How to Handle a Scandal (13 page)

But he simply turned his head and gave her a level stare, and she knew exactly what he’d been thinking. If she refused to do as he asked, not only would she disappoint Will and Anna, she’d also have a great deal of explaining to do.

She finally understood just how big a mistake she’d made that night at Madame Persaud’s. She’d tangled with a man who’d spent the last six years riding around a land of tigers and scimitars, a man who dispatched pirates and negotiated with princes. The hopes, wishes, and dreams of one English lady were nothing to a swashbuckling brigand used to taking what he wanted, and clearly kidnapping her was all in day’s work.

“Anna was quite insistent about packing a valise for you so you wouldn’t be without something to wear, once I swept you off your feet,” he said. “Apparently, she had some of your old clothes that you’d discarded.”

Eliza nearly groaned at the thought—the only clothes of hers Anna could have had were the things from when she was younger, the garish clothes of her first, disastrous season, which she’d given Anna to share with her maids. She’d had no idea Anna had kept them all this time.

“Tommy,” she said, struggling for an even tone though his domineering manner was making her furious, “I really am sorry about what happened. I wanted you not to be affected.”

“And yet I am affected. You’re carrying my child, the child you schemed to have.”

“I didn’t scheme to use you so I could have a baby,” she insisted, though she knew from the set of his features that she was wasting her breath. He clearly meant never to believe a thing she said. “The two of us marrying is a
terrible
idea. We can barely even say a reasonable sentence to each other.”

“It will hardly matter. We’ll marry, the baby will have the protection of my name, and I’ll return to India. Our lives will in most ways go back to being just as they were.”

What a strange future he was describing. And yet, furious though she was to admit it, when he’d told Will and Anna they were eloping, he’d taken away her choice as surely as she’d taken away his the night she’d fooled him at the brothel. If she refused to marry him, she’d have to explain why to Anna and Will, and after the way she’d laughed at Tommy’s proposal all those years ago, how could they ever understand if it seemed she’d led him on and rejected him again? Never mind how suspicious they’d be when her baby was eventually born.

“Very well,” she said tightly. “We’ll marry.”

He grunted at her acquiescence. “We’ll be continuing on to my new estate in Kent afterward, as I have yet to see the place.” He paused. “I have already let Will and Anna know that we’ll be spending our honeymoon there together.”

Apparently he’d seen to everything. Bitterness settled over her at his high-handed behavior, but what was the point of saying any more about it? “What’s it called, this new place of yours?” she bit off, determined to take back some modicum of direction for her life.

“Hellfire Hall.”

Surely she’d misheard him. “
Hellfire
Hall?”

“It used to be owned by pirates,” he informed her with a nasty smirk.

And wasn’t that just perfect? She was apparently headed for Hellfire Hall, the ideal place for a wicked brigand to take his kidnapped bride. Her stomach, already sloshing unpleasantly, took a deep dip and settled into her shoes.

At the next town, they stopped and found the vicar. Tommy presented him with the special license, and in a matter of minutes they were standing before the altar in the small village church.

As Eliza struggled not to succumb to a daze of numbness, woodenly speaking to the vicar when necessary, Tommy stood stiffly, doubtless looking like a nervous groom instead of a man furious about the way his future had suddenly changed.

Forsaking all others until death do us part
, she repeated after the vicar. The words were timeless, honoring the goodness and love that marriage was meant to bring, but she and Tommy didn’t share love, and the only good thing they had between them was the baby. She vowed to herself in that moment, for the baby’s sake, to do her best to try to be decent toward Tommy.

His mouth seemed to barely open past the teeth she supposed must be clenched as he said his own vows. At the end of the ceremony, he leaned down and pressed his mouth against hers, doubtless so the vicar wouldn’t guess there was anything awry between the bride and groom. His lips were dry and warm, and surely the softest part of this hard man.

Something squeezed in her chest as he stepped back. While his eyes told her that she was nothing to him, he wasn’t nothing to her. Despite everything, she was very attracted to him, but it wasn’t only that. He’d certainly changed over the last six years, but though he’d spared little warmth for her since his return, she knew that, to everyone but her, he was charm personified, an even more appealing version of the smart, witty, good man whose company she’d once so loved.

