I Know Who Holds Tomorrow (28 page)

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Authors: Francis Ray

BOOK: I Know Who Holds Tomorrow
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She was silent for a long while. There was something that had been nagging her. “Did … Did Wes ever say to you that I tried to hold him back? That I was jealous?”
He seriously considered lying. After all, what was one more lie, especially when the truth would hurt. He couldn't. She had been lied to enough. “You made more money than Wes, had more popularity. For a man like Wes, who had always been at the top, it was hard to take at times.”
“So his mother told the truth,” she said in a choked whisper.
His callused fingers flexed on her bare arm. “Wes was never a patient person. He never had to be. What he wanted, his parents got him. His
charms and intelligence got the rest. He admired you, was proud of your accomplishments, but was anxious to make his own mark, be recognized for his own accomplishments.”
“She mentioned divorce. Did he sav he wanted to divorce me? Was he going to marry Manda's mother?”
“He never mentioned divorce, Madison. He might not have liked standing in your shadow, but his popularity was linked to yours.”
Feeling foolish and gullible, she glanced away. “So he used both of us to get what he wanted and I let him.” Her voice was tinged with weariness.
Zachary saw her slumped shoulders and did what he had wanted to do since he'd arrived; he pulled her into his arms. “It's over, Madison.”
She leaned closer into the shelter of his embrace, listened to the comforting beat of his heart. “A.J. said his fraternity is establishing a scholarship at Wes's high school.”
“Wes told me a lot of times that he wished he'd see more black faces in journalism.”
It hit her all at once. She twisted until she could stare up into Zachary's face. “You were behind his fraternity starting the scholarship fund, weren't you?”
“Doesn't matter who started it, just that it gets done.”
Simple answer from a complex man. Wes's parents disliked Zachary intensely. He didn't seem particularly fond of them, either. Yet he had gone to great measures to ensure that neither Wes nor his dream would be forgotten. She settled back against his wide chest, snuggling to get more comfortable. “I'll contact his boss and mine. I'm sure they'd like to contribute and get the word out.”
His hand rubbed up and down her arm. “Like I said, you're quite a woman.”
She yawned and placed her feet on the hassock.
“Go to sleep,” he murmured into her hair.
“If you're staying up, then so am I.” She yawned again. “How was work today?”
Her breath heated his skin where his shirt was open. “Fine.”
She angled her head up to ask him another question and discovered their lips were a sigh apart. They froze. Their breaths mingled. A sweet yearning coursed through her. Without thought she moved closer. Their
lips met with the gossamer touch of butterfly wings. The kiss gradually deepened by slow, aching degrees. Their tongues stroked, feasted, mated.
Pleasure curled through her, tempting her, luring her. She wanted to get closer. No, she
had
to. She twisted her body more fully toward his, her leg shifting … and froze. His hard arousal pulsed against her thigh. Her eyes popped open. She scrambled to her feet.
“I—I'm sorry … I didn't—You'll be more comfortable by yourself.” Shaken, embarrassed, Madison hurried to the bathroom. Closing the door, she leaned against it. Her breathing was erratic, her heart thumped wildly in her chest. She pressed trembling fingers against her moist, kiss-swollen lips and all she could think of was that she'd never felt more alive or more frightened in her life.
What was she doing? What must he think of her? Going to the sink she splashed cold water on her face. It did nothing to cool the fires in her blood. She was deeply attracted to Zachary. Wanted him. But how could she, so soon after her husband's death? And just what kind of woman did that make her?
Zachary sat on the side of the love seat, his fists clenched. He wanted Madison like hell burning. It took all his control not to kick the bathroom door down and take her. She'd been so sweet, so responsive. He hadn't dared let himself hope. And she had run from him. His head fell forward in regret and despair. He hadn't wanted that.
He should have known what might happen if she got too close. The last thing he wanted was for her to be wary of him.
The door finally opened. The light was out in the bathroom. He could only make out the faint outline of her body as she moved across the room and climbed into bed. She didn't say anything and he didn't know what he could say. All he knew was that their relationship had changed, and not for the better.
Z
ACHARY HADN'T EXPECTED TO get much sleep and he hadn't. He was too conscious of Madison several feet away, the whisper of bedcovers as she tossed restlessly during the night. He was awake when the first orange-yellow streak of gold lit the day. When Manda finally roused, he was there to lift her out of the crib by the time she had pulled her knees under her.
She grinned at him, showing off a shining new tooth in her bottom gum. At least one of his ladies wasn't upset with him. “Good morning, munchkin.”
She patted his cheeks.
“Glad to see you're feeling better. Let's get you changed and go get breakfast. We'll let Madison sleep.”
“I'm awake.” Her hair mussed, her clothes rumpled from sleeping in them, she slipped out of bed, her expression cautious.
Zachary's gut clenched. He had put that look in her eyes. “I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean for that to happen.”
She glanced away. “It's forgotten.” Crossing the room, she stopped an arm's length away and reached out for Manda. “'Morning, sweetheart.”
The sinking sensation in his gut became worse when he handed the baby to Madison and noticed that she no longer wore her bracelet from Tiffany's. “I'll go start breakfast.”
“That won't be necessary.” Her gaze bounced to him, then away. “We can manage.
He decided not to press the issue. “I'll stop by later today.”
“I'll be pretty busy working on scripts for the next season.”
She was pushing him away. His fault. “I'll see you Monday, or will you be busy then?”
“I expect I'll become busier, but you can always come by to see Manda or pick her up.”
For a long time he studied her. “Are you scared of me, or yourself?”
“Very few things scare me.” Clasping Manda tightly, she went to the changing table, keeping her back to him, hoping he didn't see that her hands were trembling. “I'd see you out, but I need to change Manda.”
“All right, Madison. Have it your way for the time being. You know how to reach me.” He clenched his jaw.
“Good-bye, Zachary.”
“Not by a long shot,” he warned.
Madison stiffened. When she looked up he was gone, and she had never felt more miserable or more alone in her life.
 
