i 024767349a4cae9a (32 page)

He knew that my being married couldn't quench my feelings for you. And as my marriage has been a failure I have really felt no guilt in loving you. The guilt I've experienced is connected with being unable to hide my feelings, and so soon after Leonard's going. Yet again I say, I feel sure he knew exactly what would happen, and, what's more, that he wanted it this way. Believe me, dear, he wanted it

appen, because of his unselfish, undying love for jl... Please, please! Don't cry again.

You've cried tigh, any more will make you ill. Ah, here's "k's beverage." He rose quickly to his feet and as

tput the tray on the side-table, he said,

"I'll see Betty. Thank you." Then he added, "Give me bar But minutes so I can gulp down a cup too, then come k and help your istress up to bed."

Oh no! No!"

e swung round to Helen, whose head was shakj bar in protest, and insisted 'allyes, yes. And I should

"agie Doctor Peters will be here shortly and that's

jiere he'd want to see you."

bar jVhen Betty left the room, he poured out a cup of

and, taking it to Helen, said, "Drink it up. This y not be a cure, but a couple of days rest in bed

jKainly will be."

Two days in bed! No, no, John. I' all right

*" You're not all right, and tomorrow, let me tell you'll feel worse. That spasm of crying burst a ,gi in your head and the reaction will set in. In any s bar every. you must do what Doctor Peters tells you. W, I'm not sure if I'll be in tomorrow because jteie is near her dme."

11*011, yes. Yes, of course."

y seem to want me on hand. Not that Doctor

"nwallis wouldn't do a better job, but they've onped for the amateur."

bar fter hastily drinking his cup of tea he said, "I still leave you to the maids now, dear."

And then

in a lowered voice, h added, "Not only for your sake

but for mine."

He took her hand ad pressed it against his cheek for a moment before turning abruptly from her and leaving the room. .

In the hall, his deprt1 seemed to rise both Hannah and Betty, because Betty said, "You going,

Doctor?"'

"Yes. Yes, I'm going. Betty, I ve overstayed my welcome." He smiled at her; then addressing Hannah. he said, Whe octor peters comes' wnl 0 please tell him that I'll drop ln to see hlm me tomorrow?"' , 'allyes. Yes, I'll do that, , , He now took his hat from Betty s hand, saying,

'Look after your mistress."

*ally'll be in toorrow. Doctor wont you?"'

It was Hannah asking the question now, and he said, 'I don't know yet Hannah. I've a busy day before me. and I'm expecting a baby wmuch brought a concerted giggle from the two women, and he said, *allyes, you might laugh, but I m a bit worried about it because it's my first. What I mean is, it's a first."

*Oh! Doctor." Betweeny P her handover er mouth. This going out on a lagh. he augured well, until he remebered Johnson s last words: In any case Doctor, you a" wln'

i hat's it dear. Come on. That's a girl...

Ah, here Jicomes, he...she...or it. My!

My! Good girl! Good @rl!" As Rosie's body slumped into the bed, John faded the wet yelling infant to the midwife, saying, yle has some lungs on him, proclaiming already that 's a Scot."

H "Oh, my! My!" Annie Macintosh held her arms out Jr her grandson, and the midwife said, "Sponge his

bar Every 'I know. I know." Annie's voice now was a shout

ad to it she added, "Robbie! Robbie!"

bar bar When the door opened almost immediately, Robe rushed into the room, but instead of looking to ards the baby in his mother's arms, he made for hfe bed where Rosie lay, her face covered with sweat gfld smiles.

fe He was bending over her now and she put up her

*and and stroked his hair as she said, "A boy, Robe. You have a son."

bar so He made no reply. His head drooping, he pressed JN'S face against hers and his arms went about her

shoulders and raised her up and held her close.

Still he didn't speak, but John did, crying at him, "Put her down; and get by, out of the way; she wants tidying up. And she's had a heavy time.

Yet I shouldn't think a first baby has come so easy before. You got off lightly, Mrs Macintosh, d'you know that?"'

