Howl (Howl #1) (7 page)

“Josh, hi!” Samara said.
“I haven’t seen you in awhile.”

“Hi, Sam,” Josh replied, looking up at her. She noticed that his eyes were bloodshot,
as though he had been crying.

“Is everything okay?” Samara asked. She felt tempted to ask him about Lilly, but it seemed like a really bad idea. Samara and Josh
had known each other for a long time and she knew a lot about him, but they
weren’t that close
lately
. She wasn’t even sure if she could conside
r him an acquaintance right now.
Samara still hadn’t hung out with Kyle lately, so she hadn’t really had the opportunity to see Josh except fo
r around school and at parties.

Josh shrugged
and looked around nervously
.
Samara immediately understood why. She could feel everyone’s eyes on him, judging him. They were probably whispering about how he was involved with Samara
while his girlfriend was missing
at the moment
.
“I guess . . .
I’m just waiting for a cop to walk through this do
or any moment now and arrest me,
”
Josh replied.

“Why?” Samara gasped
, deciding to pretend that she hadn’t alre
ady heard that it could happen.

“I’m sure that you’ve heard
about
what happened to Lilly,” Josh replied. “Well, not that anyone
really
knows what happ
ened yet . . .
just that she’s gone.”

“Oh, yeah,” Samara replied, a sympathetic tone in her voice.
“
So, you think you’re going to get arrest
ed? Did you do anything?” she
asked
,
trying to
get him to open up about it. Samara
knew that he wasn’t guilty. If he were to break down and admit right now that he was responsib
le for whatever happened, she
would be
really surprised.

Josh lo
oked up at her and glared
. “Of course I didn’t do it. She
was my girlfriend. I love her.
It pisses me off
. . .
it pisses me off that people would even think that I could do something l
ike – like
that to her,” he stuttered
, his voice cracking
.
“I say I
love
her because I know
she’s still alive . . .
somewhere.”

“Well, what happened that night? Did Lilly say anything that might help the police figure out whe
re she could be?” Samara asked.

“No, she didn’t say anything weird. We just spent the night together, and I dropped her off at her house. I waited until she went inside before I pulled out of the driveway. Whatever happened, it must have been later that night,” Josh replied
.

Samara followed him, grabbing a tray for herself. “I wonder what hap
pened.”

“You’re telling me,” Josh muttered, grabbing his tray of food from the lunch lady and
placing it in front of the cashier to pay
. “Thanks for talking to me. Everyone’s been p
ointing fingers at me all day.”

“No problem,” Samara replied,
beaming a smile at him
. “See ya around, Josh.” She turned to the lunch lady who was impatiently waiting for h
er to tell her what she wanted.

“I’ll have French
toast and a side order of bacon. Actually, make that extra bacon,
” Samara said. She realized that she hadn’t even thought about what she was ordering; it had just
come
naturally to her.

As Samara took the tray and paid for her food, she decided that she wasn’t even going to try to pretend that she was a vegetarian anymore. Instead of throwing the bacon away like she normally would have done if it had accidentally ended up on her tray, she resisted the urge to start eating it as she paid. The bacon actually looked good, and Samara was really hungry. In fact, she couldn’t remember a time when she had ever been this hungry.
Just the scent
of the bacon made her mouth water.

As she sat down at one of the cafeteria tables, Samara spotted Emma’s blonde h
air as she walked towards her.

“Sam!” Emma sat down at the table. Immediately, she wrinkled her
freckled
nose. “Why
are you eating cafeteria food?”

“I was hung
ry,” Samara replied, shrugging.

“Then why didn’t you just get a bagel?” Emma asked.
“Bacon
? Since when do you eat bacon?”

Samara sh
rugged. “I don’t know, I need a change,
” she replied
, crunching on a piece of bacon. After tasting this bacon, Samara wasn’t sure how she had ever been satisfied eating vegetarian bacon all of these years. It didn’t have the same delicious meaty texture or the same bacony flavor that
she was devouring right now. Vegetarian bacon taste
d like carrots, but real bacon . . .
r
eal bacon tasted delicious
. The old Samara might have hated i
t, but the new Samara loved it.

“Samara, are you
listening to me?” Emma snapped.

“What?” Samara realized that she had been so hypnotized by the bacon that she had stopped paying attention to
what Emma was saying.

“What’s with you today?” Emma asked. “I wanted to know if you’re planning to come over to my house on
Saturday
night. My parents are going out of town, so I figured we
would invite some people over.”

Samara nodded. “
I’ll come.” After she said it, she wondered why she had. Was she really in the mood to be around
Emma? It didn’t really matter now that she had already said yes, though. Emma would never
let her go back on her answer.

“Luke’s coming to the party, by the way,” Emma said. “Just
no making out in my bed, okay?
I think it’s really creepy when everyone does that, so
I always keep my door locked during parties, but you know where the key is.”

Samara scoffed. “You don’t have to worry about that happening. I have a feeling it’s going to be really awkward fo
r me and Luke to be in the same room with each other,
let alone making out anywhere.”

