“That’s why I feel so strongly about this. Sass, you’re the daughter of my heart, so I need you to listen to me now.” He turned his attention to her, and she saw that his eyes were wet but fiery behind his thick glasses. “No matter what this Vitaliev person has done while he’s been on this earth—and from the sound of it, he’s done some terrible things—never forget that he did a beautiful thing when he gave you life. More than that, the moment he found out about you, he looked out for you and cared for you, the way a good father should look out for his child. No matter what kind of devil he might be, to you he’s been a benevolent and loving guardian angel. In fact, in recognizing that he’s a devil, he did his best to make sure you weren’t touched by what he is. Do you know how much love that must have taken for him to keep himself separate from you, his youngest daughter? His baby? Do you have any idea how much that must have devastated him to acknowledge that he was too toxic to be allowed into your clean world? I can’t imagine the pain of that.”
“That’s because you’re a good man, Pop, and you’re looking at it from that perspective,” Rude said, and his hand slipped from his father’s shoulder to grip his hand. “Borysko Vitaliev… he’s nothing like you. I mean,
nothing
like you. Because of that, I think you’re probably giving him more credit than he deserves.”
“Rudy, you don’t know what it is to be a father. Not yet. I swear it changes you. Your perspective on the world alters completely, because suddenly you’re looking at it through the lens of what you can do to make things better and safer for your children. It’s instinct. And right now that instinct for this Vitaliev guy is pumping even stronger, because he knows he’s running out of time to make the world a better place for his kids. Sass,” he went on, turning his attention back to her. “Do you want to meet your biological father?”
That one question arrowed right through the fatigue and confusion fogging her brain. It hit that tender spot deep inside, that place where the little girl she’d once been still lived and dreamed that someone, somewhere wanted her. “Yes. But—”
“No buts, kiddo. I know he sounds like a scary guy—I think he sounds scary, too. But this isn’t about you. Not really. It’s about doing the right thing for the man who gave you life, now that he’s at the end of his. So how about you give the guy one last chance to say hello, so that he can then say goodbye?”
The words hit at her hard, stirring up an ache that filled her all the way to her soul. From the moment Rude had told her that her biological father wanted to see her before he passed away, her thought process had been about what she might get out of it in terms of it being either an emotional benefit or detriment. Never once did she think about Borysko Vitaliev. And until that moment, it hadn’t occurred to her that just her hesitation in agreeing to meet with him was a form of rejection. A rejection, moreover, that she’d always felt she’d gotten from the mother who had abandoned her.
Nobody deserved a rejection like that.
No one.
“Okay,” she whispered as fear and hope went to war inside, with no end of hostilities in sight. “I’ll give him that chance. It might not be the smartest thing I’ve ever done, but I’m not about to let this one chance slip away forever.”
“It’s ridiculous how nervous I am.”
Behind the wheel of the SUV, Rude glanced over at Sass huddled in the passenger seat. The past twenty-four hours had been a wild rollercoaster ride, filled with anxiety and doubt, on both their parts. He still wasn’t convinced introducing Sass to the world in which Vitaliev lived was a good idea. Like Scorpio had said, her anonymity had kept her safe. But his father’s story had moved him as much as it had Sass. Because of that, he was willing to let Vitaliev get this one little glimpse of the daughter he’d never had a chance to know.
But only this one little glimpse.
The one thing he had absolutely refused to deal with was a third consecutive night of Sass not sleeping. This upheaval was wreaking havoc on her emotionally, mentally and now physically, so he’d decided it was time to do something about it.
At first things seemed somewhat under control. When they’d returned to the apartment, he’d turned on the TV to watch a football game while Sass went on a cooking binge in a clear attempt to keep from thinking about how she’d agreed to meet one of the most powerful men in organized crime. That was fine. She was even in his line of sight, so he could keep an eye on her without her knowing it. He allowed her to throw her energy into creating and then photographing honey-roasted baby carrots. And he didn’t say anything when she moved on to a vegan green bean casserole, and then the rich ciabatta and sausage stuffing his mother had taught her how to make.
