Hungry (42 page)

“You know what your problem is?” I jab my finger in his chest. “You latch on to people and blindly follow them when you think they have the answers. First Ana and now Gaia. Even if what they’re saying is crazy. You can’t just question authority when it’s convenient. You need to question it all the time.”

“Like you did when you were driving around in your Smaurto, yapping on your Gizmo for the past seventeen years?” he says. “You only became a rebel a week ago when you met me and now you act like you have all the answers.”

His words sting but I don’t stop. “Fine, I get it. I was a privy. I was a part of the problem. But you changed that for me. You opened my eyes and showed me how screwed up the Loops are. Now it’s my turn to do the same for you. You need to question what’s going on around here.”

“I know exactly what’s going on around here,” he says with an arrogance that I find laughable.

“Enlighten me, then. Because I can’t seem to figure out what stealing land and cutting kudzu and injecting girls and worshipping Mother Nature has to do with it.”

“We’re preparing for the revolution, Apple,” he says, leaning close to my face. “Ana was too soft. She tried to make change from the inside, and look what it got her. She’s dead, just like my brother! But Gaia is prepared. She’s already built something that’s better than the alternative. Something that’s worth fighting for. And when the revolution comes, we’ll be ready.”

“The revolution’s not coming here, Basil. No one outside of this farm knows who Gaia is or cares. The real revolution is happening without us. Back in the Loops. And I intend to get back there with or without you.”

He stands. “Don’t say that unless you mean it.”

I look up at him with my heart breaking. “I mean it, Basil. I really truly mean it. And I hope that you’ll come with me because I’m leaving as soon as I can.”

Basil won’t listen to me for another moment. He turns and runs.

I walk slowly from Basil’s bunkhouse to mine with tears running hot down my cheeks, wondering how there could be such a divide between us? It’s as if Gaia has figured out exactly what to say to a person like Basil so the Farm seems perfect and enchanting. If I could get him out from under that cloak of lies she’s woven, I’m certain he could see reason again. I just have to find a way to wake him from this stupor. But I know that’s not going to happen tonight. He’s too angry with me to listen. The only thing I can do now is go to bed and hope I can bring Basil to his senses by the time I convince the doctor to get me out of here.

*   *   *

I am on a kudzu leaf floating in a shallow pool. Concentric circles of water radiate out from me. Bobbing on each ripple of water are the people in my life who care about me the most. I see my mom, my dad, Grandma Apple and Papa Peter, Grandma Grace, Yaz, Fiyo, and AnonyGal whose face is obscured by shadow. I paddle in a circle, searching for Basil, certain that he has to be somewhere in this water, but I can’t find him. Then my leaf starts to rock. The water grows choppy. I brace myself and understand that I’m dreaming, but fearing I’m in another flood, I sit up grabbing for something solid.

“Shhh,” someone says. Hands grab my shoulders and push me back.

“What the hell!” I say.

A face gets close to mine. “You have to get out of here,” a girl whispers.

My eyes adjust to the dark. “Ella?” I say. “What’s going on? What are you doing?”

“They’re coming for you. Gaia’s on a war path. Your whole squad went to her, saying you’re dangerous and you’re trying to sabotage the harvest.”

“What a bunch of idiots,” I say and lie back down. “They’re full of crap and we both know it.”

“You don’t have much time,” Ella says, yanking me up. “There’s no telling what Gaia will do when she’s like this. I’ve seen her lock people up for days or worse.” The fear in her eyes chills me and I sit up. She sweeps her hands around my floor and finds my sandals for me.

“But where am I going to go?”

“Go to Mr. Clemens. Sleep there tonight. I’ll bring you some food soon and let you know when it’s safe to come back.”

“Won’t they come looking for me?” I ask, panicked now.

“Not tonight. It’s too dark, and tomorrow the harvest will distract everybody. Then Gaia will forget about it in a few days, so your squad will have to let it go.”

We both stand up. I look at her and ask, “Why are you doing this for me?”

She leans in close. “I know who you are, Thalia Apple. I know what you started in the Loops.”

“How?”

We hear voices in the clearing and my whole body begins to shake.

“Take this,” she says and shoves something into my hands.

I hold it up and see a sheathed kudzu-cutting knife. “What the…?”

“You might need it. Now, go,” she hisses.

I put the knife in my pocket and run.

