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you.”

Zayn can‟t think of anything else to say, and finally looks away, opting

to stare at the floor. He sits there, catching his breath, and tries not to

think about all the months of effort he‟s destroyed. It‟s honestly okay.

This is the best he‟s felt about himself in a very, very long time.

The silence stretches out until Liam finally breaks it. “I haven‟t got a

girlfriend.”

Zayn‟s head snaps up. “You don‟t?”

Liam shakes his head. “No.”

“Okay,” Zayn says. “I, I saw you in town with someone the other day,

and the way you were acting—I just assumed, I‟m sorry.”

Liam shakes his head ruefully. “Not your fault. Pretty sure I know who

it was. She‟s my ex, we‟re still friendly. Probably looks a little too

friendly if you don‟t know us. But no, I don‟t have a girlfriend.”

“Okay,” Zayn says. He doesn‟t know where to go from there. The fact

that Liam hasn‟t run screaming from his flat is probably a good sign,

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though. There‟s another long silence, just the two of them sitting at

Zayn‟s dinner table, but finally Liam breaks it again.

“I,” Liam starts, looking unsure, and then he cuts himself off and he‟s...

he‟s smiling. “Can I kiss you?”

Zayn feels, as if from far away, his entire brain shut down.

“What,” he says.

“Sorry, I just,” Liam says, face pink. “I figured you were done with

your speech, and I had to sit and process it for a second, but I have, and

I want to kiss you now. Is that okay?”

Zayn is broken. This is the moment he‟s been waiting for and he is

broken, can‟t process it, can‟t remember how to form words. He

manages a nod and a strangled sort of noise, and Liam‟s smile spreads

across his whole face, eyes scrunching up at the corners that way

Zayn‟s always loved.

“Okay,” Liam says. He leans forward across the table, and when he

reaches out to touch the side of Zayn‟s face, his palm is sweating.

And suddenly Zayn is hit with the realisation that Liam is nervous.

Liam runs into burning buildings for a living, and Zayn makes him

nervous. No matter what else happens here, that‟s—that‟s something.

Zayn is still so frozen in shock that he doesn‟t realise he‟s supposed to

be doing anything until Liam is leaning in slowly, so slowly, and then

Zayn leans in too to meet him halfway across the table and tilts his chin

up a fraction of an inch and Liam‟s lips catch on his and Zayn stops

breathing.

It‟s the gentlest, most careful kiss of Zayn‟s life, the table between

them and his hands flat on the smooth surface. Liam‟s lips are even

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softer than he ever thought they would be. It‟s all Zayn can do to press

cautiously back, afraid that any sudden movements will spook one or

both of them. Liam drops one final peck against Zayn‟s mouth and

pulls away, his hand hand reaching out to rest on top of Zayn‟s.

Zayn stares at Liam, and Liam stares right back. He scuffs his feet on

the floor bashfully, looking at Zayn through his eyelashes. “I‟m not

very good at speeches, but, uh. Yeah. Me too,” he says. “I mean, not

the arson, but, you know, the other stuff. I like you, too.”

Now it‟s Zayn‟s turn to say, “What?”

Liam looks somewhat confused. “I mean, I—I like you, Zayn, I like

you like you—”

“No, I know what you‟re saying, just—really?” This can‟t possibly be

right. “Why didn‟t you say anything?”

Liam fixes him with a look that‟s so dead serious that Zayn wants to

kiss him all over his face. “Do you have any idea how terrifying you

are? You‟re so clever, and creative, and good at everything. And you‟re

gorgeous, by the way, though you already know that. You‟re way out

of my league. You‟re just—you‟re cool.”

Zayn just sort of gapes at him and then starts laughing. “I am, Christ, I

am the least cool human being alive, Liam. Did I mention that I

accidentally lit my own hair on fire? For God‟s sake, I have two boxes

of comic books that I keep under my bed. Also, you‟re beautiful, shut

up.”

