Identity (20 page)

Read Identity Online

Authors: Nat Burns

Tags: #Lesbian

BOOK: Identity
11.87Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

“Tom, call me Tom,” he called after them, “and make sure y’all make some of that sweet potato casserole, with the marshmallows on top.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

 

 

Later, at the large, fluorescently lit grocery store in Fairhope, Shay playfully climbed onto the front rail of Liza’s metal grocery cart and chattered nonstop as she and Liza searched for Thanksgiving fixings. The basket already held a huge turkey, a ham, a large bag of fresh cranberries, salted butter and assorted miscellaneous items, and the two of them were arguing about whether to use prepackaged stuffing or make their own from fresh bread crumbs as they traveled at a good clip down the milk aisle. As they rounded a corner, their cart was broadsided by another, creating a huge clang. Shay went tumbling off the cart, sprawling onto the vinyl floor. Terrified, Liza stood frozen, mouth agape. To add to her astonishment, she saw that Kim was pushing the other cart with Rosemary trailing behind. They seemed to be as much in shock as she was, but all three women quickly came to their senses and converged on Shay to help her regain her feet.

Liza pressed and tested all Shay’s long bones with frantic hands. “Oh, Shay, are you okay? I am so sorry. I was going way too fast.”

“And I wasn’t even looking,” Kim said quickly. “Please tell us you’re okay.”

Shay’s head was bowed, her unbound red hair stretched taut across her face where it was caught in the collar of her blouse. Liza moved to embrace her so she could comfort her more completely. “Please don’t cry. Where are you hurt? Ro, call an ambulance.”

Rosemary moved closer and took each of Shay’s arms in turn to check for injury as Liza pushed the hair back from Shay’s face. It was then that they realized the woman’s shoulders were shaking from silent laughter, not injury. Tears were spilling but with amusement, not pain. Liza breathed a huge sigh of relief as Shay’s laughter finally sounded.

“Did you guys see that?” Shay crowed. “If I’d had wings, I could have flown.”

Rosemary laughed, relieved. “I bet you slid twenty feet,” she offered.

Kim took a deep breath. “Are you sure nothing’s hurt, sprained, broken?”

Liza was still examining Shay, turning her around and holding her so she could brush dust from her jeans, oblivious to the woman’s struggles for freedom.

“Okay, El, okay! Leggo. I’m fine, really,” she said as she extricated herself.

“Do you think we should take her over to the hospital and let them have a look at her?” Liza asked Rosemary, her voice earnest and worried.

“Oh no, I’m hungry and you promised me lunch,” Shay replied before Rosemary could respond.

“But hon, what if...” Liza began.

“Hungry,” Shay interjected firmly.

“But...”

“Hungry.”

Rosemary laughed at Shay’s determination. “Well, lunch it is. Ya’ ll want to go over next door to the deli and have subs? They’re really good there.”

“Yes, yes,” Shay said excitedly.

Kim was watching Shay, marveling at how changed she seemed to be. “Okay, let’s finish up and meet up front in, say,” she looked at her watch, “fifteen minutes?”

Once they were settled in the restaurant with cold iced teas before each of them, Kim looked at Shay. “Well, something sure has you happy these days,” she said bluntly.

“Kim! Behave,” Rosemary hissed. “Excuse her, Shay, she’s a Yankee and has no home training.”

“I’m just saying she’s not looking over her shoulder all the time like she used to. That’s all.”

Liza laughed and mimed suggestively, “Well, it’s having me in her life, of course. That’s probably what has perked her up.”

Shay looked at Liza with a pained expression, then laughed.

She turned to Kim. “I’m glad you noticed. That means it’s working.”

Liza shifted so she could see Shay more clearly. “Working? What’s working?”

Shay sipped iced tea through a straw and calmly regarded her lover. “My decision.”

Kim exploded after a lengthy silence. “Shay, I’m going to wring your neck if you don’t tell us what the devil you’re talking about.”

Shay appeared chastened. “I’m sorry, I’m not really trying to be coy.”

“Yes, you are,” teased Rosemary. “Just admit it.”

“It’s because she knows how cute she is doing it,” offered Liza.

Kim pointedly cleared her throat, effectively ending the foolishness.

Shay took a deep breath and began to tell the story of her relationship with Pepper at length, pausing only while the sandwiches were delivered.

