I hope you love my two artistic souls as much as I did!
Sincerely,
N.G. Jones
(Nina G. Jones)
IF. I ALWAYS
hated that word. It was only used to suggest the things that would never be, to describe the possibilities that I wouldn’t achieve.
If you didn’t have those scars on your face . . .
you could have been a model
you’d have a boyfriend by now
boys would the kids in school wouldn’t have made fun of you
you’d get more auditions
What good is that word to me? What’s the point of reminding me of the things I would never experience? The life I would never have?
“If” is unfulfilled potential. It’s dreams that didn’t come true. And nothing scared me more than that. I guess that’s why I decided to risk everything to become a professional dancer. I knew I had potential and I wouldn’t let fear or judgment get in the way of its fulfillment. On the outside, it might have looked foolish; a girl as young as I was dropping out of college, leaving Madison, Wisconsin, and venturing out on her own to LA. A girl with a damaged face pursuing a career in an industry that relied on physical appeal. But I wasn’t a fool; I worked during my first year and a half of college to save money, I had fifteen years of dance training under my belt, and I had a fearlessness that only comes with living your entire life with a facial disfigurement.
I knew I could be great. I believe my parents thought so too, but we had very different ideas about my potential. They wanted me to finish college, climb corporate mountains, to have that piece of paper validating the dollars they spent on my education. But to me, that would have left me with one huge “If.”
What if I went out there and gave it my best shot?
I already lived with so many
what ifs,
and this was one I wasn’t going to add to the list.
My dad nicknamed me Bird, and I guess he had a premonition, because I flew from the nest far earlier than he had hoped. And, just like a bird, there’s always the risk of plummeting to the ground with that first lonely step out into the world. But without taking that risk, how could I ever hope to soar?
