I Hear...Love (A Different Road #2) (13 page)

“So, have you done any thinking about what you might want to do about Mason Group?” I ask.

“No, I figured I’d tackle one problem at a time. I’m not actually sure just what I can do,” she says.

After thirty minutes, I pull the car over at an outdoor burger stand, we get out, walk up to the window and order. We take our food over to a picnic table facing the ocean. Kate sits on the top with her feet on the seat and eats her grilled chicken sandwich. As the sun sets, she looks at the horizon and shoves french fry after french fry into her mouth. I can’t help but notice a few of the worry lines she normally has on her forehead have softened, just a little bit. Her beautiful soul that normally hides behind her mask, shines through like bright rays of sunshine. Her kaleidoscope of emotions, like the waves of the ocean, are calm.

We walk back to the car and I hold open her door for her. She gives me a kiss before she takes her seat, then I close her door. Sadie jumps in my seat, then climbs over the console to the back and we head home.

I pull into the driveway, then shut off the car. I think today has been the most fun I’ve had since I moved to California.

Kate gets out of the car and we head into the house. I feed Sadie her dinner, then she places her bowl in the dishwasher.

“I should get home. We both have to work tomorrow,” she says.

I lean down and pat Sadie on the side and say, “See you in the morning, girl.”

Kate’s face lights up and she smiles. I’m pretty sure Kate and I now share custody of my dog. I don’t think Sadie wants to sleep with me anymore. I wonder if she hogs the majority of Kate’s bed too.

I kiss Kate, then watch them walk down the beach together, back to her house.

It’s dark out, but as I reach the halfway point of the steps leading up to the deck, I lift up on my tip toes and peer up to see if River is standing there. I don’t see him. At the top, I scan the shadows of the deck and still don’t see him.

Sadie stops in her tracks and doesn’t take another step, then I hear one of the doors to River’s house close. He was waiting for me to come home.

I place a fresh bowl of water on the floor in the kitchen for Sadie, then I get ready for bed. As I climb in bed with my headphones on, my mind again begins to wander. When the judge removes River’s conservatorship, what if it makes him mad and he kicks me out of the pool house? He wouldn’t do that, would he? I’m bringing in a steady paycheck now that I work at Mason Group, but I have no savings at all. I could never afford my own place.

What about Maddy? I wonder if she’d like a roommate? No, that won’t work. She lives in that house as a perk for working at California Chef. Joss and Nina own the house. I could never put Joss in that position.

I have some serious research to do. I should look into how much an apartment is. A car, too. I have a lot of good things going on with living here. I don’t have any bills, I don’t cook any of my meals, and I have a chauffeur. Am I making a huge mistake?

Sadie wiggles next to my side and places her head on my chest. I bring my hand to the side of her face and pet her silky smooth fur. Soon I fall asleep.

The next morning, Sadie and I wake up, and I make some coffee and a breakfast smoothie. We head out to the deck and do yoga side-by-side for an hour. I love that Sadie tries to copy me move for move. I get in the shower, then put on a silk button up blouse and a pencil skirt for work.

I’m late for breakfast, so I leave Sadie in the pool house. I’ll take her over after everyone is done eating. I walk across the deck to River’s back door. I put my hand on the handle to open it, but it doesn’t open.

What the hell?

I look inside and see River sitting at the table, drinking a cup of coffee while Joss moves around in the kitchen. I gently knock on the glass, but River ignores me.

Joss looks at me, then turns to River, and I see her mouth moving, I assume asking him why the door isn’t unlocked for me like usual.

He ignores Joss, so she walks past him and swats him in the head with a dishtowel, and opens the door for me.

Nina and Josh walk down the stairs together and Nina says, “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Joss answers, heading back to the kitchen.

Nina and Josh go into to the kitchen to grab some coffee, then the three of them have a hushed conversation.

I take my seat at the table and wait in uncomfortable silence.

Joss and Nina come to the table carrying food and set it down. I already drank my breakfast, so I push my plate to the side.

Joss serves River food, then tells him, “Eggs are at twelve o’clock, bacon at three, and toast at nine.”

While everyone takes food, River digs into his breakfast and completely ignores me. I look at Joss and she gives me one of those
I have no clue
looks.

River finishes his food, wipes his mouth with the napkin, then puts his hand on a piece of paper next to his plate. He flips it over, smacks his hand on top of it, then slides it across the table to me without looking in my direction.

“What’s this?” I ask, pulling the paper closer.

“It’s your denial signed by the judge to remove my conservatorship,” he says.

