I Had the Right to Remain Silent...But I Didn't Have the Ability (22 page)
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Authors: Ron White
BOOK: I Had the Right to Remain Silent...But I Didn't Have the Ability
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As far as my career goes, I'm in a great place and I'm loving it. The only thing I'm not doing a lot of now, that I'd like to do more of, is television. I've done specials for Comedy Central and the WB network, but I'd really like to do a series.
The special I did for the WB,
The Ron White Show
, was actually meant to be a pilot for a regular variety show, like the old
Dean Martin Show
. The people at the network begged me to do this show. I mean, they begged me. They're just blowing me, trying to get me to say yes.
The Ron White Show
, was actually meant to be a pilot for a regular variety show, like the old
Dean Martin Show
. The people at the network begged me to do this show. I mean, they begged me. They're just blowing me, trying to get me to say yes.
Actually, I thought it was an easy show to do, you know. 'Cause I don't have to act, I just have to be myself onstage. There's a really talented cast to do skits. It's gonna be filmed in Las Vegas. I like everybody that works on the show.
We did the show, and it went over great. We had an audience of four million, which was bigger than anything the WB usually got. A lot of the television reviews were really positive.
It wasn't the end all to beat all, but if you wanted a little fucking Dean Martin back in your life--an amusing guy onstage with some dancing girls and a scotch--it was fun. It could've found its spot.
And the WB told us they were gonna pick it up as a series. And they told Sony, which was the studio, and Sony went out and spent $2 million to get everything lined up to produce the series in Las Vegas.
Then the WB decided that they were going to shift direction away from
Blue Collar Television--
Jeff, Bill, and Larry's show--and everything associated with it, which included my show. Even though my show, like I said, was closer to Dean Martin than to Blue Collar.
Blue Collar Television--
Jeff, Bill, and Larry's show--and everything associated with it, which included my show. Even though my show, like I said, was closer to Dean Martin than to Blue Collar.
Anyway, they said they weren't going to pick up
The Ron White Show
as a series, and that tore my fuckin' heart out. But the people who were really pissed were the people at Sony Television, 'cause they'd spent a pile of money on the WB's say-so and been made to look like fools.
The Ron White Show
as a series, and that tore my fuckin' heart out. But the people who were really pissed were the people at Sony Television, 'cause they'd spent a pile of money on the WB's say-so and been made to look like fools.
But I've got another television project that may go. One of the neat things on
The Ron White Show
was we did these animated vignettes of some of my stage bits featuring a cartoon "Tater Salad" version of me. TBS is now developing an animated series,
They Call Him Tater Salad,
based on those vignettes, just like
The Simpsons
came out of those little "Simpsons" vignettes on
The Tracey Ullman Show
.
The Ron White Show
was we did these animated vignettes of some of my stage bits featuring a cartoon "Tater Salad" version of me. TBS is now developing an animated series,
They Call Him Tater Salad,
based on those vignettes, just like
The Simpsons
came out of those little "Simpsons" vignettes on
The Tracey Ullman Show
.
The Tater Salad character is sort of like Homer Simpson, King of the Hill, or the Family Guy. It'd be great if the animated show gets a chance. I could do the work near home in Atlanta, and I could steer clear of Hollywood.
I guarantee you, I found out Hollywood doesn't want anything new. Hollywood does not want an original idea, or they'd have put on
Senor White
. They say they want something new, they want something 5 percent new. They don't want 95 percent new. They don't know what to do with it. Whatever you want to do, you gotta be able to say it's like something they already succeeded with: "It's like
Northern Exposure
, except it's in Mexico."
Senor White
. They say they want something new, they want something 5 percent new. They don't want 95 percent new. They don't know what to do with it. Whatever you want to do, you gotta be able to say it's like something they already succeeded with: "It's like
Northern Exposure
, except it's in Mexico."
That's what we tried--"It's
Southern Exposure
"--and it was a good analogy, actually. But they couldn't see it.
Southern Exposure
"--and it was a good analogy, actually. But they couldn't see it.
That's a lot of water, and more than a little scotch, under the bridge. If I never get a television series, I'll be OK. I have a great job, great fans, a great life. I love going onstage and making a big crowd laugh, and I hope I get to keep doing that for a long, long time.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I'd like to thank my manager John MacDonald and all the people at MacDonald-Murray Management for all they do. Maria, thanks for taking care of all the details. John, just remember this was your idea.
I'd like to acknowledge Sandy Fox, Maggie Houlehan, Jeff Abraham, Todd Modderman.
Special thanks to Hilary Hinzmann for his editorial help in putting this book together, and Matthew Shultz for the killer illustrations. Couldn't have done it without you guys.
Thanks to my literary agents David Vigliano and Elisa Petrini for peddling this project.
And thanks to the good folks at Dutton, especially Brian Tart and Mark Chait, for putting my words into print.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ron White
gained fame as part of the Blue Collar Comedy phenomenon, which includes the hit movie
Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie
that has sold over three million DVDs and was a smash hit on Comedy Central. He has since gone on to achieve individual mass appeal with sold-out shows in theaters and arenas; a hit comedy album,
Drunk in Public;
a hit DVD,
They Call Me "Tater Salad,"
which has sold over 1.5 million copies; his latest release,
You Can't Fix Stupid,
a bestseller on both CD and DVD; and top-rated specials on the WB network and Comedy Central. Visit his Web site at
www.tatersalad.com
.
gained fame as part of the Blue Collar Comedy phenomenon, which includes the hit movie
Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie
that has sold over three million DVDs and was a smash hit on Comedy Central. He has since gone on to achieve individual mass appeal with sold-out shows in theaters and arenas; a hit comedy album,
Drunk in Public;
a hit DVD,
They Call Me "Tater Salad,"
which has sold over 1.5 million copies; his latest release,
You Can't Fix Stupid,
a bestseller on both CD and DVD; and top-rated specials on the WB network and Comedy Central. Visit his Web site at
www.tatersalad.com
.
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