Authors: Tim Curran
I was yours. You were mine.
You forgave me for what came next. I know you did.
In the dank, dusty confines of our tomb, I put the razor in your throat. You died quickly. There was little pain. Our moment was captured forever in that still, October place of time and memories. I laid with you all day while a frozen wind blew leaves and dead roses over us. While spiders spun webs and the dead became dust. Sometime later, a moon rose in the raging sky. It was huge and full and orange. Almost as huge as your dead, staring eyes.
When night came I was still there. I never left. In that vault of funereal charm and cold mourning my heart burns forever. A bleeding corpse-fat candle.
I still hear the wind, the thunder, the graveyard rats clawing in the walls. We’ll always be together in our womb of dread and beauty.
Good-bye, Eddy. Good-bye dark heart.
My screams go on forever.
Yours,
Cherry
It had been three months now since Stadtler was put in the room, since Zero began destroying his mind, unmaking it and laying it bare as bones. Finally, the door opened and Zero went in.
“How are you, my boy?”
Who was this man? Was he a friend?
Zero unlocked his shackles and Stadtler crawled into the corner, hugging himself.
“You don’t have to be afraid of me, my boy,” Zero soothed. “I’m your friend. I’ve come to help you.”
Stadtler looked at him. The place stunk of his own filth. His dark, quiet little hole was full of light now.
“Can you tell me your name?”
Stadtler shook his head. He couldn’t remember. He could only remember the name of the man who told his life story over and over. He knew every detail of that man’s life. But that wasn’t his life, was it?
“You see what I have here, boy?”
He did. It was a coin. A pretty, shiny silver coin. It caught the light and glimmered.
“Look at it, boy. It’s pretty, isn’t it? The beautiful light shines and shines? No, don’t look away. It’s a game, you see? Just keep looking at it. Shining. Glittering. Lovely coin.”
Stadtler watched it and it was so pretty. He saw so many things in the light that moved back and forth, back and forth. What a nice game this was. His eyelids slipped shut and he never even knew it.
“Can you hear me, boy?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to know who you are?”
“Yes.”
“Good. First you’ll have to remember the voice. Are you ready?”
“Yes.”
Zero lit a cigarette and began the final stage of his little experiment.
When Lisa woke the next morning, Fenn was already there. He was sitting in a chair, staring at her when she opened her eyes. Somehow, she’d suspected he would be. He hadn’t contacted her at all the day before and it seemed logical that he would come calling bright and early. And he did.
“Sleep well?” he asked in a cool tone.
“Fine.”
Her encounter with Eddy sprang into her mind and darkened her thoughts. The sheets were pulled up to her chin, so maybe Fenn hadn’t noticed the bruises on her body. She hoped not. If he had, there would be no way to lie her way out of it.
“I was busy yesterday,” he explained. “I should’ve called, but there just wasn’t time.”
“You don’t have to explain. I’m not your master.”
He lit a cigarette and there was anger in his eyes. Had it been the remark or was there something much worse eating at him? Oh, she’d know in time, but not until he was ready to tell her. She knew that much from experience.
“Something unusual came to light yesterday.”
“Oh?”
He nodded. “There’s a lot of crazy shit involved in this investigation, but this is the topper. This is a real good one. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry or have myself committed.”
“Tell me.”
He looked pale, his eyes beady. “You remember me telling you about that undertaker name of Fish?”
“Yes. He disappeared along with our Jane Doe.”
“We found him.” Fenn smiled a rubbery grin. “His car was abandoned in an alley. He was in the trunk, cut up like a side of beef and stuffed in garbage bags. What was left of him, that is. Nice, eh?” Fenn laughed. “But here’s the real good part. There was some blood and prints on the steering wheel. His blood. Guess whose prints?”
“Eddy?”
“Wrong. Our Jane Doe.”
Lisa waited for the punch line, but none was forthcoming. “Must be a mistake.”
“No mistake. I spent my day yesterday on this. I was on the boys at the lab like flies on shit. They checked and re-checked and re-re-checked. No mistake. Her prints, all right. If I didn’t know the dead couldn’t rise, I’d assume she killed him, cut him up, and stole his car.”
