I Only Have Eyes For You (25 page)

Lori squeezed his hand, tight enough that he had to look at her. “My sister’s tough, Jake. So much tougher than anyone knows.”

Why wasn’t Lori tearing him apart?

“Go find out what’s going on,” he told her in a gruff voice, knowing he didn’t deserve to be pouring out his guts all over her.

But Lori didn’t let go of him. Just like her twin, she was one of the only people who didn’t jump at his unilateral orders.

“Sophie always believed in you. No matter what you did, what you said, none of it made any difference. My sister wasn’t ever going to change her mind about loving you.”

“She was wrong. I’m not good for her.” He’d wanted so badly to prove to her that he could be. No one had ever failed so badly. “This proves it.”

“You’re here aren’t you?”

“I was
yelling
at her,” he told her again as something warm moved down his cheek. At first he didn’t know what it was, because he hadn’t cried since he was a kid. Not since that last beating when he’d grabbed the knife. “She wouldn’t have fainted if I hadn’t—”

“Seriously? You think she’s in here because you were yelling at her? I yell at her all the time.”

“She deserves a guy who can give her a perfect life. No yelling. No bossing her around. No crazy hours at work. No screwy past.”

“Don’t use this not-being-good-enough-for-her crap as an excuse to leave her hanging this time.” Lori Sullivan was fierce. “If you’re going to step up to the plate, step all the way up, Jake.”

With that, she strode away to find out what her mother and brother were learning from the receptionist, leaving Jake to reel.

“It’s really sad, isn’t it?” A couple of young hospital residents were walking past him to the coffee machine against the wall. Jake was certain one of them was the nurse who had taken Sophie into the back. “Man, this job is a bummer when people lose their babies like that.”

“I know. I never know what to say.”

The young woman shook her head. “I don’t think there was anything we could have said to make this better for her. Not when it all happened so suddenly, and especially now that she can never have kids.”

* * *

Sophie felt a warm caress on her cheek and would have smiled if she could.
Jake was here. Everything would be better now.

“I love you so much. And I’m so sorry. So damn sorry.”

She finally managed to open her heavy eyelids and saw that Jake's cheeks were wet, droplets clinging to his eyelashes. His sorrow, the fear in his eyes, held her speechless. Along with the way he was looking at her.

With pure love.

“
I wanted those kids, you know how bad I wanted them. But you’re everything.
Everything.
It doesn’t matter if we can never have kids. All I need is you. If you’ll have me. If you’ll trust me and let me trust you from here on out.”

Finally, her tongue came unstuck. “Jake?”

She tried to sit up to put her arms around him, but the sharp bite of pain had her gasping instead. Jake’s arms came around her, holding her so gently, as if she were broken. The pain medication they’d given her made her feel heavy, fuzzy. But she needed to tell him.

“I heard the nurses talking outside.” Every word he spoke was wracked with deep pain. And loss. But still he stroked her hair as if he were afraid she’d break apart any second. “I should have been here with you when they told you about the miscarriage.”

No, God no, he couldn’t think that—

Her tongue felt thick as she said, “It wasn’t a miscarriage. They weren’t talking about me.”

The hand that was stroking her hair stilled. “Sophie?” He pulled back to stare into her eyes. She watched relief war with disbelief on his face, as if he didn’t want to give in to hope again, only to come crashing back down harder.

“But the blood, I saw the blood.”

She pushed down the sheet and took his hands in hers, placing them over her stomach. Her eyelids felt like they had lead weights hanging from them, but she had to explain. “I had a fibroid in my uterus.” She hoped she was making sense. “A really fast growing one. That’s why Marnie didn’t catch it earlier when she was concentrating on finding heartbeats. They’re going to take me in for surgery to get it out.”

He looked down at their hands, linked over her. “So you’re—they’re—”

“Yes.”

“Excuse me, sir, you can’t be in here. I need to finish prepping Ms. Sullivan for surgery right away.”

She knew that fierce look Jake gave the nurse oh-so-well, and loved that Jake was willing to fight any battles he needed to for her. For their children. He was going to be the most wonderful father. The most loving husband.

