Hunted (A Sinners Series Book 2) (33 page)

“Trying to keep her from hurting herself,” I say in my best “you’re-not the-boss-of-me” voice.

Cole’s pissed. But instead of arguing, he comes to my side and holds her legs.

After what feels like hours, Amber’s screaming becomes soft cries; her voice is shot to hell. Her breathing slows down, and then all at once her rigid muscles relax, and she finally goes limp.

A sigh of relief escapes me, and I look at Cole. He lifts Amber’s slack body, places her gently in her bed, and covers her with the blanket.

I put my hands over my face as my shoulders slump. I feel so defeated.

“Lusty, please go get some sleep. I’ll watch her,” Bill says.

“For once, I agree with Bill,” Cole says. “It’s been over twenty-four hours since you’ve slept. You’re coming back with me.”

I answer without opening my eyes. “All right. Thank you, Bill.”

“Sure thing.”

“Roméo, what happens after the hallucinations?”

“Go rest. You’re going to need it to deal with the next phase.”

I nod my head and take a deep breath. Cole scoops me into his arms, and my head collapses on his shoulder. I’m spent in every possible way.

When I open my eyes, the warmth of Cole’s body surrounds me, enveloping me in safety. A dim light from the hallway shoots a sliver of light into the training room, barely illuminating our area. Around us, everyone sleeps with blankets piled over them. Zeus snores, and his nails tick against the floor as he dreams. Cole’s hand grasps mine for a minute, and I place my hand over his, tracing the veins that spider over his fingers. Spinning my body around, I face him. When his eyes meet mine, they look pained.

“Hey,” he says in a whisper.

“Hey.”

He runs his hand over my face and breathes softly.

“So are you ready?” I ask. His forehead pinches together, causing me to feel dread.
He isn’t ready.

“Ready for what?” he asks.

I sigh.

He knows exactly what I’m talking about, and he’s trying to think of a way to get out of it again.

“I don’t want to talk,” he says. His voice lowers with his eyes. “Right now.”

“You don’t have a choice.”

“Fine … but we should take this elsewhere.” He flips the blanket off us, the chilly air hitting my body with a shock.

“The hallway?”

“Wherever. It doesn’t matter.”

We tiptoe through the room and into the hallway, and he stands with his body barely touching the wall, his hand running over his head, sweat coursing down his face.

“Telling you this is by far the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do,” he says. He slowly turns my way, and his eyes drop to the floor.

“Why?” I ask, my voice starting to rise. I don’t know if I am ready to hear this. “What are you so afraid of?”

“Losing you.”

“Cole, you’re not going to lose me.”

“I’m not so sure about that.”

“How can you say that?” Adrenaline starts to flow, and suddenly my breathing is uneven.

“Because once you know, you’ll never be able to look at me the same.” He takes a shaky breath. “All I’ve ever wanted to do was protect you.”

“Just say it, please.”

“Only … if you promise to stay and discuss this with me when I’m done.” He looks up.

“I will.”

“No. Promise me.”

“All right. I promise.”

A heavy silence weighs on us. We don’t speak for minutes.

“Do you remember when I told you about the guards?” he finally says. “And following orders? If you don’t follow, they’ll kill you.”

“Yeah, I remember,” I whisper.
I don’t want to hear this. I don’t want to hear this.

He takes a minute and stares at the ceiling before he says, “I was young when I joined the guards.”

His expression is pain and anger and fear and desperation. I hate seeing him like this. I place a hand on his arm.

“It’s okay, Cole. Just tell me. Please.” I want to cry. I now know that what Cole has been keeping from me is so bad, he is about to collapse from the weight of carrying it this long.

He pulls his arm from me.

“My first assignment was to arrest a man the Commander wanted in custody. When I found him, he didn’t fight me, and actually, he didn’t say a word. He turned around, and I handcuffed him. I remember looking at him with amazement. His expression was blank; he showed no fear, no anger, nothing. I tried to imagine what this man could’ve done, what the Commander could want him for, what sin he could possibly have committed. It was something bigger.” He covers his face with his hands for a second then leans against the wall. “When we arrived at the Commander’s headquarters, the Commander stood at the door waiting for us.”

