I Rize (5 page)

My first couple weeks of sophomore year have started off horribly. I’m not surprised. Since Terri came to live with us this summer, my life has not just been hell, but pure freaking hell on fire.

I thought she was only going to stay for a couple months during the summer. But apparently, she is going to finish school here. And apparently, I missed the memo.

I guess the marriage between her dad and my mom makes us stepsisters now. She has to call my mom Michelle. I despise the sound of my mom’s name out of her mouth. Why do the forces beyond me have to make us related?

He laughed to himself. “You are the same old spunky kindergartner. Nothing has changed.”

Wait a second.

There was one good day this week when my mom took Darla and me, but unfortunately also Terri, to a new clothing store that opened in the downtown district. I love walking down those streets during the day, because the buildings are dainty, and it just feels so nostalgic.

There was this cute shirt that we both grabbed at the same time. She knew she couldn’t wear a size two but, of course, snatched it from my hand and went on her merry way into the dressing room. Try to imagine a plus size girl who should be wearing a size twenty, fitting into a size two.

I guess it was her funny way to spite me. I laughed at the thought of it, which was the only highlight of my week.

Junior could hear bodies rustling in the room next to him as his laughter ignited nearly as loudly as a lion’s roar.

This morning before school, Shandi and Terri were both in her room laughing loudly. You were downstairs eating breakfast, I think.

Do you remember Shandi? She lives in one of the decrepit, broken down apartments where the homeless people usually live in the winter. I don’t know how they met, but they are both even more miserable together. Shandi acts more like her little lapdog to me, following her around, barking at her every command.

“Yeah, can’t forget that troubled girl.”

The laughing was getting annoying, so I stormed in after an hour of being completely annoyed. When I walked in, their eyes were glued to the computer screen as if it was their only source of life.

The pictures were all over Facebook. They were clearly edited, because I would never take a pose like that. The pictures had ‘slut’ and ‘whore’ typed all over them. They portrayed a girl with black hair in a compromising position with one of the football players.

I’m sure my hopeless crush Jace Rivers has already seen them.

Crap.

Look, here is one. We both know this isn’t me.

Junior looked as she put up the picture to the computer screen. Repulsion dismembered his once pleasant mind into a series of images he wished to erase.

He distinctly remembered when she came to school, it seemed like she wanted to burst into tears, but couldn’t. Nearly everyone in school talked about the pictures, but he never said anything because he didn’t want her to feel even more embarrassed about the unfair situation.

I’ll never forget the smirks on Shandi and Terri’s faces. There was so much evil and hate in those demented souls. Why is this happening to me?

Adny paused, looked down at the picture, ripped it in half, and threw it halfheartedly into the air. Her snarky sarcasm began to fade the longer she described the ordeal.

That wasn’t even the worst part. I ran out of the room and told the only person I thought could help—my mom. She is my source of life. I thought she would be my source of comfort. I thought wrong.

“If only you knew how much she hurt.”

She came in and demanded they take the pictures down. They told her some crap story, which I don’t believe, about how they just randomly found them.

Junior watched as more tears fell from her fed up face as she explained further.

All my mother did was brush it off and tell me to talk to Terri’s father when he got home from work. I love my mother and stepfather to death, but I wish they wouldn’t have brushed my problem off as some childish whine session.

I slammed my door shut. Their constant laughter could be heard from across the hall as I finished getting ready for school. Terri and Shandi have demons just waiting to be released. The funny thing is I know all their demons hidden in their dark hearts, waiting to come out into the light.

Maybe I should release them and make them feel how miserable I feel every single day.

Junior ran his hand down the computer screen, closing his eyes, while envisioning being there to comfort her. “Buddy, don’t worry; they all will get what they deserve.”

I knew going to school this morning that nothing would get better. I gave myself a much-needed pep talk as I always did before walking through the front doors. My efforts always fail.

