I Hate Summer (10 page)

I’m not sure I’ve ever been so self-conscious of a suncream application in my life. I was obscenely aware of Josh’s breathing behind me—the way it seemed to get shallower and shallower as his hands worked my skin—and of the way his fingers seemed to linger in every nook and cranny of my ribs and spine. His hands pressed down over my kidneys and then his deft fingers made sure that my skin was protected well below the waistband of my shorts.

“A year is a really long time,” he said from behind me. His breathing hitched as he finally stilled his hands against me after drawing it out as long as he could.

“Mmm.” I let my head drop forward on my chest and didn’t look round at him.

“Come on, Ide,” he pleaded gently as he leaned forward so his chest was against my spine. His hands were still pressed into my shoulder blades, and his fingers curled slightly in my skin. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this turned on in my life.”

I felt his erection—clothed in his wet trunks—brush against the small of my back. I reminded myself that his sexual life had probably only been two years—
at most
—
and that the comment definitely wasn’t a big deal.

“I really can’t, Josh. It’s not that I don’t think yer….” I hesitated because telling him what I thought probably wasn’t going to help. “I just can’t,” I finished instead.

“Is it because of my brother?” he asked. “I know you used to have a thing for him, and now he’s been acting kind of weird, but he’s straight. He’s just messing with you: I heard him joking with Vince about it.”

“Huh?” I turned around, met big brown eyes, and instantly regretted it. Shit, the boy was sin. Instead, I focused on what he’d said. I knew Trystan was straight, and I knew he was just messing with me. But joking with Vince about it? Vince was a fricking homophobe to rival how Trystan had used to be.

With one last rueful look, I scooped my hand over Josh’s ear, let my fingers slide through his damp and slightly-too-long dark hair, and pulled his lips against mine.

I felt more than heard the muted gasp that struggled from the back of his throat as I kissed him, gently at first. I let my lips slide and suckle over his and then I pressed my tongue forward, let it slip over his flesh and then inside his mouth as he granted me entry. We were still positioned awkwardly, and it was probably a good thing. He mewed softly and pressed himself desperately up against my spine. His chest was still damp, his shorts were still soaked; I could feel his arousal as he rubbed himself against me.

Don’teventhinkaboutit….

I balled my free hand in a fist against my knee to stop myself from reaching round and pulling him in front of me and pressing him down against the grass and…. Oh my God, the noises he was making—just from a kiss—were far too similar to my fantasy of last night. I concentrated on the crick in my neck as I strained round to reach him and the ache in my knees as both our weights pressed down through me.

I pulled away. Josh’s lips followed mine, and I brought my hand round to his cheek to hold him where he was.

“Happy now?” I whispered. I didn’t need his erection pressed into me to know that he wasn’t; the desperation in his kiss told me all I needed to know.

“No,” he bleated as he gasped for breath.

“Yeah, well, that’s why I said ye needed to wait, ’cause I’m not having sex with an underage kid.”

“You’re a tease.” It was his turn to chide.

“Well right back at ye,” I chuckled lightly, and then scowled as my attention was caught by the cricket players who were not playing, but staring, all three of them, at me and Josh. Vince looked disgusted, Jorja looked aghast, and Trystan looked furious.

“Shit,” I said. Josh looked puzzled as he turned to see what I was looking at. He looked back around at me very quickly, his eyes wide and his face suddenly bright red, and not from lust this time.

“Oh my God, why did you kiss me in front of them?”

“Sorry, heat of the moment thing. And anyway, ye were the one wi’ yer hands all over me back and arse in front of them a second ago.”

The truth was I didn’t know exactly why I’d kissed him. He’d been cute and sexy, but I’d resisted that last night and I’d been tipsy then. Maybe it had been to prove a point, to show him that I was right and it was more than kisses he was after. On the other hand, it could have been because of the flash of anger that had stirred in my stomach at the thought of Trystan laughing with Vince at my expense. But he laughed at me all the time, so that didn’t make sense.

“Get yer hands off my brother, fag!”

I sighed as I dropped my hand from Josh’s cheek and looked up at Vince. The warm kindling of lust and amusement I’d experienced a moment ago was gone, extinguished by my mounting irritation as I met Vince’s gaze dead on.

