I Was Jane Austen's Best Friend (32 page)

‘It’s an honour to meet you, Miss Cooper. Would you favour me with the next dance?’

But this was the last dance! I couldn’t believe that Thomas would want me to be with someone else for the last dance of the evening. I looked at him and saw that the flush was still on his cheeks and his dark eyes were still hard. He hardly seemed to look at me, just bowed and took his leave as if we were almost strangers.

Lieutenant Price was a good-humoured, cheerful young man who seemed to want to earn his captain’s approval by paying me lots of compliments. Funnily enough, although I was worried about why Thomas had suddenly shot off like that, I found it quite easy to respond to him. I even practised flirting with my fan and saying, ‘Oh la, sir, you make me blush.’ It was all a game — like playing pontoon — and I thought that I could probably get used to doing this.

Lieutenant Price was full of praise for his captain when we had reached the end of the line and were marking time. He seemed to really worship Thomas. He told a story about how once when they were in action his captain had been prepared to sacrifice his own personal prize money of at least five hundred pounds when they had an opportunity of capturing a Spanish frigate because one man had gone overboard. Thomas had ordered the boat to be lowered, but while this was being done he himself had dived into the water and rescued the drowning man by the hair of his head and held him out of the water until the boat arrived to pick them both up.

‘He’s the bravest man in the world and the best captain! And do you know something, Miss Cooper? He’s the youngest captain in the whole British navy and yet middle-aged men are proud to serve under him!’

And this bravest man in the world, this youngest captain in the navy, this hero who was willing to sacrifice life and fortune for his men, this man handsome as a god, this kind, beautiful, exciting man had danced with me for almost the whole evening, I thought to myself as we went home in the hired coach.

But why did he suddenly leave?

If it were something to do with the ship, then surely Lieutenant Price would have told me about it. Goodness knows he talked enough about that ship.

Could it be that he thought I was too young, too silly, for him and he suddenly tired of me and handed me over to one of his junior officers?

I’m not going to think of it any more tonight or I won’t sleep. I’ll just think about that time when we sat under the palms and talked about the white sand of Barbados.

Sunday, 3 April 1791

When I woke up this morning I felt quite exhausted. I asked Jane to tell Frank that I was too tired for a riding lesson. Jane decided that she was too tired to do her piano practise so we both curled up on my bed and discussed the ball. I told her all my worries and fears about Thomas not dancing the last dance with me, but she brushed them aside. When I told her that Thomas had left the ballroom for a few minutes, she suggested that Lord Portsmouth probably sent for him to come to the card room to make a fourth at the whist table.

‘He couldn’t refuse — after all, he has been staying there at Hurstbourne Place as a guest for the last week or so. My father always says that the earl lives for his card games.’

I turned that around in my mind. It did seem to make sense.

‘Well, I won’t expect to see him this week as he is going to the Isle of Wight tomorrow to visit his uncle and his sister.’

Then I told Jane all about how he wanted me to meet them, and Jane got very excited about this. She told me that everyone was looking at us and talking about us and speculating on whether it would be a match. All three of the Bigg girls were certain that he would propose.

‘Shocking behaviour!’ Jane giggled. ‘Sitting out,
dancing with only one man, exposing yourself to the gossip of the county …’

‘Did my aunt say that?’ I asked the question anxiously, but Jane shook her head. ‘No, no, but never mind about Mama … Tell me, did he make an offer?’

I told her no, that he just spoke of my visiting his sister and his uncle, the admiral, and Jane nodded wisely, as if she were at least thirty years old.

‘That’s the first step towards making an offer,’ she said sagely.

‘But what if his uncle doesn’t like me?’

‘It doesn’t matter — he’s of independent means.’ Jane was always very sure of herself when it came to matters like that.

‘In any case …’ It was nice to have a best friend to talk things over with, I thought. My mind was full of worries, though I felt happier than I had ever felt before. For the first time, yesterday, I had tasted Champagne, and I felt as if the wine was still bubbling inside me. However, Jane’s question made me bite my nails anxiously. Would Thomas ask me to marry him? This would be every girl’s dream — that the man she loved would propose marriage. But perhaps it was just a dream. I got off the bed and walked over to the window.

‘What is troubling you, my dear Miss Cooper?’ enquired Jane. ‘Don’t you want to get married then? Perhaps you want to become a writer, to devote your life to your art. Is that it?’

I shook my head, laughing. Jane always managed to find something ridiculous to say.

‘Or an artist, a painter?’ Her eyebrows were raised.

‘No, I’d just like to be married,’ I said.

‘I wonder how much a year Captain Williams possesses?’ murmured Jane, sounding like a concerned mother. ‘I must have a chat with Frank about this.’

‘Don’t,’ I said. Somehow, inside all my happiness, there was a vision of Frank’s young, hurt face as he stepped politely to one side when Thomas was escorting me. I don’t think that Frank is really in love with me — boys are younger than girls in these matters, Jane tells me — but I think he feels something for me, and I thought that he looked a little jealous when he saw how Thomas’s arm was still around my waist even though the dance had finished. ‘Don’t,’ I said again. ‘I don’t mind how much Thomas has. I’d marry him if he didn’t have a penny.’

‘Dear, dear, dear.’ Jane clicked her tongue reprovingly. ‘You shouldn’t be like that. Now, me, I’m determined to marry no man with under ten thousand pounds a year. So, my dear young creature, will you accept him if he asks you?’

