How (Not) to Fall in Love (20 page)

What could I possibly say in response?
Dude, I love your eyelashes?

I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, but a tiny part of me was afraid to jinx things, by telling him how I felt. Besides, he’d said enough for both of us.

“Lucas?”

“Mm?” he murmured, his lips inches from mine. One hand still stroked my back, the other still played with my hair.

“Is this the part where you kiss me?”

“Right,” he chuckled, just before his mouth claimed mine. “Like I’d forget that part.”

He kissed me gently at first, waiting to see how I responded. I reached up to run my fingers through his hair and it was even better than I’d imagined. His grip tightened around me and I felt the muscles in his arms flex as he deepened the kiss, his lips hungry against mine.

I tugged at his hair, pressing into him. He groaned deep in his throat and his tongue swept into my mouth, making my world tilt. Then both of his hands were underneath my sweater, his callused hands on my smooth back, making me melt against him, caressing yet insistent as his tongue plunged even deeper, making me stagger against the bar counter.

He broke the kiss and whispered in my ear, “Just so you’re clear, that wasn’t a pity kiss.”

I swallowed, struggling to find my voice. “I don’t know. I might still need some convincing.”

He laughed softly against my hair. “I’ll see what I can do.”

And he did.

Chapter Twenty-Five

November 30

L
ucas spent the night.

But not with me.

He slept on the couch in the family room, after the two of us spent a couple of hours on the couch not watching the buddy movie he insisted on putting in the DVD player.

When the sunlight woke me, happiness washed over me like a river. I could hardly believe last night had happened, but when I looked out my bedroom window, his car was in the driveway.

I showered quickly and took more time getting dressed than usual. When I sat at my vanity and looked in the mirror, I grinned. Maybe I wasn’t a supermodel, but Lucas said he loved me. And he’d somehow managed to fall in love with me during the worst time of my life.

“But that’s why,” I whispered. Because somehow, all of this drama had made me blossom into someone I didn’t know I could be. I looked at the pepper shakers scattered across my dresser. It was because of them that I’d found Lucas. And Charlie and Liz. That I’d found a way to cope with everything.

Suddenly I remembered Mom passed out in her bedroom. My happy bubble popped instantly. Crap. What was going to happen with her today? Now that she didn’t have a job, what would happen to us?

I so badly wanted to rent Mrs. Sandri’s house and move, the sooner the better. The reporters wouldn’t be able to find us anymore. We’d be away from the country club witches who didn’t speak to Mom. I’d be where I now felt at home. I hoped Mom would eventually feel that way, too, about our new neighborhood.

I peeked in on Mom, who snored loudly. She wasn’t getting up anytime soon. I tiptoed in and checked the room for puke. Nada. That was a relief.

Downstairs, Lucas was already awake making us espressos. My heart swelled, seeing him shirtless and barefoot at the counter, yawning as he looked out the window. He’d fed Toby, too.

“Are you sure you can work that contraption? She’s a beast.”

He turned around, looking so sexy with his messy bed head that I thought I might melt. “Hey, Shaker Girl. Sleep well?”

I nodded. I loved the way he looked at me.

“Good. I’m glad one of us did.” He glared at Toby accusingly. “Your dog insisted on sleeping on the couch with me. He slept great but I didn’t.”

“The hazards of being a dog whisperer,” I said. “Plus, I’m not so sure he’s my dog anymore. He seems to have transferred his allegiances.”

“He was easy to win over.” He gave me his sexiest smile. “His owner took a while longer to convince.”

I raised my eyebrows. “I’m a much better actress than I realized. You had me at hello.”

He groaned. “Is that another old movie reference?”

I grinned wickedly. “You watch too many action movies. With not enough kissing.”

He pointed at me. “And you need to watch movies from the twenty-first century. There’s this thing called Netflix. Maybe you’ve heard of it?”

I clucked my tongue. “And here I thought you were a romantic.”