Rosie now turned her face towards John as she said, "Did I, John? It didn't seem like that to me."

"Well, you can take my word for it. And you, sir:

do you intend to look at your son, or do you want him sent back?"'

There was a giggle from the midwife at that; then Annie, moving forward, handed the baby to its father.

Robbie stood looking down on the child that was blinking up at him. Its lips were moving as if it were endeavouring to speak. It had hair, too, quite a large patch acros the top of its head.

"Give him to me, dear. What's the matter with you?"' His mother took the child from him; and in some amazement watched him hurry from the room. Then she spoke to the midwife who was attending Rosie, saying, "That's nothing unusual. You have to remember, Mrs Macintosh, that your son's just given birth to a baby, and for him it was very hard labour."

They were all laughing now, including Rosie; and John said, You all right, Mrs McQueen?"'

Yes, Doctor, I'm all right. Just leave everything to me."

"I'll go and clean up a bit, then," and he left this room to go downstairs and into the kitchen, there to see Robbie scrambling to his feet from where he had

sitting at the table, and when he tued his head y, John went to him and, putting his hand on his ilder, he said, "Don't be ashamed of this mot but keep it close to you, something to rememfdways."

: waited for her so long," Robbie said, 'I never ight it would happen; and now this seems too d to be true."

joo man," said John; 'we both need someg-let's have a coffee with a kick in it."

aving washed his hands and arms, he sluiced his **

under the pump over the sink; and as he stood ng himself he realised he was very tired. It had i a hectic twenty-four hours, in which he had ht with that man and seen to his going. Not an r later, he had been called upon to attend a road dent, in which a horse had run amok after being bed in the hind quarters by some young hoolii, and two people had been badly injured.

Foling this, he'd had a very full surgery and another with Doctor Comwallis, putting him in the picas to what had transpired at Col Mount. And ugh the older man's advice had been kindly en when he had said, "I'd step carefully, John, i now on," he had nevertheless added, "Don't format Madam Beatrice is still prominently on the ie."

had been almost eight o'clock before he reached ie, and there once again, he'd had to relate all events to his mother and this had visibly dised her. And she had said, "Could it affect your tice?"' And his answer to this had been, "What

matter if it did? But it's more likely to bring the women in to inspect this Casanova," at which she had laughed and said, "You're right there."

When he had at last lain down, he'd had time to think about what, to him, had been the main event of the day, which was that Helen had cried; and her tears had brought everything into the open.

Then it seemed he had hardly got to sleep before Robbie came knocking at the door. And now Rosie had a son and Robbie had a son, and Robbie, too, had cried. When would he himself cry?

There was no answer to that.

his eatrice marched out of the solicitor's office, telllig herself it was the last time that man would get X in there. If she took any more of his advice, the ad would be dribbled away in quarter acres. This as the second time she had signed away a quarter If an acre to that builder. It didn't matter that it was

bar ugh woodland, it was still land and land was all e had, and she had told him it would be diminished sQuite further.

H When he had come back with, "I'm glad you'll be ble to manage, Mrs Falconer," it was then she had anted to yell, "Why don't you get on to him? He Ihould be seeing to the upkeep of the house and bar rounds. I've only one gardener now." However, had he done so it would be telling him that she was in bar bar position herself to put this to her husband, be lluse they were living apart; yet at the same time Ufae knew he was already aware of this.

I Her mind was working strangely these days. She bar toould concentrate on nothing but the fact that her husband was living but an arm's length from her.

She knew the room he slept in' at least the two of which he had the choice, the third one being too small. The windows were at the back of the house and looked on to the wood. Alost below them was the low box hedge that separated the annexe garden from the grounds of the house. In this part of the woodland the trees were thickly entwined, but not for the first time had she made her way through them in the dark and looked up at tose two windows, and had only just quelled the desire to throw a brick through them.

She was walking down Northumberland Street when, her temper ebbing away. there came upon her that tired feeling that often preceded an attack, and she almost said aloud, "Oh, nay od! Not here!

Doctor Comwallis had given her pills to take when she felt like this. She had some in her handbag.