“Asshole,” I say.

“Please, Lexi, if you interrupt me, I won’t be able to finish.”

“Sorry. But he is.”

“I know that,” he says. “We took him straight to the interrogation room where I handcuffed him to the metal bar on top of the table. The room was dark except for one light above the table, giving me just enough light to see him and the Commander, who sat across from him, laughing. The interrogation went on for hours.

“Finally, the man said, ‘Are you done?’ His voice wasn’t angry, but calm and direct, something I didn’t expect.

“The Commander leaned forward and said, ‘Yes, in fact, I am … but I’d like to know what drove you, what motivated your mission. Did you honestly think it would work? That you, one man, could somehow influence the people of our society, and change the way our system works?’”

Cole stops, and I raise my eyebrows, urging him to go on. So far, nothing he’s said seems horrible enough for him to be afraid to tell me. I start to relax a little, relieved.

“The man took a deep breath, folded his arms across his chest, stared right into the Commander’s eyes, and said, ‘Like I’ve always said: You can overcome anything, short of death.’”

I gasp. It feels like someone punched me in the stomach and then drop-kicked me in the head.

Did I really just hear that?
I shake my head as tears sting my eyes like needles.

“No!” I cry out, slamming back into the wall.

“Lexi, I’m so sorry.” Cole’s voice cracks.

I don’t want to believe it’s true, but my ears ring with my father’s words.

“You? It was you who … arrested … my father?” I spit out.

“Yes.”

“Why? He did nothing wrong!” I say through gritted teeth, tasting the salt from my tears.

“I didn’t have a choice. You know that.”

“Did you torture him?”

“Lexi, please … ”

“Answer me!”

“No … please, you don’t want to hear this.”

“Oh my God, you did! I want to know every single detail, even if it kills you to say it.”

“The Commander.” Cole takes a step toward me. “That bastard ordered me to follow through with the interrogation. And Lexi, you know I didn’t want to. It was a requirement of training, and I never had a choice.”

A blood-curdling scream bounces off the bare halls. My scream.

“What exactly did you do? What did you do to my father? And don’t lie to me, Cole! This is my
father
we’re talking about! I need to know everything.” Spit flies from my mouth, and my ears ring.

“Lexi, trust me, you don’t want the nightmares, the visuals, the sounds. They will haunt you as they do me.”

But I stand my ground, and by the look on his face, he’s well aware I’m not letting this go. “Cole, the truth. Now.”

“The Commander needed to know what your father knew, what his plans were, and he was willing to do whatever it took to get the answers.” He pauses. “One by one, the Commander forced me to extract his fingernails. Your father grit his teeth, and even though I knew it was agonizing for him, he said nothing.” Sweat pours down Cole’s face, the vein pulsing in his forehead. “When that didn’t work, I punched him in the face multiple times until there was blood gushing from his nose and he was practically gagging on his own blood. His teeth hit the floor, and his eyes were swollen shut.” Cole takes a deep breath and clenches his fists.

“‘Keep going,’ the Commander ordered. So we waterboarded him several times, and I felt sick, sick to my stomach as he almost drowned every time. I remember trying to breathe for him as he was gasping for air. He was limp in my arms when I dragged him back to the chair under the lights.

“‘Sir,’ I said to the Commander. ‘I think he’s had enough.’ But he said, ‘You’re only done when I say you’re done, now continue, soldier.’ He questioned your dad. ‘Tell me who you’re working with,’ he commanded. But your dad didn’t break. The Commander screamed at him, ‘I know your family, I know your sexy, beautiful wife. I could take her for my own when you’re dead.’ Your father didn’t flinch as the Commander went on describing your family in detail. ‘Your oldest son, Keegan …’ Your father grimaced at the mention of his name. ‘It’d be so easy to have him accused. I could even tell him you’re the one who did it. And Lexi, sweet, pretty, young Lexi, with her turquoise eyes and her curly hair … she’d make a great whore in the Hole.’ That’s when your dad finally started crying.

