Read How to Win at High School Online
Authors: Owen Matthews
Wayne hems and haws. Wayne isn't so sure about this.
“Twenty pages a week, minimum,” Adam says. “That's a hundred bucks, easy.”
Wayne's still frowning. Wayne's still not convinced.
Then Janie Ng
breezes
up.
“Hey, Adam,” she says.
Adam excuses himself from Wayne. “Hey, Janie,” he says. “What can I do for you?”
Janie tells him she's good. “Still coasting off that history paper last month,” she says. “Just wanted to make sure you knew about the party.”
Adam blinks. Adam doesn't know.
“My parents are going to Vegas in a couple weeks,” Janie says. “I figured we might as well celebrate.”
“Yeah,” Adam says. “Of course we should.”
“So you're coming,” Janie says. “Right?”
Adam feels Wayne's eyes on him. “Yeah,” he says. “Of course I am.”
Janie grins, big. “Awesome. I'll IM you the address.”
Then she thinks of something. “And bring booze, if you can. My parents are being Nazis about their stash. I'm trying to hook up a connection, but we could always use more.”
“Oh, yeah,” Adam tells her. “I'm sure I can find something.”
“Awesome,” Janie says. “Next Friday. Don't bail.”
Wayne's in Adam's grill the moment Janie walks away. “Dude, I am
so
in.”
(
Yeah
, Adam thinks.
I thought so.
)
“It's not as easy as it looks,” Adam says. “You can't just write an essay and hand it in. You're not Paul Nolan. If Paul Nolan hands in a Wayne Tristovsky essay, Paul's screwed. And if Paul's screwed, we're all screwed.”
Wayne's hardly paying attention. Wayne's still watching Janie Ng walk away. “Yeah,” he says, “but
dude
. Janie Ng just invited you to her party. Do you know what goes on at those things?”
“Sounds like people get drunk,” Adam says. “Or maybe they don't. Listen, if you join my team, I can get you in those parties. Who's the hottest junior girl?”
Wayne thinks about it. “Sara Bryant.”
“She's your number-one pick?”
Wayne nods. “She's stacked, dude. Why?”
Adam digs around in his backpack. Comes out with an assignment. “This is Sara Bryant's physics paper. Two pages. Ten bucks. This is your audition.”
Wayne looks at the assignment. “I can do this.”
“Bring it to my locker first thing Monday morning,” Adam tells him. “You do good, you're hired. You're hired, you're
in
. Pretty soon you'll have Sara Bryant calling you by name.”
“Hot damn.” Wayne stuffs the assignment into his backpack. “Thanks, man. I won't let you down.”
“Work hard,” Adam tells him. “Work smart. And keep your fucking mouth shut.”
Wayne Tristovsky busts his ass.
Wayne Tristovsky knocks Sara Bryant's physics assignment out of the park.
Brings it to Adam first thing Monday morning. Adam looks it over. Thinks,
This is pretty good
. Gives it to Sara. A couple days later, Sara comes back, shows Adam the big red 92 on the front of the page.
Adam lets Sara hug him.
Adam goes back to Wayne.
Adam holds out his hand. Tells Wayne:
“You're hired.”
So now Adam has an employee. Wayne's eating it up. Twenty pages a week. Two hundred bucks, easy.
(Plus bonuses.)
Wayne works hard. Wayne keeps his mouth shut.
Wayne looks at Adam like he's a god.
(
Not yet
, Adam thinks.
But soon.
)
Wayne's addicted to the money. To the thrill of rubbing shoulders with Leanne Grayson and Paul Nolan and Jessie McGill.
To the possibility that one day, Sara Bryant will know his name.
Wayne works hard so Adam doesn't have to.
(Adam still works. This homework thing is out of control. New clients every day. Wayne's twenty pages make a nice dent in the workload, but Adam isn't living the life of leisure just yet.)
Adam still works. Adam still gets paid. Adam just has a little more free time to spend with Victoria. And Sam.
And that's a good thing, because:
Janie Ng's throwing that party.
Adam asks Victoria if she's going to the party.
“I might go,” she says, shrugging. “If somebody asks me.”
“
Somebody
, huh?” Adam says.
“The right guy,” Victoria tells him. “I only date nerds.”