She now stopped and, taking P a

position at the end of a huge showroom window, she fumbled in her bag, and without taking the small cardboard box from it, she prised open the lid, and in so doing spilt the pills which brought from her no selfcondemnation, only the words, 'It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Take it! Take it!"

She had a job to swallow the pill but this done, she took in a long breath, then turned from the window and continued her walk, telling herself now that she had better get home. B..but what about her shopping?

Oh, yes, yes. There was that good sweet shop. But whereabouts was it?

She found the shop in a side street, its window w with an arrav of boxs o chocoates and

*

aSien she came out o the shop which hree one-comjti'

pid boxes ofRowntree's chocolates, sh was feelquite pleased with herself. Two pounds had een

"inut for some time.

IS-UCH was her feeling of satisfaction that she scur-Jd now to the saion.

bar he train was full. It would seem that everybody ,ead been shopping in Newcastle. She could never ford a first-class ticket for herself, so she had to "disJtt up with sitting next to people of all types and es, and today was no exception.

Fortunately she had a seat next to the window, and itSo kept her face turned in that direction and tried be close her ears to the buzz and chatter about her. The train was crossing the river between Newcase and Gateshead, and the river hardly showed itself, thick was it covered with ships and vessels of all es and description. She never asked herself where ey might be going, or from where they had come, E"...ier mind was making comparisons between the of travel she was made to endure now and that h had been usual in her grandfather's time, and Jn for a time while her father was alive. If they ed to do shopping in Newcastle, there had alfs been the carriage.

,. to he gave a little shake of her head as her thoughts ladded, But you were young, very young. It At Gateshead, except for herself and one other bar person the carriage emptied. But just as the train was about to move on the door was pulled open and a woman jumped into the compartment and sat down in the opposite window seat with a flop. The guard banged the door closed and the train now gathered speed, and as the wheels went clippity-clop, clippityclop, they resounded so loud in Beatrice's head that she felt she wanted to put her hands over her ears as she stared at the newcomer.

The newcomer was staring at her.

Beatrice jerked her head back towards the window. Now the wheels were yelling That woman! That woman! Clippity-clop, clippity-clop. That woman!

She now drew in a shuddering breath and warned herself to keep calm. There were two more stations to go before Fellbum. Her station was High Fellbum, and she prayed that the other passenger would remain in the carriage until then.

At the next station, the woman remained seated.

When the train re-started she kept her face turned to the window, but that was only for a time, when she was aware of the woman adjusting her hat, then gathering her bag and small parcels together. And she knew that she should do the same and get out with her, and wait for another train. Yet she remained stiffly seated, hardly moving a muscle, for somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that once they were alone together, that person opposite would start talking, and she would hear things about him. Strangely it seemed that the creature must hate him as much as she herself did, seeming to blame him for her present condition in life.

It happened just as she had anticipated. The other Bpsenger got off the train, the carriage door banged bar Hpied. The train started, and so did Mollie Wallace,

Jite pleasantly at first, saying, 'unny, the folks one bar Bpets up with when travelling on a train." bar

bar Beatrice kept her attention fixed tightly on the to

bar idow, and the voice continued, "People get talking bar

bar bar trains, especially them that live alone.

I always bar andful sony for lonely people, especially them that ije been done down by their men. I know all about bar Have bar that because I was done down by my man.

But me, jCa never lost for company. Men and me get on, in

Bways we get on. But you, I hear, live the life of I

bar ermit. Like a fortress your place. You rarely go

U and nobody comes in, except tradesmen.

And

esmen...well! you get the right tradesmen and ipa don't need any newspapers."

gjlThere was silence for a time; in fact, it went on

bar 0 long that Beatrice almost turned to the woman to

e if she might have fallen asleep. But suddenly her

oice came again, with what another person might pve recognised as a tinge of sadness, for she was Jiying, Davey, my bloke, he was a decent sort of

Jandap. A bit soft, oh aye, a bit soft, really too soft to

bar again holes with; but at bottom he was a decent

bar ugh fella. And he was a working man." Now the