Ice (16 page)

“Wilson Creek won’t be the same without a Helton around, even if just part-time.”

“Wilson Creek will survive,” she argued.

Gabriel sighed. “I guess so, but how am I supposed to ask you out whenever I come back to visit if you’re in Portland instead of here?”

She didn’t know what shocked her most, that he’d
consider asking her out, or that he knew details of her current living situation. “How do you know I live in Portland?”

He shrugged broad shoulders. “I must’ve heard someone mention it. Mom, probably. Which reminds me, you’re invited to stay at the house until the roads are clear.”

“That’s very nice,” she said, knowing without a doubt that the invitation had been Valerie McQueen’s idea.

She turned toward the fire, finding Gabriel’s solemn face somehow disturbing, and her gaze fell on the drugs and needles sitting on the coffee table. She all but jumped from the couch, reaching for the plastic bags, intending to toss everything into the fire. Gabriel grabbed her hand before she could touch anything.

“Evidence,” he said simply. “Leave everything right where it is.”

She turned on him, irrationally angry. “I’m supposed to leave this crap sitting on my mother’s coffee table all night?”

“Yes.”

“That’s ridiculous. It’s … it’s obscene! If Niki had died in the kitchen, would you have just left her there all night?”

“Yep. I’m a cop, honey—a military cop, but still a cop. You don’t disturb a scene until the investigation is finished.”

It was good to feel something besides fear, so she
fully embraced her annoyance. “So Niki and Darwin are both dead, and yet somehow they’re still in charge.”

Gabriel snorted, completely unflustered. “No,
I’m
in charge, and my dad will have my hide and yours if I fuck around with the evidence.”

“So I have to sit here and look at
this
all night.” She pointed to the coffee table, silently thanking her lucky stars that Niki had had the grace to die outside. If the body was in the kitchen, under her roof, she’d be trekking down the mountain tonight, ice or no ice.

Gabriel got to his feet. She expected him to take her in his arms again, but he didn’t. He placed two steady hands on her shoulders and looked her directly in the eye. “I’m going upstairs to collect a sheet to cover the coffee table and a couple of blankets and pillows for us. You’re going to pick out some dry clothes and get dressed. Then I’m going to heat up some soup …”

“I’m not going back in that kitchen …” Lolly said forcefully.

“… and bring a couple of bowls in here,” he continued without pausing, “so we can get something hot into our bellies. We’ll save the breakfast bars for the trip down the mountain.”

“How can you be so calm?” she asked, annoyed and grateful and mad at herself because a part of her was still scared.

“What choice do I have?” he responded.

Lolly felt a wave of release wash through her.
Naturally, he was right. If they both panicked they’d simply create yet another disaster, and God knows she’d had enough disaster for one night.

“I’ll get dressed,” she said in a more controlled voice. “You do what you have to do.”

Gabriel leaned in then, and did what he’d neglected to do earlier. He kissed her. This wasn’t a “let’s get busy” kiss, it was a reassuring, warm, very pleasant connection that served to remind her that she was not alone, and at the same time very effectively took her mind off the night’s horrors—for a few precious seconds.

She felt the kiss in her gut. Her earlier panic, which had fluttered inside her as if it were a physical thing trying to escape, faded.

She could do this.
They
could do this.

The kiss didn’t last long enough, but it did the trick. She laid her hand on Gabriel’s cheek, felt the rough stubble there. “All right,” she said softly. “I’m okay now.”

She turned to the fireplace and its welcome flame, listened as Gabriel rushed up the stairs.

Realistically, this adventure was far from over. The walk into town tomorrow would be dangerous and difficult. But it wasn’t tomorrow yet, and tonight she was safe, warm, and sheltered.

She felt a bit Scarlett O’Hara-ish. She’d deal with tomorrow when it arrived.

Gabriel leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. Chicken noodle soup out of a can had never tasted so good. The simple pleasure of not being out in the cold, of having a fire, of knowing he and Lolly were safe for the night—it was a fine feeling, one to be treasured even if just for a while.