*   *   *

If Mr. Clemens is surprised when he finds me banging on his door, he doesn’t show it. He gives me a funny half smile and says, “Ah, Thalia Apple. Nice of you to visit again. Little late ain’t it?”

“Sorry,” I pant and try to catch my breath from running through the woods. “I had some trouble at the Farm, and Ella told me to come here.”

“Smart cookie, my Ella,” he says with pride as he ushers me in. He lowers himself into a creaky rocking chair, where he takes the pouch, my pouch, and starts to pack his pipe. Then he motions to a beat-up old chair for me. He strikes a match, lights the pipe, then a thick candle. The whole room glows yellow. I see a small table with a few simple pieces of pottery, a narrow cot with jumbled blankets, and a mantel filled with photos, but it’s too dark to make out the faces in the frames.

“It speaks to your integrity that you caused a ruckus there.” He chuckles. “I’d like to see Gaia’s face when she can’t find you.”

“I wouldn’t,” I admit. “From the way Ella talked, she can be a real tyrant.”

Mr. Clemens takes his pipe out of his mouth and jabs the smoking end at me. “Tyrant is the right word. And liar and fraud. You’re too young to know spit about the past, but history is littered with people like her. Idi Amin. Pol Pot. Jim Jones. Charismatic cult leaders who worm their way into desperate people’s minds with lies disguised as promises. She claims she’s created a self-sufficient settlement where folks are free to live like humans ought, meanwhile she’s slipping Synthamil into the soup.”

“What? Are you serious? Synthamil in the soup?” I ask not sure who’s crazier, him or Gaia.

“Kudzu and corn and the other meager crops she’s been able to eke out of the soil aren’t enough to keep all those people healthy. It’ll be years before that’s possible around here. There would be malnutrition out the wazoo if she wasn’t supplementing everything.”

“But what makes you think it’s Synthamil?”

“’Cause I know where she keeps her stash.” He lets that sink in for a moment while he smokes. “That doctor fella of hers brings it, and they hide it in my old corn silo just north of here.”

“Oh, no,” I moan. “The dear doctor is in on it, too?”

“You bet your britches he is.”

I nearly cry as I see my chances of leaving the Farm dwindle with this revelation.

“I thought about smashing up all those bottles with my four-wheeler once,” Mr. Clemens says. “Then I figured I’d be hurting the little ones the most, so I didn’t do it.” He laughs. “Anyway, how do you think I’m still kicking at ninety-three?”

My mouth falls open. “You take the Synthamil for yourself.”

“Well,” he says with a wink. “I have a little helper.”

“Ella?” I ask.

“She’s a good egg, my Ella.”

“Your Ella?” I try to work this out. “Is she your daughter or your granddaughter?”

He shakes his head. My skin prickles as I picture Ella’s swollen belly. “But, wait, you’re not … she isn’t…?” I can’t even bring myself to say it.

“She came here so young,” he says wistfully. I hold my breath as he explains, bracing for the worst. “That damn-fool doctor hauled her out here after her mother died in one of his loony bins. But she’s whip smart. She saw through this place in no time. Kept trying to run away, but she couldn’t get too far. I found her at least half a dozen times asleep in a little nest she made out in the woods. I knew someone had to watch over her. Wish I could have kept her here with me, but it took a long time for her to trust me, and this house is no place for a child.” He shifts in his seat. I relax and let my breath go because his concern for her seems parental and not at all perverted. “I always intended to take her away from here, but by the time she would’ve said yes, she’d gone and fallen in love and had a baby, and now she’s got another one on the way.” He sighs deeply.

“But wait,” I say, trying to puzzle through everything he’s telling me. “If Gaia’s feeding everybody Synthamil, then how did Ella and all the other girls get pregnant?”

He looks at me like I’m kind of dim. “I’m no scientist, but I seem to remember from wartime that some of those synthetic drinks had hormones so people could have babies, right?”

I gasp and smack myself in the head. “She’s giving us Synthamil with Arousatrol!”

He shrugs. “Don’t know what it’s called, but it must be something like that.”

“Oh god,” I put my fingers in my hair and rub my head, which is beginning to ache.

“Darling,” he says and taps out his pipe, “you don’t even know the half of it yet.”

“I have to tell Basil,” I mutter. “Maybe if he knew, I could convince him to leave.”