But when she announced some time after midnight that she was going to brine a turkey, it was time to put his foot down.
And he did it by kissing the back of her neck.
He’d learned a lot about Sass during their time together. She liked sleeping on her right side while holding either a pillow or his arm to her chest. She sang in the shower. She was neat, but not enough to make him nuts, thank God. Despite being granted bathroom privileges, she was careful to ask him if he needed time in there before she started putting on her makeup and doing her hair. She really did like football, but was crazy about hockey, to the point of screaming at the TV when things didn’t go her way. She was thoughtful, funny and his favorite company to have around.
And one of her erogenous zones was the nape of her neck.
He’d discovered it on accident a couple mornings ago when they’d been getting ready to go out. She’d been digging through a drawer for a scarf when he came up and took advantage of her neck being exposed by the high ponytail she’s slicked her hair up into. Her response had been remarkable. From rushed and distracted, she’d instantly become putty in his hands.
Needless to say, that morning they’d left the apartment much later than originally planned.
Last night he’d discovered that her response to having her nape kissed hadn’t been a one-time deal. He’d pressed his lips against that golden-hued skin, then opened his mouth to draw wet, tasting circles over her nape with his tongue.
She’d sighed and dropped the large pot she’d no doubt been planning to brine the turkey in. It made an almighty bang, but she didn’t seem to even notice, as she was too busy grinding her backside into his swiftly rising cock.
What a woman.
“There’s approximately a shit-ton of things about you that drives me right over the fucking edge, Sassy,” he’d murmured against her skin as he rolled his hips with building urgency against her ass. “But the fact that you have an On button has got to be right up there in the top five of my all-time favorite things. You’re a goddamn treasure.”
“Shut up and fuck me,” she’d gritted out, reaching behind herself for his hips, even as she shoved her ass harder against his stiffened flesh. Then he’d lifted her skirt, ripped her panties off and undid his jeans just enough before he bent her over the counter, spread her legs wide and slid inside of her.
The sensation of her slick heat sheathing him, coupled with her whispering his name with every thrust had almost made him forget that he had a mission to complete. He’d reached around and rolled her clit beneath his stroking fingers while surging long and hard into her, filling her emptiness again and again until she came hard enough to cry out, her body lying full out on the counter while one leg curled around the outside of his. That was when he’d let the hold he had on his control sink into the intensifying waves of pleasure, and he came so hard his thrusts pushed her fully up onto the counter.
And only then did he realize he didn’t know if the cameras in her apartment were now off.
Wisely he hadn’t mentioned that to her, but he did relocate them into the bedroom as quickly as possible and set about exhausting her even further. Finally, after another hour of sticking to the mission, she fell into much-needed, peaceful sleep.
Even though he had exhausted himself in his quest to make her sleep, Rude had lain awake deep into the night with Sass curled into his side. He was a trained soldier who knew what to do when there was a defined enemy or threat. But how the hell was he supposed to protect Sass from biological ties? It was as fucked up as trying to wage war on the blood that flowed in her veins. It couldn’t be done.
In the end, as he’d drifted off just as the sky began to lighten in the east, the only conclusion he came to was that he’d take it one minute at a time. His only goal was to make sure that whatever waited for them at the end of this road trip didn’t crush her.
Now, as he kept his eyes on the road, he reached over her for her hand and brought it to his mouth. “It’s not every day you meet your father for the first time. He’s probably feeling the same way—wondering if you’ll think it’s cool he’s got an epic comb-over, maybe even praying that you’ll be able to understand what the fuck he’s saying despite his thick Russian accent.”
“Does he have an epic comb-over and a thick Russian accent?”
“No idea. I’m just guessing.”
Her chuckle lightened the tension like magic. Her next words brought it crashing back. “You’re too good to me, Rude. Here you are making me laugh, when all the crazy crap in my life has totally screwed up yours. I’m so sorry about that.”
“Goddamn it.” In a heartbeat he pulled over to the side of the twisting two-lane road heading into Barrington Hills, put the car in park and turned to face her. “Tell me you didn’t just say that.”
Her eyes widened. “What, that I’m sorry?”
