I Know Who Holds Tomorrow (36 page)

BOOK: I Know Who Holds Tomorrow
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“She will. I just visited her this weekend,” she told them, fear streaking through her.
“She's an old woman, frail, her faculties in question.” Quail smiled his greasy smile. “A judge would see that and overrule her.”
Madison understood immediately. “You'd pay a judge off or get one of your friends to sit on the case.”
The smile slid away. “I'd watch what I say or you'll find yourself being sued.”
Madison ached to hold Manda, but she was too upset. “I won't let you take my baby.”
“You killed my son's baby,” Vanessa raged, her face filled with hatred. “If you had stayed at home like a decent woman our grandchild would be alive.”
“Get out of my house!” Madison said, trembling.
“You won't be allowed to raise that child. I promise you that.” Grabbing her purse, Vanessa left.
Madison looked at A.J. “Why? Why are you doing this?”
He didn't answer, just walked from the room.
“I'm flying to Amarillo tomorrow,” the lawyer told her. “Don't bother packing her things. The Reeds want nothing from you.”
Tears streaming down her check, Madison went to the crib and picked Manda up. Her baby. They were going to take her baby.
 
 
It took Zachary over thirty minutes to get Madison calmed down enough to tell him what had happened. Enraged, he'd called Cordon and asked him to find Camille and come sit with Madison.
“Don't worry. They are not taking Manda.”
Madison couldn't seem to stop the tears. She couldn't stand the thought of Manda not being in her life. “She ceased being Wes's child by his mistress, she's mine now. I can't lose her. I love her too much.”
“You're not,” Zachary said emphatically.
Hope stirred in her eyes. “Their lawyer is going to Amarillo tomorrow.”
“You have to trust me. I'll be back as soon as I can.” Kissing her, he opened the door. “I'll take care of everything.”
“Where are you going?”
“To settle a long overdue debt.”
 
 
Two hours later Zachary stood on the walkway and stared up at the Reeds' imposing white mansion. The antebellum house sat on three acres of prime land. Three hundred feet from the back door a snappy speedboat was docked. To the left and around the house was a five-car garage. Every bay was filled. A.J. sold Mercedes and Cadillacs in his dealerships and he had the top of the line of each, but he also had a Bentley. Vanessa preferred to be chauffeured around in the Rolls.
And, as the old saying went, neither would spit on Zachary if he were on fire.
His large hands clenched and unclenched. He'd lived with that knowledge since he was sixteen. It had eaten at his soul, his pride. Until this moment he'd thought he had dealt with the hurt their rejection and hatred had caused. Now, standing in the twilight, looking at the house where he would never be welcomed, he realized he hadn't.
He'd hidden behind indifference. Lord, help him, he'd even hidden behind his caring for Wes. He'd used Wes to get back at A.J. and Vanessa,
to rub it in their faces that they couldn't shut him out of their lives. He'd been a fool. He just thanked God that he'd come to genuinely care for his brother. The bond between them had proved stronger than the hate.
He'd stood in this very spot years ago, his heart aching because his biological father hadn't wanted him. Now he didn't care. He was finally free. And he'd be damned if they'd ruin Madison and Manda's life as they'd ruined Wes's, tried to ruin his.
Going up the steps, he rapped the brass lion's head on the door. An attractive black woman in a gray maid's uniform answered the door. “Yes, sir?”
“The Reeds at home?” He'd track them down if he had to.
“Yes, sir, but they aren't receiving guests. If you'll—”
Zachary brushed past her. “They'll see me. A.J. where are you?” he called out as he passed through the two-story entryway.
“Sir, you can't come in here!” the maid cried, her rubber-soled shoes slapping against the hardwood floor as she ran behind Zachary as he shoved open one door after the other.
“What the hell—” A.J. came out of the sitting room and abruptly stopped to stare at Zachary.
“Unless you want the maid to hear what I have to say, you'll tell her to find something else to do,” Zachary said.
A.J.'s mouth tightened angrily, but he said, “I'll take care of this.”
The maid looked uneasily at Zachary, then said, “Yes, sir.”
“Wise decision.” Zachary entered the room A.J. had come out of. “Evening, Vanessa.”
Loathing flashed in her eyes. She surged from the silk sofa. “How dare you enter my house! Get out!”
“Believe me, I don't want to be here any more than either of you want me here, but you've gone too far this time,” Zachary said flatly. “To think I was stupid enough to envy Wes.”