She couldn’t forget that night they’d shared. Their touching and joining had opened something vulnerable in her that she couldn’t seem to close up again. But their lovemaking had clearly left no impression on Tommy, and she knew that living with him for whatever time they would have together would put her in danger of being hurt by him.

She must simply find a way not to let that happen.

It was early afternoon by the time they took leave of the vicar, and Tommy announced that they would have lunch at the inn before resuming their journey.

The idea of eating anything had only grown less appealing as the day wore on, and Eliza told him she wasn’t hungry. “I’ll wait in the coach while you eat.”

“You will not,” he said, taking hold of her elbow and steering her toward the Grizzled Hare. “You will come inside and eat lunch.”

“Goodness, what a gracious invitation.” She attempted to tug her arm free with no success. “But I’m not hungry just now.”

If she’d forgotten how hard his chiseled jaw could look, she was now reminded. Just the sight of her seemed to make him instantly clench it. “We will not be stopping again until this evening, when we reach an inn where we will pass the night. Therefore, you need to come inside and eat something now.”

Her heart sank at the thought of all those hours in the coach, both because she didn’t want to spend them in his company and because her stomach was churning, but she forced herself to look unaffected. “As I don’t wish to eat anything, I don’t see the point in coming to sit inside at a table so you can glower at me.”

He leaned close and dropped his voice to a low growl. “You need to eat, whether you wish to do so or not. The longer a woman in your condition goes without eating, the more likely she is to cast up her accounts. Poached eggs and dry toast seem to help in such cases.”

Since she hadn’t been able to eat anything that morning, Eliza doubted she had any accounts to cast up, but she didn’t like that he seemed to be knowledgeable on this subject. “And you have a great deal of experience with ‘such cases’?” she said frostily.

His eyes flashed with irritation. “It’s general knowledge.”

To anyone who doesn’t spend all her time on frivolous things
was clearly the part he didn’t say. He thought all she did was go to parties and do charitable works to make herself appear caring, that the changes she’d made since he left years before were all a ruse. He even believed she’d used him like some sort of breeding animal so she could have a baby.

Realizing she was clenching her teeth, she forced herself to relax. In truth, a poached egg and toast sounded a little appealing, though she was annoyed at the idea of consuming them in front of his likely smug face.

“I do believe,” she said, tipping her chin up, “that I shall take a little something after all.”

He let her arm go and they stepped inside the Grizzled Hare.

* * *

Tommy had no trouble avoiding conversation with Eliza during lunch since she clearly didn’t wish to speak to him either.

They sat alone in a private room, the serving girl having left after bringing their food and stirring up the fire against the briskness of the afternoon. Eliza ate her egg and toast in small, slow bites while he worked through a plate of sandwiches, and they both stared at fixed spots on the floor as though they were a long-married couple already bored with each other.

It was a dismal thought, but far better than the others he was having. For instance, how did he know she hadn’t done something like the Victoria-the-prostitute stunt with other men?

God, if he’d ever meant to marry, it would never have been to someone like Eliza. He’d had years of watching marital disasters play out among his friends, of observing how nearly impossible it was for most people to be content with their spouses, whether because of infidelity or other weaknesses. The one thing he’d known for certain was that he’d never marry a woman he didn’t respect and trust—and ideally, not until they’d courted at least a year to ensure they suited.

He thought of Rex, whom Anna had cheerfully agreed to keep while Tommy and Eliza eloped and had their “honeymoon.” It was hardly remarkable that the boy was a trial to be around, considering that his parents’ marriage had been so poor.

Even Tommy’s beloved father had betrayed Tommy’s mother, and while Tommy loved his stepmother, Judith’s arrival had caused years of bitterness in his family. Why would he want to set himself up for the unhappiness marriage always seemed to bring?

But now he’d done exactly that.

He’d always intended that when he did marry, one day years in the future, he and his wife would be faithful to each other—that, like Will and Anna, they would only
want
to be faithful. But what about Eliza? How could he trust her not to flirt—and more—with every man she met?

