I Put a Spell on You (28 page)

Anyway, I’m absolutely sure he’s a witch. Absolutely. I’ve not seen him do any actual magic, but I’m convinced he does some of the old mind games – like we used to do with poor old Mrs Fletcher at school. I saw him haggling with a local guy the other day, arguing over the price of some fruit. The seller wasn’t budging, until Dhani put his hand on his shoulder. Suddenly, he took the money Dhani was offering. But when he got out of the gate, he paused and looked at the notes in his hand. He glanced back at Dhani, then at the cash and shook his head. He had NO idea what had happened.

So, Tess. What do you think I should do? Should I tell him I’m a witch, or wait?

Love

Sx

Tuesday, May 30
^th
1972

Dear Tess

I decided not to tell Dhani. Instead, I’ve been going out of my way to spend more time with him. Noticing how the air shimmers around him and how people bend to his will. He can get anyone to do anything and it’s not just because he’s so good-looking – the men do it too. And local people who come to the commune with deliveries.

Last week I went with him – and some other people – to Diwana to stock up on supplies. Clara came too, but of course they very carefully ignored each other the whole time. It’s so funny how they think no one knows about them. I’m pretty sure everyone’s guessed.

Anyway, we all had chores to do, and I went with a guy called Gareth to buy some rice. It was much hotter in the town that it is out in the commune and the market was stuffy and airless. So while Gareth was haggling over the price, I wandered round looking at the stalls and trying to find some shade. As I admired some sari fabric that was hanging up, I spotted Dhani. He was at another stall, talking to an elderly Indian lady. She was wrapped in a sari and chatting to Dhani in a very animated fashion, flapping her arms up and down. He was smiling so I knew they weren’t arguing, but as I went to say hello I suddenly stopped. It wasn’t what they were saying that warned me to stay away – it was that suddenly my skin was prickling all over. It felt like thousands of tiny needles were sticking in me, and I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that the woman was a witch. That’s never happened to me before, Tess. Have you ever experienced that?

Anyway, as I stood there watching, the woman froze and I knew she’d sensed me, too. Without even being sure what I was doing, I ducked back behind the fabric and quickly walked away. I didn’t want to be exposed in that way, I’m not sure why.

So that’s another reason to suspect Dhani’s a witch. I should just ask him, I suppose. But for some reason I’m nervous of doing that. It’s not that I’m worried about asking him, but more that I don’t want him to know about me. Does that make sense?

Write soon, sis.

Sxx

Monday 26 June 1972

Dear Tess,

My suspicions about Dhani being a witch have been swapped for some new suspicions – I’m not sure he’s being as nice as he should be to Clara. In fact, I think he might be sleeping with someone else (are you shocked? I was quite shocked about how freely everyone gives their, erm, love here. I suppose it’s the living embodiment of the whole peace and love vibe, but I can’t say it’s my sort of thing!).

Clara still sneaks out of our hut late at night, but not as often as she did. And I’ve seen Dhani with one of the new girls, an American called Yvonne. She’s beautiful, but she’s a bit scary to be honest – fresh from a Vietnam protest and full of anger about America and what it’s doing. But Dhani seems to like her. In fact, they’re always together – arguing or laughing. There’s definitely something there. Clara just watches them, with an odd look on her face, and she won’t talk about it when I ask.

So yesterday I asked Gareth. He’s friends with Dhani – at least as much as anyone can be friends with him – and I thought he might know. While we were chopping onions for dinner, side-by-side in the kitchen, I saw Yvonne waft by. 
“Yvonne’s a character,” I said casually to Gareth.

“You’re not wrong there,” he chuckled – he’s got a great laugh, and a lovely Welsh accent – I told you we were all Celts here!

“Dhani seems to like her.” I scooped some chopped onions into the pot.

Gareth snorted.

“Dhani likes all women,” he said.

“Do you think something’s going on with them?”

“Are you jealous?” Gareth nudged me and I shoved him back.

“Not me,” I said, wondering whether to tell him about Clara, but he understood.