“Oh I am,” he said. “I can prove it.” He shot me a sexy smile. “Come here and I’ll show you.”

So I did.

Long after the espressos were cold, we sat down to eat generic cereal. Lucas frowned after he took a bite. “You need to buy the good stuff.”

“We’re on a budget, cereal snob.”

“You gotta watch for the sales. Pickles is great at that. She’s in charge of cereal choices, but she can’t spend more than three bucks a box.”

I laughed. “I’ll take her shopping with me sometime.”

He sighed. “That reminds me. It’s going to suck having a four-year-old gloat about my love life. She’s been wanting us to get together since that day she spilled all the beads at Liz’s.”

I ducked my head. “She has excellent taste.”

He took a bite of cereal and nodded. “Except for the Firestorm Fairies.”

“You have a lot to learn, Grasshopper. We’ll start with season one, Fire Force Revealed.”

“It can’t be any worse than the ancient stuff you watch.”

I threw my napkin at him.

He slid off the barstool. “Come on,” he said, reaching for my hand. “We have to finish our conversation.” He pulled me into the family room and we plopped on the couch. He pulled on his shirt, which was probably a good thing, if he wanted me to focus. I waited while he tugged on his shoes.

“Last night, before we got…distracted…I told you I had a few suggestions.”

I opened my mouth and he put a finger on my lips. “Please. Just this once. Listen.”

My lips closed and he dropped his hand.

“Okay, so, it’s none of my business, yet it is. Especially now.” His eyes locked on me, brimming with emotion. “I think Mrs. Sandri’s house would be perfect for you and your mom. But now your mom doesn’t have a job.”

“I’ve been thinking about that, too,” I whispered, blinking back tears.

“I’m sure the estate sale will pull in a decent amount of cash. But you need to put down a deposit and first month’s rent now.” He took a breath. “Don’t you dare accuse me of rescuing you. It would be a loan. You’d pay me back when you could.”

“No—” I began, but he put up his hand.

His eyes pleaded with me. “God, Darcy. It’s not like you’re stealing from me. And I mean it about being a loan. Because I know that’s the only way you’ll accept help.”

A few traitorous tears escaped. Lucas reached over to wipe them away with his thumb, his touch making me shiver.

“I’ve got to get to class, then I’m due at Charlie’s at two. Are you working after school today?”

“No, but I need to come by for more boxes.”

Lucas nodded. “Good. You need to bring your mom so she can sign the lease. I’ll arrange to meet Mrs. Sandri. How about four at her house?”

“Lucas. You’re so incredibly…” There weren’t enough superlatives for me to say what was in my heart.

“Zip it.” He grinned at me. “You had me at hello.”

We stared at each other, then he stood up suddenly. “I can’t stay here, or else I’ll start kissing you again and I’ll never make it to class.” He put out his hands and pulled me to my feet. “One last thing, Darcy.” He paused and ran a hand through his hair.

“I know what you’re going to say. About my mom and her drinking. She needs help.” He looked relieved that I’d said it and he didn’t have to. I stared at his shoes as I spoke. “I just haven’t been able to confront her yet.” But last night was the last straw. I had to talk to her. Maybe losing her job would make her face the truth.

Lucas tilted my chin so I was looking at him. “Do you want me here when you talk to her? Or maybe Charlie?”

I shook my head. “It’s really between her and me.” I put my hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. “But thank you.”

His jaw twitched as he covered my hand with his. I felt his heart speed up. “I’ll see you later today. Text me if you can’t make the four o’clock.”

“Okay,” I whispered. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “That one doesn’t count. Now get out of here.”

“Your wish is my command, Shaker Girl.”

After he drove away, I dragged Toby back into the house. He’d chased Lucas’s car halfway down the driveway.

I knew just how Toby felt.

Chapter Twenty-Six

I
carried a steaming mug of coffee into Mom’s bedroom and perched on the bed, rubbing her back. She mumbled and rolled away from me, pulling the covers up to her neck.

