I Got This (15 page)
Authors: Jennifer Hudson
After navigating my way through eating in South Africa, I now know that I can travel anywhere and stick to the program. It doesn’t matter where you are because conscious eating is the same all over the world. Saying you can’t because of where you are physically is just an excuse—covering up something going on emotionally or psychologically.
When I returned from South Africa, I was asked to shoot my
second commercial for Weight Watchers. I wanted to play a joke on the Weight Watchers people by wearing a fat suit in to the shoot so they would think I gained back all of my weight while I was on location. I couldn’t get a convincing fat suit in time, so I did the next best thing. I wore a prosthetic pregnancy belly in to the shoot and had them all believing I was having another baby. Even my manager wasn’t in on the joke, so when everyone saw me, they freaked, but no one said a word. I was sitting in a chair rubbing my tummy like I was ready to pop at any minute. When I got to wardrobe, the stylist took one look at me and said, “We may need to let your clothes out a bit….” She was panicking because I was supposed to come in with a brand-new size-6 body. Instead, I came in looking nine months pregnant!
I couldn’t believe that everyone was being so polite, especially because we only had that day to shoot the commercial.
Finally, the stylist looked at me and asked if I was pregnant.
“No. It’s a joke.” We had a good laugh over it, even if no one else did!
DON’T LOOK DOWN
O
nce I got into the groove, being on Weight Watchers actually became fun. I wanted to tell everyone I knew about how great I think this plan is for losing weight. Everywhere I go people stop and want to ask me how I lost my weight. Not long ago, I was in a park playing with my son when a young heavy-set girl came over to me.
“Wow. You look so skinny!” she said. “So, that Weight Watchers thing really works, huh?”
I was thrilled to take the time to talk to this young girl and tell her all about the virtues of the program. Even though I was at the park to spend time with my baby boy, if it meant that five minutes of my time could change a life, I was happy to share my journey with this perfect stranger.
“So, this is how it works. All you have to do is keep track of your Points. You get a certain number of Points to use each day. When you’ve used those up, you’re done eating for the day. That’s it. That’s how I did it.” I was trying to keep it as simple as I could.
“That sounds too hard,” she said.
As soon as I heard her response, I knew this girl wasn’t ready to make the commitment to change. One thing I know for sure is, you can’t force the issue. When someone wants to lose weight, they will do whatever it takes. They can’t do it for anyone else but themselves. It has to be for them alone. Without that understanding, they will fail.
As my weight loss progressed, I shared my newfound love for healthy eating with my sister and several other members of my family. My family has always been supportive of everything I do, so when I told everyone that I had started Weight Watchers, several of them decided that they wanted to try it, too. And for those who wouldn’t get on board, Lord knows, I did what I could to try to convince them to join.
JULIA, MY SISTER
Our family is a family that eats. If you go to anyone’s house for a visit, they will always try to feed you. That’s the way it has always been. When my sister, Jenny, decided to go on Weight Watchers, she came to me and
begged me to start the program with her. Jenny was always the skinny-mini in our family. Maybe it’s because Jason and I were so much heavier than her that we never noticed that Jenny was heavy, too. She told me all about Liz, her weight-loss leader, and offered to set up a consultation between us. I wasn’t all that into going, but I told my cousin Pam about my meeting, hoping she might want to come with me. Before I knew it, several other family members decided to join us, too. I was still reluctant, but since the family was getting on board, I agreed to give the program a try. I was very successful for the first two months. Before I knew it, I was down forty pounds, and after years of insulin dependence, I noticed that when I was eating according to the Weight Watchers plan, I really didn’t have to take my daily shots. You might think that that was enough to keep me motivated to stick with it, but it wasn’t. Aside from the change in my blood sugar levels, I didn’t really feel any different from the weight loss, plus my old eating habits were really hard to break.