“That’s crazy.”
He laughed again. “Tell me one thing about this case that isn’t. His remains had been chewed on, Lisa. Something had been eating him. A great deal of him, in fact.”
Lisa felt like she was going to be sick. This was all too much. Eddy Zero. Cherry Hill. Dr. Blood-and-Bones returning from some extra-dimensional dead zone. And now their Jane Doe stalking the streets like some goddamn zombie. She didn’t want to believe this last bit—and she didn’t, not yet—but it was only a matter of time and she knew it.
“There must be some rational explanation.”
He ignored her. The subject was closed for the moment. “What did you do yesterday?” he inquired, a certain edge to his words.
“Nothing much.”
“What exactly?”
“Is this a formal inquiry?”
“It can be.”
She shifted herself up in bed. One of her arms was prickling, attempting to wake up. “I didn’t do anything, if you must know. I was here all day.”
“Nothing out of the ordinary happened?”
She wanted to choke him. “Nothing,” she said curtly.
He didn’t look satisfied. He looked, if anything, terribly suspicious, as if she weren’t the woman he professed to love, but a suspect. His eyes never lost contact with her own. Even when she closed them or looked away, he was watching, studying. She could feel his gaze burning into her.
“You’re in trouble, I know that much,” he said. “I love you, Lisa. Just tell me what it is.”
She shook her head. “You don’t love me, Mr. Fenn. You’ve slept with me, you love my face, my body … but not me. You don’t even know who or what I am. You can’t love someone you don’t even know. It’s not logical.”
He just stared at her, partly out of surprise, partly out of anger. “Since when does a man’s heart know anything of logic?” he asked her. His face, which moments before had been etched with compassion, concern, and understanding, now became a cold mask. “I guess I shouldn’t have said that. It was a waste of my time. You won’t hear it again.”
Lisa softened instantly. “Mr. Fenn,
Jim,
I—”
“I don’t want to hear it.”
She shut her mouth and hugged the blankets around herself. She felt like a child who was being scolded.
Fenn lit another cigarette. “Okay, now that the niceties are out of the way, let’s get down to business, Doctor.”
Something ugly was about to happen. She felt cold and helpless.
“Whether it was out of my feelings for you or just plain suspicion, I’ve been keeping tabs on you. No, you haven’t been followed. Not yet. But the hotel staff was more than happy to inform me of your comings and goings and any visitors you had.” He paused and dragged off his cigarette, fixing her with a steely glare. She felt like an insect impaled on a needle. “Up until today, nothing of interest came my way. But as I was coming in this morning, the night manager said he’d seen a man leaving yesterday morning. He didn’t remember admitting him, so he asked this man who he was and what he was doing here. The man said not to worry, he was a friend of yours.”
Lisa’s throat felt constricted. She could barely draw a breath.
“You know,” he said, “I’m just a dumb cop. I didn’t spend thirteen or fourteen years in college like you, but I’m a crafty bastard all the same. I thought to myself: Now who might this man be? I thought it might be Gulliver, but the manager said my description didn’t fit. So, on a crazy off chance, I showed him a photo of Eddy Zero. And guess what? He identified him positively.”
Lisa had never expected any of this. She was completely caught off-guard, lies tumbling through her brain with no string of logic to knot them together. He had her and he knew it. She hated the sinister, amused look on his face. It was probably the same detached cynicism he used on his criminals. She supposed, at the moment, that’s exactly what she was to him.
“You can start explaining any time now. I’m listening.”
She felt sweat trickle down her back. “What do you want me to say?”
“Don’t act like a dumb bitch, Doc. The truth and right now.”
Lisa looked him in the eye. “All right, he was here. Satisfied?”
“Very. Now tell me why.”
“He wanted to know why I was after him.”
Fenn laughed. “Oh, come on. Our Eddy’s a bright boy. He damn well knows
why
you’re after him. Tell me the truth. Were you gathering a bit of background for your fucking book or what? An interview or two? Let’s have it.”
“I told you what he wanted.”
Which was the same thing you wanted.
“And you’re lying, aren’t you?”
