I Know Who Holds Tomorrow (20 page)

BOOK: I Know Who Holds Tomorrow
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“Hello,” she said, shifting the baby's weight in her arms.
“Mrs. Reed, please,” requested a pleasant-sounding male voice.
“Speaking,” she said.
“Good morning, Mrs. Reed, this is Don Coggins with the
Atlanta Herald
. I was a great admirer of your husband's work. He was one of the best.”
Madison frowned. He could be telling the truth or blowing smoke. Reporters often flattered you to catch you off-guard, then went for the
jugular. She glanced down at Manda. “Yes. Thank you for the call, but I'm rather busy at the moment.”
“With the baby you have custody of, I bet. Her name is Manda, isn't it?
“Yes,” Madison answered simply.
“That's wonderful,” he said in a conversational tone. “I was thinking about doing a piece on the two of you. I could be there with a photographer tomorrow, if that's convenient. The wonderful way you've channeled your grief into helping Manda is heartwarming. Your courage is commendable.”
At the moment Madison felt far from courageous, then she looked into Manda's face. The smile of a moment ago was gone. She had picked up on Madison's distress. She wouldn't like being subjected to the probing stares of strangers, either. “Don't worry, Manda.”
“Mrs. Reed?”
“I really have to go. I appreciate your kind words about Wes, but I feel that in Manda's best interests, she should be kept out of the media.”
“But your agent Lou—”
“I've stated my wishes, Mr. Coggins. If you admired Wes as much as you say, you'll respect his memory and find another story.”
“Others reporters might not be so reasonable,” he said, his tone threatening, then it softened to cajoling. “Wouldn't it be best for all concerned if you did an interview and answered all the questions?”
“The questions anyone might ask are of no concern to me. Manda's well-being is. Good-bye, Mr. Coggins. Have a nice day.” Madison hung up the phone, considered taking it off the hook, but instead went to her bedroom and turned on the answering machine. The phone rang almost immediately. The caller ID read: OUT OF AREA.
So it has started
.
Sitting down on the bed, Madison pulled her cell phone out of her purse, dialed. Her call promptly went into voice mail. Not discouraged, she hung up and tried again. Voice mail. The fourth time he picked up.
“Yeah?” Zachary barked.
Madison jumped. Manda's eyes widened.
He was speaking again almost immediately. “Listen, I'm sorry I snapped at you. There's no excuse, but I was trying to finish an inspection under an old house. How can I help you?”
“I didn't mean to disturb you,” Madison finally said.
“Madison, what's the matter?” he asked, walking a short distance from the eagle eye of the elderly woman who owned the three-story house in need of major renovations if it was to be around for another seventy-five years. “Do you need me to come over?”
Once again Zachary had put her needs ahead of his job. No matter how unfair it was for her to compare, she couldn't imagine Wes ever thinking about leaving a project he was working on because she needed him. He hadn't the day she had lost their child.
She'd tried to tell him she was feeling off. She couldn't put her finger on the cause, she had just know something was wrong. He'd patted her on the head and told her not to worry, then left for his interview in New York with a Jamaican drug lord. As was his practice, Wes had turned his cell phone off so he wouldn't be disturbed while doing the interview.
By the time the interview was over and he'd turned the phone back on, five hours had passed and Madison was out of surgery. Wes received an Emmy nomination for his investigative report.
“I'm on my way,” Zachary said when she remained silent. “I'm in Forney and it'll take at least forty-five minutes to get there.”
“No,” she finally managed to say. “I'm—
we're
all right. A reporter called from the
Atlanta Herald
. He got a little pushy, that's all.”
“I'd like to push my fist in his face for upsetting you,” Zachary said, his voice a low growl.
Madison felt a pleasant flutter in her chest. She'd never had a man who wanted to champion her before. The idea was strange and very appealing. “I took care of it, but it's not going to stop. The calls will keep coming.”
“Hmm,” he said. “You'll handle them.”
She leaned her head against Manda's. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Anytime,” he said, with a smile in his voice.
Madison felt her own mouth curve into a smile. “I'd better let you get back to work.”
“Sorry about before. You did right to keep on calling. I'd turn off the voice mail, but—”
“You'd spend the day answering the phone instead of getting anything done. I understand. I'm just glad you're there when I need you.”
“About time you realized I'm not going anywhere.”
Madison felt the weight of his words unfurl softly inside her. “Good-bye.” Turning the phone's ringer off, she pulled back the duvet and stretched across the bed with Manda tucked beside her. The baby rubbed her eye with one chubby hand, clutching her teething ring in the other.
“I'm not going to leave you, Manda,” Madison whispered. “You're safe. I'm not going to leave you.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Madison realized she had spoken the truth. There had been enough upheavals in the baby's short life. Madison wouldn't put her through any more. And … perhaps they did need each other.
Placing a protective arm around the baby, Madison pulled her even closer, intending to rest just for a moment. Just before she drifted off to sleep she remembered Zachary's last words and smiled.