He didn’t even want to think about what being faithful to Eliza was going to mean in terms of his own needs and desires.

He fixed her with a hard look. A hint of vulnerability at the edges of her pretty pink mouth tugged at his attention, but he just gave her a bitter smile.

“You do understand,” he said, “that we’ll be keeping those vows we took today. There will be no infidelity in our marriage.”

Vivid red swept into her cheeks. “Your suggestion that I have other plans is incredibly insulting.”

“Words are easy. Commitment is hard. You and I are now stuck together, and I don’t plan to be the only one affected by the change,” he said, letting steel into his voice. “I’ll not have my child mothered by a woman who doesn’t know the meaning of restraint.”

She put down her serviette and stood up.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“To the coach. I have nothing further to say to you.”

In a flash he was upright, and he grabbed her arm before she could leave.

“I didn’t hear any assurance from you.”

Her eyes flashed at him, those blue eyes that had haunted dreams he’d never wanted to have and that now belonged to a wife he hadn’t wanted. “If you think this baby means anything less than the world to me, you don’t know me at all.”

“That’s right, I don’t.”

She jerked her hand away and made for the door, and he let her go.

* * *

Eliza managed to climb back into the carriage with her head held high, but she was shaking.

She heard him talking to the coachman and making arrangements for the next leg of their journey, and when they set off again, she was alone in the coach with Traveler while Tommy rode alongside.

The food had helped a little, though she certainly wouldn’t admit that to him, and when Traveler hopped up onto the seat next to her with what looked like compassion in his large brown eyes, she laid a grateful hand on his soft head and slept. When she woke up late in the afternoon, she ran through baby names while petting him.

“What do you think, Trav?” she asked him. “I like Georgiana for a girl, and James for a boy.”

He licked her hand. “Though I wonder if your master and I are going to have terrible arguments about this as well.” She sighed. “Probably,” she said, leaning her cheek against the dog’s head. But she also knew she’d do anything for the tender life growing inside her, and that was obviously going to include matching wits with her baby’s father.

They stopped late at night in the courtyard of an inn. Eliza and Traveler got down from the coach, and Traveler made for the stables while she told Tommy they must have separate rooms. He just looked at her for a long moment, then strode into the inn, where he was greeted with enthusiasm by the innkeeper, who clearly knew a wealthy gentleman when he saw one.

“I’d like two rooms, please, one for my wife and one for myself.” Tommy made a regretful face. “She has a tremendous snoring problem. You may even wish to isolate her from the other guests lest they be unable to sleep through the sound.”

Eliza had to restrain herself from kicking him in the shins.

The innkeeper declared himself terribly sorry, but there was a harvest festival occurring in the town and hardly any rooms were available. Sir Tommy and his wife would be obliged to share a single room, he said, giving Tommy a look of deep sympathy.

The innkeeper promised to have a tray of food sent up and led them to a small room at the end of a narrow passageway. It held a table, a chair by the hearth, and a bed that looked far too small to share. Nearly dropping with fatigue, Eliza managed a weak smile of thanks.

As soon as the door closed behind the innkeeper, she said, “I’m quite exhausted and I should like to retire. You may take the bed—I’ll take the chair by the fire.”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “No, you won’t.”

She forced herself to say in a reasonable tone, “Would you please stop behaving as though I’m twelve? I was merely being polite. Since that bed is too small to share, one of us will have to take the chair, and I’m perfectly happy to do it.”

He lifted a hand to rub his eyes as though he’d had a tremendously trying day, which made her want to yell at him. “Anyone who tried to rest in that chair would be far too uncomfortable to sleep. The bed is small but we’ll manage.”

She was too tired to argue. “Fine,” she said, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling off her shoes.

A knock on the door signaled the arrival of a supper tray. Eliza was far more interested in the bed than the food, but Tommy said, “Eat first, then sleep.” When she didn’t move, he grabbed her arm and tugged her upright.

“I really don’t want anything,” she muttered.

“You need to eat something for the baby.”

She knew he was right, so she forced down some milk and a few bites of a buttered roll.