“Don't you say his name!” Vanessa ordered, tossing the needlework in her hand aside.
“I'll say whatever I want to.” Zachary's gaze went cold and hard. “You spoiled him, gave him things instead of your time. He grew up thinking he could have anything he wanted, that everyone should treat him the same way. He never learned how to compromise, to give instead of take.”
“My son was the best. He deserved the best,” A.J. insisted.
Zachary shook his head in disgust. “Did you hear what you said? What you both said? Wes was always my son to you he was never our son. You both tugged at him to love one more than the other. You won't get the chance to ruin Manda's life.”
“I'm calling the police.” Vanessa picked up the old-fashioned white phone on the ornate desk.
“Call them, and then I'll have to tell them who my father is. How Wes and I were born an hour apart. Is that what you want your friends at the country club whispering about? I can tell you it isn't a good feeling when you walk into a room and people stop talking. I know.”
Her hand trembling, Vanessa replaced the phone. “Get out!”
“I plan to.” He pulled an envelope from his pocket and removed a sheet of paper from inside. “My lawyer drew this up. Your signature on here will mean that you give up now and in the future any rights to seek custody of Manda. You accept Madison as her legal guardian.”
“I won't sign it!” A.J. shouted. “She's all of Wes we have left.”
Zachary's narrowed gaze swung back to A.J. “How long have you known?”
A.J. went to the bar, poured himself two fingers of scotch, then tossed it down. “Wes came down after she was born. He wanted us to know we had a grandchild.” He tossed down another drink. “She was just some teacher. He couldn't ruin his career and his social standing by acknowledging the baby.”
Zachary had heard it all before. People didn't matter in A.J. and Vanessa's opinion, money and social standing did. “What changed your mind about accepting her now?”
“The house gets lonely and she's all of Wes that's left,” A.J. answered, his shoulders slumped, his face lined. He'd aged since Wes's death. Vanessa's face also showed lines of strain and grief. However, instead of clinging to each other, they chose to inflict pain on Madison.
Zachary didn't doubt the house was lonely. It couldn't be otherwise with two cold people living there. But he also wouldn't put it past Vanessa to want to get back at Madison because she was living and Wes was dead. She wasn't going to use Manda to do it.
“I promised Wes I'd take care of Manda and I intend to keep my promise,” Zachary said, his voice edged with steel. “Manda won't be sacrificed to ward off your loneliness or to hurt Madison. Now sign the paper
or the
Sugarland Gazette
will have a shocking front headline in the morning.”
 
 
He'd done it
.
Madison had sent Gordon and Camille home after Zachary called. Luckily, there were flights to Dallas from Houston every hour and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Too keyed-up to sleep, she decided to put the boxes from the Taylors' house away. Picking one up, she glanced at
Warrior
, the picture of a majestic and fierce Zulu, and thought of Zachary. He certainly had been a warrior for Manda and her. Suddenly she was glad she had kept Wes's art collection. She was keeping
Warrior
and saving the rest for Manda.
Smiling, she continued down the hall to Wes's bedroom where she was storing the boxes. She was carrying the last one when it slipped, spilling the contents.
Squatting, she reached to pick up a book that had fallen open. The name on the page jumped out at her.
Wes
. Her body began to tremble. Slowly she picked up the bound leather volume and looked at the front page.
Bridget Taylor. My Journal
. The words were written in neat, precise script. Madison's breath caught, then trembled out. The decent thing to do would be to put it back in the box, but the lure was too strong.
Madison sat on the floor and started to read.
T
HROUGH THE PAGES, MADISON discovered a shy, sensitive woman who dreamed of finding the right man, a woman who hurt when she didn't have a date for the prom, a woman who lost her virginity her freshman year in college to a callous boy who later bragged of his conquest. Bridget had been hurt, but she hadn't given up on love.
One day I'll find a man to love me, a man who won't leave me like my mother and my father did. I'll find my own special love. I know he's out there. He has to be.
Bridget had met Wes at the San Antonio conference of the National Association of Black Journalists. One of her high-school honors English students had won first prize for best newspaper story and she had gone as his chaperone. Wes had presented the award. Her words were glowing and awestruck in describing him.
Wes Reed is even more handsome and charismatic in person than on television. My heart was heating so fast and loud when he was talking to me after the awards ceremony I was afraid he could hear it. He's charming and intelligent. I thought I'd faint, I was so excited. He's married. I know it's wrong, but I just can't stop thinking about him.
Madison turned the page.