“Worried about your friend?”

I nodded.

He shook his head.

“She’d be better off not relying on Dhani,” he said. “He’s a handful.”

I couldn’t ask him any more because some people came clattering in, hungry and on the hunt for a snack. But I’m going to watch Dhani very carefully.

More later.

Sxx

Tuesday 4 July 1972

Dear Tess

Yvonne’s gone – she wanted to be back in the States for some big march or something. I wasn’t that interested to be honest. And Dhani’s back to paying Clara lots of attention. She’s blooming again like a rose that needed watering, poor girl. 
So when Dhani’s not with Clara, I’ve been trying to spend more time with him. I want to know about his magic, obviously, and I want to check that Clara can trust him.

I’ve been seeking him out, which is hard actually because he’s a man in demand. But I’ve managed to spend some time with him, alone, and I have to admit, I can see why he’s such a ladykiller. It’s not just his good looks. He’s a real charmer. When he listens to you, it’s like he really hears, you know? I wonder if everything between him and Yvonne was just from her side? Maybe I’ve misunderstood.

As I suspected when we first arrived, there’s a real connection between Dhani and me. I don’t know if it’s just that we’re both Scottish – he sometimes makes wee jokes that I know are for my benefit. Things that you wouldn’t understand if you weren’t from Scotland. So that’s definitely part of it. But there’s the magic stuff, too. I’ve seen him doing magic, stuff that if I wasn’t a witch I wouldn’t think twice about – like when he calls everyone to him for a group meeting, he just claps his hands and they come. That’s not normal – but everyone thinks he just commands respect. Or the way there’s always a hut free for someone he wants to stay. I’m not even sure how many huts there are here, even though it shouldn’t be hard to count them. They shift, somehow. So, yes, he’s definitely a witch and that’s a connection I have with him, too. And yet I still haven’t told him the truth…

Sx

Thursday 20
^th
Jul 1972

Dear Tess

Something’s happened between Dhani and Clara. She’s pale and worried and so, so tired. And she and Dhani don’t seem close any more. In fact, the only time I’ve seen them together recently, Clara was crying. Her aura is thin and murky, where before it was rosy pink. Something’s wrong and I wanted to help. So I told her that I’m a witch.

We were in our hut, listening to music. I was lying on my bed and Clara was sitting on the floor, leaning against my bed and resting her head next to my legs. I thought she was crying again, but I couldn’t be sure.

“Are you worried about Dhani?” I asked.

She didn’t reply.

“Is it Yvonne?”

She shook her head, looking weary all of a sudden.

“Yvonne’s gone,” she said. “But I’m sure someone else will come soon.”

I wasn’t sure what she meant so I stayed quiet.

“Do you like Dhani?” she asked me suddenly.

I couldn’t lie.

“I’m drawn to him,” I admitted. “But not in the way you think.”

Clara was silent. From the record player Don McLean sang about American Pie. I made a snap decision.

“I’m a witch, Clara,” I said, staring at a spider crawling over the ceiling and hoping she’d understand. “I have – powers – and I think Dhani has them too.”

She knew exactly what I meant.

“Powers?” she said. She span round on her bottom so she was facing me. “He’s got powers all right.” She laughed in a way that told me she didn’t think it was funny.

“It’s like he’s in my head, pushing away all the stuff that’s mine and filling it with his own crap.”

I sat up so I could see her better and frowned. That wasn’t the sort of witchcraft I knew about.

“Is that why you’re unhappy?” I said. “Don’t you want him in your head?”

She wasn’t listening.

“You’re a witch?” She stood up, then sat down on the bed next to me. Her green eyes gleamed with hope.

“Do you do spells?”

I nodded, worried about where the conversation was going.

“Do one for me?” She took my hand. Her fingers were cold, despite the heat. “Can you make Dhani love me?”

Tess, better witches than me would have crumbled; she looked so desperate. But I had to tell her the truth.

“I can’t,” I whispered. “I can’t make people fall in love. But I can stop it hurting so much.”

