How to Win at High School (20 page)

Shit
, Adam thinks.
What am I supposed to do with this?

Janie's grinning at him.

Adam rolls the pill around with his tongue. Thinks about spitting it out.

Then he thinks,
What the hell.

He swallows the pill. Janie grins wider. “Wait till that
kicks in,” she tells him. “You'll be out of your fucking
mind
.”

“Fuck,” Adam says. His mind's already blown. He's barely keeping himself

upright.

But Janie and Leanne are dancing again—

(
dirty
dancing)

—and every guy in the room is staring at Adam like he's a god.

(Even Rob Thigpen's staring.)

Keep it together
, Adam thinks.

Don't pass out.

Don't puke.

Don't fuck this up.

(Don't you dare.)

Adam's pressed up behind Janie. Leanne's pressed up in front of her. They're all dancing.

Janie twists her head back and kisses Adam. “Did you hear about the after-party? Super 8 on Huron Line.”

Adam shrugs.

“We want to go,” Janie says.

Adam looks at Janie. Looks at Leanne. Looks at Rob Thigpen and Paul Nolan and Jessie McGill and Alton Di Sousa and Wayne Tristovsky and Sara
freaking
Bryant, and—

(all he wants is to be home with Victoria)

(
shut up
).

“Cool,” Adam says. “Let's do it.”

Janie kisses Adam again. Reaches into his hair, pulls him closer, bites his earlobe. “You're going to have the best night of your life,” she says.

The limo's waiting outside.

(#rockstars)

Brian and Amanda are sharing a cigarette at the curb. Their eyes go wide when they see Adam come out with Janie and Leanne on his arms.

“After-party,” Adam tells them. “Super 8 on Huron Line. Gonna be legendary.”

Brian and Amanda swap glances. “Not really our scene, man.”

“Cool.” Adam gestures to the limo. “You mind dropping me off?”

The Super 8's on the highway on the outskirts of town. A lonely-trucker motel. Nobody around. Perfect place for a party.

The limo pulls up to the lobby. Leanne climbs out. Janie climbs out. Brian nods at Adam. Gestures to the girls. “You know what you're doing, man?”

Adam grins at him. “Hell no,” he says.

Brian grins back. “Pimp.”

Even Amanda looks impressed. “You're the man, Adam.”

“I'm just trying to stay conscious,” Adam tells them.

There are about fifteen, twenty people crammed into one shitty motel room.

Gods

Goddesses

The cream of the crop

Upper echelon

Elite

Paul Nolan and Jessie McGill. Alton and his date. Sara and—

(yeah, even)

—Wayne Tristovsky.

Bacardi. Smirnoff. Jack Daniels. Budweiser.

Pot

Pills

(
Party.
)

Adam's head is spinning. The pill has kicked in and he loves everybody. This is it. The highlight of his junior year.

(The highlight of his
life.
)

This is what it all comes down to. All the long hours slaving over shitty homework assignments. All the sleepless nights. All the money on booze, on clothes, on shoes, haircuts, cologne. The ID scheme. The booze scheme. The exam fiasco.
Pizza Man
.

(Even losing Victoria.)

It's all led up to tonight.

The formal.

Janie Ng (
goddess
).

Leanne Grayson (
goddess
).

Adam's high. Adam's drunk. Adam's wasted.

Adam's
winning
.

He stands at the doorway a moment. Surveys the motel room. Takes it all in. Then Janie and Leanne take his hands and lead him into the party.

Paul and Jessie are smoking a joint on the bed.
“Adam,”
she says. “You made it!”

Adam looks at her. “Fucking A,” he says. “Can't have a party without the Pizza Man.”

Jessie laughs. Jessie blinks. Then Jessie turns green. “Shit,” she says. “I think I'm going to puke.”

She runs to the bathroom. Paul grins at Adam. “She's wasted,” he says.

“I puked at the formal,” Adam tells him. “I felt better.”

“That's how it works.” Paul motions to where Janie and Leanne are mixing rum and Cokes in red plastic cups. “Looks like you're getting lucky tonight, huh?”

