Ice (8 page)

“I don’t taste as good as a seal.”

“You do not have enough blubber,” he agreed.

She felt the mattress shift as he settled into his pillows. Flat on her back, she lay as rigid as ice.

“Don’t snore.”

“Your wish is my command.”

She snorted. “Cute.”

“Good night, Cassie.”

“Night.” Clutching the sheets to her chin, she listened to him breathe. It sounded like a gentle wave.

Gradually, his breathing slowed. Could he be going to sleep? She prodded him. “You awake?”

“I am now.” He rolled over, and she felt the mattress dip down toward him. He was facing her, she guessed. Her skin felt hyperaware. At least a thirteen-foot polar bear did not make a thirteen-foot man, she told herself. He was, at most, seven feet tall.

“Talk to me,” she said. “Tell me a story.”

“As you wish,” he said. “Once upon a time, there was a little wallaby . . .” She smiled. “Wallaby?”

“Yes, wallaby. And this wallaby lived . . .”

* * * * *

She was smothering in sheets. Cassie kicked. Her foot contacted something solid. She heard a grunt.

Bleary, she blinked awake. Walls did not grunt. “Bear, that you?”

“Hmm.”

She kicked harder.

“Ow!”

Served him right. He was sleeping in the middle of the bed. She yanked the covers back and curled with them on the pillows.

“Thief,” he said. He tugged on the sheets.

She grunted at him.

“Was I snoring?” he asked.

“You don’t snore,” she told him. It was a definite plus.

“You do,” he said. “It is like a cat purring.”

She kicked the covers away. “Too hot,” she said. “Is it morning?” Crawling out of bed, she found her flashlight. She turned it on.

She saw a sudden flurry of sheets. Bear rolled off the bed in a tangle of white. “Stop the light!” he said.

Cassie pointed the flashlight at the white lump. “Hey, I’m the one who hates mornings,” she said lightly, but he continued to conceal himself. “Bear? What’s wrong?”

“You cannot see me.”

She’d never seen him, she realized. The two times he’d transformed—last night and her first night here—she hadn’t seen him. With the flashlight, Cassie climbed over the bed. He was buried on the floor under the covers. Not an inch of skin was visible. “Come on,” she said. “I promise I won’t laugh.”

“You cannot!” There was a blur of sheets as he stood up. He looked like he was wearing a bad ghost costume. He knocked the flashlight out of her hands. It rolled under the bed. “You must never see my human face,” he said. “Promise me you will not try.”

“Why not?”

“Promise me.”

He sounded serious, even desperate. She didn’t think she’d ever heard that in his voice before. “You certainly have your quirks,” Cassie said lightly. “Turning into a giant bear wasn’t unique enough?” He didn’t laugh.

Bear begged her, “Please, beloved. If you care about me at all, do not look.” He hadn’t called her “beloved” since the day they’d met.

She dangled over the bed and retrieved the flashlight. She switched it off, and the room plunged into darkness again. “Happy now?” she said, but her voice shook. His pleading had unnerved her. She felt as if she had violated some sacred taboo. But she hadn’t meant any harm. All she’d wanted to do was look at him.

Bear said nothing.

She waited another second. “Bear? Are you all right?”

“I must go,” he said.

He couldn’t be that angry. “I didn’t . . . ,” she began.

“There is a bear being born,” he said. “I am needed.”

“Now?” It wasn’t birth season yet. The bear cub was premature. “You . . . feel it?” He’d told her about this once, how munaqsri could sense an imminent birth or death. They could also, he’d said, summon each other, but she’d never seen him do that. “Can I come with you?”

“It is a munaqsri duty.”

She felt a rush of air, and then she heard the door open. She called after him, “See you at breakfast?”

The door slammed. She hugged her shoulders as the room chilled.

* * * * *

Sometime the following night, Bear slid into bed. Automatically, Cassie curled against his warmth.