“But he still didn’t slip, not once. Not even when the Commander tore off his shirt and made me handcuff him to the table. Your father kept his head down, and I remember hearing him pray. My hand shook as I held the leather handle of the whip. My palms were sweaty, making it harder to grip … and there was a lump in my throat that I couldn’t swallow. The Commander removed his chair, and then your father leaned onto the table for support, his hands still cuffed to the bar. I stood still, like stone. Looking at his scar-less back, knowing I was about to tear it to shreds.

“‘Hamilton, are you ready to talk?’ the Commander asked him.

“‘I have nothing to say,’ your dad replied in a calm tone.

“‘You know I have the power to take everything away from you,’ the Commander screamed in frustration. I could see the red flush crawling up his neck as his eyes bulged in that terrible way we both know so well.

“With blood spurting from his mouth, your dad said, ‘Even if you kill me, my family will become stronger, more powerful than you can dream. So get on with it.’

“‘Suit yourself.’ The Commander smiled and searched for my eyes. ‘Begin. And don’t stop till you’re told.’

“Instantly, my body froze. I don’t know what came over me, but I turned to the Commander and said, ‘I’m done, sir. He’s made it quite clear he’s not going to say anything.’ He wasn’t going to suffer by my hands any longer. All I knew was this was wrong. And I was done following through with this torture. The Commander said, ‘Soldier, you’re dismissed. I’ll deal with you later.’

“I was taken back to my barracks and waited for my own punishment, but before I left, your father caught my gaze. His eyes, like yours, pierced my soul. He nodded at me, and even in his pain, he thanked me.” Tears stream down Cole’s face, and he crumples to his knees.

“He said to me, ‘There’s still hope for you yet.’ After I closed the door, I heard his screams echoing down the hallway.” Cole completely breaks down, his hands covering his face as he gasps for air, sobs wracking his shoulders. “I can’t take it back, and I want so bad to erase the memory, to erase what your father had to endure. But, Lexi, I can’t, and it’s killing me.” He looks up at me with bloodshot eyes and tries to grab my hand.

I hold up my hand to stop him. “Don’t touch me. Don’t come near me.”

“I’m so sorry.” He chokes on his words. “I would do anything to go back and change what happened. I don’t want … your father’s blood on my hands.”

My cheeks are wet with tears, and I have to hold my fists at my sides to keep from attacking him. “How … Why didn’t you tell me before? Didn’t you think I had a right to know that you knew my father? That you
tortured
him? And to think, all the times I said to you that I wished you could’ve met him. And you already had. And yet, you still said nothing.”

He lips part as he tries to catch his breath, and he closes his eyes. “I was trying to protect you.”

“By lying to me?”

“By avoiding causing you pain.”

“What the hell do you think you just did!”

“Lexi … ”

“You took my father away from us—from me.”

“And if it wasn’t me, it would’ve been someone else. Either way, it was going to happen. Your father knew it. That’s why he didn’t fight me.”

“How dare you! If he had any idea he was going to be arrested, he would’ve taken us and ran. He would have protected us. Protected
me
.”

“No, he wouldn’t have run.”

“Oh. And you knew him better than me, huh? You think a couple of hours torturing an innocent man means you know it all.”

“Your father was a smart man. He was well aware that if he didn’t come willingly, we would’ve been ordered to kill his family. He was protecting you.”

Of course he was. My father always put his family first; I know that. But that doesn’t ease the burning anger building in my chest.

“I trusted you,” I say, as I step away from Cole.

“I warned you I wasn’t worthy of that honor,” he says. He slumps against the wall, looking small and weak and broken.

“I can’t believe I allowed myself to be so duped into thinking you were better than any other guard. You’re no different than Wilson!”