“Anyway, the therapy with poor Dr. Frye was really helpful, but after Dee told me the other night that Pepper had been released, I felt as though something snapped. All the next day, even while Dee and Greg were leaving, I kept hearing Dr. Frye’s words. Like she was a ghost talking in my ear. She always said it was up to me whether or not I lived a fearful life. That I could always choose whether to be afraid.”

“Well,” Kim began, then paused to chew and swallow, “I agree. But don’t negate visceral fear, that gut-level fear that we all have that keeps us safe.”

Shay waved one hand. “I don’t even have to think about that, just trust my body to do what is necessary. When Liza shook me the other night...” She saw their expressions and grinned. “Yes, she did, right there in front of Dee and Greg. She was so butch.”

Rosemary looked at Liza, eyes wide. She’d never known her friend to be violent in any way. Liza stared calmly in return.

“Anyway, when she shook me, she said that the two of us would never fully be a couple with Pepper always in the room between us. I realized that was true.” She took Liza’s hand and squeezed it.

“That next morning I woke happier than I had been in years. Loving Liza is more important than the worst-case scenarios that I’d been living my daily life by.”

“So, what? You’re not afraid at all anymore?” Kim frowned as she added more mustard to her sandwich.

Shay hastened to assure her differently. “No, I am, I mean, of course. Pepper could be here in town trying to find me. I know I still need to be extremely careful. I gotta tell you though, there were a lot of days I was suicidal because of my fear. It’s not fair to make someone, anyone, deal with that.”

She paused to gaze lovingly at Liza and squeeze her hand one more time before letting go and lifting her sandwich.

Rosemary spoke up, adding sensibly. “It’s not fair to you either. You deserve more, a chance at a good life.”

“Especially after what she did to you,” Kim finished.

Chewing, Shay nodded in agreement. “I do. I will. Finding Liza has been a gift. She even tolerates my Irish temper without flinching too much.”

Rosemary laughed. “I’ve known her twenty years and have yet to see her really lose her cool. And there’s been lots of opportunities, let me tell you. She’s tolerated a lot more than I ever could.”

“I did get a little testy the day Shay and I met, though,” Liza replied. “She was a total, well, you know.” She winked and eyed Shay merrily.

Shay lifted her eyebrows but didn’t respond, too busy eating to comment.

Kim balled up her napkin and sat back, hands folded on her stomach. “So what does Pepper look like? We’ll help watch out for her and will let you know right away if we see her.”

Liza answered for Shay. “She’s small, Shay says, like her. She has a super short haircut, like a buzz cut, that she bleaches blond, and she has really bright blue eyes. Kind of ballsy too, from the picture I saw of her.”

“She has an accent, British. And a nice smile when she wants to and can charm the pants right off you,” added Shay around a mouthful. “I’ve seen her smooth talk lots of women and she always gets her way.”

“Sounds like a winner,” Rosemary commented dryly. “I can’t believe you got messed up with her.”

Shay shrugged. “Biggest regret of my life.”

After another thirty minutes of chatting, the four women reluctantly rose to leave. Liza reacted with alarm when Shay cried out and clutched her back. “Oh, no. See? I told you we should have had you checked out.”

Shay laid one hand on Liza’s shoulder and frowned. “Can’t a girl be sore, El? You just threw me twenty feet across a tile floor and you expect me to...”

“What do you mean, I threw you! I would never...” Liza paused when she saw Shay’s teasing smile. “That’s it. You’re going straight to my house and right to bed.”

Rosemary and Kim stood to one side, watching the two with some amusement.

“That’s what you think,” Shay argued. “We have a powerful lot of cooking to do.”

“We? I don’t think so, you’re going to rest. Maybe you can offer advice but that’s it. I don’t want you so much as lifting a can of peas.”

Shay’s face was growing red and Kim quickly interrupted. “So, Liza, what time is dinner?”

“We’ll eat early enough so you can make it back in time to serve at the mission,” she assured her. “Come about one.”

“Is everyone coming this year?” Ro asked.

“Mindy and Woodpecker can’t, but
Mémé
is coming and Steve’s family so it’ll be a full house.”

Ro studied Shay. “Girl, you have no idea what you’re in for. Thanksgiving at the Hughes house is a circus.”

“And a ton of fun,” Kim added. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Omigosh,” Liza cried suddenly. “I forgot to call
Mémé
. I need to pick her up on the way home.”

Laughing Ro and Kim passed out farewell hugs and crawled into their small hybrid car. They beeped once gaily as they pulled out of the parking lot.

“Such cool women,” Shay commented as Liza dug her cell phone out of her jeans pocket.

