How I Became Lotus Raine...the Porn Star (19 page)

“Sooooo,” she let the word drag out. “I don’t know if Lucy has told you much about me, but I’m not one to hold back. And forgive me for the fact that I’ve never met a porn star before. But I have so many questions.” I wanted to roll my eyes. I wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her—tell her I didn’t invite her over to hound the poor guy. That was actually my job. “Is there any way I can ask you a few?” She held her hands in the air. “Off the record, of course.”

“Sure,” he replied with a smile and leaned back against the counter.

“I had always had this idea that if I ever had the chance, I’d be asking a female porn star. But I’m sure you can still answer some.”

“If not, I can find out for you.” I elbowed his side.

“Do you always come?”

“Yes,” Brent replies taking a drink from his bottle.

“Does the girl always come?”

I looked up at him the same time he glanced down at me with his cocky smirk. He knew he always made me come, but I wasn’t the one getting paid to film it. I didn’t have to worry about stage fright so to speak.

“No. They don’t. But they fake it.”

“I hate that shit.” Reggie shifted in her stool, turning to the side to cross her legs. “Why fake it? Sex can still be enjoyable without receiving the big O.”

“I agree.” Brent straightened. “But when you’re getting paid to have sex that someone is going to watch for the simple fact of coming, then it only makes sense that the people the person happens to be watching do the same as well.”

“I personally don’t care about the coming part. Especially when the guy shoots his load all over the chicks face. Fucking nasty.”

Our pizzas finally showed putting an end to our sex talk 101. I knew Reggie still had more questions brewing, but she kept them to herself. Thank God. Just because I was getting paid to be there and interview him about his career, I didn’t want to wear the guy out with my friend showing up and doing the same thing. I was worried too much prying would sour his taste about it all. I couldn’t risk him pushing me away when we only had five days left together.

“Okay. Before I go, can I get one for the road?” Reggie asks and I know she’s not talking about a slice of pizza. She doesn’t eat and drive.

Brent and I accompany her as she walks towards the door. Neither of us replied as we waited for her to just ask. That’s her normal code of ethic.

“Why Cruz Storm?” She scrunched her nose up.

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. I had wondered myself, but since I wasn’t back into the actual interview part, I had refrained asking him anything that was associated with it. I get that any name in the industry needs to be catchy and unforgettable, but some can be so corny.

Brent laughed, scratching the back up his neck before throwing his hand through his hair a couple times. “You know those quizzes you see in magazines and online?”

“The girlie ones?” Reggie asked.

“I think they’re gender neutral, thank you.” Brent got slightly defensive causing Reggie and I to cover our mouths as we giggled. “But yes. Those ones.” He smiled. “A long time ago, before I ever thought about getting into porn I had read one. Something like ‘What would your stripper name be?’ And all you had to do is pick the last name of either your favorite actor or musician and favorite type of weather.” He crossed his arms, thinking he had sufficed her question.

“So,” Reggie props one hand on her hip, and waves around the other. “Let me get this straight. Tom Cruise is the actor and your favorite type of weather is storms?”

“Yep. Pretty much.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and bounced on the balls of his feet.

“It is catchy.” She looked up in thought as she started tapping her chin. “Kidman Snow would be mine.” The she looked at me with wide eyes. “And yours would be Lotus Rain. Lucky bitch. Yours is actually hot.”

My best friend was right. It was a hot name indeed. After she left, we both headed towards the living room to relax and I took the down time as my opportunity to do what I woke up that morning to do.

“Just one sec,” I told Brent.

Growing some balls, or courage, I quickly went back to my room and yanked the piece of paper out of my notebook. I already had three lines carefully crossed on it. Not everything listed was sexual, and there was a couple on my list that Brent wouldn’t be able to assist me with. But I was excited to see the one’s he was willing to.

“Here,” I said as I sat down on the couch Indian style, facing him.

“What’s this?” he asked as he unfolded the paper that I had folded in half as I walked back out.

“You wanted to know what you had left to claim.” I raised my brow at him as I nervously bit at my nail. “That’s a list that Reggie and I came up with a while ago. It’s not particularly all things related to sex.” I was suddenly embarrassed as he silently read it. I felt like I needed to further clarify how I came up with the list. I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to explain my fantasies to a porn star, but I did. “I read a lot,” I blurted out. Brent just nodded as he kept his eyes fixed on my list. “So, many of those came from things I’ve read about, and wanted to try.”

“If I had to guess,” he glanced at me, then back at the list, touching the list with his finger as if he was counting. “All but three of these are things you’ve read about.”

“Which three?” I asked wanting to see if he guessed correctly and because I was suffering temporary amnesia not remembering what all I had put on it.

“Number five. Get a tattoo.” I nodded.

“Number seven. Forgive my mom.” I nodded again, feeling embarrassed that that one thing could give away more of me than I was willing to share.

“And number nine. Fall in love.”

That one made me blush, and blurt out what I believed to be rational reasoning. “Every girl wants to fall in love. And most books are about just that.”

He dropped my list onto the coffee table, and turned to face me. He let his hand glide down the side of his face as he eyed me with the most sincerity I had seen yet from him. “Believe it or not, but most guys want to as well. I’m just surprised you haven’t yet.”

I shrugged. “I guess I’m too picky.”

He laughed at my answer. “No, babe. You’re smart. And I’m lucky you’re allowing me to get to know you in ways no one else has. “Now,” he turned to grab the list. “I know for a fact I can assist with all of these but one. So,” he sat back into the couch, getting real comfortable with the half-cocky grin of his. “Where do you want to start?”

