Howl (Howl #1) (23 page)

“No, Jason said that’s not possible. It was one of the first things I asked him
. I didn’t exactly take the news well at first either, but I eventually began to accept it
,” Seth admitted. “
Lilly doesn’t want to be a part of any pack. But she’s stuck as a Vyka, whether she likes it or not
.”

“Well, unless she switches packs,” Samara said. “Maybe that will ma
ke her feel better about it.”

Seth shook his head. “No, she can’t switch packs. You’re only allowed to switch packs if your Alpha gives you permission to. Jason said there’s no way
he will allow her to switch.”

“Why, though?
What’s special about Lilly?”

“I’m not really sure,” Seth shrugged. “I think it just has to do
with him being in control of the pack. He wants to be powerful, so he uses his authority to his advantage. He doesn’t want Lilly
to switch packs,
so she won’t. End of story.”

Samara made a mental note of that. If she didn’t want to stay a
Vyka after she joined, Jason wasn’t going to
let her change her mind
.
In fact, he’d probably be even less likely
to
let Samara
switch packs than Lilly because he wanted her power for the Vyka.

Would Colby let her leave if she decided she didn’t want to be an Ima after she went through initiation, though? Samara wasn’t sure
because it was obvious that he needed her to help the Ima
, but she guessed that there would be a better chance of convincing Col
by to let her leave than Jason if it was what she really wanted.

“All I know is that I have lots of decisions to make over the next
four days
. I have no idea what I’ll decide, but I do know that I am going to need to get a good night’s sleep for tomorrow so I’m not a zombie instead of a werewolf,” Samara said, laughing at her own attempt at a
lame
joke. “Goodnight, Seth.”

Seth looked like he wanted to say something else, but he walked towards her bedroom do
or instead. “Goodnight, Sam.”

After her brother had left the room, Samara laid back down. Almost as soon as her head hit the pillow, she heard,
Sam?

She realized that there was going to be a problem with having two mates at the moment because both Declan
and Luke had fairly deep voices, and
they both called her Sam. Samara was going to have a difficult time
being able to tell
them
apart. She hoped that she wouldn’t turn into one of those people who accidentally called their boyfriends by the wrong names.
It was annoying because if it were up to her, she wouldn’t be involved with two guys at all.

Yes?
she asked back.

Look, I’m sorry I acted weird tonight,
Declan said.
This is all just so new and crazy to me. I mean, of all the people who could have been
my mate, it’s my best friend.

Is that really such a bad thing?
Samara asked. She didn’t know that much about soul mates and, to be honest, she didn’t even know that much about relationships. If she had to choose someone to spend the rest of her life with, it didn’t seem like it would be that awful for it to be someone who she had been best friends with for many years
, though
. At least she knew she coul
d trust him, if nothing else.

After a moment’s hesitation, Declan answered her.
It’s not that it’s a
bad thing. It’s just that
. . .
this
isn’t the first time I’ve felt attracted to you. And I feel really
attracted to you right now.

I didn’t know you ha
d feelings
. . .
or an attraction
. . .
for
me in the past
, Samara responded.
She wiggled her toes. Samara wasn’t sure if she actually had feelings for Declan or if she just liked his attention right now, but either w
ay it made her happy.

Oh, yeah. I did. I had the hugest crush on you, but I was afraid that it would ruin our friendship if I told you. I knew you weren’t interested in me at the time because I’m just the goofy
big
brother type to you. But to me, you’ve always
been someone really special.

Samara smiled. She wasn’t sure if she would have been happy to hear this about a week ago, but it made her pretty excited now that she knew that he was her mate. Well, one of her
potential
mates
. There was still a chance that she could end up with Luke if she decided that she wanted to be an Ima.
I always thought you would have been interested in Emma, if anything,
she said.

Emma? God, no. Emma is a selfish, materialistic bitch. Forgive my language, but she is. You’re one of the most down to earth people I know. I feel like I connect with you, more than I have with anyone else really. I guess in a way, I’m not even surprised that you might be
my mate,
Declan admitted.

It’s weird that I didn’t know before I heard you say something to me in my head
, Samara admitted.
If that didn’t happen . . .
I’m not sure if I would feel any different right now, but
somehow it changes everything.

Did anyone explain to you how different it is to have two potential mates than one chosen mate?
Decl
an asked her hesitantly.

No, no one has explained
much of anything to me lately.

The
way you feel about me right now . . .
and the way that you feel about your other mate right now,
Declan began, and Samara immediately sensed the jealousy in his voice,
it’s not the way a werewolf n
ormally feels about their mate.

What do you mean?

When a werewolf has a mate, they normally feel this really strong powerful bond with each other. It’s physical and emotional. At least, that’s what I’m told,
Declan said.
When you have two potential mates, it changes everything, though. The bond is basically cut in half. When you decide which pack you belon
g on and you have your chosen ma
t
e
, the connection that you’ll feel for
him will be much more powerful.

