I Want You to Want Me (Rock Star Romance #2) (13 page)

Cooper shoved the chair in front of him. “You don’t get to make these decisions. Who made you the boss of this fucking band?”

Anger rose in him like a hairy beast. “
You
did. All of you did. By not stepping up, you made
me
the boss.”

He knew she didn’t want anyone to know about them sleeping in the same bed, so he waited until the guys went off to their rooms. But it was killing him not to talk to her, make sure she was okay. He hated what she’d gone through tonight, and that he hadn’t been there for her.

By the time he’d set up the pull-out couch, he couldn’t take it anymore. He knocked on her door, but he couldn’t wait, so he pushed into the room, closing the door behind him. She was just coming out of the bathroom. Face scrubbed clean of makeup, hair loose around her shoulders, and wearing thin cotton pajama shorts and a tank top that pulled tight across her breasts.

She was gorgeous and sweet and kind, and he wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life. He strode across the room, stopping inches from her.

He stroked the back of his hand across her smooth cheek. “You okay?”

She nodded, lips parted, looking like she was barely breathing.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

“You’re allowed to spend time with your girlfriend. This is my job.”

“Cut it out. Just stop it. Stop making me say it. She’s not my girlfriend.” She got him so riled up when she threw that bullshit in his face. “I told her that tonight.”

“You told her what exactly?”

“That we’re not seeing each other anymore. And that I don’t like how she treated you.”

“She treated me like I’m the minder of this band.”

“But you’re more than that to me, and you know it.”

“Don’t do this,” she whispered, looking away.

He couldn’t stand it. He just couldn’t stand to see her hurting and hanging on so tightly to her control. “Do what? Fall for you? It’s too late.”

“Don’t make me feel things I can’t have.” She pushed away from him. “I’m tired. It’s been a long night. I’m going to bed.”

Fuck
. What could he say to that? He let her go, shutting himself in the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Brushing his teeth, he looked at his reflection. His instinct was to claim his woman. But he knew her well enough to know it wouldn’t work with her. He had to give her time. Heading back out, he found she’d left a lamp on for him.

He drew back the covers, climbed in beside her, wanting to run his hands all over that gorgeous body, take what he knew they both wanted.

Until he saw her expression, all soft, guileless, and welcoming. The one she gave him every night. His heart pounded, the tips of his fingers tingling with the heady desire to touch her skin.

“Violet,” he said as his arm draped around her waist, his palm opening on her back, his nose nuzzling into her neck. She smelled so fucking good.

As usual, she kept her hands pressed together at her collarbone. She smiled at him meaningfully.

“What?” he asked.

“You played the biggest show of your life, and you didn’t even check reviews.”

No, he hadn’t. “Got distracted with all that Pete shit.”

“You could check them now.”

And leave her? “Wild, horny virgins could break into this room and I wouldn’t leave. The fire alarm could go off and I’d stay right here.”

“Don’t say things like that.”

Her breathy tone spiraled through him and wrapped around his dick. He inched closer to her, slid his hand down to her ass and gave it a squeeze. “Violet.” Those big brown eyes gazed at him with heat and longing. Her chest rose and fell and her lips parted. Oh, fuck. He was a goner. He leaned forward, letting her scent wash over him, and he pressed his mouth to hers.

She sighed, her hand coming to his nape and clutching a fistful of hair.

He pressed closer, kissing her, his body alive and throbbing. The moment his tongue licked into her mouth and touched hers, his body flared with heat and desire. He gripped her ass, drawing her right up against him. Desire pulsed in his dick, making him so hard it hurt.

Closing his eyes, he sank into her, losing himself in the sensuous slide of tongues, the feel of her ass in his palm, and her sweet gasps.

And then she pressed a hand to his chest, tearing her mouth from his.

Stunned, he stared at her, his body still charging forward in its need to be with his woman. She covered her mouth with the back of her hand, her eyes wide and full of fear.

Just the sight of that palm in his face sent a cold chill through him.

He took in a deep breath, needing to calm himself down. “Don’t push me away.”

“Well, God, Derek, I obviously don’t want to. Do you think this is easy for me?”

