Hunter Derby: (Show Circuit Series -- Book 3) (8 page)

A well-known trainer had suffered a stroke during Florida and was now recovering and photos and videos of her circulated all over social media asking for donations. Like too many trainers she had no health insurance or savings. Every time one of the images came up on Zoe’s news feed, she quickly swiped past.

She felt shaky as she led Daisy into the ring and she wondered if she should tell Kirsten that she was feeling sick, or that she just couldn’t do this part. She was about to say something when John walked into the ring with Kirsten. It caught her so off guard to see him there and she forgot about her nerves for a moment.

“Zoe, this is John Bradstreet. He’ll be the other walker. John, this is Zoe Tramell.”

Zoe said, “We know each other already.”

“Okay,” Kirsten said. “John will walk next to Molly. Zoe, your job will be to lead Daisy. Keep her walking straight.”

“That’s it?”

“Basically, yes,” Kirsten said.

Zoe had more questions flying through her head. What if Molly fell off? What would Molly look like? What would be wrong with her?

Her nerves had returned.

She heard car tires crunching on the gravel driveway. Soon Molly, whoever she was, would be here. Daisy blew out a huge breath onto Zoe’s arm. Zoe was grateful for the distraction. She fidgeted with Daisy’s bridle, making sure the keepers were all tidy.

Molly and a woman who was either her mother or her caregiver appeared in the doorway. Kirsten greeted them warmly.

Molly wasn’t in a wheelchair. She was walking, albeit with a lot of help from the woman. She walked behind Molly, her chest pressed against Molly’s back, her arms hooked under Molly’s, basically holding her upright. Molly took jerky steps, her muscles clearly not doing what they were supposed to. Zoe noticed how skinny and atrophied her legs were.

Zoe thought she would feel a bolt of disgust but instead she felt nothing but awe. Awe for Molly and how hard it must be for her not to be able to walk on her own.

With the woman’s help, Molly made it up to the mounting block. John signaled to Zoe to lead Daisy over.

“Hi, Molls,” he said and Molly replied, “You again?”

Kirsten said, “Molly, we have a new helper today, Zoe. Zoe, this is Molly and her mother, Joanne.”

“Hi,” Zoe said. So it
was
her mother. Zoe felt tears nearly pressing at her eyes. Here was a mother so dedicated that she held her daughter while she walked. There were certainly dedicated mothers she saw at the horse shows—not her own, of course. But the horse show mothers sometimes seemed more devoted to winning than to their children.

Would those horse-show moms be like Joanne if they had a daughter like Molly?

“Hi,” Molly said and smiled a little crookedly at Zoe, some of the muscles in her face frozen. Still, her smile was bright and infectious. Zoe felt instantly at ease. This was going to be all right after all.

John and Kirsten helped Molly mount Daisy. Molly looked more relaxed the moment she was in the saddle, like she was a creature that needed to be on horseback.

Joanne stepped away as Kirsten talked to Molly.

“How’s your day going?”

“Okay.”

“Ready to work hard today? Work on your core? And have some fun?”

Molly nodded.

“Okay, let’s go out to the rail.”

Molly and Kirsten talked much of the time that Molly rode. Zoe had assumed therapeutic riding was basically like a pony ride—a few times around in each direction and then get off. But she soon learned it was not that different than a typical riding lesson.

Kirsten was as or more skilled than a typical instructor and worked on Molly’s position and body control. She had her put her arms out to the sides and lean forward to touch different parts of the saddle. Then she had Molly steer Daisy in and out of cones and play a game of red-light-green-light. John walked next to her the whole time, sometimes touching her leg or hands to help demonstrate what Kirsten was explaining.

Zoe was surprised at how quickly the lesson went by. She’d figured every minute would feel like forever but a quick glance at the clock in the ring showed it was already half over.

Kirsten had Molly wait in the middle of the ring while she attached what looked like laminated photographs onto different spots on the walls of the arena with velcro.

“Who’s your favorite singer or band?” Molly asked Zoe.

“Me?” Zoe was taken aback that Molly was talking to her. “Um, maybe Blake Shelton or Luke Bryan.”

“Luke Bryan?” Molly said. “My brother likes Luke Bryan.”

