She and Emma met eyes, and they giggled. They heard Mahlon’s body crash against the door as he attempted to reenter the room. They laughed harder.
“Can you believe he actually fell for that?” Lizzie said.
Emma gave her an exaggerated nod. “Jah, I can. You haven’t been around to keep him on his toes. He’s gotten lazy.”
As expected, they heard the front door open, and Mahlon’s quick footsteps echoed across the living room floor. He entered the kitchen with the half-eaten apple in his fist.
“I see you were able to rescue your apple,” Lizzie said.
Mahlon held it up so Lizzie and Emma could see the dirt and leaves and bugs embedded in the apple’s flesh. “You wasted a perfectly good piece of fruit,” he said.
Lizzie took it from him and rinsed it off in the sink. The lines of Mahlon’s face might have softened when she carefully dried off the apple with her apron and kissed it. He cocked an eyebrow.
“There,” Lizzie said. “All better.”
“All better?” he complained as she handed it to him. He shook his head and ambled to the back door. He slid the latch and walked out for the second time. “I’m going to feed this to the horse,” he said. He eyed Emma with compassion. “Unless you need me to stay.”
“I’ll be okay.”
He nodded and hopped off the stoop while mumbling under his breath. “Girls” was all Emma heard.
She shut the door and turned to Lizzie. “Sorry. He’s still learning how to behave himself.”
“He’s always been fiercely loyal to you,” Lizzie said. “It’s his only good quality.”
“I’m glad you think he has at least one good quality.”
Lizzie laughed easily, but the tension hardened like ice as soon as the laughter faded. “So, do you want to help me make a quilt?”
“Why?”
“For the orphanage, like I said.”
“Why do you want my help after months of getting along fine without me?”
Lizzie sighed as if she were exhausted and sat down at the table. “You know why, Emma. Ben asked me to come.”
Emma slumped her shoulders. She wanted a real friend, not one who’d been assigned to her. “He feels sorry for me.”
Lizzie folded her arms and pressed her lips together before speaking. “I don’t know why. Everyone knows you acted as if you never cared about him at all.”
“I didn’t want him to feel any worse than he already did.”
Lizzie rolled her eyes. It wasn’t an attractive look. “Sure you didn’t.”
Emma sat at the table and leaned toward her ex-best friend. “Think about it, Lizzie. Ben would have felt worse knowing how I suffered. I had to pretend so he wouldn’t worry and so my brother wouldn’t take a bus to Florida to throw mud at Ben’s house.”
Lizzie blinked twice before looking away. “He lives in a trailer.”
The tears stung her eyes. She and Lizzie used to hide in the haymow and talk for hours about cute boys at school and pets they wanted and what color dress they would wear if they could wear any color they desired. Emma studied Lizzie’s face. She had missed her so much. And she wanted her back.
She should have made her apology long before now. Taking a deep breath, she said, “I’m sorry that you lost your brother because of me.”
Lizzie bit her bottom lip. “Me too.”
“I’m sorry that I drove him away. I didn’t mean to, but I have too many weaknesses and sins to count. He moved clear across the country to be away from me. I can imagine how he must hate me.”
Lizzie reached over and put her hand on Emma’s arm. “You know how honest I am. Or blunt. Most people say blunt. But I want to get this all out in the open, even if it hurts your feelings.”
“Okay,” Emma said, bracing herself for something terrible.
“I only came because Ben asked me to. He acted like it was a matter of life and death, and he’s been through so much heartache already, I couldn’t say no.”
Emma frowned. She’d spent too much time in Anna’s bathroom. Ben hadn’t been fooled at all.
“I know I need to forgive you,” Lizzie said. “I want to forgive you. But I’m still mad for the way you treated him. I’ve never seen anyone so broken, like he had nothing in the world to live for.” She squeezed Emma’s arm as sorrow flooded her expression. “I thought I knew you better than that. How could you do that to him? You were engaged. You told him yes. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
Emma caught her breath. “It means everything to me.”
“Then why did you do it?”
Feeling as if she were about to explode, Emma grabbed both of Lizzie’s hands and held tight. “You know that Ben broke up with me, right?”
“But . . . I thought . . . No, Emma. You’re the one who called it off.”
“Nae, I’m not.”