“Mom,” I spoke quietly. “It’s time to wake up.”

She mumbled again. I set the mug on the nightstand and pulled the covers back. She rolled over and glared at me. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Her face was smeared with makeup. Her hair hadn’t been washed in forever.

“I’m waking you up. In more ways than one.”

She hoisted herself onto her elbows, glaring at me. “You’re not in charge, Darcy.”

I almost laughed. “Actually, I kind of am. Have been for some time now. So I’m telling you to get up. We have a lot to do today. We have boxes to pack. A lease to sign.”

Her mouth opened and shut like a ventriloquist’s dummy.

“This isn’t you, Mom.” My hand swept around the room, which was a disaster zone of piles of clothes and unwashed plates. She fell back against the pillows. I picked up her hand and held it tight. “You’re still in there, my perfect mom. The one who doesn’t get drunk and drop the f-bomb. The one who never leaves the house without looking like a glamour photo.” I smiled down at her. “Actually, it’s okay if you tone that down. We can’t afford the tanning salon and hair maintenance anymore. But you could at least take a shower.” I pushed the limp hair out of her eyes. “I’ve been doing your laundry, but you keep wearing the same stuff over and over.”

A tear rolled down her cheek, and into her ear, but she didn’t say anything.

“It sucks that you got fired, but you needed to get free of Pam. I know you can find a better job. I believe it, even if you don’t.” I put my hand on her heart. “But most of all, I need my mom back. Because I’ve been trying to do it all by myself.” My voice caught. “And I can’t…can’t keep doing it. I need you, Mom. So much.”

Her eyes closed and tears streamed down her face. I lay down beside her and held her hand in mine as we breathed together.

Inhaled. Exhaled. Just breathed.

M
om called school, excusing me to leave at noon because she wanted me to go with her to a recovery meeting. I was nervous, but proud of her. I stood at my locker, which was a disaster, not organized the way it used to be. Somehow I’d hardly noticed its disintegration. I guess it reflected my state of mind. Or it used to, anyway. But today my mind was clear, focused. Hopeful.

I knelt on the floor, digging through the mess, pulling out papers to be recycled or filed. Shoved in a corner, I found a typed list: The Top Ten Reasons Chloe Hendricks Sucks.

I’d actually come up with way more than ten reasons when I’d made the list. I scanned the reasons, some of them mean and petty, some sort of funny. After the Letterman locker defacing, I’d wanted revenge, so I’d created this list and planned to use it, but then I’d chickened out.

Reading it now, all I felt was relief that I hadn’t done to her what she’d done to me. I didn’t want to be that person. I tore the list into pieces, bursts of gratitude shooting through me with each rip. I tossed the shredded list and the rest of my old papers in a recycling bin and headed for my truck.

The parking lot was full of people since it was lunch break. Chloe and Ryan leaned against his Range Rover, kissing. As I walked by them, I smiled because all I felt was lightness, like a weight I didn’t even know I’d been carrying floated away. They had their lives. I had mine. And in spite of the Tri!Umphant! Shit Storm, I wouldn’t trade with them in a million years.

Plus, there was amazingly epic kissing in my future, too. In just a few hours, if I was lucky.

M
om and I pulled up to Mrs. Sandri’s house right on time. Charlie was there, too, talking to Mrs. Sandri and Lucas on the porch. My mom froze when she saw everyone.

“It’s okay, Mom. They’re here to help us. They care about us.”

She didn’t want to get out of the car. “I don’t think I can do this. I’m so embarrassed.” She looked at me, panicked. “And your boyfriend is here, too. I know I said awful things to him last night. I’m so sorry, honey.” She dropped her gaze. “They care about you, Darcy, not me.”

I tilted her chin up, just like Lucas did to me. “Then let that be enough. Anyone who cares about me gets you, too.” I smiled at her, but she was crying again. “Besides, you know that’s not true. Uncle Charlie cares about you, too.”