I can't believe it! He asked me to dinner tonight. I accepted. One of the other chaperones is going to watch my student. I'm going to buy a new dress because I want to look pretty for him.
I had a wonderful time. It was the best night of my life. He took me to my first five-star restaurant. The maitre d' and all the waiters acted like we were royalty. I knew it was because of Wes. We had an expensive bottle of champagne. He said the bubbles sparkled like my eyes. He told me I was pretty and smart. It was as if I had waited all my life for him. We came back to my hotel room. He kissed me and I just melted. I couldn't stop. It was too wonderful.
Madison skipped over the intimate details. But at last she knew the answer to another question.
Bridget had known Wes was married. Distraught, she had gone home to Amarillo without hopes of seeing him again. Then she'd found out she was pregnant. The pages clearly showed her panic, her fear of telling Wes, then her hope that he would eventually marry her, her near-depression when he would not.
I know I've disappointed Aunt Velma, but I already love this baby I'm carrying just as I love the father. He didn't trick me or promise me anything. It wasn't his fault. that he thought I was on the pill. I could have stopped him when I saw he didn't have protection. I didn't. I just wanted him to love me.
I just got off the phone with Wes. He begged me not to have an abortion. His wife lost a baby. He said she still grieves. I told him no matter what I'm having the baby and I'll love it. I want our baby. I believe Wes does too. It'll help make up for the one he lost. He also still grieves. I can hear it in his voice.
Madison's hands clenched the diary. Could she really believe Wes had grieved for their child? Was it possible? All this time she'd thought their baby hadn't mattered to him. She'd been mistaken. Why couldn't they have grieved together? Opening the book again, she continued to read.
I'm in labor. I called Wes, but he can't come although he promised me he'd be with me. I'm afraid, but he said he's sending his best friend. He's already booked a flight from Dallas.
“You weren't able to keep your promise to either of us,” Madison whispered. There was no bitterness in her voice, just acceptance that Wes had shirked his responsibilities to both of them. He was charming … and weak.
Madison turned the page to see which one of his cronies he'd sent in his place. She expected to see the name of one of his golfing buddies. She blinked. That couldn't be right. Hands trembling, she held the book closer and reread the entry.
Zachary is here, but it won't make up for Wes not being with me. I miss him so much.
Zachary
. A crippling pain swept through Madison
Zachary had stayed with Bridget, coached her during her long labor, taken her and Manda home from the hospital. In the months that followed, he'd returned at least once a month to see that they were all right. He'd been the one to pay for Miss Taylor's eye examination, the one to help Bridget find a nursing facility for the elderly woman, the one to install central air when their window unit stopped working.
He'd been the one Bridget called when she needed help.
He'd known all along. He'd lied to her.
Betrayal
. Madison closed her eyes, but was unable to keep them closed or stop from reading.
The last notation was of Bridget coming to Dallas to visit Wes. Bridget had accepted that Wes would never leave his wife and marry her. But she was going to do her best to see that her daughter knew her father.
 
 
Simmering with anger, Madison was waiting for Zachary when he arrived late that night. He had played her for a fool. Just as Wes had. More so because, as much as she had once loved Wes, she loved Zachary more.
She stepped back when he reached for her, angrily shoving a bulging duffel bag against his chest. “Take your things and get out.”
Clearly stunned, he let the bag drop to the floor. “Madison, what's the matter?”
Her hand trembling, she shoved the book at Zachary.
“What's that?” he asked.
“What's that?” she retorted. “Bridget's journal, that's what! I know. I know everything. All about Wes and Bridget. All about you being there for Manda's birth, the trips to Amarillo. The deceit. The lies.”
“Oh no,” he groaned. “Madison, please let me explain.”
She evaded the hands reaching for her. “You knew everything and you never told me! You're as big a liar as he was!”
“I love you,” he pleaded, his face pinched, his body trembling, his world turn upside down.
She laughed raggedly. “You don't know what love is. Get out and don't come back.”
“I didn't tell you for this very reason,” he tried to explain. “Please understand. I knew how you'd react. I know I waited too long and I'm sorry, but please listen to me.”
“I've listened to enough lies.” Stepping around him, she opened the door wider. “Leave and don't come back. This time I will call the police.”
He didn't move. “Wes was my brother. Manda was my niece. I couldn't turn my back on either of them. Then he was gone and Manda needed you.” His voice softened. “You needed each other. You would have never let either of us stay if you'd known, then I fell in love with you and was scared of losing you.”