I know that no one is holding me back but me, and still, I couldn’t seem to follow through. You see, I am an expert excuse-maker, so I came up with a thousand reasons I didn’t want to stay with the plan. I drive a bus,
which means I sit on my rear end all day long. Most everyone I know who drives a bus for a living gains weight. Since I have to get up really early in the morning to make my shift, I don’t have enough time to prepare my food for the day. I’d stop at the gas station on my way in and buy chips and donuts to eat for breakfast. Truth be told, I enjoy eating junk food. I’ve always been that way and don’t have any plans to give it up. The funny thing is, I am the most competitive person in our family. If I really gave my all, I know I’d be the family’s biggest loser. My head is just not there. I don’t like it when someone tells me I can’t do something, so restricting how much of my favorite foods I could eat just didn’t work for me.
I think about going back to meetings. I see the progress that Jenny and so many of my other relatives have made, so deep down, I know the plan works. If I ever go back, I will have to commit to getting it together, and right now, I don’t really have the willpower to do that—at least not yet. One thing is for sure, if our mama were here, she’d be fussing over Jenny’s weight loss. She’d say something like, “Now, Jenny, you just got too skinny and don’t be losing any more weight!” That would be our mama.
My sister and I have always been close but we couldn’t be more opposite—especially when it comes to taking care of our bodies and our health. She loves her junk food, and though I love my food, too, these days I like it healthy. I’ve always been known for my strong beliefs, but my sister has that dangerous combination of being both strong and stubborn. I tell her all the time that she needs to try a new way of looking at food and change her eating habits or she will not be around to enjoy life. She’s so feisty when she is telling me she is “fine,” and that she doesn’t need my advice. But the reality is, she is very overweight and suffers from diabetes. She is completely insulin dependent, in part due to her obesity. I love my sister and want her to be around for a long time. I had hoped that she would somehow get inspired by my weight loss and give Weight Watchers a try for herself. I begged and begged until one day she finally said she would do it. Julia stayed on the program for two months and lost a little more than forty pounds. But then she quit.
I was so proud of her effort and disappointed in her decision to stop. If she really gave it her all, Julia could blow my results right out of the water because her weight loss would be far more dramatic. She knows she’s the only one holding herself back, and when she gets sick and tired of feeling the way she does, she will come back. I know it.
I think Julia is like a lot of women who want to lose weight. They give it their all for a while, but they don’t fully change their
habits. Anyone can lose a few pounds, but not everyone has the tools to stick with it. I don’t judge my sister for giving up. I understand her feelings, and I feel her pain and frustration. I know how hard it is to undo everything you know and are comfortable with doing—especially when you have a lot of weight to lose. It feels like a huge mountain you have to climb. But we can’t let our insecurities own or destroy us. We have to face them head-on. That was part of the challenge that motivated me to take this journey. I wanted to see what I could do and, more important, I wanted to understand everything that was holding me back. That took some soul-searching and spending some time alone asking myself the hard questions we all avoid.
“What makes me feel this way?”
“Why do I choose to make poor food choices?”
“What is my core problem?”
Until you can answer those types of questions, you will keep making excuses that only you view as your roadblocks to success. We all make up excuses as a way of avoiding something we don’t want to do. Excuses are our way of making a decision okay for ourselves.
How do I know this?
Because I was once there.
I was that person.
I had that mind-set, so I am well aware of why that type of thinking only holds us back.
When my very first Weight Watchers commercial came out, people freaked out because I was sitting in a chair wearing a blazer.
“She didn’t lose weight.”
“She’s sitting down. Who can tell what she looks like?”
These were the types of comments people made about me. But in reality, these were just excuses they were making for themselves. They are the same excuses Julia is still making and the ones I made for myself over the years. That is why I can identify it for what it was.
When the second commercial came along, my stylist kept me in that damn jacket, so people still doubted my progress. It reminded me of getting the role of Effie in
Dreamgirls.
I heard so many people say, “She got the part, but I bet she can’t sing the music,” and, “She can sing, but can she act?”
People! Stop!
For all of those doubters, haters, and excuse-makers out there—listen up because I’ve got something to say.