I had this weird inkling in my stomach that the torment would not stop with those pictures. This morning I realized that not everyone could be trusted, even people you thought to be your family or friends. Terri treats me like I’m a homeless bum who’s taken over her house as my own. I’ve always wondered why she hates me so much. Sometimes I do sense a little jealousy though.
Everyone in the family except Terri's father knew jealousy was the root of her hatred toward Adny.
I know they will do everything in their power to take me down, initiating other people to join as if I was the communist government and they, the common folks, were joining forces to destroy me.

I learned about communism because I actually paid attention in U. S. History class today with Dr. Morchek’s voice of doom. He yells, and then pauses after every word, like he is constipated twenty-four-seven.

I sat in the front and called him MR. Morchek today. I know, in his eyes, that’s the worst crime imaginable.

Junior covered his hand with his mouth and sarcastically gasped. “The inner beast has been awakened in you. There’s no switching him back now.”

Maybe I might have … absolutely … positively said it on purpose.

Here is what I understood from the long- winded thirty-minute rants. “ADNY … I EMBODY … A DOCTOR OF…GREAT EMINENCE.”

I didn’t hear the last twenty-five minutes because I tuned him out with music. The ‘Doctor’ is so hilarious. It’s a shame he doesn’t realize how much laughter his oddities bring to the hogwash buffoonery I call my life.

On another note, do you remember in Miss Nora’s class when you kept asking if you could see my notes because I was writing a lot?

Despite the fact they had known each other since kindergarten, he never really knew about her interest in the darker side of poetry. The poems were kept private from everyone. This was the first time he heard about any poem she wrote.

In those last moments of class as Miss Nora spoke about trigonometric functions, my physical body was present—my mind wasn’t. I pulled out my pen and paper, and once my pen hit the paper, my hands could not stop moving.

My pen was the guide, my betrayal the inspiration.

Those darn pictures were stuck in my mind, and I forgot the poem under the freaking desk. Before I went to second period, I went back and saw Miss Nora with my poem in her hands. I was so scared because I didn’t want anyone else to read it. I hope I didn’t freak her out. I thought she would call my parents and tell them how crazy I was. She didn’t. I was surprised when she asked if I wanted to perform in the annual spring poetry slam. Can you believe that?

Me, talking in front of a bunch of people who hate me, like that would ever happen.

“You were always secretive about your writings. Wish I could have seen more.”

But sometimes I feel like poetry is my only escape from this evil world.

Just a pen and paper.

No one to judge me.

No one to betray me.

Just a pen and paper.

I think I love first period for different reasons than you. From a poetic point of view, Miss Nora’s classroom is my Garden of Eden. Everything is so perfect and peaceful during those fifty minutes that I am in her class each day.

Then the stupid bell has to ring and ruin everything.

That annoying, ringing bell taints my ears from evil lurking the halls. The ringing of the bell tempts me to take one step out for the next class.

And when I do, all hell breaks loose.

Junior found the copy of the poem Miss Nora gave him. The second time he read it, he could feel each emotion from each word as if she were writing it in front of him. He had no idea where all her anger originated from until he saw the video.

Junior switched off the lights, allowing the darkness to consume the chaos that rummaged throughout his mind. The poem was held in his hands while muttering half asleep. A light knock at the door disrupted his nearly calm state of mind. Michelle peeked into the dark room, but when no sound was heard, the door was closed again quietly.

M
ICHELLE STOOD silently in the kitchen while cooking everyone breakfast before work. Darla and Junior quickly ate and left for school. Terri lazily dragged her feet down the stairs with her pajamas still on. The stench from Terri’s strong morning breath filtered throughout the entire kitchen space as she yawned widely as if she were still tired. Terri walked into the kitchen, denying Michelle's presence.

“Terri, you forgot how to greet people in the morning, I see.”

Terri stood at the counter drinking orange juice, not saying a word. Michelle watched Terri’s eyes dart everywhere except in her direction. The pictures found the night before continued to form a deep divide between them. Answers were needed.