“That they are,” Liza agreed as she flipped open the phone. “Let me call
Mémé
and we’ll be on our way.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

 

 

After stopping by Shay’s house so they could pick up an overnight bag, including the bottle of over-the-counter pain reliever that Liza knew Shay would need after her fall, Liza pulled up in front of the huge mansion at Placide’s Place. The large drive formed a sweeping curve just south of Shay’s house. Shay realized suddenly that the woman on the veranda was Liza’s grandmother.

“Duh,” she said aloud.

Liza looked at her in alarm. “Are you okay?” Her face screwed into a moue of sympathy. “Hurting?”

“I am so stupid. I just realized that this is where your grandmother lives. I can’t believe I didn’t put two and two together, especially after you knew my property so well. You even said she lived close to me.”

Liza laughed and came around to help Shay from the truck. “Well, it’s not like you’ve had anything else to think about.”

Shay agreed and followed Liza up the wide front steps and into a cool wood-paneled foyer. “Where you at,
Mémé
?” she called gently.

Shay studied the elegant, historic home as she followed Liza slowly through the narrow rooms. Spotlessly clean and pleasingly furnished, the home, which could easily have been heavy and daunting, was comfortable and welcoming. They stepped into a large, rustic kitchen, then passed through a long hallway that opened into a huge solarium filled with fragrant greenery; some, by their thick, twisted branches, appeared old and well established. Even the wooden-framed panes of glass were ancient, bearing hand warping and numerous imperfections.

“She must be upstairs getting ready,” Liza mused. Within seconds, they had passed through several maze-like rooms and mounted a large, polished wood staircase. Liza held Shay’s elbow, helping her along.

“Are you sure this is okay?” Shay whispered. “She won’t get mad at us for coming in this way, will she?”

Liza laughed at Shay’s worry. “You wait. You’ll meet her soon, and then you tell me.”

At the top of the staircase, Shay spied a second stairway that obviously led to the top veranda. She paused and Liza turned to her.

“You want to go up there?” Liza offered. “It’s quite a view.”

Shay nodded and Liza took her arm. Moments later, they were standing outside a heavy metal-bound pine door and breathing in a freshened breeze and a breathtaking vista.

“Oh, my heavens,” Shay whispered.

Liza grinned like a kid. “Awesome, isn’t it? I used to spend a lot of time up here.”

“This is incredible. I bet you can see all the way to Florida from here.”

Liza agreed. “I think so. Really. And look over here. You can see your place.”

Shay moved to the north side. Her house looked like a quaint little cottage from this height. Shay took a moment to judge the property spatially. “Hey, El, what do you think about putting a dog lot right there?”

She pointed to a mostly cleared expanse just outside and downhill from the back stoop.

Liza stepped closer. “You mean along that tree line? To train?”

“And board. Wouldn’t it be cool to run a kennel to board dogs while people travel? You could offer grooming and training services too.”

Liza watched Shay, her eyes fond. “
You
could
,
you mean. I think that would be a great idea, Shay.”

Shay lifted her eyes to Liza and her heart ached from the love she saw there. The pride too. She felt so good in that moment, so complete. She lifted her lips to Liza’s in a gentle kiss.

“Thank you for believing in me,” she whispered against Liza’s lips.

“Mmm,” Liza pulled her into a gentle embrace. No passion this time, just a loving comfort. Both women sighed with pleasure.

“Okay,” Shay said, pulling away. “Decision made. Now, we need to get the groceries home before they spoil in this heat.”

“Party pooper,” Liza teased.

They found
Mémé
in her bedroom by following the pervasive fragrance of Heavensent perfume. Entering the huge salon, Shay felt a pang of loss for all the homes that no longer had luxurious sitting rooms attached to their master bedrooms. She touched one of the buff silk Queen Anne chairs and noted the matching footstool. How lovely to sit here in the evenings watching the sunset through the huge west-facing bay window.

“Wow, someone sure smells good,” Liza said, approaching the open bathroom door.

A stream of rapid French, spoken like a true native, emerged through the open door.

Other books

The Story of My Assassins by Tarun J. Tejpal
The Clockwork Three by Matthew J. Kirby
Deception Point by Dan Brown
Goodbye Without Leaving by Laurie Colwin
Submarine! by Edward L. Beach
Poor Butterfly by Stuart M. Kaminsky
Dirt Music by Tim Winton
My Lord Rogue by Katherine Bone