I nodded. ‘Yes, of course, but …’

‘But?’ Jane’s eyebrows rose. ‘Are his breeches just too white? Is that it?’

I went back and sat on the bed again.

‘I’m worried that people will think I’m too young.
I’m only sixteen — perhaps I
am
too young — my brother is very particular about things. And Augusta was twenty-three when she married so I bet she will think that is the exact right age to get married.’ I remembered that Thomas had asked me for Edward-John’s address. Why did he want that? What was he going to write to them about? Surely he wasn’t going to mention marriage before asking me?

But if he did, what would Edward-John and, more importantly, Augusta, think about a girl of sixteen getting engaged to be married? I remembered overhearing Augusta whispering to one of her friends about how Edward-John would have problems if I ever did get married. I didn’t understand it, but I guessed that perhaps the fifty pounds a year that Edward-John has now to maintain me would have to be given up if I married. How would Edward-John react to that? Augusta was extravagant and always had to have the best of everything. I knew that Edward-John worried about the bills that came in from the haberdashery and furniture shops. It would be a blow to him to give up my little fortune.

‘I just know that Edward-John and Augusta will say that I am too young to get married,’ I said aloud. The more I thought about it, the more despairing I felt.

‘Well, look at all those queens that Cassandra was trying to make me study!’ Jane always had an answer
to every problem. ‘They got married very young. Henry VII’s mother was married at twelve and she had a child at thirteen. And there was that unspeakably learned Lady Jane Grey — who only lived to annoy everyone by showing off the fact that she could speak Greek. Do you know that when she saw her husband’s body being brought back from the scaffold, she sat down and wrote a sentence about it in Latin and then another one in Greek? Well, she was not only married when she was sixteen, but got her head chopped off before she was seventeen as well. Now, that was packing a lot into a short life! You’ll never do as well as Lady Jane Grey, my dear. Just be content with getting married at sixteen — and keeping your head on your shoulders, of course!’

And then we both rolled on the bed giggling and I began to feel quite a bit better. I would just have to wait until I saw Thomas again and then I could see whether he really did care for me. If he did, well, he would handle Augusta and Edward-John for me.

The rest of the day was quite uninteresting: church, dinner, music, card games in the parlour … Frank was missing because Mrs Austen had sent him over to Lady Portsmouth with a note saying how we had all enjoyed the evening, and then Henry went off to visit the Portals. Things were dull without them.

That night before going to bed, Jane said to me
solemnly, ‘Don’t look so worried, Jenny. No man tells a girl that he wants his nearest relations to meet her unless he is on the point of proposing. You can take my word for that — I assure you I have made a life study of this subject.’

Monday, 4 April 1791

Tuesday, 5 April 1791

Jane and I were going out with a basket today. We had a slice of meat in it for George, and I had drawn some pictures of all kinds of meat. At the gate we met Mr Austen on his way back from church. He asked us where we were going and when Jane, who is always very courageous, told him, he looked a little embarrassed, gave a quick glance at the house to make sure that his wife wasn’t watching and then said that he would come with us.

George wasn’t alarmed — though I’m not sure whether he knew it was his father. He learned the sign for meat and then we put out all the pictures, made the signs, and one by one he was able to point to the pictures. Each time that he pointed, Jane dug into her basket and produced something. We didn’t have an orange and he was upset at that, searching the basket himself. Eventually he found a small piece of orange peel and he ate that. I hoped it wouldn’t harm him, but he seemed very happy.

‘Well,’ said Mr Austen as we walked home together, ‘I think you two girls have done a marvellous piece of work. I wouldn’t have believed it was possible. Where did you get the idea of teaching him sign language?’

‘I read it in a book from your library,’ explained Jane. She was glowing with excitement, her round cheeks as rosy as apples.

‘I know the one,’ said Mr Austen. ‘I think I’ll write to the man who wrote that book and consult him about George. It may be that he can recommend a teacher for him.’

He hesitated a bit, looking at Jane, and then he said, ‘Jane, I want to tell you about Thomas.’

I gave a start when he said that, but it was another Thomas that he was talking about.

‘Who’s Thomas? I haven’t got another brother hidden away, have I?’ asked Jane in that ugly, harsh voice she used to her mother.

‘No, no.’ Mr Austen was patient where Mrs Austen would have started to scold. ‘Thomas is your mother’s brother and he, like George, was born disabled. He is being cared for by a very good and devoted family in the village of Monk Sheraton. It was of him that I spoke the other day. We think that it might be a good idea to take George there and lodge him with his uncle. They would be companions for each other and he would be well looked after. There is a big family there at Monk Sheraton. I’ve been to see Thomas there and I think that they are good to him. He helps on the farm a bit, and they are all very kind there. He was feeding the hens when I came and he looked very happy. We want to do the best thing for George. You do believe that, don’t you? And we will try to get someone to continue the tuition that you have started.’

‘What does Mother think about this?’ Jane was
slightly unsure of what to say; I could hear that in her voice.

Mr Austen sighed and then he said very simply, ‘Don’t judge your mother too harshly, Jane. The trouble is that your mother and I have been short of money all our married lives. Running the school was the only way that we could manage and do the best for you all. And of course I could not have run the school without your mother’s help. She has had all the hard work: looking after the pupils, their laundry, their food, their happiness even. She could not have cared for George at the same time.’