Samara thought about what Declan had just told her and asked carefully,
So, basically, what you’re telling me is that I don’t feel as strongly for either of you as I will
when one of you is my mate?

Yes, pretty much.

That helped Samara understand things a little more. Samara knew that she felt some sort of connection with both of her potential mates since she had found out that they may end up spending the rest of their lives together, but what she didn’t understand was why the connections weren’t stronger. She had attributed it to the fact that she had just met Luke and that Declan had always been a friend, so it was going to be hard to see him as a mate. Now, things made more sense. What she still couldn’t understand was why Declan had kept his life as a werewolf a secret from her.
Why didn’t you tell me you were a were
wolf when I asked you about
t
hem
?

Declan sighed in his head.
It was a difficult thing for me to keep from you. I wasn’t sure if you started going through the change yet or not. Jason told me afterwards that Colby bit you.
Remember when I told you that my dad saw a werewolf when he was out hunting? Well, that story was true, sort of. He met her human form while he was out hunting, and he fell in love with her. Then they had me, and she told him she was a werewolf. I’ve always told you that my mom left us when I was born, but that wasn’t true. My mom was killed by a Seku.

A Seku?
Samara asked.

A Seku is another
one of the
werewolf pack
s
in
the Pocono Mountains
. They used to be really powerful during my mom’s generation, but their youth pack isn’t as strong as the Vyka or the Ima. I’ve heard that they’re trying to build up their pack so that they can outnumber us. I have
n’t seen it happe
n yet, though, so I have my doub
ts that it will.

How many werewo
lf packs are in the area total?
Samara questioned. Even though she knew that other packs had been mentioned
to her
, she had assumed that the
re were none that close – she’d figured that the packs in the Catskills were the closest ones.
It was crazy to think that there were other packs in the Poconos, especially because she had only ever come across pac
ks from the Ima and Vyka packs.

Five. There’s the Vyka, the Ima, the Seku, the Zuri, and the Shomecossee
.

Do any of them get along?

Declan chuckled inside his head.
No. None of us get along. Befriending someone from another pack is considered
completely
unacceptable and
it’s also a common reason
to be
exil
ed from your pack.

Samara thought about how Kyle and Josh were still friends, even though they were on opposing packs. She wondered if either of their Alphas knew that they had been best friends for years. It would be really sad if they had to end their friendship just because they were destined to be on different packs. In a way
, it almost didn’t seem fair.

I don’t thin
k either of the Alphas do know,
Declan cut in, interrupting her thoughts.
Sorry, I heard what you were thinking. I didn’t mean to intrude. I just wanted to let you know because it would be best if you didn’t say anything. Kyle and Josh are carrying on their friendship in secret, as far as I know. I’ve seen them sneaking around to talk to each other, but they’re avoiding ea
ch other the rest of the time and especially when they’re around Colby and Jason.

I won’t say anything. And i
t’s okay. About y
ou reading my thoughts, I mean,
Samara said.
I’m beginning to get used to it…with my other possible mate. Anyway, I think I’m going to get going to bed. I’m really tired
an
d I need to get up soon.

Okay,
Declan replied.
Goodnight.

Goodnight.
Samara rolled over to her side and tried to get comfortable on her pillow, but it seemed unusually firm and d
ifficult to sleep on tonight.

Samara?
Luke’s voice asked.

Samara groaned.
What? Between you and my brother, I’m not goin
g to get any sleep tonight.

And your other mate,
Luke replied. Samara sensed the jealousy in his voice.
I’m sorry, but I heard your conversation with him. I’m sure he can hear my conversation with you right now
since I just heard his
, but I don’t really care.

Luke, please . . .
I don’t want to argue about this right now. I’m allowed to speak to my other possible mate if I need to,
Samara replied.
Nothing is guaranteed that you and I will be together. If I choos
e the Vyka, I will be with him.

Luke sighed.
I’m sorry
. I just really thought that we . . .
con
nected tonight on our date.

We did,
Samara replied sympathetically.
It’s more confusing than me being more attracted
to one of you
or
more in love
with one of you. He’s
been my best friend for years.
Plus my brother’s a Vyka.

There was a long pause. Samara closed her eyes again and began to count sheep in her head. She used to count bunnies, but there was no way she could imagine those cute little rabbits without being reminded that she had
almost
attacke
d one in the forest that day.

Just as she was
about to fall asleep, she heard Luke’s voice again.
Samara?

Hmm?
she muttered softly.

If he’s your best friend, you should choose him. Choose the Vyka. I don’t want you to lose you
r best friend forever.
 

Chapter 18

When Samara’s alarm clock went off the next morning, she climbed out of bed and walked over to her closet. She pulled on a pair of medium wash boot cut jeans and a navy blue hooded sweatshirt. Samara didn’t care how she looked today; she was probably going to end up falling asleep i
n most of her classes anyway.