A tear rolled down her cheek and she nodded.

“Please,” she said. “Please stop it hurting.”

So I did a healing charm. I just hope it’s worked. Would you have done the same, Tess?

Sx

Sunday July 30
^th
1972

Dear Tess

I thought the charm went well, but maybe the damage was just too deep, because when I went back to the hut after lunch a few days later, Clara was slumped on the bed, big sobs shaking her narrow shoulders.

I tried to comfort her, awkwardly putting my arm around her, but I wasn’t sure what to do. Instead I just stroked her hair, like Mum always used to do when we were little and tried to make her feel better.

“Is it Dhani?” I whispered eventually.

She looked up at me, her pale skin blotchy and her pretty eyes swollen.

“It’s over,” she said, her voice croaky. “He won’t even talk to me. He hates me.”

“Shhh,” I said, squeezing her tighter. “That’s not true. Maybe some things were said in the heat of the moment that no one meant.”

Her face hardened.

“He meant it,” she said, clumsily wiping her tears with the heel of her hand. “He wants me to leave.”

My heart thumped. I couldn’t imagine being here without Clara.

“Oh, Clara, no.” I stood up. “I’ll talk to him. We get on, he might listen to me.”

Clara grabbed my hand.

“Suky,” she hissed. “Listen to me. Dhani is dangerous. He is manipulative and cunning and he will worm his way into your head and make you do what he wants you to do.”

I was scared by the desperate look in her eyes and I pulled my hand away.

“No, Clara, he’ll listen to me,” I said. “I’ll tell him you’re staying.”

A light died in Clara’s eyes. She raised her chin and looked at me through narrowed eyes.

“Oh I’m not staying,” she said. “I’m leaving. And you should too. Leave now, with me. Before he gets you, too.”

And that was that, Tess. In a whirl, she pulled out drawers and shoved her clothes into her backpack as I sat, shocked and silent, on the bed and watched.

And finally she picked her passport out of the drawer where it had stayed with mine all these months. With one finger she reached out and touched mine.

“Come with me,” she said.

I shook my head.

“I can’t,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

She pulled me into a hug and squeezed me tight.

“Be careful,” she said. “Will you write to me and let me know you’re safe?”

Bewildered, I nodded. I couldn’t speak in case I cried.

And off she went. I watched her walk across the grass, out of the gate and down the hill. And she didn’t look back. Not once.

Sx

Chapter 42

Wednesday August 9
^th
1972

Dear Tess

I wish you were here. I miss you. And I miss Clara. It’s not the same without her. She was my first real friend, and I’ve done something terrible.

Since Clara went, Dhani and I have become closer. And last night, we kissed. Well, he kissed me. But I didn’t push him away.

I went to his hut to see if he knew anything about Clara leaving.

We chatted for a while but when I mentioned Clara he looked sad. I stroked his arm (which, I couldn’t help but notice, is strong and hard with muscle) sympathetically. As soon as I touched him I knew I was in trouble. The air around us fizzed and crackled with energy – I could almost see the sparks. And suddenly he kissed me.

“What about Clara?” I said.

“She’s gone,” he said, looking at me with his deep brown eyes. It was like his skin glowed with light in the dim hut. And when I looked at my hand on his arm, it seemed to glow too.

It took every ounce of self-control I had to stand up and leave before it went too far, But I managed. Now, though, when I think about the sparks I saw and the urgent, unbreakable bond I felt between us, I feel like nothing I do is going to stop this. It’s inevitable.

Sx

“He must have had real charisma, your dad,” Esme said. She was reading the letters over my shoulder.

I nodded, though I couldn’t quite get the irresistible man described in Mum’s letters to match with the aging hippie I’d seen in the mirror.

“He certainly seduced poor Mum,” I said. “And it’s sad how much she missed Clara.”

Esme picked up the bundle of letters my mum had saved for so many years.

“I wonder if this is when she started writing to her,” she said, leafing through them and peering at the faded dates on the postmarks. She shuffled them into chronological order looking pleased with herself.