“You don't know what love it,” she said, her voice shaking. “Love means being honest, trusting, sharing. Things you know nothing about!”
“Pl—”
“No! No more. I'll never forgive you,” she said, tears streaming down her cheek. “
You knew!
You knew everything and you never told me!”
“Please try to understand why I did what I did. Please believe I love you,” he said, his face ravaged with anguish and remorse.
Madison shook her head. The ache inside was so devastating she couldn't speak for the pain.
“Talk to me,” Zachary begged. “Don't do the same thing to me you did to Wes. Don't shut me out.”
She gasped. “How dare you!”
“I dare because I love you and I'll be damned if I'll let you get away.
Did you ever think if you had reached out to Wes things might have been different? By your own admission you shut your emotions down because you didn't want to feel. You shut him out. You didn't share your grief. You gave up on your marriage, on him.”
“He didn't want to talk about the baby,” she said, her voice trembling with remembered grief and anger.
“Because he thought men weren't supposed to show their emotions.” Zachary leaned his face closer to hers. “You're slicing me apart, Madison. I hurt. Don't shut me out. Don't do this to me. To us. Fight, hit, scream, whatever it takes, but please don't shut me out. Talk!”
“You hurt me!” she blurted, hating the scalding tears that streamed down her cheek, wanting to hate him just as much. She couldn't. “I've been unbelievably stupid to let two men, two brothers, lie to me, and I swallowed every word.”
He grabbed her and held on when she tried to twist free. “You know I love you!”
Miserable, she shook her head. “I don't know anything anymore.”
His hands fell, away from her. “You're tired. Go to bed.”
“I don't want to go to bed!” she retorted, swiping a hand across her wet cheeks.
Zachary held out his handkerchief. “What do you want to do?”
She sniffed again, but she had fire in her eyes when she answered. “Drive your truck into the Trinity River.”
He handed her his keys. “I'll get Manda. Lord knows how we'll get back.”
Her hand clamped around the key ring. “You'd let me, wouldn't you?”
He stared down at her with unwavering love. “Haven't you learned I'd do anything for you?”
Once, she believed that was true. Now she wasn't sure what she thought or felt. Exhausted, she brushed the last lingering tear away, pushed the keys back into his hands, tried and failed to ignore the pleasure that raced though her at the brief touch. “Just go.”
“I won't let you push me out of your life. I'm not losing you. I'm coming back in the morning and we're going to talk.”
He stared at her, daring her to refuse. Madison said nothing.
“Believe me, this isn't over.” Taking an envelope from his pocket, he held it out to her. “Here, you'll need this for Manda.”
Too tired to respond, she simply took it from his hand.
Turning away, he left, closing the door softly behind him.
Madison stared at the closed door. Bridget had taken two men from her. First Wes, then Zachary.
Fighting more tears, she turned and saw the duffel bag on the floor. She picked it up and buried her tear-streaked face against the rough fabric. How could he have betrayed her when she loved him so much?
“Oh my god,” she moaned. She lifted her head abruptly. Had she told him? Surely she had. She recalled all the times he'd told her he loved her, but try as she might, she couldn't remember her telling him.
Not once.
She told herself she should be glad. At least her pride wasn't totally shattered. But then she remembered how giving Zachary had been. How eager to give her what she needed, what she wanted. Her hands on the bag clenched. The envelope crackled. She stared at it, wondering if she should just toss it. She didn't want anything from him. She didn't need him. She could take care of Manda by herself. Couldn't she?
Sniffling she dropped the duffel bag, then opened the envelope and pulled out a legal document. Her hands began to tremble.
A.J. and Vanessa had signed over any claims to Manda. They agreed that the baby should remain in Madison's custody and care. The names of two witnesses were at the bottom. Betty Spears, the maid, and Zachary Holman.
Even as she rejoiced that she wasn't going to lose Manda, Madison thought of the one person who had made it possible.
Zachary
. She had no doubt that she would have lost Manda if he hadn't intervened.
Once again, he had moved heaven and earth to take care of them. Madison's hand tunneled through her hair. Was Zachary right? Would things have been different if she had pulled herself out of her own pain and misery and anger at Wes long enough to reach out to him? Would he have turned to her? Would they have helped each other to heal?
Fresh tears formed on her lashes. She had no way of knowing. She
did
know that she hadn't tried very hard. Zachary
was
right. She had enclosed herself in her grief and hurt to the exclusion of everything and everyone. She'd pushed Wes out of her life just as she had pushed Zachary away.

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