“Who’s your favorite?” Zoe asked.

“I like Carrie Underwood and Beyoncé. But my favorite favorite favorite is Taylor Swift. You’re really pretty.”

Zoe’s face flushed red. Not at being called pretty necessarily but at being told she was pretty in front of John. How was she supposed to respond? Was she supposed to deny it? She decided to say, “Thank you. That’s so sweet.”

Zoe had thought the talk about music was pretty random but it turned out the photographs Kirsten was pinning up on the walls were of singers. Kirsten came back into the middle of the ring and then instructed Molly to go find Christina Aguilera.

Molly jostled Daisy with her lower leg and tried to direct her with an outstretched hand but Zoe had to help her maneuver Daisy toward her destination. The first photo wasn’t Christina, but Beyoncé. It took two more stops to find Christina. Then she had to find Gwen Stefani and back to Beyoncé before Kirsten announced she needed to find Taylor Swift.

Molly’s face lit up. She had pretty blue eyes, freckles, and dark hair that was pulled back in a ponytail under her helmet. “Taylor!”

“I like her music too,” Zoe said. Mostly Zoe liked the songs about Taylor’s troubled relationships. She could identify with the girl on that level.

When they found Taylor’s photo, Molly leaned forward in the saddle. John moved with her, just in case, shadowing her.

“You kind of look like her,” Molly said. “You’re both super super pretty!”

“You are really making my day,” Zoe said. “You’re making me feel so good about myself!”

It was kind of sad but honestly Zoe hadn’t had so much praise or attention in a long while. It
was
making her feel good.

“Don’t you think she’s super pretty?” Molly said to John.

“Taylor Swift?” John said.

“No, Zoe.”

Now, Zoe’s face was bright red. She looked at Daisy’s hooves, hoping John might not notice her blushing. The moment until he spoke felt long, as she wondered how the hell he was going to respond.

“Both are super pretty,” John said. “But not as pretty as you, Molls.”

Molly cocked her head to the side and smiled broadly at John.

Now, look who’s sweet,
Zoe thought to herself.

At the end of the lesson, Joanne appeared back in the ring. John and Kirsten helped Molly dismount. Joanne immediately took her position behind Molly again.

“Mom,” John said. “Do you want me to help her out?”

Mom.
Zoe’s head spun.
Mom.
Joanne was John’s mom?

Zoe registered Joanne’s black hair and fair complexion. The fact that she was tall, probably around five-foot-ten.

If Joanne was his mom, Molly was his sister.

My brother likes Luke Bryan.

Zoe remembered the Luke Bryan playing in John’s car.

Shit. No wonder John had been so upset when Zoe had insulted Pepper for being an Appy and generally acted like Narrow Lane was beneath her.

“I’m fine, sweetie,” Joanne said. “See you later.”

“Bye John, bye Zoe,” Molly called.

Zoe waved and smiled but she felt like she might throw up. She was such an ass.

In the barn, she untacked Daisy, glad to have something to do.

When John came in, she said, “I had no idea you—” She didn’t even know how to finish her sentence, which made her feel like even more of an ass.

“That my sister has cerebral palsy? Yup, she does.”

“I was such a jerk that day I said that stuff about Pepper. Now I’m starting to see how important these horses are.”

“They’re important all right,” John said.

“I’m really, really sorry,” she said again.

“It’s okay,” John replied. “It’s certainly not the first time anyone’s been insensitive.”

Zoe cringed at the word insensitive, even though that’s exactly what she had been.

CHAPTER TEN

The kids all had their different personalities. Zoe felt really stupid for having somehow assumed they’d be anything other than regular kids. Sure, it was painful sometimes to see a kid who had so many challenges in life. But it made her realize how lucky she was and how she couldn’t afford to mess up her own life.

The horses allowed the kids to do things they usually weren’t capable of. Some of the kids could do more than others. Some could trot and one could canter. Others could only walk, but still Zoe could see how relaxed they were once they were in the saddle.

One of the kids she led often was mostly non-verbal. On the day he clearly said Daisy’s name out loud, Zoe teared up.

After that lesson, she’d gone into Daisy’s stall, pressed her face against her coat, and full-on cried.