She didn’t think about how natural it felt to do so. She murmured, “Hello.” He said nothing, but buried his face in her hair.

Gradually waking, she remembered she was annoyed with him. He had left her alone. Her whole day had been turned upside down. She’d resorted to eating dried fruits and nuts from her pack. She couldn’t work the table without him. Worse, she’d been bored for the first time ever here. It reminded her of blizzards in the station: nothing to do, nowhere to go.

His breathing sounded uneven, choked. She frowned and reached to touch his face. “Are you all right?” she asked. “Are you sick?”

His cheek was damp under her fingers. She snatched her hand back as if it had burned. “Bear, what’s wrong?”

“I was late,” he said. His voice shook. “It was far. I was too late.”

“What do you mean ‘too late’?” She wished she could see him. She peered into the darkness as if she could pierce it. “What happened?”

“I should have been patrolling the ice. If I had been nearby, I could have given that cub a soul in time. If I had been an hour closer, it would have all been well. I was miles late.”

“Late?” She tried to understand. He’d missed the birth?

“The cub was stillborn,” he said. “No soul, no life.”

She could hear the tears in his voice. Did he want her to comfort him? Hesitantly, she put her arms around him. “It’s all right,” she said. “I’m here.” She held him close.

NINE

Latitude 91° 00’ 00” N

Longitude indeterminate

Altitude 15 ft.

THROUGH THE DARK DAYS OF WINTER, Bear “patrolled” the ice, waiting to feel the summons of a birth, while Cassie waited alone in the castle and grew more and more restless. In his absence, she prowled the topiary gardens under the perpetually starlit sky. By winter solstice, she knew them by heart.

Carved owls stared down at her with glassy eyes reflecting a thousand stars. It was as silent as a museum. She could hear the crunch of ice under her mukluks. It sounded like firecrackers. She had a great urge to run through the gardens with her arms stretched wide, shattering all the trees in her path—but she didn’t. Instead, her feet took her through the maze of translucent hedges to the center of the garden. Rosebushes ringed a single sculpture, the newest.

It was her: her long hair, her high cheekbones, her bony elbows, her height. It is the heart of the garden, Bear had told her after he’d finished carving it.

She studied the statue. The ice hair looked blown by wind. Stray pieces curved upward, twisted together. It was a perfect likeness, down to the short lashes on her eyes and the short nails on her hands. Her twin grinned upward, as if she were laughing at the castle spires, or higher at the star-choked sky. What am I still doing here? Cassie wondered. I should be on a snowmobile, not a pedestal.

Who was tracking bears now? Dad? Owen? Scott would be taking bets on the number of cubs being born. Jeremy was probably stir-crazy by now.

And what about her mother? Cassie couldn’t imagine what she was doing. All she could picture was her mother’s image from photos she’d seen, but even that memory lacked details, such as the color of her eyes.

Cassie snapped a perfect stem. The ice rose fell into her hands. Absently, she twirled it. Petals caught the moonlight, and tiny moon rainbows flickered in their curves. She put the rose behind her ear.

She’d never meant for this to become permanent. She was supposed to be an Arctic researcher, not the Polar Bear Queen. What had happened to all her plans? Didn’t she care about them anymore?

Didn’t she care about her mother? Or her father? Or Gram? Or Max or Owen? When had she stopped thinking about them?

Cassie turned away and pushed past the bushes. Ice tinkled like a thousand bells. She halted in front of an ice apple tree. Grabbing hold of the branches, she clambered up the tree. The ice creaked under her weight, and the rose fell from her ear and shattered.

From the top, she could see out onto the Arctic. Low and fat, the moon danced over the translucent ridges. Wind stirred stray snow. She watched drifts form and dissipate, deep blue in the polar night.

Silhouetted, Bear came over the lip of the ridges. He was majestic on the ice. She watched him take great strides across the floes. His fur rippled in the moonlight. He almost glowed.

