How It Rolls (27 page)

              I must’ve called her phone ninety times.  I texted that many times as well.  I called Farrah, thinking she would run to her friend but she hadn’t heard from her.  I fell asleep sometime before dawn, on the outside of her front door.  I had to be here when she came back. 

             
“Go home, Falcon.” A voice and a kick of my shoes woke me.

             
“Reed!”   I smiled up at her out of pure instinct but she didn’t return the gesture. 

             
“I need time Falcon, go home—please.” She opened her door and slammed it behind her, moving around my slumped body.  I got up and left, what else could I do? I could only imagine her reaction when she found out that I bought her a frickin’ house. 

             
I went back to my apartment.  I tried to get some sleep since I had Frenchy’s class at seven, which was in three hours.  But instead, I tossed and turned relentlessly until I threw the comforter, which smelled like her, on the floor and got dressed for class.  I seriously considered attending class as one of those pajama guys.  But I just couldn’t do it.  I threw on some jeans and a gray Hurley t-shirt and headed out.  I left my phone at home.  I knew that my next phone call would be from Nellie, dogging me out for whatever I did.  And honestly, now that I thought about it, I couldn’t really pinpoint what I had done wrong.  I found her aunt like she wanted.  I knew deep down she wanted to find her.  And then I sat in front of her and told her the truth.  Damn it, buying her a house and giving it to her all skeezy-like was much easier than this. 

             
I knew she had practice that night so I didn’t expect anything until after then.  But hour by hour ticked by and I heard nothing.

             
I gave up.  I did what she asked and here I am, alone again.  I pushed too hard, moved too fast, professed too much, bounded too quickly. 

Chapter 34

Reed

Am I the only one in the world who loves cookies? I love cookies.  I don’t care what kind, what flavor, what shape.  I love cookies.  And after I acted like such a spaz the other day, the cookie market was in dire danger of me completely depleting its stock.  Watch out cookie people, I’m on a rampage.

              He didn’t deserve that reaction.  I was the one who had told him time after time that I wanted to find Elaine.  And he went out and did exactly that. 

             
I called him.  Time to ‘fess up. 

             
“This is Falcon.  Spill it.  Might call you back, might not.”  His voicemail always cracked me up. 

             
I figured he was at work and I was almost late anyway.  I drove to work and couldn’t help but check my phone for messages.  I must’ve turned up the volume thirty three times to make sure it wasn’t on vibrate.  I stopped by his office on my way in but he wasn’t there. 

             
“He has class today, don’t be stupiculous.”  Lord help me, Nellie’s making up words again.

             
“Stupiculous?  Cro-ing, I’m good with, but I’m not feeling this one.”

             
“Ugh—fine.  Owen said it was a little much.” She smiled at herself.

             
“I don’t know where he is.  I mean, I know he had that French guy this morning and then he has two snoozers this afternoon.  But it’s three already.  He is usually here by now.”

             
“He’s not answering his phone.”  She threaded her arm through mine.

             
“Hmmm—you know that runs in the family.  They have a thing about not answering their phone when they’re upset.  And since you don’t know where he is either, I’m assuming y’all are in a tiff.”

             
“Yeah, I flipped out on him after he told me he found my aunt. “

             
She gasped beside me.  We both stood there staring into his office while we discussed it.

             
“You’re gonna have to start being careful what you wish for.  He-Man’s not gonna let those things go.  He’ll go overboard every time. “

             
“Ya think?” We both laughed. 

             
“So where do I find him if he’s not answering the phone and he’s not at home.”

             
She looked at me, shocked.  “You haven’t figured it out yet? 

             
“Figured out what?”  She smiled and squeezed my waist. 

             
“I’d bet my ass he’s with Sylvia.  We all run to her when we have problems.”

             
“Enough about me—tell me how you are.”

             
“I’m here, other than that, I’m just going through the motions.  But we’ll be fine.  Look,” she looked around the store quickly.  “It’s not busy and Huxley got all the shipping done this morning.  Why don’t you head over to the restaurant?” 

             
“Are you sure?  I hate to take off again.”

             
She patted me on the back.  “You’re family now.  Anyway, it’s more for me than you.  Falcon has been the happiest I’ve ever seen him since y’all got together.  I like my bestie better when he’s all cheery.”

             
“Ok, thank you,” I headed out the backdoor and she yelled out after me.  “Hey Teela!” I turned around and she fidgeted for a minute.

             
“I never really thanked you properly for last week.  You don’t know how much it means to me.  I’ve always wanted a sister.”

             
She ducked behind the wall before I could respond.  But I hoped by my actions she knew I loved her back. 

             
I got in my car and drove to the restaurant.  And sure enough, his truck was parked in the back.  I tip toed through the kitchen, trying my damndest not to disturb Andre.  I knocked on the door of his office and mentally fist bumped Nellie, the girl knew him like the back of her own hand.  Sylvia answered the door and winked at me before pulling me in and exiting. 

             
I sat at the desk across from him.  Haggard was the word that came to mind first. 

             
“I’m not apologizing.” He said with his head down.

             
“I didn’t ask you to.” I replied. 

             
“I tried to help you.  But it’s fine.  I get it.”  Oh, now I was pissed.

             
“What do you think you understand?” I reached across the desk and pulled the pen from his hand and closed the huge binder of checks. 