“I'm not going anywhere.”
W
HEN ZACHARY FINALLY FREED himself from two demanding clients it was six-thirty in the evening. He wasn't happy about the lateness of his arrival at Madison's house. After her phone call he'd planned on being there earlier. True, he had competent people working for him, but there were certain responsibilities he couldn't pass on. The owners of homes starting in the high six figures expected the owner of the company to show up if there was a question or concern. In the past he hadn't minded. Now, he had to keep reminding himself that they had a right to his time.
His first sight of Madison had relieved some of the tension nipping at his heels since her call, but not all. She'd explained about having to leave her car and they'd gone to retrieve it.
Returning to the house, at Zachary's suggestion, they listened to the messages on her answering machine. There were ten in all. Two from telemarketers and eight from the print media or TV stations. Madison pushed ERASE and left the machine on.
“You might want to monitor them in case the call is important.”
Madison sighed and folded her arms. “I've already decided to do just that. I'd better go check on dinner. It's time for Manda to eat. She had a late lunch so we're a little behind.”
“I'll feed her then take her outside to the swing.” Holding a babbling Manda, Zachary followed Madison out of the room.
“She'd like that,” Madison answered, continuing down the hall.
Watching Madison closely, Zachary followed her back into the kitchen. She seemed preoccupied and it was more than the reporters. He didn't know if that boded bad or good. Rather than try to guess what was
on her mind and put his foot in his mouth again, he decided to wait.
And wait he did, through Manda's dinner and her playtime. Instead of joining them as he had hoped, Madison remained inside. Returning later with a sleepy Manda, he saw Madison setting the kitchen table. “I didn't mean to keep you from dinner.”
She glanced up as she placed a bright red oversized plate on a placemat. “You're not. I hope you'll join me. Meat loaf, cabbage, cornbread. I felt like eating something different.”
Comfort food
, Zachary thought. “Thanks. I'll put Manda down and come back to help.”
“You'll come back and sit down.” Madison put the flatware on the table, then came across the room to smile at a sleepy Manda. “She's already had her bath and her nightgown is on her bed. Can you handle it?”
“A cinch since she's almost asleep,” he said with a grin. Madison smiled back up at him and his heart pounded. Abruptly he turned away. “Be back in a jiffy.”
Madison watched him go and wondered about the strange look that had come over his face, then dismissed it. It was probably just her own nervousness. By the time she had put the serving dishes on the table, Zachary had returned. He held the chair out for her, then bowed his head to bless their food. Zachary was definitely old-fashioned in the nicest ways.
“So, why were you under an old house?” she asked, filling his glass with iced tea.
“Thanks.” He spread his napkin. “Since I restored the house I live in, I've started to gain a bit of a reputation. Mrs. Rice's family has lived in the house for three generations. She's eighty-five, and sharp as a tack. Her children and grandchildren have no interest in a house in the country, but she doesn't want it to fall down or be torn down after she's gone. I'm considering buying it and restoring it.”
“I love old houses.” She piled food high on his plate. “I've always wanted to live in a two-story.”
Zachary's brow furrowed as he accepted the plate she handed him. Had Wes known? Probably, Zachary thought. Wes tended to indulge himself rather than others. But that had been the way his parents raised him. They had led him to believe what he wanted far outweighed the needs or desires of others. He'd been taught to equate possessions with love.
Caring about Wes would have been impossible if Zachary hadn't known his background.
“Hers is three-story with pinewood floors, a mahogany staircase, and double windows that wrap around the house. Despite the disrepair, the house is structurally sound. I'll take you to see it if she sells it to me.”
“I'd like that.” She took a sip of her iced tea. “When will you know?”
“She said she'd call this week. Unlike Mrs. Otis, Mrs. Rice can make a decision and stick to it.” He took a bite of meatloaf and nodded his head appreciatively. “This is good.”
“Thanks.”
“That's why I was late. Mrs. Otis now
thinks
she wants rose marble in the guest bath instead of black. Mr. Otis promised to keep her away until the house is finished.”
“Do you think he can?” She sprinkled croutons on her green salad.
“He's crazy about her, so I have my doubts.” He picked up a cornbread muffin. “She can twist him around her little finger.”
“That's the way it should be,” Madison said, with only a slight wistfulness in her voice. She caught Zachary's concerned look and rushed on to say, “From what you said, your mother and stepfather are the same way. How did they meet?”
He smiled in remembrance. “A leaky roof brought them together. April showers may bring spring flowers, but it also brings misery to a family with a leaking roof and no money for repair. Mama worked at the university and attended classes there in the evening while I stayed at a center on campus for the children of students.”
The bread was forgotten in his large hand. “She'd just finished her sophomore year in college when I was born. It took her three more years to get her degree in English. Another three for her master's. She did it all without help from anyone. By the time she finished she was bogged down in debt from student loans and all the other bills. After she got pregnant with me, her parents wanted nothing to do with her. They didn't change their mind after I was born.”