Hear this loud and clear.
I am completely in charge of the choices I make about what I am doing to lose weight and get healthy
.
And you know what? We
all
have this power.
Don’t be angry with me for something good I’ve done for myself. Be angry with yourself for not having the courage to do the same in your own life.
At the end of the day, you’re not hurting me—you’re hurting yourself.
So, stop pointing the finger at everyone else.
Stop making excuses about why you “can’t.”
And start taking action.
The same frame of mind that is keeping you from doing it is the mind that will help you to achieve what you want to do.
If you’re at home reading this book and asking yourself why I have this success and you don’t, don’t be angry with me—stop and ask yourself what your issues are that are holding you back. Don’t be afraid of the answers. Be afraid of not asking the questions.
My cousin Gina started Weight Watchers the same time I did. Every time I saw her, I was losing weight and she wasn’t. She’d make comments like, “You’re skinny and I can’t stand you,” while complaining that the program wasn’t working for her.
“Girl, you know you’re not working the program. If you were, you’d be skinny, too!” Then I told her to stop her complaining and get into the right mind-set so she could do it. When she finally made up her mind to lose the weight, it fell off just like that. If you can break down those walls you’ve spent so many years building to protect yourself, you can achieve anything.
Are you still making excuses or are you ready to make a change?
And speaking of change, I never thought I’d see the day that my entire family would gravitate toward something like losing weight. It still blows my mind. I often ask myself, Is this the same
family? Everyone from the women and the men, the young and the old, is finally consciously aware of what they are putting in their bodies and want to make the right choices. Remember, I come from a family where food was a major part of every gathering and where the women would get on your case if they thought you were getting too thin. A family that loved a table full of fried chicken, pork chops, biscuits, and gravy.
Our biggest success story so far is my cousin Pam, who we lovingly refer to as our “biggest loser” because she has lost more than one hundred and five pounds so far (and counting). It had been a while since I had seen Pam, so after she lost around seventy-five pounds, I invited her to come see me at one of my shows. I saw this girl trailing me backstage but didn’t realize it was
my cousin
. I was only able to recognize her by the sound of her voice. I told her how amazing I thought she looked—and she did.
PAM CURB, MY COUSIN
Like a lot of women, I had slowly put on weight throughout the years without totally noticing just how much I’d gained. One morning I stepped on the scale and much to my surprise, it read 337 pounds! “No way!” I said out loud. The scale had to be wrong. I was expecting to see somewhere around three hundred pounds, but not 337.
Now you might think that weighing three hundred that an extra thirty-seven pounds wouldn’t much matter, but it did. Every time I went to the doctor over the years, I always let them weigh me, but I never allowed them to tell me the number on the scale. I’d avoided it for so long that I lost track of my weight.
I didn’t think it was possible that I had gained more than one hundred pounds since my wedding day thirteen years back. I didn’t realize that I was that big. I got a little weepy-eyed because I had let myself go that far without paying any attention to how I looked or felt.
The truth is, I was tired all of the time. I chalked that up to getting up early for work, taking care of my three children, and running around all the time. I didn’t have the energy to do any of it with gusto. When my three-year-old wanted me to play with her, I couldn’t. She became intentionally defiant when I was scolding her. I’d say, “Come here right now,” but she wouldn’t move because she knew there was no way I was going to chase her. I couldn’t.
We were all at a family gathering when Jen walked through the door looking like a model. “Girl, what are doing? Tell me now!” She said she had gone on Weight
Watchers. I had been on their plan before and didn’t believe her because I hadn’t lost a pound when I tried. But Jenny kept telling me how easy the program was, and by looking at her, it obviously works.
A few months later, I saw Jenny again. This time she had lost even more weight. I was mesmerized by how she looked.
“Pam, if someone gave you a book and told you to stay within these Points and you will lose weight while still eating anything you want, would you tell them no?” Jenny asked.
“I guess not,” I said.