Lizzie rocked backward as if she had been shoved. “Emma, that can’t be true. He loves you with his whole soul.”
Goodness gracious. More tears. “He doesn’t. He is so repulsed by me that he had to get far away. Far enough away that he wouldn’t have to see me every day and be reminded of how revolting I am.”
Lizzie’s voice trembled. “Nae, Emma, I don’t believe it.”
Emma stared at her ex–best friend with all the intensity she felt. “Lizzie. Look at me. I love Ben. I’d marry him tomorrow if he asked me, but it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t want to marry me.”
“He loves you. I know he loves you.”
“Nae.”
Lizzie must have seen something in Emma’s eyes that finally convinced her. She stood up so quickly that the chair toppled over behind her. “All this time, he let me believe it was your fault.” She lifted her hand to her eyes and kneaded her brows with her fingers. “I lost your friendship because I believed that Ben would never, ever break up with you. I blamed you, all this time. Why didn’t you say something?”
Emma wiped at the tears traveling down her cheeks. “You told me you’d lost your brother because of me. My faults drove Ben away. Of course you’d be mad about that.”
“That’s not true,” Lizzie said. “You’re perfect. Nothing you did could ever stop Ben from loving you.”
“Even driving his buggy into the ditch?”
Lizzie put her hands on either side of Emma’s face. “Not even that.”
Emma swallowed hard. She refused to tell Lizzie the worst of her sins. “For whatever reason, he doesn’t want to marry me.”
Lizzie pulled a chair right next to her and wrapped an arm around Emma’s shoulders. “To think I’ve wasted all these months because I was too angry to get your side of the story.” She wrapped her other arm around Emma’s neck and pulled her close. “Why did I hold on to my stubborn pride? Can you ever forgive me?”
The feel of Lizzie’s tears on her shoulder reduced Emma to a blubbering mess. She wept and let Lizzie pull her closer. “Of course I forgive you. I was so lonely for a close friend. I didn’t have anybody to talk to except for Mahlon.”
Lizzie giggled, and while she cried, the laughter came out more like a grunt. “Some confidant he’d make. How many times did you have to lock him out of the house?”
They pulled apart and shared a smile. “Truth be told, Mahlon proved a true friend yet. He offered to throw eggs at your house more than once.”
Lizzie smirked. “Yep, I can believe it.”
“Don’t be mad at Mahlon. He’s a little annoyed that his sister got her heart broken.”
“A little annoyed?” Lizzie pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow.
Emma surrendered a grin. “Okay. He’s been madder than a wet cat.”
“He smells like one too.”
Emma took Lizzie’s hand. “Please don’t be mad at Mahlon. He is only watching out for his little sister.”
“Little by five minutes,” Lizzie protested. She shook her head and sighed. “I’m not mad at Mahlon. We used to tease each other all the time. He put spiders in my lunch, and I threw spitballs at him during arithmetic. I’m only mad at myself for being so pigheaded. It’s my fault and only mine.” She twisted her mouth thoughtfully. “And Ben’s. Now that I think about it, this is almost entirely Ben’s fault. I’m going to give him a large piece of my mind, and he’s going to feel pretty foolish.”
“Ben is hurting enough already. Don’t make it worse for him.”
Lizzie propped her elbow on the arm around her waist and drummed her fingers on her cheek. “He
is
hurting. That’s what I can’t understand.”
“He’s sad that he made me feel bad. That’s all.”
Lizzie sprang from her chair and clapped her hands so unexpectedly that Emma nearly jumped out of her skin. “You’ve got to get him back. I don’t know what his problem is, but you’ve got to get him back.”
Emma’s heart and hopes sank to her toes. “Nae. I can’t.”
Lizzie reached out and pulled Emma to her feet. “He loves you, Emma. He’s so unselfish that he probably thought it was wrong to marry you and keep all your loveliness to himself.”
“Ha-ha.”
“It must be true. It’s the only reason I can think of for his leaving you and his family. The only reason. You’ve got to win him back, Emma. I’m his sister. I can help you. What better way to learn where his defenses are the weakest than by having a spy under the same roof?”
Emma managed to keep tears from pooling in her eyes. “Nae, Lizzie. I won’t break my heart all over again.”
Lizzie let go of her hands but didn’t reply.
“I can’t make somebody love me who doesn’t love me.”