He couldn’t tell if the tremor rocking through him was anger or need. “It should be easy. Look at us, for Christ’s sake. Look at us.” He gripped her harder, giving her a little shake. How could she push him away when they had so much fire between them?

“I want this, Derek. I want you. But I can’t . . . we can’t do this.”

Her tone didn’t match the yearning and blatant desire in her eyes, in the press of her lower body against his. “The fuck we can’t.”

“Even if I could be the kind of woman who lets herself have a passionate fling—and God, believe me, right now I
wish more than anything that I could—it doesn’t change the fact that I work for Irwin. I
can’t
get involved with you.”

“Of course you can. He’ll never know.”

Whatever he said banked the fire in her eyes. “He’ll know. And even if he doesn’t, I will. I’m sorry, but I can’t do it. This is my job, my career. My reputation. I don’t have anything to fall back on if I lose it. Nothing.”

“I don’t know how you can say that after that kiss.”

She shook her head with a desperate expression. “You have no idea.”

“Give me an idea, because I can’t . . . Fuck, you can’t mean this.”

He knew he’d pushed her too far when she gazed up at him with so much pain in her eyes he wanted to punch himself in the face.

But then she reached for him, wrapping her arms around his neck, drawing him up close, and she whispered in his ear. “I didn’t even know what I was missing until I found you. You make me feel all the things I never thought I could feel. I don’t want you
as much
as you want me.”

He flinched, his instinct to push her away. But he fucking couldn’t.

“I want you so much more. You’ll never know what it means to me to want someone the way I want you. To feel the way I feel. I just . . . I didn’t even think it was possible.”

Oh, fuck. She was killing him. “Then be with me.” He kissed her again, long and slow and deep. “Fucking be with me.”

Fingers tangling in his hair, she opened her mouth to him, tangled her tongue with his, but it wasn’t the same. It almost felt like . . . good-bye.

And then she pushed away, letting go of him. “I understand if you don’t want to sleep here anymore.”

He rolled onto his back.
Christ
. His dick hurt, and the pressure was fucking killing him. So he got out of bed, unwilling to look at her, and shut himself in the bathroom. Turning on the hot water, he stepped into the shower and under the spray, lowering his head.

She wanted him more than he wanted her, but they couldn’t be together.

He had no idea what to do with that information. Logically, he understood. He didn’t want to ruin her reputation, make it impossible for her to get another gig. Obviously.

So was he supposed to give up? Walk away?

Everything in him rebelled against the thought. Because it was too damn late for that.

He was in.

•   •   •

The
next morning, after brushing her teeth, Violet dressed in yoga pants and a tank top. She came out of the bathroom to find Derek at the desk, reading the computer screen. With each step she took, she felt the pull, the electric energy arcing between them.

He’d surprised her last night by coming back into bed with her after his shower. By wrapping an arm around her, lifting her head onto his chest, and falling asleep.

She wanted him. With everything in her, she wanted him.

Everything but the one tiny hold she had on her self-preservation. She couldn’t blow up her career. Not for a guy who wanted her just for now. She didn’t question their strange but intense connection—but she also knew she could never compromise her reputation, her career, for a short-term affair.

And even he would have to admit it couldn’t last beyond the tour. Just look at his track record. Three months seemed to be his limit.

As she approached, he turned, looking relieved to see her. She touched his shoulder tentatively, and when his features softened, she stroked down to the middle of his back.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to read your own reviews?” She peered at the article.

“Hey, last night you told me to.”

“No, I was just surprised you hadn’t already done it.”

He reached for her hand, brought it to his chest, and pressed it to his heart. “They’re fucking great. Unbelievable.” He gazed up at her with an evil glint. “Want to see something?”

“If it involves unzipping anything, then no, thank you.”

He burst out laughing. “You’re nasty.”

“Only in your imagination.”

He turned intense, pushing the chair back and tugging on her until she toppled into his lap. “Please tell me you can’t see into my imagination. That would be bad. Really bad.”

“You got something to show me or what?”

She started to get up. After all, someone could walk right in. But he tightened his hold around her waist. And, God, how was she supposed to resist the way this man claimed her? She couldn’t. Just for this moment, then, she’d allow herself to have it. Savor it. She loved the feel of his big, powerful body, loved the grip he had on her. If she could, she’d never leave the safety and warmth of his arms.