Liam blushes and squeezes Zayn‟s hand. “I like comics too, so that just

makes you cooler, actually.”

“Really? Who‟s your favorite?” Zayn asks, and this isn‟t really the

time, but still.

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“Batman,” Liam says, because of course it‟s Batman. “You?”

“Green Lantern.”

“Nice.”

“You realize this is just proving my point that you should have said

something earlier,” Zayn says softly, trying not to let a smile split his

face entirely in half.

Liam at least has the decency to look bashful. “I dunno, Zayn, I thought

you were flirting with me sometimes? But then I thought you were

flirting with Louis and the rest of the lads too, and I could never really

tell, because I‟m crap at this stuff, so I just sort of gave up, I guess. I

couldn‟t really see what you would want with me..” He swallows and

looks almost frightened. “Zayn, I‟ve only really ever been in two real

relationships, both with women I thought I was going to marry. I‟m not

artistic or any sort of genius. For what it‟s worth, that poetry book was

a gift for my sister. I just go to work and see my family and think about

getting a dog. Spending time with you and your friends is the most

excitement I‟ve had in a very long time, and I‟m not sure I ever really

kept up.”

Zayn turns his hand over and laces his fingers with Liam‟s. He‟s

considering quitting his job and turning complimenting Liam into a

full-time career. “First off, they‟re your friends too, now, and you fit in

just fine. Secondly, I don‟t want all these things you‟re upset that

you‟re not. I want you, even if you don‟t read poetry. I want someone

who‟s genuine and sweet and likes Batman and who‟s steady enough to

balance out all the ridiculous shit in my head and my life.” He grins.

“Not that I don‟t intend to corrupt you a little. But I still just want you.”

“Okay,” Liam says. “Okay. Good.” He brings their linked hands up to

his mouth, and presses a kiss to the back of Zayn‟s hand. “I want that.

You and me.”

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Then he smiles, and his tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip, and

whatever part of Zayn‟s brain that was focused on trying to react to this

like a reasonable human evaporates into a cloud of dust.

He lets go of Liam‟s hand long enough to move around the table and

pull him upright, hands fisted in his shirt. Liam is laughing as Zayn

reels him into a kiss—their second kiss, and isn‟t that the best thought

Zayn has ever had. Normally Zayn has moves, would be sweeping

someone off their feet by now—possibly literally—but as it stands he‟s

pleased with himself that he manages to pull Liam to him as he slumps

back against a wall. Liam wants him. Liam knows everything, and

Liam still wants him. Zayn thinks he might be shaking.

Liam‟s hands go to his waist, steadying him, and Zayn slides his up to

cradle Liam‟s jaw. He wants to deepen the kiss, wants Liam‟s tongue in

his mouth, but they‟re both too damn happy. Neither of them can stop

smiling, pressing endless grinning kisses to each other‟s lips. Liam is

laughing against Zayn‟s mouth, and it‟s the best sound he‟s ever heard

in his life.

They slow down after a few minutes, the kisses growing longer and

longer as giddiness gives way to something else. Zayn tilts his head

slightly, because that‟s about all the motor control he‟s got, and the

feeling of Liam‟s lips opening under his is like a goddamn thunderbolt

to the spine. He darts his tongue inside, just a quick tentative slide

against Liam‟s, and is rewarded by the low noise Liam makes in his

throat. Liam curls his tongue around Zayn‟s but then pulls away

suddenly, giggling.

“Everything okay?” Zayn says, his hands falling to Liam‟s shoulders.

“Yeah, perfect, I‟m sorry, just,” Liam pauses, running his hands up and

down Zayn‟s sides. “I‟ve never done this with a guy before?” He rushes

to continue, probably seeing Zayn‟s slightly panicked expression.

“Don‟t worry, this is—I am very sure that I want this. I‟ve just got

stage fright, I guess.”

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Zayn just gapes at him. Liam shouldn‟t be able to surprise him after all

this time, but by now Zayn should have stopped expecting Liam to be

like anyone else he‟s ever met.