“Bring him to me,” Mr. Clemens offers. “I’ll tell him the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. He’ll be ready to run screaming from here in no time!”

“Even if you could convince him, he won’t go back to the Loops with me,” I say sadly.

“The Farm and the Loops ain’t the only two choices, Thalia Apple.”

I look at him. “What then?”

“I already told you.”

“You mean that place up north?”

“Yep.”

“Do you really think people are farming there?”

“Last I heard they were.”

“But One World destroyed the Svalbard seed vault. Or even if they didn’t, they’re not handing out packets to anyone.”

“Heck, girlie, that’s no problem. I have seeds.”

I nearly fall out of my chair. “You do?”

“Course I do,” he says with a chuckle. “Every good farmer keeps some back. Why? You thinking of heading up that way then?”

I snort and shake my head, flummoxed by this new information. “You going with me if I do?”

He laughs. “Girlie, I been packed and ready for years. Got a shed behind here with a wagon full of supplies,” he tells me with a twinkle in his eyes. “You get Ella and her brood to agree, and I’d be out of here lickety split.”

*   *   *

I don’t sleep much that night. I can’t stop thinking about what Mr. Clemens told me about Ella, about the Synthamil, about Canada. I’m certain that if Basil knew all of this, he’d no longer want to stay. He’d see that Gaia is just another corrupt person looking for power at the expense of the masses. Then again, I’m not sure I can abandon the revolution in the Loops. But maybe, if I could get Basil and Mr. Clemens and Ella and her family someplace safe, I could help from afar or make my way back to the Loops then join Basil again later. The one thing I know for sure is first I have to find a way to prove to Basil what Mr. Clemens said. Then we can work on leaving.

*   *   *

By the time the first rays of sun spill through the windows of the cabin, I’ve made my plan. As soon as Mr. Clemens stirs, I ask him how to get to his silo.

“You hungry?” he asks from his cot. “Ella will bring us something in a few hours or you can go out and pick some berries and tender leaves. I’ll show you how to make a nice cup of tea to tide you over.”

“Thanks, but no,” I tell him. “I have to take care of something first.”

He doesn’t ask me any more questions. Just nods as if he understands and points me in the right direction.

The silo isn’t hard to find. It’s the largest structure for miles around, but being covered with kudzu like everything else camouflages it so that if you don’t know what you’re looking for, you would miss it. Inside is exactly what Mr. Clemens claimed. Cases and cases of Synthamil stacked four feet high. I open a box and pull out a bottle. The label reads,
SYNTHAMIL (BASELINE FORMULA) + AROUSATROL.
When I turn the bottle over, I find the warning printed in red:
THIS FORMULA CONTAINS HORMONES THAT PROMOTE REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH.
I tuck the bottle into my pocket, along with the kudzu-cutting knife, hoping this will be enough proof for Basil that things are not what they appear on the Farm and that he’ll come with me when I go. Then I leave the silo and head across the fields toward the machine shop.

Like the first day when I followed Basil’s captors, I stay hidden in the kudzu outside the encampment, watching carefully for people. I wonder if they sent a search party for me again last night, but after several minutes when no one comes or goes, I figure Ella was right—that the harvest has distracted everyone from my disappearance. So I run on tiptoe to the back of the machine shop and climb up on the crates, which are still stacked under the windows, but the place is as quiet and empty as it was last night.

I’m about to sneak off into the kudzu to hide, thinking I’m here before Basil’s shift starts, but then I hear voices booming nearby, and I wonder if the harvest has started already. If so, everyone will be there. Including Basil. I move slowly and carefully through the wooded area in front of the machine shop, keeping my eyes peeled for any stragglers who might spot me, but as far as I can tell, every person who lives on the Farm has gathered around a makeshift stage in the clearing in front of the hospital and harvest house.

I creep around the edge of the crowd, searching for a place to slip in and hoping that for once, this stupid dress will help me look exactly like every other girl here. Luckily, the audience is too engrossed in applauding for Gaia as she climbs onto the stage to notice me. When she opens her arms wide and says, “Good morning to you all, it’s a beautiful morning for a harvest!” everyone claps and hollers, stomps their feet, and whistles.

“Before we get started,” Gaia says once they’ve settled down, “I’d like to take a moment to welcome our newest member.” She turns to the steps and motions. “Come on up, my dear. Don’t be frightened. We are so very, very happy to have you here.”