She watched the screen as he scrolled through pictures of the party the night before. He clicked on one of them. Enlarged it, so it filled the screen.

Little white lights made blurry streaks in the background. In the foreground, the two of them were locked in an embrace. All around them couples danced, heads thrown back in laughter, arms captured mid-stroke, glimpses of white teeth and wild eyes.

But
them
. Good God, them. Their bodies pressed tightly together, gazing into each other’s eyes, the yearning, the unchecked lust . . . it was palpable. Visceral. Her blood slowed.

That’s me.
Happiness filled her like light. She had no idea she could be that woman.

“That’s . . . wow.” She swiveled around to look at him. “We’re hot.”

His fingers dug into her thigh. Under her ass, she felt him hardening, lengthening.

For one second, she let herself go, squirmed on his erection, but when he hissed in a breath, when his hips pressed up, and sensation streaked through her, she got up. “I’ve got to go.”

“Where?” He didn’t sound happy.

“I’m meeting Bax for breakfast.”

“Bax? Why?”

“Remember I told you I think he’s the supplier? Well, he was in the VIP room last night with Pete. He’s
always
with Pete. Was he around when you were in the studio?”

Derek got up, looking away with a thoughtful expression. Then, he nodded. “Yes.”

“Did you ever see him giving Pete anything?”

“No. Never. And I can’t imagine it. Working with Irwin . . . it’s a premium gig, you know?”

“This is a way of life for him. I doubt he sees anything wrong with it.”

He jammed his hands into his pockets. “This is so fucked up.”

“I know, but we’ll take care of it. We’ll fix it.”

“You always get a happy ending?”

“So far.” She started to go, when he reached for her hand. Clasping it, he tugged her closer.

Her body responded, liquid heat softening her bones, desire pounding in her blood. That look in his eyes . . .
God
. “Derek—”

But before she could finish her sentence, his mouth closed over hers, and he swept the thoughts right out of her head with the sweetest, softest, most intimate kiss she’d ever had.

She’d thought him to be primal, rough, animalistic, but this kiss . . . God, his hands on her hips, his mouth so gentle and sweet and hot. He took his time, savoring her. Her legs went weak, her pulse kicking so hard she went dizzy.

And then his fingers slid into the waistband of her pants, skimming down until he held her ass firmly in his hands and squeezed, jerking her up against him.

“Oh,” she gasped, completely swept away as hot desire rolled through her. His tongue demanded more from her. She couldn’t resist, couldn’t fight the fall into this big, strong man who took care of everyone—of
her
.

She moaned, so boneless she nearly collapsed, but his hands pulled out of her pants and he reached down to her bottom, cupped her, lifted her. Her legs automatically belted around his hips.

“Oh, fuck, V.” His breath was hot on her neck as his fingers flexed into her flesh. He sucked an earlobe into his hot mouth. “I want you. I want you so much.”

“God, Derek.” Her hips thrust forward, her legs tightening. When she met his hard erection, lust detonated in her core and she ground against him, her hands grabbing his hair,
pulling, her mouth needing more and more of his hungry kisses. Oh, God, she couldn’t get enough, couldn’t get close enough. “Derek.” She cried out so loudly, she snapped right out of it, came back to herself. “Oh, God. I . . .” What had she done? She wiped her mouth, straightened her yoga pants. “I . . . Dammit. I have to meet Bax. He’s waiting for me.”

He dropped his head on her shoulder. “Violet.” His tone so reverent, so gentle, she couldn’t reconcile it with the man she’d come to know. Was he this way with Gen? His models?

He brought his mouth back to hers, gave her chaste kisses. “After the meeting, I’m taking you away. Just the two of us.”

“You’ve got a show today.”

“That’s right. At the fairgrounds. We’ll meet the band for sound check.”

She pulled away from him. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. My job is to mind the band. I shouldn’t . . .”

“You shouldn’t what? Do something for yourself? Besides, good news. I’m with the band.” He gave her a devilish grin. “And the guys won’t mind. They’ll want you to have some fun, believe me. They feel like shit for what we’ve put you through.”