“Did we not just talk about how I‟m, like, head-over-heels for you?” he

says, and God, he can‟t believe he gets to say that out loud. “You‟re not

going to scare me off, okay? I want whatever, Christ, whatever you‟re

willing to give me.”

Liam nods, smiling. “Okay.” He pulls Zayn in close and nuzzles his

nose against his cheek. “God, Zayn, I knew I would like this, but,” and

Zayn can hear him swallow, “I really like it.”

And fuck, it‟s not fair to say things like that, not right after Zayn had

made a mental note to take things slow. He pushes blindly at Liam‟s

shoulders, backing him up against the kitchen counter, and takes his

mouth, groaning at the way Liam sucks on his tongue. Liam chases

after him as he pulls back, swiping his tongue across Zayn‟s bottom lip

before biting down so, so gently, and Zayn has to break away to catch

his breath. He looks up at Liam, and if he weren‟t already halfway in

love with him, the expression of proud astonishment on Liam‟s face

would have done the trick.

“I think,” Zayn starts, lost for words. “I think it‟s safe to say that I like

it too.”

“Yay!” Liam says in a small voice, smiling with his entire face, and

okay, maybe it‟s more than halfway. He reaches out, and Zayn‟s not

quite sure what he‟s doing until he feels Liam‟s index finger and thumb

close quickly over one of his earrings before pulling away. “Sorry,”

Liam says guiltily, “I‟ve just always—sorry.” He looks like a puppy

about to get smacked with a newspaper.

Always, Zayn thinks wonderingly, and grabs the collar of Liam‟s shirt.

He‟s got no finesse, just pulls Liam into a rough, clumsy kiss that he

hopes says everything he doesn‟t have words for. God, this is nothing

like how Zayn imagined, and so, so much better.

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“Could you,” Zayn says, breaking the kiss even though every nerve in

his body is screaming at him to do exactly the opposite, “could you,

God, can you give me a second? I need to...” he trails off helplessly,

gesturing over his shoulder toward the bathroom.

“Yeah, of course,” Liam says, and Zayn has to kiss him again one last

time before breaking away.

He leans back against the bathroom door as soon as he gets it shut

behind him. Breathe, Malik, fucking breathe. If he has a stroke and dies

before he ever gets a chance to see Liam naked he will never forgive

himself.

He pulls his phone out of the pocket of his sweatshirt, because he feels

like if he doesn‟t tell somebody about this right now he‟s going to

burst. He wants climb up on the roof and shout about it until his

neighbors call the police, honestly, but for now a text to Louis will do.

DESTINY ACHIEVED :D :D :D :DDDDDDD XXXXXX

It takes him a couple of tries since he can‟t seem to get his hands to

stop shaking, but finally he manages to hit send. Then he switches his

phone to silent, drops it on the bathroom counter, and wrenches the

door open again.

He‟s confronted with the sight of Liam standing in his living room,

hands in his pockets. Zayn is suddenly reminded of old cartoon movies,

the ones he used to watch when he was a kid and had vague ambitions

of being one of those artists one day. You could always tell what parts

of a scene were going to move because they were animated just a bit

brighter than everything around them. That‟s what Liam looks like in

his flat, like the realest thing in the room, waiting on him.

“Do you want to go to dinner with me?” Liam blurts out, immediately

flushing red as soon as the words leave his mouth. He looks like he

wants to backtrack or apologize, but he doesn‟t, just looks Zayn right in

the eyes.

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Zayn wanted to shout before, but this makes him want to sing. He

knows there are a million love songs in the world, but he can‟t think of

a single one that would cover this, that could capture the feeling of

seeing such a wonderful person be brave enough to offer you

everything you‟ve ever wanted without blinking.

Maybe he‟ll write one.

He leaves the bathroom door and walks over to Liam, not stopping until

he can hook his chin over Liam‟s shoulder. “Yeah, I‟d love that,” he

says softly, murmuring the words into Liam‟s neck and slipping his

arms around him.