“I’ve let you down,” she said. “What if I do it again?”

“What did they say in that meeting today, Mom? You have to take it day by day. And today you haven’t let me down. You’re here, where I asked you to be. Now it’s time to do the next thing.”

I got out of the car and walked around to open her door. I held her hand as she stepped out. She was pale, but her hair was shiny and she wore clean clothes that weren’t wrinkled. I handed her a handkerchief to wipe her tears.

She laughed. “Where’d you find this?”

“In your dresser.” I glanced up the sidewalk toward Lucas and Charlie. Lucas jumped off the steps and jogged over to us. He bent down to kiss my cheek, laced his fingers through mine, and smiled shyly at my mom.

“Hi Mrs. Covington,” he said. “I hope you’ll like this house.”

Mom blushed. “Lucas, I need to apologize for last night—”

Lucas put up a hand. “Please don’t. I know you’ve been under a lot of stress.”

She shook her head, eyes downcast. “That’s no excuse,” she muttered.

“Come on, Mom,” I said, tugging her after me. “Mrs. Sandri is waiting for us.”

Charlie hugged Mom and spoke softly to her. I couldn’t hear what he said, but I could tell Mom was fighting back tears.

Mrs. Sandri ushered us into her house, fluttering around, offering tea and cookies. Lucas and Charlie waited in the living room while Mom and I toured the house.

“What do you think?” I asked her when we’d reached the back bedroom.

Mom looked at the lace-curtained windows and doily-covered nightstand. “It’s like a dollhouse,” she said.

“I know. Isn’t it great? It’s just right for the two of us.”

Mom looked at me, her eyes filled with sadness. “It could work for three people, too.”

I nodded but said nothing.

“Charlie’s offering to loan us the deposit and first month’s rent to tide us over until after the estate sale,” she said.

“Lucas offered, too,” I said.

Mom frowned. “I hate being a charity case.”

“It’s a loan, not charity. You know we’ll make enough money at the estate sale to pay them back. And you’ll get a better job, Mom. I know you will. Plus I’m earning money. I can still help with groceries and gas.”

A deep sigh shuddered through Mom. Her eyes looked clearer than they had in weeks. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Your life. My life. It was supposed to be—”

“I don’t know anymore what life is supposed to be, Mom. I’m just dealing with what it is.”

Mom gave me a tight-lipped smile. “Planting new crops?”

“Yes. Sometimes you have to start over. Like Dad says…sometimes acts of God, or acts of people…mess everything up. I’m not going to sit and rot, and I’m not going to let you, either.”

“I don’t know if I can do this, Darcy,” she whispered.

“The universe threw us a huge curveball, Mom. But we’re still here. We can’t give up.” My voice sounded stronger than I felt.

She stared down at the flowered rug. “I wish your dad was here.”

“Me too. But he’s not.” Frustration welled up inside of me. I knew this was hard for her. Moving out of our home meant that life would never be the same. It was literally closing the door on our old life.

Mom took a deep breath. “All right. Let’s sign the lease.”

I hugged her tightly, not wanting to let go. “It’s going to work. I know it is.”

She held my hand as we walked down the hallway. “When did you get so strong?”

We signed the paperwork with Mrs. Sandri, who insisted we eat her cookies to seal the deal.

Afterward Charlie and Mom went outside, to talk about the money, I assumed. Mrs. Sandri took the empty plates to the kitchen while Lucas and I sat on the small sofa, our legs in full contact this time. He leaned over to kiss me, but I pushed him away.

“What?” he laughed as I held him at arm’s length.

“Mrs. Sandri will be back any second.”

“So? She figured out you were my girlfriend before you did.”

I shoved him back against the fluffy cushions. “Very funny.”

He pulled me into him and kissed me before I could argue any more.

“I knew I was right about you two,” said Mrs. Sandri as she walked back into the room. Her eyes danced, and she smiled at me when we pulled apart. “One of the advantages of old age, dear. I know love when I see it.”