Hunter's Heart (23 page)

“Come on in.”

He explained everything. Held nothing back. Senior asked an occasional question but that was it, until he finished.

“State exactly what it is you’re asking.”

“I want to find her.”

“And when you do?”

“I….” What
did
he want? Before it had been to be with her. Do whatever it took to accomplish that.

Now?

“Man, I need to know,” Senior said. “I won’t help you find her if you intend on going apeshit when you do.”

That took him by surprise.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Senior said. “It’s happened before. Seen a man lose everything and go to jail.”

Hunter stood and went to the window. Out there, men were engaged in all aspects of the military life he loved. He didn’t want to throw that away. He turned. “I was serious. Thought she felt the same way. I want to see her.” He cleared his throat. “Hear her tell me why. I can’t, won’t do anything.”

“Didn’t really think you would but I had to be sure. Sit down.”

Hunter did.

Senior leaned back, rested his elbows on the arms of the chair and steepled his fingers. “What are you thinking?” he asked.

“Cyber search. Ask Jackson to help. I didn’t want to ask until I ran it past you first.”

Senior nodded. “He’s good people and has contacts who will stay quiet.” He lifted the phone on his desk.

When Jackson arrived, Hunter went through the story again leaving out the more personal details. The man rubbed his chin and was quiet for a long time.

“This is how it goes. I can’t work on this full time, neither can anyone who might help. Depending on how deep we have to go, we could wind up owing serious favors. You willing to do that?”

“Yes.” Hunter nodded. Finding her and talking one more time was worth anything.

The next few weeks were the most frustrating he’d lived through. With no control over what was happening he was edgy and had trouble concentrating. His blood pressure shot up and he was drinking way more than he should.

Finally Senior called. Jackson wanted to talk.

One look at Jackson and it didn’t take a genius IQ to know what he had to say wasn’t good. “Tell me.”

“Celia West rented a townhouse,” Jackson said, “owns a car, has a cell phone, a driver’s license, passport, bank account and credit card. Her townhouse lease was paid in advance for a year, so was her cell. The car was owned outright. The bank account and card have seen no activity since,” he paused a moment, “two days after you last saw her. The passport has never been used.”

Jackson fidgeted and rolled a pen in his fingers. “We spent four frustrating weeks of looking and calling in a lot of favors.” He shook his head. “Sorry man, we got a whole lot of nothing. It kinda pissed us off and well, we
ehh….”
He grimaced and his eyes darted around the room. Senior leaned in. “We did an end run on a government security system. We pushed the envelope,” Jackson said, “ran her name and passport photo through a deep security government records search.”

“And?” Hunter said.

“Instantly got heavy-duty warnings and threats. Then we were zapped.”

“Zapped? Explain,” Senior said.

“Wiped clean. Toast. We have four layers of security, routed the search through three other ISPs and they shut us down like we were a great grandpa using a first gen computer. Whoever this woman is, she has some sweet protection.”

Whoever this woman is.

Senior and Jackson stared at him.

“I know someone at NSA,” Jackson said. “Maybe—”

“No,” Hunter interrupted. “It’s done. You’ve gone above and beyond. Whatever program, agency she was with, swallowed her. She could be anywhere.” By now, he’d resigned himself to not finding her. Celia West no longer existed—if she ever did. From the looks on the faces of the Senior and Jackson they were thinking the same thing. Being hit by a falling building would have been easier to take than the realization it hadn’t been real—he’d been played.

It didn’t help knowing how fucking stupid he’d been, letting his dick control his life and missing her lies.
And Christ,
taking her to meet his brothers and their families. Was going to take her to meet his mom and dad. His stomach boiled.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“I appreciate what you’ve done. I owe you,” he said.

Jackson stood. “Let me know if you want to take that NSA step.”

He nodded. “Thanks.”

“What’s up?” Bug asked, coming in as Jackson left. “Man, you don’t look so good,” he said, settling into the chair Jackson vacated.

Bug knew how he felt about Celia and now he’d know what a dumbass he was. He recalled Bug’s words about women being trouble—but worth it. Maybe in some other universe. In his world, a woman had put him in pain like he’d never experienced.

A geyser of memories went off in his brain. Each searingly painful. Her face. Her smile. Her scent. The feel of her against him. He’d been ready to give up his old life to be a part of hers. Share everything with her. He could push away physical pain but not this.

Papa Roach’s
Forever
pounded in his head—‘
days come and go feelings are forever.’
A nuclear blast went off inside him. Radiation burned his guts, toxic gas stung his lungs and radioactive particles seared through his bloodstream. He was fucked up and spiraling out of control. His uneven breathing turned to a rapid, dizzying sucking. He had to get outside. Get air.

“Bro,” Bug laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Get off me, mother fucker.” He shoved Bug’s hand away and pushed to his feet.

“Frog, set your ass back down,” Senior ordered.

“Fuck you,” Hunter said and rumbled to the door like a driverless tank where he slammed into Bambi, cup in hand.

“What the fuck’s wrong with you, asshole?” Bambi snapped in his usual good humor while brushing at the coffee that splashed his pants.

A growl boiled up from deep inside and broke free in a gawd-awful sound that no human should be able to make. The moment he rounded on his friend he knew it was wrong but he couldn’t control himself. Bambi lost the cup and blocked the punch. As they grappled, Bug tried unsuccessfully to step between them and they went down. He was aware of the howling threats coming from him. He was also aware of Senior and every SEAL in the fucking building crowding into the hall and piling on.

“What the fuck?” LT’s voice boomed from above.

“Disappear,” Senior bellowed back. “
Now
. You don’t want to see this.”

Flashes of red and black flicked in his vision. He fought even though there were half a dozen bodies holding him.

“Geesus, what’s wrong? Never seen him mad.”

