I Hate You...I Think (16 page)

Pushing open the bedroom door I wasn't surprised to see my things littered across the floor. I know I had not left it this way when I left a year ago. The walls were still the same pink my dad and I painted it when I was six. The little pink footsteps still in the corner
where I had fell in the bucket of paint and tracked it around on the white carpet. But, over those pink walls were posters of different fazes I went through, Scooby-doo, Harry Potter, and random boy bands.

             
"It seems she got a hold of your room to," Kimmy commented walking past me. She began picking stuffed animals and ripped up drawings off the floor.

             
"Yeah," I muttered walking to my dresser mirror and pulling the picture of me and my dad off. It was of when I got my blue belt in Kuk Sool won training.

             
"So when is your Aunt going to be here?" Alex asked leaning against the bedroom door. He was a lot calmer now than he had been an hour ago when Kimmy had forced him to come with us. He had not been happy about it but now he didn’t seem to care.

             
"When I talked to her she said she would be here in fifteen minutes. So she should be here soon," I told him sticking my picture in my pocket.

             
"Is there anything you want to get before we go to your Aunt's house?" Kimmy asked looking around the room.

             
"The photo in the living room above the TV. Can you get that, Alex?"

             
He nodded and headed out of the room. Sighing I turned to Kimmy. She frowned.

             
"You wanna go in..." she motioned her head to the wall behind her. To my parents room. It had to be done. I needed to see it one last time before the land lord of the apartment building came in and cleared everything out. My mom had been behind in rent for two months and he was ready to rent it to someone who would pay.

             
The door was a little tough to open. It was like the years of dust had somehow sealed it shut. One good shove and I got it open cringing as my sore ribs hit the door.

             
The light shining in from the hallway reflected on all the little dust particles floating in the air. The bed was covered in it, like an inch thick. The smell of mothballs and stale air filled my nose. Kimmy turned on the light as I stepped into the room.

Tears filled my eyes as I looked around. Stepping into the room farther I went to the bed picking up a blue shirt that lay crumbled up there. His shirt. My shoulders
shuttered as I cried harder. Burying my face into the soft fabric I inhaled but is scent was no longer there. Faded away just like he had so many years ago. Coughing I tried to get the dust out of my lungs.

There was a knock on the living room door. Dropping the shirt I turned on my heels and exited the room quickly. Passing Kimmy, who looked after me sadly, into the living
room.

             
Alex was standing awkwardly with my family photo in his hands staring at the front door. I pulled the door open and before me stood a large puffy eyed woman. It had been six year since I had seen my Aunt May and she had grown quite large.

             
"Lyly!" she exclaimed grabbing me up in her meaty arms. She lifted me off the floor and I yelped in pain, she released me instantly.

             
"What's wrong?" she asked shocked. I gritted my teeth as my ribs ached, trying to think of something to tell her.

             
"She fell down a flight of stairs and took me with her," Alex said appearing at my side. At least that explained both of our injuries. I hadn't thought about how I'd explain the large white bandage on his head. May laughed, her voice echoed off the walls of the silent hallway.

             
"Lyly has never been able to stand on her own two feet."

             
I grimaced. I hated that nickname.

             
"Are you her boyfriend?" Aunt May mused looking Alex over.

             
"Oh, no!" Alex shook his head, his eyes wide in shock.

             
"Ever, is like a sister...that would be weird."

             
I smiled at his nervous demeanor. He glanced over my shoulder, undoubtedly at Kimmy. Aunt May followed his gaze her face dropped into one of distaste.

             
"Oh miss Lee, your here..." she turned her nose up.

             
Kimmy and May had never gotten along from the moment they met. That is how I got my nickname actually. When dad died May was around a lot more, she never got along with him so kept her distance until his death. She hated Kimmy and had insisted I stop being friends with her or I would be sent to boarding school. I had lied and said we were no longer friends. Later on she found out I hadn't stopped and gave me the name Lyly. (Lie Lie)

             
"Hello, May," Kimmy replied sweetly.

             
"It's Mrs. Morter actually," May replied in the same false sweet tone.

             
"When is the funeral," I broke in.

             
May peeled her eyes off Kimmy, and they began to water again.

             
"Tomorrow at three, in West Oak cemetery."

             
"How did...?" I left the question unfinished frowning.

             
"The poor dear drank herself to death," May shook her head.

             
"It's a shame though; she never could get over Paul's death."

             
"She drank before Daddy ever got sick. She has been drinking since I was born," I told her in a hard tone. How dare she blame my mother's alcoholism on his death.

             
"No, I think I remember better, you were too little then. I wouldn't be surprised if you don't remember him. Though you didn't miss much," she commented bitterly.

             
Before I could think rationally I was attacking her. My hand collided with her squishy cheek and bounced off but it was enough to knock her down. Her eyes were wide and she gasp.