Adam pulls her close. Adam kisses her in the hallway. “You're coming with me,” Adam tells her.
Victoria kisses him back. “Of course I am, dummy.”
Adam goes to see Sam. It's been, like, a week or so.
“I'm sorry,” Adam tells him. “You didn't mention they piled on the homework in junior year, too.”
Sam laughs. “I guess I forgot that part,” he says. “I never really focused on homework that much, anyway.”
“Yeah,” Adam says.
“I kind of wish I did, though,” Sam says. “Maybe I wouldn't be working at this goddamn doughnut shop.”
“Yeah,” Adam says. “So, listen, there's this party coming up. Janie Ng. And I'm definitely going.”
Sam doesn't answer for a moment, but then he does. “A party, huh?” he says, smiling. “Big one?”
“Huge,” Adam says. “And I need booze.”
Sam grins wider. “The eternal problem of the underage drinker.”
“Exactly,” Adam says. “How did you score your alcohol?”
“Older people,” Sam says. “Some of my friends had college friends, or sometimes we'd just hang out outside the liquor store and pay a random to buy for us.
“Why?” he asks. “You need me to pick you up a bottle of something?”
Adam thinks about it. Adam hesitates. Adam's not really looking to get Sam involved. Not with what he has in mind.
“It's no sweat,” Sam says. “This is what big brothers are made for.”
“Yeah,” Adam says. “No, it's okay. I think my buddy Brian might have a hookup.”
Sam shrugs. “Suit yourself.”
Here's the thing about the party:
It's not just any party.
It's Adam's
first
party.
And Adam knows he needs to make a good impression. Needs to do something special. Needs to shake that Pizza Man thing once and for all.
“You want, like, a forty or something?” Brian says. “Or I can swipe some of my dad's vodka.”
“Not enough,” Adam says. “I need, like, a carload. This is a party, man. It's huge. I want to show up with
all
the favors.”
Brian studies Adam across the schoolyard. They're shooting hoops. Shooting air balls, more like.
(It's something to do.)
Brian takes a shot. It sails over the backboard. “Fuck basketball,” he says. “When do you need this stuff?”
“Tomorrow night,” Adam tells him. “At the latest.”
“You paying?”
“Top dollar. I just need someone who can pick up what I need.”
Brian jogs over and picks up the ball. Dribbles a few times. “My cousin's legal,” he says. “I'll talk to him. You make him a list, he can pick up the stuff.”
“Nice,” Adam says. “Tell him just pick up some stuff high
school kids like. Beer, vodka, something for the girls. Tell him to be creative.”
Adam shoots. Misses. Brian catches the ball on the rebound. “So who's throwing the party?”
“This girl from school,” Adam tells him. “Her parents are out of town.”
“Big party?” Brian says.
Adam looks at Brian. Brian's watching him. Adam shrugs. “Not really,” he says. “Kind of a get-together, really. You know how it is.”
Brian looks at Adam a moment longer. Then he shrugs and shoots againâ
(airball).
Brian knows how it is.
Tommy.
(Brian's cousin.)
He's a skinny guy with a raggedy beard and a big goose-down parka. He rolls up to Adam's house in Remington Park in a mean old Ford Mustang five-liter. Climbs out and gives Adam a gangster handshake, pops the trunk to the Mustang and it's filled up with booze.
Beer.
Vodka.
Rum.
Tequila.
Jägermeister.
More beer.
Smirnoff Ices.
Palm Bays.
Even more beer.
(Party time.)
Tommy helps Adam lug the booze into his parents' garage. Walks back out to the Mustang, counts Adam's money. “You need anything else?” he asks Adam. “A little dope or anything? Maybe some pills?”
“Nah,” Adam says. “Not this time.”
“Make those girls do anything you want, get a couple pills in them,” Tommy says. “You know what I mean?”
“I'm good,” Adam tells him. “I have a girlfriend, anyway.”
Tommy shrugs. Pockets the money. Climbs into the Mustang and drives away. Adam stands there and watches the Mustang drive off. Hopes his parents don't find the booze before he can get it to Janie's house.