             
“I went too far.  I should’ve just let you find her on your own.  I shouldn’t have interfered and now you’re pissed.”

             
“Oh, well then there’s no reason for me to be here then.  Since the educated forty year old has it all figured out for me.”

             
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.  Do you even want her number?”

             
And then I lied through my teeth, “Yeah, that’s what I came here for.”

             
He picked up his phone, turned it on, and then texted me the number.  As soon as I received the text I walked out.  Sylvia smiled at me on my way out but I just nodded my head.  I hated leaving him there thinking it was his fault.  But I protected myself.  This way I didn’t have to shred my entire soul for him to pick through; I could leave some of it intact. 

~~~~~~

             
Weeks went by.  Aunt Elaine and I talked every day now and tomorrow I was flying out to see her.  She’d invited me to stay inevitably and if it wasn’t for my house, I would.  He hadn’t called since the day at his office at the restaurant.  Maddox and I called every day and he’d confided in me the reason why he had been so weird lately.  It turned out that he and I had more in common than anyone knew. 

             
He had a plan put in place for when he graduated high school and his family had no idea.  Tomorrow we planned to celebrate his eighteenth birthday.  I’d gotten a pretty harsh tongue lashing from Sylvia when I tried to back out over the phone.  She guaranteed me that Falcon and I would get through all this, she had a feeling, she said.  But we were at an impasse.  I thought it was my fault for being too sensitive and he thought it was his for being, well, who he was.  And we were both too cantankerous to admit it. 

             
We all got to the restaurant and Falcon ate without ever meeting my eyes.  He was purposefully not looking at me.  Whenever I spoke he looked at his plate.  We sang to Maddox and went through the motions and as soon as the cake was eaten, he got up and left.  He hugged and kissed every member of his family and went through the front door without a blink in my direction.  It stung.

Chapter 35

Falcon

I used to make fun of men who looked all strung out when their girls left them.  And now, looking in the mirror, the reflection showing a clear lack of interest in hygiene—I get it.  I could give a flying fat feline’s ass what I looked like right now.

              “Come on man, I know you’ve got more than that.” Owen was in full personal trainer mode and I was his latest project.  And believe it or not, it helped.  I pushed all my anger at myself and all my love for her into the force moving those weights away from me, pulling them towards me.  He came and got me after Nellie blabbed to him about whatever in the Hell happened between Reed and I.  I don’t know how she did it, shit, I can’t even explain it myself.  All I knew was that she was leaving tomorrow and I hadn’t talked to her.  After I left the gym with Owen, I was going over to her house.  If nothing else, to say goodbye—something. 

             
She hasn’t called or tried to contact me.  Not that I’ve really been available.  I’ve been working nights at both the bookstore and the restaurant.  Plus, I haven’t been to a family dinner since Maddox’s birthday.  I couldn’t look at her across the table without wanting to hold her. 

             
I made my mom cry.  I hadn’t missed a family dinner in years.  My Dad was currently not speaking to me very much, he was mad at me on her behalf as well as his.  It was easier this way.  I could keep to myself, hidden in this shell of work and numbers if they were all angry with me.  There would be no one who cared enough to tell me to get more sleep.  No one to tell me less coffee, more real food.  No one to hand me a razor in the morning like Reed used to after she brushed her teeth.  And even if I did shave, it was no use if she wasn’t there to make sure I didn’t miss a spot and catch the one ever present dab of shaving cream I didn’t wipe away.

             
I also switched my music.  I couldn’t handle the 80’s anymore.  It was just too sappy.  How did I ever listen to that crap?  It’s all whiny sentimental bullshit.  Just because they mix it with an electronic beat doesn’t redeem it.  I moved to Johnny Cash instead. 

             
I showered at the gym and put on jeans and an old Iron Maiden t shirt.  I put on my Vans and got in my truck.  If I did love 80’s music still, this would be the perfect time for The Final Countdown. 

             
I knocked at the door and fully expected her not to answer.  She opened the door, with the chain still locked in and looked at me. 

             
“Hey, can—can I talk to you?” She shut the door and until I heard the chain unlatch, I didn’t know what would occur.

             
“Come in,” she said. 

             
She stared at me as I walked in.  “Want some coffee,” she asked. 

             
“Yeah,” I walked behind her and took a seat at her island. 

             
“Tons of sugar and cream?” She asked as she pulled a cup down from the cabinet.

             
“No, um, no sugar, no milk, actually.” She turned to me, confused.

             
“Owen, he’s got me on this sugar free diet, no carbs and shit.” I shrugged. 
Like she cares, Falcon, jeez.

             
She handed it to me and took a seat across from me and we didn’t speak for a while.  “Come on Falcon, you’ve never had trouble telling me things.  Spill it.”

             
“I just wanted to say that I’m an ass.  I really thought I was doing something right.  I shouldn’t have stepped in and found her.  I just hear you want something and my brain snaps into gear.  I can’t help myself.”

             
“And I overreacted.  It just felt like maybe you were trying to push me off on someone else.  It kinda reminded me of being moved to the next family.  I know it’s stupid but what can I say, I’m a damaged girl.”

             
“If that’s what you think about me, then there’s nothing else I have, I mean, nothing else I can do to change your mind.”