As he argued with the nurse, telling her she could take it up with Sophie’s mother in the waiting room if they needed proof that he belonged with her, that she
needed
him, she held on to his hands...and knew that everything was going to be okay, after all.

Chapter Twenty-four

In the twenty-four hours after Sophie came out of surgery, the entire Sullivan clan invaded the hospital. She’d never been so suffocated by their concern as they hovered over her...or felt so loved. Through it all Jake stayed beside her, his hand holding hers, his strength bolstering hers as they fielded her brothers’ reactions to seeing their baby sister with a man they had thought would never be able to love.

How, she wondered for the thousandth time, could they not have known Jake loved with his entire heart, with every last piece of his soul?

Desperately wishing she had a moment alone with Jake to finally tell him everything that was in her heart, as soon as the door finally closed behind Gabe, Megan, and Summer, she said, “Jake, there’s so much we need to tal—”

Smith pushed through the door before she could finish her sentence. She knew he had walked off his set in Australia the moment her mother called. His arms immediately came around her and he held her longer than anyone.

So many times Smith had been like a father to her, and after working to stay strong with the rest of her siblings, she couldn’t keep the sobs from coming when her favorite brother’s arms were around her. She’d spent so many years hoping and dreaming of a life with Jake. It was still hard to believe that everything she’d ever wanted was finally hers.

Her brother held her until her tears stopped. “We’ll all take care of you and the babies. You don’t have to marry him, Sophie.”

Smith spoke as if Jake wasn’t in the room, as if she wasn’t still holding his hand. She brushed her tears away before reaching for Smith’s hand with her free one, wanting him to understand how she truly felt.

“I love Jake.”

Smith finally acknowledged his onetime friend with a scowl that would have had anyone else scurrying from the room to find a hiding place. “You were just crying like your heart was breaking in half. You don’t have to pretend with me, Soph.”

She could feel Jake vibrating with the need to leap to her defense, with the instinctive urge to claim her. But she also now knew that he loved her enough to let her deal with it on her own while he backed her up every step of the way.

“I’m not pretending. I’m happy, so incredibly happy that my brother has come all this way to see me. And to give me his blessing.” She squeezed her brother’s hand. “Be happy for me, Smith.” She looked at Jake, then back at her brother. “Be happy for both of us.”

He stared long and hard at Jake, neither man backing down. Finally, Smith turned back to her. “If this is what you really want, I’ll try to be happy for you.”

Jake’s voice came as a warning to her brother. “She’s mine, Smith. And no one hurts what's mine.”

Knowing the man she loved had tried his best to let her fight this fight herself, and that she wouldn’t change one single thing about him even if she could, she told her brother, “Jake is right. I am his. I’ve always been his. And I always will be. I want Jake.” She glanced down at her stomach. “I want the babies we’re making together.” Knowing it was time to finally say what she’d held back from her family for far too long, she said, “And I want you, I want everyone in our family, to accept that I’m more than just your
nice
little sister who can’t take care of herself.”

The silence between them stretched out for a long while before Smith said, “I always thought your nickname was all wrong.”

The laughter bubbled out of her. “Just as long as no one comes up with any for my kids.”

Smith took a deep breath. “Twins, huh?” He looked amazed and so proud her heart turned over with love. “You’re going to be one heck of a parent, Soph.”

As he leaned forward to kiss her cheek, she whispered, “I had a lot of great teachers. Especially you.”

And then, from out of the blue, Smith held out his hand to Jake. “Welcome to the family.”

Mary Sullivan walked in just as Jake said, “Thanks, Smith. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

Smiling at everyone despite the fact that she was clearly choked up, Sophie’s mother said, “I’m so glad you two finally figured out that you’re meant to be together.”

Sophie gasped in surprise. “Wait a minute, you mean you knew all along that Jake and I would end up…in love?”

“From day one, honey. Just like Jake did, didn’t you?”

She could see how much her mother’s approval meant to Jake as he squeezed her hand tight. “It was all I ever hoped for, Mrs. Sullivan.”