He galloped to the castle and disappeared inside. Finally, he was home. She swung down from the tree and landed with a crunch on the ice. She followed him to the banquet hall. He was waiting for her at the table. Melting frost dripped from his fur.

Cassie flopped down onto her throne. “What’s the news from the ice?”

“It is icy,” he said solemnly.

Cassie picked up a frozen apple. “Perfect day here,” she said. She tossed the apple up and caught it.

“But then, it always is.” She threw it higher, and caught it. “Monday: perfect.” She tossed it.

“Tuesday: perfect.” Caught it. “Wednesday: perfect.” Tossed it. “Thursday.” Caught it. “Friday. What day is today?”

“I do not track human days.” He cocked his head at her. “Are you all right?” She tossed the apple back into its bowl. “Perfect.”

“You are not happy,” he said.

“Yes, I am,” she said irritably. She was queen of the ice. She was the Polar Bear’s wife. Of course she was perfectly happy, wandering around alone in an ice castle every dark day. Maybe if she could convince Bear to take her with him . . . But they’d had that discussion. Alone, he could travel unseen.

With her, he ran the risk of detection. And besides, she’d serve no more purpose out there on the ice than she did here. She couldn’t help him be a munaqsri.

“Cassie, talk to me.”

“I don’t know what color my mother’s eyes are,” she said.

“Green,” he said. “Like yours.”

“All better.” She dared him to contradict her. Instead, he growled at the table. The table shot up a stem. It blossomed into a glass. Red wine filled it. Another bit of table folded up into a plate. Steam rose from it as her dinner grew. It was her favorite dish: chicken soaked in a white wine sauce. She stirred it with her fork. He treated her like a queen. How could she think about leaving?

The thought stopped her. Was she thinking about leaving? Truly leaving, as in never coming back, never seeing Bear again, not being his Polar Bear Queen?

Bear summoned a seal carcass and a dinner roll for himself. He held the carcass down with his paw and ripped upward with his teeth.

She didn’t want to leave. She didn’t want to never see him again. But did she want to stay? What about her life at the station? Why couldn’t she have both? “I could do research,” she offered.

Bear raised his head. Seal blood stained his muzzle a brilliant red. It looked like a child had smeared lipstick on him. “You cannot,” he said.

She scowled at the red stains. “Can’t you eat without dripping?”

“I have a large head.”

“You’re a slob.”

“All polar bears eat this way.”

“You’re making me lose my appetite.” Grabbing her linen napkin, she marched to Bear.

“I am sorry,” he said contritely. She wiped the gore from his chin and then went back to her seat.

With her watching, he snipped the blubber delicately with his incisors. He let the blood drip onto the floor before gulping the fat whole. “Better,” Cassie said. “You know if I had work to do, I wouldn’t obsess over your table manners. Plenty of research topics out there. You could tell me how polar bears navigate so effectively on the changing ice, or I could have the final word on whether polar bears are evolving into sea mammals.” She could be a station staffer on sabbatical, sort of. She’d already planned to do her college degree remotely. This would simply be more remote than anyone knew.

Gently, Bear said, “You cannot be a human scientist here. No one would believe you. What would you tell them? Your source is a talking bear? You live in an ice castle and feel no cold?” Cassie swirled the sauce. She watched seal blood pool on the ice and thought about her future. Her path had always seemed so certain before. But she’d given it up by staying here, and she hadn’t even noticed. No wonder she felt so restless. She’d abandoned her future and replaced it with what?

Gourmet dinners and pretty sculptures? She had no purpose here.

The table absorbed the blood, and the red vanished as if down a drain. She looked at her chicken.

“Have you ever seen a polar bear in a cage?” she asked. “It paces. Back and forth. All day long: back and forth. It wears a rut in the floor. It doesn’t stop to eat. It doesn’t stop to sleep. It simply paces until it wastes away and dies.”

“You are unhappy?”

Unable to answer that, she looked up at him. “I want to go home,” she said.

* * * * *