“How ‘bout reverse cowgirl?”

He leaned back, stretching his legs out as he adjusted his growing cock. “Saddle up,” he said before patting his lap.

“Hold that thought.” I jumped up to head to my room. But Brent grabbed my arm, pulling me onto his lap.

“What did that top one say?” He nodded his head toward the list and I reached back and grabbed it.

I could make out the other ones that were crossed off: try anal, sleep with a guy (like actually sleep), give a blowjob…

“Oh, it’s have a one-night stand,” I said and flung the paper back on the table.

“And you’ve done that?” Brent eyed me with curiosity.

“No,” I let out a nervous laugh. “I crossed it off after our bathroom rendezvous at the club.”

“But that wasn’t a one-night stand,” he said like there was clarification needed—maybe I wasn’t fully sure what a one-night stand consisted of.

“I know.” I rubbed his shoulder.

“Then why’d you cross it off?”

I sighed as I fiddled with the buttons of his shirt. “Because I knew I’d never be able to have a one-night stand. When I left that night, I knew I missed the opportunity to legitimately cross it off my list. The only guy that I was physically ready to let it happen with, I had pushed away.”

I kept my eyes down and started unbuttoning his shirt. Once every single button was undone, fully exposing his chest, I ran my hands up his lightly haired skin. I was thankful he didn’t shave himself bare for the sake of his career. I lifted my head as my hands made their way up, running up over his shoulders, pushing his shirt fully off.

I stared deeply into his eyes as his searched mine. They were more of a green that night instead of the hazel I had become accustomed to. The light scruff cascading down his jawline couldn’t hide the lone dimple I had formed an addiction to.

“Truth is I knew I couldn’t have a one-night stand with you. Somehow I knew one night wouldn’t be enough.” Brent shifted me so that I straddled him. He sat up straighter, pressing his chest to mine as he wrapped a hand through my hair and claimed my lips. He kissed me for the longest time with such passion that I’d never before experienced. Then he stripped me and himself and turned me around, facing away from him as he pushed my body down. He held my body up, pressed against his chest, kissing my neck as we met each other’s movements. Brent was definitely an expert toe-curler…among the obvious.

As we laid in bed that night, I took the opportunity to just talk. He was pleasantly easy to do that with. He never made me feel stupid for questions or concerns or lack of sexual knowledge. And that night he didn’t make me feel out of place for inquiring about Roxy.

“Umm,” I started as my hand lightly rubbed his chest.

“Yes?”

“That Roxy chic…”

“Yes?” he pushed again, urging me to talk. I was glad to see it wasn’t just dirty talk he wanted to pull out of me—it was talking in general.

I propped my head up on my elbow and let out a sigh. “Is she your ex?”

“Not really. She wanted more, but I wasn’t willing.”

“Then why’d she show up here today like she owned the damn place?”

“She came to inform me that she’s who I’ll be filming with.”

“Lovely,” I said as I fell back onto the bed. A looming sense of dread took over and I hated it.

There was nothing else that needed to be said from either of us. He didn’t need to comfort me about the situation. Truth is, it wasn’t just Roxy. It was knowing that I’d feel the way I was no matter the woman. I knew what I was getting into, and I wasn’t going to change it. I’d still feel the same no matter when it ended, so why cut something short that I enjoyed so much? I wouldn’t.

“I HAVE TO ask. Did it getting boring? I mean I know the sex was obviously exciting and time consuming. But when you guys weren’t having sex, what were you doing?”

“No, it wasn’t boring. It was like a vacation. Yes, I was working, but hanging out with Brent was nowhere close to feeling like a tediously earned paycheck. I was there to basically be his shadow. Mr. Callahan didn’t have to know that during the off times our shadows were acrobats.”

Shepard snickers and I laugh.

“The thing is I was there to solely focus on him. Anything and everything I personally had going on or interests in, were to be put on hold for that entire week. I thought it would suck and that I would’ve been bored out of my ever-loving mind, but Brent was good company. He was more than just a skillful sex-god, he was a person. And he happened to care about my interests as well.”

“WHAT KIND OF stuff do you do for fun?” Brent asked as he weaved our fingers together. Two nights ago I had told him it was pointless for me to sleep in his bed. All the alpha females in the world would be pissed at how quickly my resolve dissolved. My excuse was good.

I didn’t want to chance missing out. I knew I was getting attached. Who wouldn’t? But I didn’t care because I knew even though I’d be losing him in the end; I was gaining myself in the process. And there was no way I was going to regret that.

“I already told you that I’m pretty boring.”

“I don’t believe that for one second.” He rolled onto his side, facing me. He cupped my chin in his hand as his thumb trailed dangerously close to my lips. “You’re too extraordinary to be boring.”

“If you had the opportunity to tell your life story, would you do it? And if so, how would it be told?” I asked him a question I already knew the answer to. Two reasons behind my method of madness. The first one was I loved his explanations for everything. Second, it temporarily took the heat off of me.

“I know what you’re doing. But I’ll answer your question.” He pressed his thumb to my lips and I puckered them, lightly kissing it. “My life story wouldn’t be simplified down to my career in porn. My life story would be vibrant, chaotic, controlled, and painted out. It wouldn’t be on some canvas that can be held by one single nail on one lonely wall. It’d be the biggest wall, in the busiest town I could find. Not saying my life story is this grand novelty that couldn’t fit on a simple canvas. It’s just, what would be the point of having the opportunity to tell your story, only for it to be hidden? No, if I were ever given the chance to tell mine, it’d be available for the whole world to see and judge. The good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, and all the grey in-between’s.”