The gas fireplace didn’t crackle like a wood-burning stove, but he didn’t have to worry about feeding it logs so that was a fair tradeoff. Lolly didn’t know exactly how much propane was left in the tank, but she did tell him it hadn’t been serviced for a while. She’d estimated that there would be enough for her stay, so they should be good for the night. A few hours more, that was all they needed.

“Tell me about your son.” Lolly leaned against him,
as she had since finishing her soup. Her body was finally warm—and clothed. The shared body heat was kind of a cliché, he supposed, but it was nice. With a dead meth freak on the back porch and another in the woods, and an arduous walk ahead of them,
nice
was a good thing. He might as well enjoy it while he could.

“What do you want to know?”

“Does he look like you or like his mother? Is he into baseball or art or music? Is he loud or quiet?” Her head rested comfortably against his shoulder. “Is it hard for you, having him live so far away?” This last question was delivered with a hesitation in her voice, as if she wasn’t certain it was a question that should be asked.

Gabriel never minded talking about Sam. There were times when he’d realized that he’d said too much, that he was boring whoever was listening—though they were usually too polite to say so. Since she’d asked, he was glad to answer. “Sam looks like me, but he has Mariane’s eyes. He’s not big for his age but he’s not too small, either. He’s into baseball, definitely, and basketball. Believe it or not, he’s also a whiz at math. Well, a whiz for a seven-year-old. I’m not sure where he got that from, since math was not my best subject in school, and it drove Mariane nuts to have to balance the checkbook.” It was strange to talk about his late wife without the usual rush of grief. Strange, but right. “He’s definitely not quiet. Have you ever spent any significant time with a seven-year-old?”

“No,” she said softly.

“Well, they’re bundles of energy, and Sam is no exception. He’s either going full speed ahead or he’s asleep.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “And having him live so far away is more than hard, it’s torture.” He found himself explaining how Mariane’s parents had stepped up to help after her death, how his father-in-law had been transferred to Texas, and though he’d tried to find another job, one that would keep him and his wife near to their grandson, in the end he’d had no choice but to move. It was that or be unemployed. Gabriel told Lolly how he’d tried to make the single dad thing work, something he’d never really talked about before in any but the simplest way, not even with his own parents.

“Babysitters, neighbors, Mariane’s friends, my friends’ wives … everyone did what they could to help, but in the end my schedule was so erratic it became a problem. Sam had no continuity. He never knew where he’d be, who would keep him when I was working night shift or was called away suddenly. Here he has stability. He knows where he’s going to sleep at night.”

“It’s a high price to pay,” Lolly said. “For both of you.”

He’d been telling himself the situation was temporary, that he’d find a nanny he could afford so his son could be home at night, but with every week that passed there was a growing fear that he’d never be
able to make the proper arrangements. He was a sergeant in the army, and though he made a decent living, he didn’t make enough to pay someone twenty grand a year, which was the bare minimum for fulltime child care.

He didn’t want his son to grow up with an absent father who visited when he could, but in his darkest moments he didn’t see how he could avoid that, at least right now. Sam’s grandparents would effectively become his parents, and his father would be an afterthought, an occasional visitor who disrupted the everyday routine. Lolly was right; the sacrifice was a high price to pay for stability.

“We’ll make it work,” he said. “Whatever’s best for Sam, that’s what I’ll do.” He was anxious to change the subject. “What about you? Married, engaged, divorced …”

“None of the above. I do date, on occasion, but there hasn’t been anything serious in a long while.”

“Why not?” She was pretty, smart, and if what had happened in the shower was any indication, a wildcat in the sack. She had taken him by surprise, but then just about everything she’d done since he’d climbed that rickety ladder a few hours ago had surprised him. Whoever would have thought that he’d come to admire Lolly Helton? She had been out of her element from the get-go, but she had toughed it out, and even come to his aid during both of his battles with Darwin and Niki. Her inner strength, especially concerning
Niki, brought up a deep sense of respect. That couldn’t have been easy for her, but she’d done what had to be done, and she hadn’t collapsed afterward.

He wasn’t about to admit that he’d expected less of her though, because the one thing he didn’t want to do was hurt her feelings or get on her bad side. To his astonishment, he liked her too damn much, liked everything he’d learned about her tonight.