“But, it hasn’t even been presented to the court yet,” I tell him and pick up the piece of paper by my hand. “You went behind my back and paid off a judge?” I yell, crumbling it between my fingers.

“River, you didn’t,” Joss says, softly.

River raises his hand to her, silencing her, then looks at me with his pale blue eyes.

“I didn’t pay off anyone,” he clarifies.

“Then how did you do this?” I ask.

“You are not to see Cooper again and that
dog
is not allowed to stay at the pool house either,” he says, then gets up from the table.

“But, Sadie has been helping me sleep. I need her,” I cry.

He taps his finger on top of the table, then says, “You heard me.”

I stand and push the chair back so hard, it tips over and crashes to the floor.

“I’m going to appeal the decision and, by the way, I’m no longer going to take a position at Mason Group. I’m going to become a silent partner, we can arrange my salary and the details through my lawyer,” I say and turn around.

“Why do you think you’re going to get a salary?” he asks with a chuckle. “And who gave you the idea to become a silent partner? Cooper?” he asks without leaving room for my answer.

“River, maybe we should . . .” Joss tries again.

River, again, raises his hand toward Joss to silence her and her face fills with anger.

I stop and close my eyes before I say another word. I take a deep breath, then slowly turn back around.

“You can have your judge in your back pocket. You can deny my rights as a human being. You can keep me locked away in your pool house. But, you have no right and you can not, and you will not, tell me who I can be friends with, and you can’t force me to work at Mason Group. There’s absolutely nothing you can do about the fact that I hold equal shares in the company. Equal, River. You don’t hold more than Stephen, or I do. If you want, you can buy me out. But, I will not step foot in that building again until you remove the conservatorship,” I say, then open the door and gently close it behind me.

I walk across the deck and straight into the pool house. I walk straight past Sadie, who is immediately at my side, but I close myself in the bathroom before she can come in with me. I seriously held it together long enough to speak my mind to River. I didn’t lose it or behave like an adolescent hoodlum off their meds. I’ve never stood up for myself before and it was the scariest thing I’ve done in a very long time.

I crouch down and lean against the tub. I flip off my shoes and bring my knees to my chest. I try my hardest to control what I know is coming by breathing deep breaths. The air comes out of my mouth like my soul is having an earthquake. I can’t control the shaking. Sadie claws at the bathroom door to get in, but I can’t hold it together another second and I lose it. Losing it isn’t even the right term . . . this is catastrophic. I start to sob hysterically.

I can’t catch my breath, my clothes are too tight. I rip my dress shirt open and buttons go flying every which direction. I tear it off, then rip it into pieces. Sadie violently barks on the other side of the door, but it only adds to my frustration and makes me cry harder. The door begins to bang violently in the frame as Sadie tries to claw her way inside. I look to my side and see the crumpled piece of paper River slid across the table. I tear the judge’s order into pieces, then throw it above my head. It floats through the air like the white fluffy part of a dandelion, then rests face up on the floor, mocking me. I feel it all coming up. Those poisonous thoughts and venomous voices, the ones that invade everything good and destroy them like a flesh eating disease. I don’t want them to, but they crowd every minute space in my head.

Everyone would just be better off.

No, fight through it.

It’s so easy to fix.

I won’t.

The answer is an arm’s length away.

I won’t do it.

I don’t allow myself to have even a baby aspirin in my possession. There’s nothing in here. It only makes me cry louder that these thoughts can still race through my head like wildfire. I cover my ears with my hands and beg for it to stop.

Stop talking to me.

Stop telling me it’s my only choice.

I feel invisible like no one can see or understand the real me.

I make a large pot of coffee, then set out two coffee cups and Kate’s coffee cream on the counter. I whistle to myself while I get dressed for work, then I put some food in Sadie’s dish for her to eat when she gets here. I fill my cup and take the first delicious sip of hot coffee.

I finish my first cup and pour a second. When that’s empty, I look at my watch. I wonder where they could be? I’m going to be late for work if they don’t show up soon. I drink a third cup, then decide to go over there.

I walk down the beach and up their steps to the back deck. I look into the main house through the wall of doors and don’t see any movement. I walk to the pool house and look inside. No movement in here either. Where are Kate and Sadie? I knock on the glass door, cup my hands next to my eyes, press it to the glass, and look inside again. Immediately, Sadie charges through the house and comes to a sliding stop on the other side of the door. Spit flies from her mouth as she barks hysterically at me, then she paws on the glass door with force.