“I will if ye stop staring at my sister’s tits.” I kept my voice deceptively low.

I watched the middle Jackson bristle. Behind him Trystan and Jorja were keeping their distance, and both of them looked thoroughly pissed off. Josh remained kneeling by my back, but there was a little distance between us. I didn’t move because I didn’t want Vince to catch a glimpse of his younger brother’s rapidly dwindling erection.

“That’s different; Jorja’s a whore.”

I snorted at that because Jorja was nothing like me. She had only slept with one guy, and she only did that when they’d been dating for several months. Yet at fifteen, Josh was apparently already banging girls and had spent the last few days attempting to throw himself at me. I didn’t mind, and technically, I almost certainly deserved the label of whore. My sister did not. Nor was she the type of girl to stand and take shit from a gobby seventeen-year-old.

Her balled fist connected with the back of his head.

“I am
not
a whore!” Not the most original comeback by my sister, but I think along with the punch it got her point across.

“Ye good?” I said in an undertone as I caught Josh’s gaze in mine and dropped my eyes surreptitiously to his crotch. Wide-eyed, he nodded and I jumped to my feet, crossing quickly to Jorja’s side. I stood squarely in front of her as Vince regained his footing and whirled around to face her. He hesitated when he saw me looking down on him with cold eyes.

“Touch my sister, and I’ll knock yer teeth out, understand?”

Vince was shorter than I was, but he was still around six foot and he was stockier and undoubtedly stronger. But I’ve always been stronger than I look, and the three Jackson brothers—especially Vince and Trystan—knew this better than most; they grew up sporting the bruises from picking on me. Jorja, too, could defend herself, but after sixteen years of her standing in front of me, I liked the chance to repay the favor. Still…. I flicked my blue eyes up toward Trystan. Growing up being bullied for how I look, then who I like, meant I was pretty used to being beaten up; I had a high pain threshold. So I could probably hurt Vince more than he hurt me, but if Trystan helped, I was going to get my ass kicked and I would just have to hope that they wouldn’t turn on Jorja as well.

“Vince, apologize to Josh and Jorja, then go cool your head.” Trystan’s voice was full of cold fury.

I wasn’t alone in looking slightly startled.

“No way, Trys. Did you not see what the fag was—” Vince cut off as Trystan’s hand twisted in around the bones of his shoulder.

“
Yes
, I saw.
Yes
, I think it’s disgusting. And
yes
—I’m
fucking
furious
.” Trystan’s voice was low and somehow, even though his dark eyes were fixed on Vince, I felt like everything he said was directed at me. “But did it look to you like Josh couldn’t have run away? No! So before you go around throwing insults at people, why don’t you think about what that makes our brother and whether you’re going to disown or belittle him for who he likes?”

He didn’t give Vince a chance to argue or even to give the apology he had demanded, he just tossed him to one side as if his brother was a ragdoll. Then he turned to me.

“
You
,” he hissed, “are the
whore
in this situation.”

I shrugged. “Yeah,
and
? I don’t deny it.”

“You
said
you weren’t going to do anything.”

“I didn’t. It was a kiss, Trystan. I didn’t touch him.”

“It was my fault, Trys, I just wanted to see. Ide didn’t force me or anything,” Josh cut in, his voice surprisingly strong as he took half a step toward his eldest brother.

“Shut up, Josh. The difference is Idrys is old enough to know better, and besides”—he turned that hateful gaze back to me—“he probably used some faggy mind tricks on you to confuse you.”

“Hmm, hypocrite much?”

Trystan ground his teeth, he visibly tried to temper his annoyance as he turned to Josh.

“Sorry, Josh, it’s fine if you’re gay. I’m just pissed at this dickhead.”

I felt a hand on my shoulder and twisted round to see Jorja glaring up at me. She leaned forward to hiss angrily in my ear so only I would hear. “Yer an idiot! Just in case yer stupid enough not t’ realize; Trys is pissed.”

“No shit,” I interrupted and went to turn back. She grabbed my shoulder and whirled me around to face her. She stared up into my eyes, searching for something she didn’t find.