There was no bitterness in his voice. It was as if he was telling someone's else story. Madison couldn't imagine what it would have been like not to have the support of her large, extended family while she was growing up.
She'd always known she was loved and wanted, known that she had
people she could turn to. it was only as an adult that foolish pride, then concern about her mother's health had kept her from being truthful about her troubled marriage. But if she had, she knew with certainty that her family would have been there for her.
“Mama had managed to buy a house, and coming home from work one afternoon she saw Jim working on the roof of a house in the neighborhood and stopped to ask if he'd come and give her an estimate.” A slow smile kicked up the corners of Zachary's mouth. “To this day she still says that she almost didn't stop because she had no idea how she'd pay for it, but it had rained the night before and we had to set out every pot we had in the house to catch the water. She was desperate.”
“So he fixed the roof?
“More than the roof; he fixed Mama's heart.” Pensive, Zachary stared across the table at Madison. “Her heart was probably just as worn and in need of repair. The man who fathered me was long gone by then. Jim was good for her, for us. His parents were the same way. They accepted us from the first. So did his brothers and sisters.” His mouth tightened. “The people who should have loved me didn't.”
“Their loss,” Madison said, feeling sorry for the little boy wanting to be loved and not understanding why he wasn't.
“Yeah, but growing up I always wondered what was wrong with me. Then in the third grade I found out from an older boy in my school the reason my grandparents wanted nothing to do with me. Why I didn't have a father around like most of the other kids.” His face became shadowed.
Without thought, Madison reached across the table and covered his hand with hers. “If you still believe that, you're not the man I've grown to depend on these past weeks.”
His head came up. His large hand turned, clasping hers gently. “No. I don't believe it. Being loved by my mother, Jim, and his family helped. Even when I started acting up as a teenager and was angry with everything and everyone, especially Mama and Jim, I knew deep down they loved me.”
“Yes, being loved helps.” Feeling heat radiating from their clasped hands and a strangeness she didn't understand, Madison pulled her hand free, then took another sip of tea to ease her suddenly dry throat. “I want to discuss Manda with you.”
The meat loaf he'd swallowed settled heavily in his stomach. “Yes?”
Madison correctly read the wariness in his black eyes. Funny, she had never noticed how dark they were or how long the thick lashes were. Silently chastising herself for letting her mind wander, she said, “She needs to grow more comfortable with being separated from us. Today is a perfect example. She has to stay in her car seat.”
Zachary's shoulders settled against the back of his chair. “Give her time.”
Madison shook her head. “I don't think that will help.” She took a deep breath. “I think she needs to be around other children.”
He shot forward in his chair. “You want to put her in day care?”
“Day cares are fine, but that's not what I want to propose.” Putting her arm on the table, she leaned forward. “I want us to take her to visit the families of your friends, like the ones who came by Saturday to put up the swing,” she explained patiently.
The tension seeped from his body. “I don't see that as being a problem.”
“Good.” Madison picked up her fork. “The sooner we can visit would probably be better. Until she learns that she's not going to be abandoned, I can't take her anyplace by myself.”
“You should have called me today.”
She waved his words aside. “We managed and I'm not helpless.”
“I never thought that.” He picked up his glass of iced tea. “I still hate to see you both confined all day. Do you have friends with children who could come over here during the day?”
Madison's gaze flickered to his face, then away. “It's best if she goes out.”
He considered her for a long time. He didn't like to keep pushing, but someone had to. “Is that the only reason we're seeing my friends and not yours?”
She sat the glass carefully back down on the table and barely kept from sighing. He saw through her too easily. “I didn't want my close friends to know my marriage was in trouble so I drifted away from them. I have lots of acquaintances and associates, but no close women friends I can talk to, confide in.” Her expression saddened.
“Only you can change that.”
She looked at him, really looked at him. The patient eyes, the strong jaw, the mobile lips. He was handsome, caring, and dependable. He could
probably have his pick of women. Yet here he was with her as he had been for the past three weeks. It appeared when Zachary took on a responsibility, he didn't so do lightly. “Maybe you should be the host. You have a way of helping people help themselves.”
His strong face clouded. He drew back his hand. “Don't pin any medals on me, Madison.”
She couldn't tell if he was embarrassed or troubled. She chose to think it was the former. “I will if I want.” With a self-satisfied smile on her face, she began to eat.
 
 
Later that night Zachary stood at his bedroom window staring out at nothing in particular. His thoughts veered back to Madison, when they had been sitting at the table. She trusted him and was beginning to see him as her friend, not just a friend of Wes's. It was in her eyes, in the unconscious touch of her hand to comfort him.
And he had betrayed her.
The thought, once a small prick to his conscience, had become a jagged plunge that caused him to struggle daily with his decision. He hadn't done it lightly. At the time he had had no choice. He had willingly walked into the storm. The trouble was, he still didn't have a choice.

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