“But that’s what I don’t understand. I truly thought he loved you. How could he leave you like that?”
Emma deflated and sat down next to her mangled prayer kapp. “I can think of a thousand reasons. The water accident, the burned auction cookies, the broken buggy axle. And let’s not forget the chicken coop. What kind of girl sets fire to a chicken coop? I mean, how hard is that to do?” She picked up her kapp and pretended to take a stitch. She hadn’t told Lizzie the worst, but since they’d just become friends again, she figured it was too early. Besides, it didn’t really matter. She’d never get Ben back, no matter how hard she contemplated her faults.
“He loved those things about you, Emma. It made him feel protective.”
“Because I’m like a toddler, the way I get myself into one pickle after another.”
Lizzie nudged her playfully. “Because everything you do is for other people. He wanted to be the one to do nice things for you.”
Emma almost burst into tears again. That was exactly what Ben had told her the night he proposed.
“I want to take care of you, Emmy. You watch out for everyone else, and I’ll watch out for you.”
Lizzie nodded encouragingly. “Ben is back. I think we should try to get you two back together.”
“I’m trying to endure being around him again without making a fool of myself.”
Lizzie went to the drawer next to the fridge and pulled out a pencil and a notebook. “Let’s make a plan to lure Ben back to you.” She wrote
Ben and Emma
at the top and drew a line under it. “What shall we do first?”
Emma shook her head. “Nope. I’m not going to do it, Lizzie. Any glimmer of hope would drive me over the edge of a cliff. My heart is too fragile to survive that twice. I’m done, and I won’t put Ben through the ordeal of having to let me down gently again.”
Lizzie bit her bottom lip and thought about it. “I don’t want Ben to be hurt.”
“Then we should leave him alone. Both of us.”
“Okay,” Lizzie said, not looking terribly convinced of her own words. She tore her very short list out of the notebook and crumpled it in her hands. “If that’s what you think is best.”
“I do.”
“But it won’t hurt to get an explanation from Ben. Just to hear his side of the story.”
“Nae, Lizzie,” Emma insisted. “You’ll make him uncomfortable. If he had wanted to explain himself, he would have done so by now.”
“What explanation did he give for calling off the engagement?”
It took all the discipline Emma possessed not to let the memory reduce her to tears. She curled and uncurled her toes inside her shoes as a distraction. “He said he didn’t want to marry me and then raced to his buggy, probably so he didn’t have to watch me bawl like a baby.”
Lizzie put an arm around her. “Or so Mahlon wouldn’t throw rotten pumpkins at him.”
Emma cracked a smile. “That’s probably true.”
“I’m still going to demand an explanation from him.”
“Don’t ask him. He’ll think I put you up to it.” She already knew why her fiancé had left. She’d rather not be reminded of it yet again.
Lizzie didn’t consent to anything. Emma hadn’t expected to gain her cooperation. Lizzie had a mind of her own. She’d do precisely what she wanted to do. Emma just hoped that Ben wouldn’t be hurt and she wouldn’t be further humiliated. Ben already pitied her enough.
Lizzie shrugged and grabbed both of Emma’s hands. “So, can you forgive me? Are we friends again, no matter what an idiot Ben has been?”
Emma gave Lizzie a warm hug and savored the feeling of having a best friend again, in spite of her misgivings. Being friends with Lizzie would put her in Ben’s path more often than ever, at least while he stayed in Bonduel. She comforted herself with the knowledge that Felty was as spry as any seventy-year-old. He’d recover quickly from surgery. Ben could be gone by the end of May. Maybe sooner. She and Lizzie could go on like before, as if Ben had never come into her life. She could be almost happy again. Tonight she would pray for Felty’s speedy recovery. Then her heart could begin to heal.
Her new best friend pointed to the bag on the table. “So, do you want to help with a quilt?”
“Of course, if you don’t mind that the corners don’t match up.”
“That’s part of the charm.”
Mahlon opened the back door and scowled when he saw who still lurked in his kitchen. “You haven’t left yet?”
Lizzie picked up her bag. “Emma and I are friends again, and I admit I was in the wrong. Does that make you feel better?”
Mahlon’s scowl relaxed, although it didn’t disappear, and he folded his arms across his chest. “A little, but it still doesn’t make up for all those nights Emma cried herself to sleep.”