 
Gordon knew it might happen, but he hadn't expected it to happen so soon. Forty minutes after they had left the brunch at Antares, he was still smoldering.
“You aren't going to forget it, arc you?” Camille asked, sitting beside him in the passenger waiting area of Southwest Airlines.
Gordon folded his arms. “I doubt if the shoe were on the other foot, you'd be so glib about it.”
Camille knew a man's ego was as fragile as a woman's. “He apologized and, after the dressing-down you gave him, I don't think he'll jump to conclusions like that again.”
The muscle in Gordon's jaw jerked. He could still hear the maître d's words.
“
Would you like a table for you and your daughter, sir
?” He'd never been so embarrassed in his life. He'd looked forward to seeing Camille again, felt young, until the careless words of the maître d'at Antares had brought him crashing back to reality.
“I'm twenty-three years older than you are,” he muttered.
“The age difference didn't bother you last night,” she said with an impish smile.
“We both know why,” he said, aware of the crowded waiting area.
Camille leaned closer, by accident or by design letting him feel the softness of her breast and catch a whiff of her perfume. “Has something changed I don't know about?”
Gordon went from annoyed to lusting in an instant. “If we weren't here, I'd answer that for you.”
Laughing, Camille stood and reached for her roll-on luggage. She'd been right, seeing Gordon was going to be fun. No attachments, no broken hearts when they said good-bye. “I'll have to take a rain check. They just called my flight.”
Gordon came to his feet with a disgruntled look on his face. “You think I'm being foolish?”
She stuck her tongue in her cheek. “You really expect me to answer that and then get on a plane?”
“No.”
“Good.” Leaning over, she brushed her lips across his cheek. “See you Wednesday night.” Then she was merging with the other passengers.
Gordon waved good-bye as she went though the door to board. His hands deep in his pocket, he went to his car. He hadn't told Camille the entire reason the man's words bothered him. His age was part of it, but it tied in directly with his ability to keep her satisfied in bed and out.
He hadn't had sexual relations in over two years, but he hadn't worried about his performance in bed … until the maitre d's blunder. What if he couldn't satisfy her? How embarrassing would that be for both of them? Then, too, he tended to be a homebody. Women Camille's age wanted to go out, party, do things, meet people. If he wasn't working or at some speaking engagement, he was at home. The twins referred to him as “the only walking, breathing fossil.”
Unlocking his car, he got in and backed out. He'd let his desire for Camille cloud his usual practical judgment. He had to think this through before she returned and he humiliated himself.
 