Afterward, she eyed the bed, ready to crawl into it with her clothes on. But with her stomach so delicate, she knew she’d be more than just uncomfortable trying to sleep buttoned into the fitted bodice of her gown. It made her fume to know she’d have to ask Tommy for help, but she stood and turned her back to him.

“Could you undo my buttons, please?”

He didn’t reply, but after a few moments she heard him stand, and then she felt him pushing the buttons through their slits with the sort of perfunctory haste one might use in tossing unwanted items into a dustbin.

When he was finally done, she glanced over her shoulder and saw that he had already turned away from her. She removed her gown and laid it over the back of the chair, then climbed into the bed in her chemise and stretched out under the blanket with unutterable relief. The last thing she did before dropping her head to the pillow was to pull the pins out of her hair and drop them on the bedside table.

A few minutes later, Tommy blew out the candle and the bed sagged as he got in on the other side. She was grateful for the exhaustion that pulled her into sleep.

* * *

As Tommy lay next to Eliza, the even sound of her breathing told him that she’d fallen asleep almost immediately. He was not so fortunate. She might be an infuriating woman whose actions had forced him into a marriage he didn’t want, but she was also the woman with whom he’d shared a passionate sexual encounter that his body hadn’t forgotten. Unbuttoning her gown had been a torture he’d pushed past as quickly as he could, but at least the light in the room was dim. He’d kept his eyes on the back of her head the whole time.

When he’d come to blow out the last candle, he’d seen that she’d taken her hair down. She looked different with her hair loose—younger, vulnerable, and achingly lovely, and he’d known that his efforts to ignore her appeal had been useless. He still wanted her, and he was hugely annoyed with himself for it.

He rolled closer to the edge of the bed, pulling the blanket tighter over himself against the damp autumn chill, and refused to think about the fact that Eliza was sleeping next to him in only a chemise. He felt like a trussed chicken lying there in his breeches and tailcoat. In India, most nights he wore nothing to bed. Not that he missed the extreme heat or the swarms of flies and mosquitos, but he did miss what he did there: riding out to far-flung royal courts to conduct talks, intervening in diplomatically sticky situations, evading capture when the tables suddenly turned. He’d even negotiated his own release from prison on one occasion.

While often sweet, life in England had never offered him anything like that.

Eliza rolled over onto her back and began to snore softly, and the last thing Tommy thought before falling asleep was, oddly, that the sound was peaceful.

He awoke early the next morning, predictably aroused by the awareness that there was a beautiful woman in his bed. Eliza was still sleeping, and he rolled his head on the pillow and took in the head beside him. Strands of reddish-gold hair lay across her cheek, drawing his attention to the way her eyelashes brushed the fragile skin under her eyes and the hint of fine lines at their edges. She looked…real.

He got out of bed.

While she slept on, he called for breakfast to be brought in along with hot water. Having done for himself so often on his travels, he rarely felt the need for a valet. He was adept at packing garments so they didn’t wrinkle, he’d become handy with a needle after all those months aboard ship watching the sailors sew, and he could certainly shave himself.

When the hot water came, he was not particularly quiet as he set out his soap and razor, and after a few minutes he heard Eliza shifting in the bed.

“Tommy?” She sounded sleepy.

“Time to get up and eat. We’re leaving in twenty minutes.”

“Twenty minutes—” she began in a way that sounded like she had a great deal of outrage to express, but she swallowed whatever she’d been about to say and sat up, pulling the blanket around her. He caught a glimpse of her in his looking glass, and the sight startled a laugh out of him.

She frowned. “What?”

A clutter of curls flopped dizzily across one side of her forehead and stood up in a lion’s mane around her head. Her big blue eyes were still soft with sleep, her lips pink. He reminded himself of her shallowness.

“Your hair,” he said gruffly, focusing his eyes on the reflection of his own cheek as he dragged the razor along the skin.

“If you will leave the room,” she said, “I will see to my hair and change my clothes.”

“You can change behind the screen,” he said, guessing that she simply wanted him to leave. Perhaps it was childish of him to want to thwart her, but he couldn’t seem to help himself.

A few seconds passed. “Very well,” she finally said. “Close your eyes.”

“I’m shaving. Or perhaps you would
like
me to slice myself open?”