“Came back—”

“Ow. Damn it, that hurt.”

“His woman bugged out,” Bug said.

“Mother fucker.”

“No way.”

“Bro, we’ll help you find her.”

“Already been tried,” Senior growled. “No go.”

They talked about him like he wasn’t there. Tidal surges of emotion fueled by adrenalin made him want to fuck them up, smash them into oblivion.

“Man, take it easy. You aren’t the only dude this has happened to.”

“Get off me, you douche bags.” He didn’t give a shit who it had happened to before. He bucked and fought furiously in an epic brawl where he was the only one fighting.

“
Frog
,” Senior said in a booming voice, getting his attention. He came nose to nose. His face red from the effort of restraining him. “
Get. Control
.”

Control.
He’d given it up to her. Let her in his head. He’d seen men take a dive after a broken relationship or marriage and he’d never understood losing it like that. He sure as hell did now. It was admitting failure. Giving everything and knowing it wasn’t good enough. He howled with the pain.

“Get. Control,” Senior demanded again.

The only way to get control was to let her go. Force her out of his head. Quit for the first time in his life. The fire erupting from every surface of his body slowly died. He quit struggling and went limp.

“You good?” Senior said, dragging in breaths.

“Yeah.” He was done.

Bambi eased off his chest. The others cautiously loosened their hold and moved away. A hand was offered and he sat. He moved to put his back against the wall and wiped the sweat dripping into his eyes. Pats to his head and shoulders came with murmured words of encouragement as his friends shuffled away. Finally, only Bug, Senior and Bambi where left. Bambi squatted in front of him. “You hurt anyplace?”

“No.” Unless you counted the choking, painful sorrow.

Bug sat across from him and moved his shoulders around then his head side to side. “If anyone is wondering, I’m fine.”

Senior stood over him, hands on hips. “Clean up this mess then see me to sign leave papers.” Hunter started to protest but the look on the man’s face changed his mind. Senior pointed at him. “You are on leave for a week. Link up with your family.” He stormed away.

He said nothing. Bug and Bambi ambled away silently, leaving him to suffer the shame of going apeshit crazy alone. Senior had a point about getting with his family.

He went home and spilled his guts.

His family circled the wagons and he relaxed. Finally, he did something he hadn’t done since he returned from Venezuela. Slept. For fourteen hours. He called Senior and took another week’s leave to reconnect with his family.

Chapter 16

He moved faster than he ever had in his life.

Celia enjoyed shopping the Eastern Market in DC. Navigating the crowds, she felt a part of life. Something she never thought would happen. Her therapist had suggested, actually insisted, she do things like this. Get out into the world. Said having her senses assailed would help conquer her fears. The doc was right—it did help and the market was the perfect place. The colors and scents of late summer flowers. The mouth-watering smells coming from food vendors. The people. Adults perusing items in the stalls. Laughing and chattering children. Listening to different languages, always alert for her mother tongue. Prepared to run if she did.

She’d been eating better. Each week bringing home a variety of fresh produce, meats and fish. Her canvas bag was already loaded with tomatoes, zucchini, lettuce and eggs. Only one more stop to make. The fishmonger’s, where an unusually large crowd gathered. She drew close and went up on her toes but couldn’t see what was happening.

“What’s going on?” she asked the tall man next to her. Another thing she would never have done before—talk to a stranger.

“Violeta is filming a segment here.”

Hunter’s mother
. Cold goose flesh crept its way over her and her belly vibrated with tremors. Lightheadedness overtook her. Gia and her husband would be here with the production crew. The market’s colors and sounds blurred and drifted away.

Celia grasped the edge of a stall with a trembling hand. She wasn’t ready to be found. Talking to Hunter was inevitable but she wanted it to be on her terms. An all too familiar voice in her head repeated
run
over and over but her legs simply would not respond. Finally, she forced her hand free and took a clumsy step to obey the voice’s command…
and
slammed hard into a woman. Celia’s sunglasses went to the ground and if it hadn’t been for the woman grasping her arm, she would have followed right behind.

“You okay?” the woman asked.

“Yes.” Celia kept her gaze on the large crowd, watching for Gia, or even worse Hunter, as she squirmed to get out of the woman’s grip. The woman held firm.

“Let go of me,” she said, desperate to be free of the stranger’s grasp, searching the crowd for Hunter and his family.

“Okay.” The woman released her. “I didn’t want you to fall,” she said, sounding annoyed as Celia pushed past her.

“Wait.” The woman snagged her arm. “Your glasses.”

Celia whirled on her, prepared to push her away and found herself looking into Gia’s face.

“Celia?” Hunter’s sister pushed her own sunglasses down her nose and peered over the top. “Is that you? With the darker hair I….” She looked around. “Santino is over—”

Celia shoved hard enough to make Gia stumble back against the stall. Then she did what she did best—bolted. Walking fast, she elbowed through unhurried shoppers who gave her hard looks. The loaded canvas bag slowed her down and she let it slip from her fingers to thump on the pavement.

“Hey,” a man shouted. She chanced a glance over her shoulder to see a man holding it up. “Lady. Your bag,” he yelled as she shouldered through a meandering family.

She dug a ball cap from her purse, pulling it down low and continued moving ahead as fast as the thickening crowd allowed. She didn’t dare look back again. It would be a giveaway to anyone following. Her BMW SUV was parked on 7th, not far—five blocks away. She forced herself not to run and fought to keep her mind from going to that dark place where her fears hid, waiting to be freed and do battle with her. She’d be okay. She’d be okay. She
would
be okay.

On the way to the show’s production truck Hunter saw Gia at a stall in the next lane. His sister gripped a woman looking around in a way that put him on alert. People in the public eye were frequently accosted on the street. Gia was no exception.