“I hope so,” Adam says. He looks around the motel room. “If I can find a bed.”

“
We
have a bed,” Sara Bryant says from across the room. She's all over Wayne. “We got a private room for the night.”

Adam looks at Wayne. Wayne's still wearing that same dumb
I just won the nerd lottery
look on his face. He grins at Adam.

Sara leers at Adam. “You want to join us, Pizza Man?”

“Hell no,” Adam says. “Nobody needs to see that shit.”

“Whatever,” Sara says. She goes back to making out with Wayne.

Adam feels Paul nudge him. “Hey.” Paul hands Adam a key card. “Got this for me and Jessie tonight, but, you know—”
He gestures toward the bathroom. “I think I might just take her home.”

Adam looks at the key. Looks at Paul. “Seriously?”

Paul grins at him. “Have fun.”

Janie and Leanne stumble over. They have red plastic cups and Leanne's having trouble standing. She smiles at Adam, unfocused. “We brought you a drink.”

Adam looks in the cup. Smells the rum. Wants to puke again, but knows everyone's watching. So he drinks it, as slow as he can. People cheer.

The room turns blurry.

Adam blinks and Steph's standing in front of him.

“Steph,” Adam says. Across the room, he sees Rob Thigpen talking to Alton Di Sousa by the door. “Hey.”

Steph says, “Where's Victoria?”

Adam shrugs. “We broke up.”

“Then why the hell are you here?” She looks at Janie Ng, who has her arm around Adam now. “You brought
Janie Ng
to formal?”

Adam nods. “Uh-huh.”

“And me,” Leanne says.

(Which isn't in any way true, but at this point in the night, who cares?)

Steph's eyes bulge. “You took
two
girls to formal?”

“Math genius,” Adam says. “Nice work.”

Steph opens her mouth. Starts to say something. Stops. Just kinda stands there looking dumb. Then Rob Thigpen shows up with a beer in one hand and a Smirnoff Ice in the other.
“What's up?” he says. “What'd I miss?”

“World War Three, I think,” Paul says.

Everyone laughs. Steph kind of blushes and shuts up, for now. She walks away. Janie sidles closer to Adam. Kisses his neck. Pretty soon they're making out, and Adam's torn between:

wanting the world to see him making out with Janie Ng

                         
and

that little plastic motel key card burning a hole in his pocket.

“Careful, Janie,” Rob says. “Slumming with the help can be fun, but you'd hate to make a habit of it.”

(The
help
?)

(The help.)

Adam stops kissing Janie. Turns to Rob Thigpen. “Call me ‘the help' again,” he says. “I dare you.”

Then Leanne grabs him and sticks her tongue in his mouth, while Janie's kissing his neck again. Adam lets Leanne kiss him.

Adam rolls with it.

Adam
likes
it.

Adam doesn't hear Rob's response. Doesn't care.

Rob turns and walks off. The pill's running through Adam's system and he's on top of the world.

In your fucking face, Thigpen.

Tony Montana.

Janie pulls Adam away from Leanne. Kisses him. “We should go somewhere,” she says.

Adam flashes her Paul Nolan's motel key. “Funny you should say that.”

Janie smiles, wide. Takes Adam's hand and drags him through the room to the door.

Then Janie looks back through the room at Leanne. Leanne's kinda sitting on the bed looking pouty. Looking neglected. Looking lost. Janie calls her name. “You coming?”

Leanne looks at Janie. Looks at Adam. “Hell yes.”

Adam and Janie watch Leanne wade through the crowd. As she gets close to the doorway, Janie squeezes Adam's hand. “Told you I'd blow your mind tonight.”

Leanne smiles at Janie and Adam. Takes Adam's free hand. Adam rolls with it. Lets the girls lead him out of the motel room.

“What's the room number?” Janie asks.

From inside the party, Paul Nolan calls out, “One thirteen.”

Everyone laughs. Everyone cheers. Adam smiles at Janie, a little unsteady. “One thirteen,” he tells her.

“Well come on, Pizza Man,” she says, fixing Adam with the sexiest eyes he's ever seen. “Lead the way.”