That same night, the Lord spoke to me. “You aren’t going to be here for your kids.”
When I told my husband, Mario, about the message I had received, he said, “We want you to be here, Pam, and if you don’t make some changes, you won’t be.” He was right.
Shortly after that, Liz came to meet with some of our family members to get us all started. I was eager to jump on the bandwagon and give it a try. Liz explained the program to me in great detail. I immediately thought there was no way I could ever do it because I didn’t have time to
count my Points. The reality is that I wasn’t sure I was ready to give the plan a chance. Liz assured me that I was feeling like many of her members—overwhelmed. And she was right. “Then just change one thing, Pam. Weight Watchers is a lifetime journey. Tell me one thing you are going to change for this week and I promise that you will see results.” I had to think about it for a second. When I told Liz that I ate chips for breakfast, she said, “That’s not breakfast food.” And she was right. For the next week, I made a conscious decision to eat better. I told my husband, Mario, that I was going to give Weight Watchers a try and if he wanted to help me lose weight, then he had to help me with the plan. So he woke up at 3:00 in the morning to fix me a bag of food to take to work. He boiled eggs for me, gave me apples, carrots, and all sorts of healthy choices to pick from. I wasn’t used to preparing my breakfast or lunch, so Mario’s help meant the world to me.
Mario had noticed I had gained the weight over the years but he never said a word. He wanted me to lose the weight but never really pushed me. He encouraged me to get healthy, which I didn’t understand meant losing weight. He inspired me every day by reminding me that I didn’t have to be full, only satisfied. He helped me curb
my desire to go back for second helpings, something I never thought twice about before starting Weight Watchers. These days I have to make sure that I measure out my portions or I will still overeat.
I told my mother, husband, and children that I wanted to take a year and focus on taking care of myself so I could finally get healthy. They were all on board with that decision and said they would do whatever they could to help me get there. My husband got me started on taking walks around the neighborhood. He was committed to helping me on my journey any way he could. I was the luckiest wife on the planet because some husbands aren’t as supportive or involved. My mother helped out by making healthy dinners for us after I put in long days at work and didn’t have the time to cook for us myself. If I didn’t have everyone’s help, I am not sure I could have stayed with the program all on my own. My success has come from the love and encouragement I’ve received from all of my family.
Once I started exercising, I realized that I had to make the time to do that every day. It didn’t matter where or when as long as I got ten minutes of movement in. Since I drive a bus, I knew I had time while waiting in the lineup. I started running up and down the aisle of the bus until
the passengers started loading. Sometimes I’d park the bus while waiting and walk around it for those ten minutes. My passengers began to notice what I was doing and were encouraging me to keep up the good work. The more I worked out, the better I felt, and my results were even more significant. I eventually joined a health club to take my fitness to the next level. My husband joined, too, so I would have a workout partner to keep me motivated.
Weight Watchers is the easiest plan I have ever been on. I didn’t have to deny myself anything. If I wanted to eat a piece of cake without feeling bad, I could as long as I calculated in the Points for my day. Over the course of a year or so, I lost seventy-five pounds and felt great. My knees were no longer an issue; I had more energy and could breathe a lot easier. It was right around that weight that I hit a plateau in my loss. I began getting careless with tracking my Points. I was messing up every day and couldn’t seem to get back on track. Liz reminded me that every day was a new chance to start over, so once I could get my head back into the game, I was able to focus and get back to the plan. As Liz so often reminded me, eating healthy is a lifetime journey. People think of Weight Watchers as a diet, but it isn’t. It is a way of eating you
want to commit to for life. Not long ago, one of my coworkers saw me eating lunch and asked, “Are you still eating healthy?”
My answer was simple: “I have made a commitment to myself to turn my life around and this is part of it.”
To date, I’ve lost one hundred and five pounds. I’ve got fifty more to go. I don’t have a set weight goal, but I want to get down to a size 12 or 14. When I get there, I’ll be happy. My husband is grateful, too, because as he says, “I’ve got my wife back.”