“Why would it be awkward?
” Emma asked confusedly. “
I thought your date went good.”

“Yeah, well, I thought so,
too. He told me yesterday that he doesn’t want to go out with me again, though. I guess
he must not like me anymore.”

“Well, that’s weird, considering he’s staring at you right now,” Emma said, pointing her chin in the
direction Luke was sitting in.

Samara looked over her shoulder just in time to see Luke’s green eyes dart away from her and to the floor. She turned back to Emma. “He’s probably just staring because he feels weird
being in the same room as me.”

“I don’t know, Sam. He was looking at you kind of like he wants to jump your bones. I think he still h
as feelings for you,” Emma said. Samara thought she picked up on a note of disappointment in her voice, but she wasn’t certain. The first bell rang, and Samara stood up to empty her tray and glanced over at Luke.

He was staring at her again, and this time Samara knew that Emma was right. Luke was staring at her longingly, like he wa
nted to be next to her at that moment
.
It
made Samara wonder what was holding him back.
 

*

On Saturday evening, Samara went into the bathroom at Emma’s house and glanced at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a white t-shirt and a pair of low-rise dark wash boot cut jeans. Samara felt pleased by the outfit that she had chosen
to wear tonight, but she thought that her f
ace looked slightly washed out.

Luke and his friend Colby were on their way over right now. Samara hadn’t talked to him at all since he had abruptly told her that he didn’t want to go on another date. They had passed each other in the hallway at school several times since then and
,
although neither of them had said a word
to each other
, Samara kept getting the nagging feeling that Emma was right. Luke still had
feelings for her.

She had decided before she had arrived at Emma’s house that she was going to confront him about it. Samara knew that asking him would
make her seem a little more
confrontational
than she really was
, but she h
ad to know what was going on.

Just as she washed her hands and wiped them against her pants, the doorbell rang. Holding her breath, Samara walked
into the living ro
om to greet their guests.

Emma had already flung open the door and was saying, “Hi, guys! Come in! Take your shoes off. I don’t want the fl
oor to get wet from the rain.”

Samara glanced at the guys as
they took their coats and shoes
off. It wasn’t Luke and Colby.
She noticed Jason first, as he walked into the living room, looking around as though he were better than everyone else. Josh followed close behind, seeming to tag along after his twin, but with a
less h
ardened expression on his face.

The short auburn hair and letterman’s jacket that she spotted next belonged to her cousin
,
Kyle.
He was shorter than the Masterson twins, and his red complexion was a huge contrast to their tanner skin tones.
Kyle
noticed her imme
diately and strode over to her.

“Hey, Sam!” her cousin said, smiling. He playfully elbowed her i
n the rib. “How have you been?”

“Good,” Samara answered, trying not to stare too much at Josh. He was looking down at the floor, with his head hung over. She couldn’t help but think that he looked really depressed. Even though Samara knew why, she wasn’t sure what she should say to him. Did everyone else in the room know that he was probably going to get arrested for Lilly’s death, even though a
body still hadn’t been found? Jason obviously knew, but did Emma know or was she oblivious to
it, just like everything else?

“I heard your brother ra
n away again,” Kyle said to her, shaking his head.
“He really needs to grow up. I’m getting kind of sick of your mom constantly calling my house to see if he’s there.
It makes me feel really bad for her.
”

“Oh, umm, yeah
.”
Samara glanced over at Emma, whose eyebrows were raised in question. Feeling a twinge of guilt, Samara looked away. She told
Emma
almost everything
because they were supposed to be best friends
, but there were things
about
her
that Emma
didn’t know. Samara didn’t feel comfortable telling Emma about Seth’s recent outbursts, mostly because she wanted to hide how dysfunctional her family had been lately and partly because she wished that the problems would go away so she wouldn’t have to worry about them anymore. Maybe if she didn’t talk about
them, they would stop existing.

Jason went into the kitchen and began fil
ling up the plastic red cups with
one of the bottles of vodka that Emma had left out on the counter. Everyone in school thought that Emma’s house was one of the coolest places to have a party. Her mom and step-dad had so many of their own
“
adult
”
parties that they didn’t even notice when the bottles all went m
issing from the liquor cabinet.

“Who wants to get wasted?” Jason slurred from the kitchen. Samara rolled her eyes.
She thought it was so trashy to show up at a party when you were already drunk.

“I do!” Emma squealed.

As Jason slinked back into the living room near where they were standing, Samara found herself instantly inching away from him.
As much as she tried to like him, something about Jason still freaked
her
out
. He was constantly staring at her, and not in the way a girl would want to be stared at by one of the most popular boys in school. The way he looked at Samara with his nearly-black eyes put her at unease.
She just thought there was something really off about him and she decided that she didn’t ever want to be
left alone in a room with him.

Samara heard a car pull into the driveway. When she glanced out the window, she saw that it was a Honda Civic. Her heart
skipped a beat. It was Luke.