She watched Terri sit down and constantly eyeball the scrambled eggs on the stove. When the toast popped up ready, Terri jumped up like a hungry dog ready to eat. A weird look was shot in Terri’s direction, forcing her back into the chair. The tension between them became a series of awkward interactions. The sound of Terri’s stomach growling could be heard by anyone within a few feet away as she finally gave in and mumbled, “Good morning.”

Michelle slid the picture of Adny face down in front of Terri’s view. “That is not my daughter, damn it.”

Terri turned it over and slightly laughed while sipping her orange juice.

“It’s funny, Terri?”

“Yeah, Michelle, this picture is old and funny to me.”

The veins in the side of Michelle’s face became prominent. A mix of frustration and anger was obvious when she responded, “So, it’s funny to you that my daughter almost killed herself and is fighting to survive each day on her own? Fill me in because I don’t see the humor in it.”

She picked up the picture and drenched it in Terri’s half drunken orange juice. The cup fell to the floor, spilling the orange juice all over her pajamas and socks. All laughter quickly faded into silence amongst them.

She turned her nose up at Terri still practically salivating from the food on the stovetop. “By the way, the food you've been eyeballing this whole time is mine. You better not touch it. I only cook for people who actually have a heart, damn it. You have two hands. Make your own.”

Terri’s father came down into the kitchen about to leave for work. He grabbed a clean tie from the laundry room. He glanced back and forth between his daughter and wife. “Is everything okay?” The concern in his voice was ignored by everyone.

“Terri, after you finish eating, clean up the orange juice. I better not see a damn picture anywhere on your computer when I get home from work. ” When her husband went in to give her a goodbye kiss, she turned her head in the opposite direction. She grabbed the picture of Adny drenched in orange juice and shoved it into his hands. “When you get home from work, talk to your daughter. I don’t have the time or patience.”

F
or the most part, school continued for a lot of people as if Adny had never left. But for Gracie, Junior could tell it was a nightmare without her. The few times they interacted made it so Gracie was less of a doormat that they could kick, spit on, and tear up as they wished. Adny was the only one at school who treated her like an actual human being—one with heart, one with feelings.

Not many people knew Gracie at Valley High School. She was shy and quiet and always kept her hair in a long braid going past her shoulders. Her mouth was fixed in a permanent frown and no one ever saw her eyes because she kept them pointed down when she walked. Food became her comfort against the constant name-calling.

But here she sat with him as they reminisced about a person they both missed very much.

“Junior, I didn’t know her well enough, like you, but she had such a positive impact on my life. She was the first person, other than my parents, who heard me sing.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you’re lucky to have a friend like her. Have you talked to Mickey lately?”

“Nah, I haven’t. He has some things he needs to work out on his own first.”

As they both got up to throw their leftover food in the trash, they saw Madison eating with her group of cheerleaders. One of the cheerleaders chimed in and said, “You should be happy your little friend is gone, because you’re next in line, Chubbs.”

Junior pulled Gracie to the side. “You remember what I told you before? You have to stay strong. Karma is going to bite them in the ass when Adny comes back, don’t worry.”

“I’m just not strong like you, Junior.” She ran out of the cafeteria in tears.

Everyone laughed, yelling, “Bye Chubbs,” in unison.

When the laughter quieted, Madison asked, “What happened to your boy toy, weirdo? I guess the fat hog, Chubbs, is your new toy to play with.”

While Junior searched around his pockets, Madison rolled her eyes and asked, “What are you looking for, weirdo?”

Junior looked up, chuckling to himself. “Madison, I looked hard. Too bad I couldn’t find two fucks to give.”

Madison drew her arms down by her side. She turned back toward the other cheerleaders, while gathering her things. “Bitches, what are you waiting on? Let’s go.” She brushed against his shoulder, shoving him on purpose and whispered, “Watch me blow up in your face. You’ll be the one looking stupid.”