             
"Don't you ever talk about my Daddy like that. I do remember him and that was the happiest years of my life. Mama didn't drink because he died. Mama drank cause she hated life and she hated me and she hated him. Don't you dare blame her death on him ever again!"

             
Stepping back I slammed the apartment door in her face. Turning to face Kimmy and Alex they were staring at me in shock. I slide down in the floor against the door. Kimmy came to my side and pulled me into a hug. I'm not sure I want to go to the funeral anymore. It would be the right thing to do, she is...was my mother after all. We did have good times...very few but some.

             
"What the hell am I going to do now?" I sighed.

             
"We'll rent a hotel, cause I know my parents are not going to be happy to see me," Kimmy reassured me rubbing circles on my back.

             
I shook my head. “We don't have money for that. We'll just go home. This was a wasted trip."

             
Alex scoffed. "Do you want to go to the funeral?"

             
"Well yeah, but-"

             
"Yes or no."

             
"Yeah," I muttered.

             
"Then we are going to a hotel."

             
He held up his hand to shush me as I started to protest.

             
"I'll pay for it," he smiled.

             
"No, Alex you-"

             
Yes, I am and that's final. Go get your stuff," he ordered with a grin.

             
"And, no you’re not allowed to pay me back," he added.

             
Kimmy awed. "Isn't he so sweet, Ever?"

             
I gave her a look.

             
"Earlier you were ready to kill him with your eyes and now your aweing?"

             
She laughed and grinned at Alex. He looked away but I swear I saw a blush.

              The three of us arrived by taxi the next day at the cemetery. There were already people gathering. Many I didn't know only a few faces were familiar. I felt like I was in a display case again, and it wasn't the look of sorrow or regret. It was the look of contempt. I had never met almost any of my mother's side of the family but I could tell they were the snotty sort. However, I wasn't there for them.

             
I went straight to the open casket were my mother lay, but the woman there was not my mother. Not anymore. It reminded me of seeing my father in his casket. The body lying before me was just an empty shell. The energy the life force that was once there was long gone, and all that remained was this less than human representation of that person you once knew.

Her face look sunk in and stretched way
too tightly over the bone. She looked nothing like how I remember her. Not being able to see her any longer I stepped away and a wailing woman took my place.               These people, that I had never known, never seen, were crying over a woman that was not only a sad excuse for a mother but for a wife as well. She cheated on my father countless times. I remember her coming home at all hours of the morning and yelling at him, broken dishes, flying pans and one very broken little girl’s heart.

But, as much as I
despised who she was I did love her. She gave me life...but that was the only thing she had every truly gave me that I could appreciate.

             
"You okay?" Kimmy asked softly staying close by my side.

             
I nodded not able to find the words.

             
"You don't seem comfortable hunny. If this is too much we can go," she said concerned.

             
"Yeah, I don't wanna be here anymore. I seen her I paid my respects. I don't want to see them put her in the ground," I replied my voice cracking. Giving one last look at the coffin we left the cemetery.

Chapter T
en

              Alex had insisted on taking Kimmy and I to lunch before we headed home.

             
"You sure you're not trying to stay away from the wrath of Oliver for as long as possible?" I teased.

             
"Can't I take to lovely ladies to lunch?" He grinned innocently. I looked at Kimmy; she wasn't buying the nice act either. Alex linked both our arms and pulled us into a very nice and expensive looking Italian restaurant. A hostess sat us quickly and a guy came up and took our drink order, winking at Alex before he walked away. Kimmy looked after the guy shocked. Alex made a face and looked between us.

             
"Looks like someone likes you," Kimmy winked nudging Alex in the side.

             
"Eww...” Alex stuck his tongue out.

             
Kimmy smacked him in the back of the head. "Be nice."

             
"I'm going to the bathroom," I announced and slipped out of the booth quickly. I could hear Kimmy scolding Alex behind me and smiled.

             
The bathroom was empty, sighing I leaned against the sink and pulled out my cell phone. Seventeen missed calls and seventeen voice mails, all from Oliver. I sighed again; Oliver is going to be a pain when we get back. I listened to every message. One after another Oliver sounded more and more frustrated and worried.

             
At first he scolded me for going home, and then he somehow realized I wasn't home and thought I was avoiding him. In the final message he thought I had been kidnapped. Oh Oliver...

             
Shaking my head I called him back.

             
"Ever, where the hell are you?" he answered in relief.

             
"Jeez, you get really bent out of shape from not hearing from me," I joked.

             
"It's not funny. I was worried. Where have you been? Is Alex and Kimmy with you?"

             
"Yeah, they are with me, and before you get mad at Alex. Know that Kimmy and I basically kidnapped him. His cell is in my apartment so it's not like he is avoiding you."