 
Monday morning Zachary was the first person to work at seven-ten. By seven fifty-five all of his crew was there except Kelli and Clarence. The men were colorful and descriptive as to the reason the two were late.
At eight-thirteen Kelli whirled her aged truck into the ungraded front yard of the 5,500-square-foot house and came to a dusty stop. Slamming
out of the truck, she passed him at a fast clip. Words of apology flowed from her mouth. Seconds later Clarence's dented Buick came to a stop beside Kelli's truck. He was just as apologetic as he tried to strap on his tool belt and run at the same time.
It didn't take much imagination to realize why they were late or why they arrived directly behind each other, especially since they lived in different cities and had the slumberous satisfied look of being well loved in their eyes.
Zachary picked up the sanding pads from the back of his truck and went inside. The chances of him ever putting that look in Madison's eyes were slim to none. At least until he came clean with her. But if she thought she was going to keep him out of her life, she was wrong.
He caught his men nudging each other as Kelli and Clarence walked through their work area, but no one said anything to either of them. They admired and respected Kelli. They also knew she had a devious mind and would think of an ingenious way to pay them back, which placed Clarence off-limits as well.
However, an hour later problems arose between the couple. “I'm perfectly capable of getting off a ladder by myself,” Kelli snapped when Clarence tried to help her down the last three rungs.
“I was—”
“—Being an ass,” she finished. Neither seemed to notice men making themselves scarce. “I've been doing this before you got here and will still be doing it after you're gone. I don't need you.”
Clarence's head snapped back as if she had slapped him. The wounded look on his face said he'd have much preferred the slap to the words. Silently he turned and walked away with his head hanging, his big feet dragging.
Kelli reached for him, her lower lip tucked between her teeth. Shaking her head, she went back to work.
Witnessing the incident made Zachary think of Madison. Women wanted their independence. Men felt the need to protect. It was a fine line to walk.
Hadn't he called a friend of his who owned a takeout deli downtown near her TV station and ordered Madison's lunch? As upset with him as she was, she might toss it. He hoped not. He had no doubt she'd take care if Manda, but what about herself? He'd pushed himself into her life
with half-truths and promises. She'd accepted his help, but occasionally she wanted to go it alone. He admired her for her strength as much as he loved her, and it could all blow up in his face.
“I don't know what to do, boss.” Clarence wore a bleak expression, his hands pushed deep into the pockets of his worn denims.
Zachary cut off the sander and lifted his goggles. He could empathize with him. “Go tell Kelli I want you to work with me today.”
Clarence hesitated. “We're supposed to hang the cabinets in the master bathroom.”
“I'm still the boss around here. Besides, I think it's time you learned that you might never understand a woman. All you can do is love them.”
“But is that enough?” he asked, his thin shoulders slumped.
“If you do it the right way. it is.”
Clarence whipped his hands out of his pockets, hope shining in his eyes. “I'll go tell her.”
Zachary went back to sanding the cabinet. Sometimes all you had was your love. Nobody ever said it would be easy.
 
 
Madison went to work Monday morning with none of the enthusiasm she had anticipated before The Incident, as she preferred to think of the kiss. Getting out of the limo with Manda, she had to make herself keep walking. Perhaps keeping busy would help. Thinking about it certainly hadn't. Nor had Zachary coming over Sunday to take Manda to the park. Her awareness of him was driving her crazy and giving her one of her famous headaches.
Greeting the receptionist and the security guard, Madison continued to her office. Inside, she was glad to see that at least the playpen and daybed she'd ordered were there, the electrical outlets covered, the cords to her draperies and blinds out of reach, the spot empty where her philodendron once thrived. The big-leaf ivy was on top of her file cabinet. Whenever Manda was on the floor she liked to investigate, and had eyes like an eagle.
“Thank you, Traci, everything looks perfect,” she said to her assistant, then sat behind her desk with Manda still in her arms. Her desk looked bare without the computer, printer, and all their hanging cords. They were now housed in a console against the wall.
“Mr. Bills said to tell you he'd vacuumed the carpet in your office twice. There isn't anything that Manda might pick up and put in her mouth,” Traci said, her pad in her hands. “He'd said he'd come by later to see if there was anything else you needed.”
“I can't think of a thing.” Handing Manda the teething ring, Madison flipped though her day planner. “Let's start to work on lining up the guests for the programs for the sweeps in September. Let's take them week by week. Any problems with the first show?”
Traci hesitated. She hugged her steno pad to her chest.
“Yes?”
“The first one is ‘Couples in the Public Eye.' You still want to do that one, or push it back farther in the season?”
Madison had forgotten about that show. The president of the station had wanted this one. He was well aware that the public loved to take a peek into the private lives of celebrities. He'd suggested Wes come on the show with her. It would have been the first time that they would have shared live airtime. It had been promoted that way. Without asking, she knew the ads had been pulled.
“It's all right, Traci,” Madison said. “If all the couples are confirmed, we'll do it as scheduled. Check and double-check to make sure we have any special requests for their hotel room or for the guest lounge of the studio.”
“You're so brave,” Traci said with open admiration.
If you only knew,
Madison thought. “What's the next show?”
 
 
Gordon loved his job. He'd loved it when things came together and the station was alive with activity as it was today. Peeking into Madison's office, he waved as she glanced up from talking with the segment producer. Frowning, he continued to his office. Her smile was there, but it didn't have the sparkle it had the other day. Manda, he noted, was asleep in her Port-a-crib.

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