Kirsten had found her there.

“I’m not even sure why I’m crying exactly,” Zoe said. “It was just so amazing. You heard him, right? He clearly said Daisy.”

“I go home and cry like three days a week.”

Zoe wiped away her tears and a little of Daisy’s hair that was now plastered to her face. When Kirsten left her alone again, Zoe whispered to Daisy, “He said your name. Did you hear it? You are amazing. You are the best.”

The next time Zoe spoke to her counselor she told her how grateful she was to be working at Narrow Lane—how she felt it was making her a better person.

Zoe learned that just like with regular kids, she had her favorites. Of course Molly topped the list. John helped out plenty of days, not just with Molly. He seemed to have fully gotten over how she’d acted that first day they’d met at Narrow Lane.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me John’s sister rides at Narrow Lane?” she’d asked Linda the day after finding out.

“I didn’t tell you that?” Linda said.

“No, you didn’t, and I totally put my foot in my mouth in front of him.”

Linda shook her head. “I’m telling you, I can’t sleep so it’s like I’m not even thinking straight most of the time. I’m sorry.”

It wasn’t as if Zoe and John could hold amazing conversations as they worked together during a lesson at Narrow Lane, but just being in close proximity to him was something Zoe came to look forward to.

One time after a lesson finished up, Zoe got up the courage to ask him more about Molly. “I don’t know much about muscular dystrophy,” Zoe said. “Is it something you’re born with?”

“You mean cerebral palsy?” John said.

“Oh God, yeah. I just got the two confused. I should have known the difference.”

Here she was trying to be sensitive in how she asked and instead she had solidly inserted her foot in her mouth. Again.

“Don’t worry about it,” John said. “It’s not like I would have known much about it either if I hadn’t had Molly for my sister and then started helping at Narrow Lane.”

Zoe wanted to ask him if he would have volunteered at Narrow Lane if Molly wasn’t his sister. Basically she wanted to figure out how saintly he was.

“So cerebral palsy is usually something you’re born with although sometimes you can’t see it right away,” John said. “I think with Molly they started to know pretty early because she had problems swallowing. She still does. But mostly the muscle problems affect the way she moves. Some kids with CP have seizures but we’re lucky because Molly doesn’t. We’re also lucky that she doesn’t have neurological symptoms.”

“That’s good,” Zoe said, but then felt stupid again. Could there be anything good about having CP?

“How do you get it?” she asked.

“You don’t always know. It could be from premature birth or an infection during pregnancy. My mom didn’t have any of those so we don’t really know what happened or why she has it. I know my mom feels like somehow she did something wrong.”

“That’s awful.” Zoe thought of her own mother. Surely she had blamed herself for Brayden’s death and it had eaten away at her, making her basically unable to care for Zoe. After all, her mother should have kept a better eye on him. You don’t let a five year-old wander all around a farm unsupervised, especially a farm with large animals and a pond. Sometimes Zoe couldn’t decide what made her more angry—that her mother had let Brayden drown, or that after his death she wasn’t much of a mother to her.

“I know.” John looked contemplative, like it was something he thought about often.

But what could he possibly do about it? What could anyone do about it? When she’d first met John she’d assumed his life was near perfect with a perfect little happy family. She tended to assume that about most people. But the truth seemed to be that every family had its own pain. There was John’s family with Molly’s CP. And there was Dakota with her absentee parents. Also Hannah with her anxiety-plagued mother.

“I wish my mom didn’t blame herself in any way but I’m sure she does,” John said.

“She’s so good with Molly. She’s amazing.”

“She is,” John said. “And my dad too. They’ve never stopped trying to give Molly the best possible life and they never will.”

Zoe felt her throat getting thick. How would her life have been different if she’d had parents that cared about her as much as John’s and Molly’s parents clearly cared about them? But could she fully blame her mother after losing her son?

John’s experience with Molly made him good with the kids at Narrow Lane, or maybe he was just a natural at it. Either way, he was always ready with a steadying hand when they needed it. Somehow he seemed to anticipate what they’d need long before it was visible but he also didn’t overdo it; he didn’t come to their aid unnecessarily, which would make them feel weak.