“Believe what you want,” she said. “I told you why he was here. Whether you believe that or not is up to you.”
He laughed again.
“That’s funny?”
“No, you are. You’re the shittiest liar I’ve ever come across and I’ve dealt with some dandies.” He started laughing again and then a grim silence suddenly fell over him. “You’re right, though, Doc. I don’t really know you. Maybe I did think I loved you, but I was wrong. No one loves a liar. Especially one that protects a killer.”
“I’m protecting no one.”
“You know, if you would have only told me about this or at least come clean, I might have had some respect for you. You didn’t have to love me, you just had to be my friend, to be honest with me. That’s all I asked.”
Lisa said nothing.
“Okay,” he said, “let’s try another angle here. The night manager is a young guy. He’s been pretty cooperative, I guess, for the most part. I had to pry one thing from him, though. I could see he was keeping something else from me, so I kept at him until he told me about your other visitor.”
Lisa waited. It was all she could do.
“He said she was beautiful, very sexy. Said her name was Cherry. Cherry Hill. Got anything to say about that?”
“Not much. She came here. She told me to stop looking for Eddy. That’s the truth. She said her peace and left.”
“I don’t believe you, Doc. I don’t know what the fuck you’re up to, but I’ll find out in time. I guarantee you that much. Cherry Hill’s another psycho. Just like Eddy Zero. There’s a connection here. Soames said I’d find out about him by starting with her. I think you know what that connection is. If you’re smart, you’ll tell me.”
“I don’t know.”
He shook his head. “Like hell you don’t. Your name keeps coming up here, Doc. You were at the nuthouse with Eddy and at the prison with Cherry. Now they’ve both visited you. I might be just a dumb cop, but I’d say you’re hiding something big from me.”
Lisa opened her mouth and shut it again.
“You’re in deep shit, Doc. Very deep shit.”
“Really?”
“If and when I tell my superiors about this, they’ll be under the assumption that you are an accomplice in a homicide investigation. They may want you charged with aiding and abetting a known fugitive. Regardless, once I tell them, your life won’t be your own. You’ll be under constant scrutiny.”
“So are you going to tell them?” she asked.
“In due time. I’ll let you take the day to think out these lies of yours. I’ll be back tonight for the truth. If I don’t get it, your ass is in a sling. Then you can do your lying from a jail cell. Are we clear on that?”
“Yes,” she replied.
“Oh,” he said, rising to leave. “Don’t try leaving town. It wouldn’t be
in your best interest.” “Am I being charged with something?” The sarcasm was thick in her voice. “No, but that can change without notice.” He left and she heard him slam the door. Her treachery and lies had bound her up good now. She supposed it was what she deserved. There was no more time now for planning and scheming. She had to act immediately. All she lacked was a plan. She dug out Dr. Zero’s little book and began to read, praying for divine inspiration.
Stadtler was walking aimlessly up the streets.
The nice man had cleaned him up, dressed him and sent him out into the world. The city was a beautiful place. Full of bright lights and music and many, many staring faces. So many people tried to help him, but he wouldn’t let them. He didn’t need their help. Not tonight. Not in this wonderful loud, pretty town. He loved it here. He almost felt like he should know every street, every corner and cubbyhole, but he didn’t. Not anymore.
He didn’t know who he was.
He didn’t know where he was.
He didn’t even know what he was.
But the nice man told him not to worry. He’d know in time. When things were right, he’d remember it all. The nice man said he’d put a special word in his mind and when he heard it, he’d remember everything.
But who cared?
It was so wonderful walking and walking.
So many things to see.
As he walked, he saw that a car was following him up the street. He stopped and smiled. He waved. A man got out of the car. He was big and strong and wore a lovely blue uniform. But he didn’t smile. There was a piece of metal on his coat. Shiny, silvery. It winked back light. Stadtler almost remembered something for a moment, something about shining, blinking light—
“What’s your name, pal?” the man asked.
“I can’t remember.”
The man still didn’t smile. “Give me your name.”
“I don’t have a name. Not yet—”
The man grabbed him and threw him up against the car. He was mean and rough and … brutal. Stadtler didn’t even know what that word meant.
Brutal.
What a strange word.