“Maybe I’m too picky.” Her answer brought his attention back to the question he’d asked. She sighed. “Maybe I’m unlucky. I don’t know. The simple answer is, it’s just never happened for me. Love, that is,” she said more softly. “I have certain expectations and I don’t want to settle for just any halfway decent man because thirty crept up on me and desperation set in.”

He couldn’t see the Lolly he used to know or the woman he’d come to know tonight being desperate to land a man. She’d survived a tough situation without falling apart, and while she leaned on him—literally and figuratively—she was far from being fragile and needy.

And he’d forever remember the image of her rushing after Niki, coming to his defense even though she was scared half out of her wits—and naked, to boot.

“What about you?” she asked, as if an idea had just occurred to her. “Has there been anyone since your wife died?” He could hear the hint of discomfort in her voice, as she wondered if she’d had sex with a man who was committed to another.

“No.”

He was certain Lolly didn’t expect that her relief would be so evident to him, but her sigh and the way her body relaxed told it all. So, she was pretty, smart, not desperate, and she had morals. Otherwise the thought that she might’ve had impulsive sex with a man who was involved with another woman wouldn’t have bothered her at all.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” she asked. “About asking me out if you came home on leave and I was around.”

“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t. Why? Would you say yes?”

“Maybe. But only if you promised that our second date would be less exciting than the first.”

He laughed, surprising her and himself. This wasn’t a night for laughter—or hadn’t been until now. “This is a date?”

“You saw me naked and you fed me dinner.” There was a touch of humor in her voice. “Sounds like a bang-up date to me.”

Gabriel had wondered a time or two what his first date after Mariane’s death would be like, if he ever found the right woman—and the courage to move forward. He’d sure as hell never pictured anything like this, never by any stretch of the imagination thought it might be Lolly Helton, of all people, who for the first time in three years made him feel both physical and emotional attraction. He wanted to have sex with her again, he wanted to share mundane
things with her, he wanted to find out what made her laugh, what made her cry, what colors she liked, her favorite flower. Lolly made him feel as if there might be a real life out there again, a life both full and ordinary. He’d had that with Mariane, and her sudden death had left him so empty that only having Sam had given him the strength to go on.

He and Lolly had been through a very stressful few hours that made their sense of intimacy, their connection, far more intense than if they’d met again under normal circumstances. But would they have given each other a chance if the circumstances had been normal? Had it taken a crisis to make them see each other as they were now, rather than how they’d been fifteen years ago?

But the connection was definitely there, and all of a sudden he felt the promise of his future rather than the loss of his past. They’d have to go slow, he figured, give themselves as well as Sam time to adjust to everything, give themselves time to see if things really would work out between them, instead of rushing in and maybe making a mistake that would upset Sam’s world even more.

But they had time. He smiled, thinking about how much fun they’d have.

Lolly did her best to forget what had happened today, and she pushed her worry about tomorrow out of her head. The howling wind had stopped and icy rain no
longer pelted the windows. But the roads would still be coated with ice, and she still heard the occasional crack and crash of a falling tree or heavy limb. There was no telling what she and Gabriel would encounter after they walked out her door tomorrow, headed for Wilson Creek and safety.

At the moment she was happy to be right here, warm and in Gabriel’s loose but secure embrace.

As a teenager she’d had such a crush on him, and she’d been supremely annoyed with him for not returning, or even being aware of, her tender feelings. Looking back, she realized that there had been absolutely no reason for him to know what she’d been feeling. She hadn’t told him, or anyone else. She hadn’t even looked his way, unless he picked a fight with her and she responded. At fifteen, she hadn’t been so logical. Though to be honest, what fifteen-year-old was well acquainted with logic?

There was something very appealing about a man who talked with such evident love about his son, who sacrificed everything so that his child could have a secure and happy home. She worried less about tomorrow’s long walk to town than she would have otherwise, because she knew Gabriel would not only do everything in his power to get them there as soon as possible, he’d also be damn sure to get them there safely—if not for her, or for himself, then for Sam.