Adam picks Victoria up in a taxi. They ride together to Janie Ng's house. Adam pays the driver, pops the trunk. Victoria's eyes go wide. “Did you rob a liquor store or something?” she says.
“Party favors,” Adam tells her. “Can you give me a hand?”
Victoria gives him a hand. So does Paul Nolan. So does Alton Di Sousa.
Rob Thigpen sits on the couch and watches.
(Asshole.)
Janie Ng hugs Adam, hard. Tries to pay him. Adam shakes his head.
“You're throwing the party,” he tells her. “This is my treat.”
Janie hugs him again, presses her whole body up against him.
Breezes
back to the party to spread the good news. Victoria nudges Adam. “She totally wants you.”
“Nah,” Adam tells her. “She's just grateful.”
He's lying, though. He sees it too.
But it doesn't matter. He has Victoria.
She's more than enough.
The gods are in Janie Ng's living room.
Adam and Victoria wade in. Grab a spot on the couch next to Paul Nolan and Jessie McGill. Across from Alton Di Sousa and Sara Bryant.
Right in the middle of things.
Janie Ng walks in with a couple bottles, Bacardi and Cîroc. “Looks like we're getting drunk tonight, y'all,” she says. “Adam came through with a
ton
of booze.”
Paul Nolan slaps Adam five. “Hell yeah he did.”
Alton Di Sousa gives Adam a nod. “Nice work, bud.”
Jessie McGill flashes that smile.
And Rob Thigpen,
well,
Rob pulls out the Pizza Man card.
“Where'd you get all that booze, Pizza Man?” he says. “
Pizza Hut?”
Everyone laughs. Paul Nolan raises a red cup. “To Pizza Man,” he says.
“To Pizza Man.”
They all drink. Gods and goddesses. They all drink Adam's booze and toast to Pizza Man. Jessie McGill kisses his cheek.
So, why exactly is he fighting it?
“Fuck it,” Adam says, raising his own red cup. “To Pizza Man.”
They drink. Then they dance.
It's
(get this)
the first time Adam has ever danced with a girl. I mean, really danced.
Victoria grinds her hips against Adam's. Wraps her arms around his neck and looks into his eyes. Tilts her head up and parts her lips like she wants him to kiss her. Smiles when he takes the bait.
Adam closes his eyes. Feels Victoria's body melt against his. Thinks,
This is the dream.
A raging house party.
A pretty girl.
This is what
popular
feels like.
It feels a lot like . . . winning.
“Why do they call you Pizza Man?” Victoria asks him.
Adam shrugs. “Who knows?” he says. “It's just a thing.”
“Do you like it?” she teases. “Should
I
start calling you Pizza Man now?”
Adam stops dancing. Catches a glimpse of Rob Thigpen across the room. He keeps looking at Adam. Keeps checking out Victoria.
(Like he can't believe any girl as hot as Victoria would choose Pizza Man over Rob Thigpen.)
(
Something about that guy
, Adam thinks.
Something fucking weird.
)
Adam looks at Victoria again.
“No,” he tells her. “No, you shouldn't.”
“You want another drink?” Adam asks Victoria. He's on his third or fourth beer.
Victoria shakes her head. Keeps nursing her Smirnoff Ice. Keeps grinding her hips against him.
“You sure?” Adam says. “I bought the stuff. Might as well drink it.”
“You just want me to get drunk so you can take advantage of me,” Victoria says.
Adam grins at her. “Maybe. Is that so bad?”
She grins back. “You're drunk, you big nerd.”
“A little tipsy,” Adam says. “Nothing major.”
“Damn.” Victoria pouts. “I was hoping to take advantage of
you
.”
Adam kisses her again. Takes her hand and leads her off the dance floor. “Come on.”
They wind up in a study somewhere. A big wooden desk and a wall of bookcases and a big leather couch.
Victoria flops down on the couch. Pulls Adam down beside her. Adam leans in to kiss her. Victoria kisses him. Then she pulls back.
“Do you do this a lot, you big slut?” she says. “Fool around with strange girls at parties?”
“You're the strangest,” Adam tells her. “By far.”
Victoria hits him.
“Jerk.”
“Seriously? You're the first girl I ever really made out with,” Adam says.
Victoria giggles. “You
are
a nerd,” she says. “I knew it.”