“Oh my God, Ide; yer such a bloody head case. He’s
fricking
jealous!”

That got my attention. My face crumpled into a scowl, and I pulled her slightly away from the other two. “Are ye crazy? What’re ye talking about?”

“Are ye a moron or an
actual
dickhead?” She looked genuinely annoyed at me. “Ye said something happened, right? And now ye kiss his brother right there
in front
of him? That’s a pretty low blow.”

I craned my head over my shoulder to stare at Trystan, who was talking to his youngest brother in hushed tones. He shot me the finger without looking up.

“Trys is straight, Jorja,” I said as I turned back to my sister. “He had trouble
kissing
me, for God’s sake.”

“Meh, maybe he is; doesn’t change the fact that he
did
kiss ye, and it doesn’t change the fact that he is currently livid and probably embarrassed. I know
I
would be.” I looked down at my sister and realized I believed everything that she was saying. It didn’t really make sense, but I did believe it.

“Fricking hell,” I cursed and marched over to where Trystan and Josh were. “Josh, I need t’ speak to yer brother,” I said gently and shot him an apologetic smile. He looked sad but he nodded and I watched in silence as he headed over to where Vince was lobbing stones into the lake.

“Look, Trys.” I only dragged my eyes back to Trystan because watching Josh was not helping. “I’m sorry if there was some kind of misunderstanding. Yer right, I am a whore, and I was playing along with ye because it was fun. Because I knew ye were straight and it amused me to tempt ye to do gay stuff with me. I didn’t think for a second that ye might get confused by what we were doing, because ye always seem so fricking arrogant. Still, it’s not really an excuse, I know, and I’m sorry for leading ye on and then kissing yer brother,” I said, even though I definitely recalled Trystan asking me to do exactly that and probably more and even though I knew that I believed what Josh had said about Trystan mocking me with Vince.

Trystan stared at me, and then he shrugged. “Whatever; why would I care?”

Needless to say, the rest of the holiday was not as much fun as the first half, and not just because it rained every day.

M
Y
PHONE
started ringing as I was just reaching the outskirts of York.

“
Oi, dickhead, ye were supposed t’ stick around fer a couple o’ days, eh?
” was the eloquent greeting I got as I answered the call. I’d put it on handsfree so I could drive, and Theo’s heavy accent over the background of his Jeep’s engine made the speakers complain briefly.

“Aye, sorry, Theo.” I stifled a yawn as I drew up to a set of traffic lights. It was still light but it was gone nine and I figured Theo had probably just called in after finishing up his evening duties, expecting to go for a beer. I hadn’t slept well for the last couple of nights, half because it hadn’t let up raining and the sound had been amplified by the tent, and half because of the person I’d still had to share a tent with.

Theo grunted something and was quiet for a moment. “
So what happened? Yer sister had a face on her worse than the time ye kissed that boy she was dating.
”

I chuckled at the memory. “He kissed me, and ye know it. But that’s an improvement on the last time
I
saw her. She’s been looking at me worse than that time ye pushed her in the lake and ruined those ridiculous pink trainers she insisted on wearing all the fricking time.”

“
That bad, eh?
” Theo let out a loud chortle, and there was a pause as we both remembered simpler times. Back when Trystan Jackson was nothing but a bully and my sister would take my side even when I’d been a dick.

Honestly, the end of the holiday had turned out worse than even
I
had imagined, and we all know how much I was looking forward to it. Trystan didn’t have a nice word to say to me and had reverted to more or less how he’d been five years ago, admittedly with less physical abuse. Josh wasn’t allowed anywhere near me, and well, Vince never spoke to me out of choice anyway. Jorja was pissed with me, my dad was furious because he just went ahead and assumed it was my fault everyone had fallen out, and Mum was just sad, which was worse than her being annoyed with me.

The cherry on the metaphorical camping cake was that it hadn’t stopped raining.

When we pulled up in the farmyard earlier, I had unpacked my stuff from the 4x4 straight into my car and driven off. I didn’t even stay for the roast dinner I had technically earned by going in the first place. But no one tried to stop me.