Achievement Unlocked: Threesome.

I mean, real talk? It's not exactly porno-grade.

(Adam's a virgin, after all.)

There's a lot of fumbling with condoms. A lot of giggling. A lot of kissing and apologizing and giggling some more.

And it's over all too soon, the first time.

(But the girls are too messed up to care.)

The second time, though, it lasts a little longer. And in between, Adam lies back and watches Janie and Leanne fool around and—

(tries not to think about Victoria)

—thinks about how awesome this is all going to sound when people at Nixon hear about it on Monday morning. How cool it's going to sound on Twitter.

(#PizzaMan)

(#winning)

Thinks,
If I wasn't a god before, I am now.

(And pretty soon he's ready to go again.)

After the second time, the girls pass out. Adam lies there and stares up at the ceiling and thinks:

So that's sex.

(
What the hell's all the fuss about?
)

And thinks:

I just got lucky with two goddesses.

And thinks:

(
There's no way Victoria doesn't hear about this.
)

The day after is deadly.

Adam and Janie and Leanne wake up sweaty and sticky and with
killer
hangovers. They take a shower together and fool around a little, but, you know, it's morning. It's daylight.

The magic's kinda gone.

(Anyway, it's not about the sex, really. It's about the
having
sex. It's about the losing your virginity. It's about everyone in the party seeing you leave with Janie Ng and Leanne Grayson and knowing you're god material. It's about the Facebook updates, the tweets, the pictures on Instagram. It's about every guy in the school wanting to be you and every girl in the school wondering what you have that make Janie Ng
and
Leanne Grayson want to do you. It's about the power. The prestige. It's about the achievement.

      The achievement happened. It's over. Adam Higgs is the Man.)

(Adam Higgs feels fucking empty.)

They get dressed and check out, and Janie and Leanne call a cab. Adam waits with them outside the lobby, the big trucks roaring past on their way to the bridge. “We should do this again sometime,” Janie says.

Leanne laughs. “Seriously.”

“Next time I'll be better,” Adam tells them.

The girls laugh. “We can teach you,” Janie says. “That's what we're here for.”

“Awesome,” Adam says. “Perfect.”

(Except it's not awesome and perfect. It's booze and drugs and two girls Adam hardly even knows. And there's no satisfaction here, just this pathological need to keep going, keep moving, keep pushing the envelope. Keep winning, whatever the hell that means.

      Still, Adam tells the girls he wants to see them again, because:)

(What guy says no to on-demand threesomes?)

The cab comes, and Adam kisses Leanne and Janie both good-bye—

(and enjoys the look of envy on the cab driver's face)

—and then he walks to the bus stop and spends the rest of the day riding public transit in a hungover state, replaying the night's events in his head and wondering why in the hell he doesn't feel happier.

By Monday morning, word's got around.

Adam Higgs is the Man.

Everyone—

(
everyone
)

—
knows about Janie and Leanne.

Adam Higgs is everywhere. Front-page news. The editor of the yearbook comes up to Adam at his locker, tells him he's giving Pizza Man his own page in this year's edition. Guys stop Adam in the hall, shake his hand, slap him five. Girls follow Adam with their eyes as he walks down the hall. Everyone wants to know Adam.

Everyone wants to hear the story.

Everyone's talking.

Of course Victoria's going to hear.

“Heard you got those hot chicks you were after,” she tells Adam. “Two at a time, even.”

Adam just kind of blinks and doesn't say anything. It's midafternoon between periods. He's been numb since lunchtime. “Victoria,” he says finally. “Shit.”

“Good to know I didn't mean that much to you after all,” Victoria says. She can't meet his eyes.

“It's not even like that,” Adam says. “I didn't—”

Victoria pushes past him. “Have fun, Adam,” she says. “Don't get any STDs.”

Then she's gone.

And that's pretty much the end of Adam and Victoria.

Victoria Lemieux's relationship status on Facebook goes from “It's complicated” to “Single.”

Then she unfriends Adam.

Unfollows him on Twitter.

Blocks his texts.

Won't take his calls.