Mary smiled at the man who had captured her beloved daughter’s heart. “Actually, Jake, I’d much rather you called me
Mom
.”

* * *

At long last, Sophie’s mother and brother left, with a promise to be back first thing in the morning with all of her favorite treats. The door hadn’t quite closed behind her brother, but she couldn’t wait another second to turn to Jake and say, “Did you mean what you said? That you’d been loving me from a distance all this time?”

“I only have eyes for you, Sophie. But I never thought I deserved you.”

“Can’t you see how magnificent you are?” she said softly. “Because I’ve always seen it. I'm just so sorry I didn't see more, that I wasn't there for you when you needed me most.”

“You couldn't have seen it, princess. Not when I've spent twenty years honing my ability to hide my problems with reading from everyone. Especially you.”

She watched as his fears surfaced in his eyes, and while she didn't ever want him to be afraid, it meant so much that he was no longer hiding his true emotions from her.

“What if I’m a horrible father just like mine was? What if all the hard work in the world won’t change that? And what if our kids have the same problems I do?”

“I know you’re nervous about becoming a father, but I’m scared, too. I wasn’t planning to become a mother yet—or to have two at once. All we can do is make a vow to each other to stick through the good times and the bad and figure everything out together.” She stared into his beautiful dark eyes, knowing it was long past time to say, “Ask me again, Jake.”

“Sophie?”

“Ask me.”

He dropped to one knee at the side of her bed. “Sophie Sullivan, I love you. I’ve always loved you. I always will love you.
Forever.
”

She didn't even try to keep her tears from falling. “I love you, Jake McCann. Always.” She felt the wonder, the magic, the beauty of knowing true love had been waiting for them all along. “
Forever.”

His mouth captured hers in a kiss so sweet her heart soared.

He reached into his pocket and took out a small blue box she couldn’t believe he’d been carrying with him all this time, just in case she was ready to agree to his proposal.

“Marry me, princess.”

His proposal was still more of a demand than a question, but Sophie wouldn’t have Jake any other way. She loved every bossy, sweet, dominant, comforting, overly protective, loving part of Jake’s soul. Sophie had never felt like an outsider in her own family, but until Jake, she’d never truly felt like she belonged, either.

His love had made her whole.

He opened the box to show her the ring and she lost what was left of her breath. “Oh, Jake.” The center stone was a bright, beautiful yellow gem surrounded by a ring of diamonds.

Looking up into his eyes, she smiled even as tears slid down her face. She could never change his past. But with her support—and her boundless love—she hoped that one day he would finally put it behind him, where it belonged.

She had to kiss him, had to hold him, giving him her answer—the
YES
she’d been longing to say all her life to one man, and one man only—from within the warmth of his arms.

* * *

Two months later...

Sophie smiled, happily singing along with one of Nicola’s songs on the radio as she drove from the library to Jake’s house. Even though she’d always been perfectly happy with public transportation, especially in the city, where she could easily get wherever she needed to go, he’d insisted on buying her a car. Life with Jake was sweeter than she could ever have imagined, but given that he was still the dominant man she’d fallen in love with so long ago, she’d quickly learned how to pick her battles. A car wasn’t worth fighting over.

She’d recovered well from the surgery to take out the uterine fibroid, but even though Jake had been loving and just plain wonderful during the past two months, she’d missed the wild part of him. They’d made love, of course, and it had been wonderful, but she could tell he was holding back out of fear that he might hurt her or the babies in some way.

She tilted the rearview mirror down to take one last look at herself before she got out of the car. During her lunch break she’d been inspired to go out and buy a soft pink, long-sleeved dress. Sure, she knew she wouldn’t fit into it in a few weeks, but she loved the way the soft fabric slipped and slid against her skin. It reminded her of the way Jake touched her, so gently, so sweetly...so wickedly.

She’d seduced Jake McCann before, and she was beyond excited about seducing her fiance again. Especially after he’d showed her his new tattoo last night, a Celtic knot that symbolized the never-ending path of life, faith…and love. He’d had the artist thread her name through the design, worn right over his heart.