“That bullshit about screwing up
my
life with
your
life.”
“It’s not bullshit if it’s true.”
Damn
it. She really couldn’t see the problem. “When I thought Scorpio was sniffing around because of something in my background, would you have been okay with me putting distance between us by me saying shit about
my
life and
your
life, and making sure they were kept separate?”
Understanding bloomed in her eyes. “Wait, Rude—”
“There is no
your life
and
my life
, Sass. Not anymore. Your problems, your worries, all the crap you carry around inside and think you can’t risk sharing it with me because you’re scared you’ll be too much trouble… baby, you can trust me with all of it.”
Her gasp was so shocked, so ragged, it told him more than she ever would that he’d hit a bull’s eye. “How do you…I’ve never told you that.”
“You never had to. I know you, but you don’t seem to know me. At least, not enough to know that I want
all
of you—the good and the bad. It’ll be safe with me, just as I know all of my bad shit’s going to be safe with you. I know this, because I trust you. And I know that I trust you, because I’ve already trashed the old way of thinking about it as
my life
, and I’ve gotten used to thinking of it as
our life
. Give it a try, see what happens.”
As he watched, a sheen of wetness glittered in her eyes, but her chin elevated, as if that alone would keep the tears from falling. “And what if this visit today is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to problems? What then?”
“Then we change our names and move to Canada. I hear they’re nicer up there and they finish every sentence with
eh
. Sounds like fun.”
“At least it won’t be boring.” A flash of humor lessened those tears she refused to let fall, and it was her turn to reach out and grasp his hand. “If we can get through today without anyone dying or at the very least regretting the day we ever met, I think we’ll have a fighting chance.”
“If that’s the case, I’ll declare Operation Sassy Pants a moderate success.” He cupped her chin to bring her mouth to his for a long, deep kiss. Then he let her go and looked over his shoulder at oncoming traffic. “Jury’s still out on whether or not it’ll be a complete one.”
“You and that Operation Sassy Pants of yours. What would be complete success in your book?”
“You’ll know it when we get there,” he promised and pulled back out onto the road.
The butterflies in Sass’s stomach were more like rabid pterodactyls bent on destroying her from the inside out. But the first sight of Borysko Vitaliev’s property was enough to make her forget all about them.
“Holy shit,” Rude muttered.
“I’ll second that and raise you a snarky comment about crime paying, after all. Is it too late to change careers?”
“I don’t know. Have I ever seen you in orange?”
“Good point. It’s really not my color. I’m more of a winter.” The spiked, black wrought iron gate leading into the property was impressive, as was the paved, tree-lined drive itself. As crimson leaves fell around them, they drove past a waterfall emptying out into a small pond with a fountain spray in the middle. It was perfect and so meticulously manicured she couldn’t help but wonder if they had the wrong place and were actually driving through some hoity-toity golf course. Then the house came into view around a graceful bend, and her jaw dropped as they rolled past a low wall outlining a circular driveway in front of the house’s main entrance.
Holy freaking crap.
Looming beyond the circular driveway was a sprawling, European-style Tudor mansion that wanted badly to be a castle, with its many turrets and steeply pitched rooflines. Within the drive’s cobblestone circle was a fountain, at the center of which stood a statue of the Three Muses, accented in what looked to be gold leaf. Manicured rose bushes lined the walkway leading to shallow stone steps, where more statues, also accented with gold leaf, stood on either side of the door.
In silence, Rude pulled the SUV up directly in front of the entrance and turned off the engine. Sass stared at the wooden doors, intricately carved to show some ancient battle that had people on horses and soldiers carrying bayonets. For a full second, she considered telling Rude to turn the engine over and hit the gas so they could hightail it out of there. Waterfalls and cobblestone driveways and freaking golden statues were way out of her league. The estate was a monument to greatness, and every inch of it was designed to intimidate and dominate, as well as house a family. In fact, the family aspect didn’t seem to be that much in evidence. She had a feeling this house hadn’t been built to raise a family in; instead it seemed to exist for the sole purpose of declaring that the owner had power. That the owner
was
power.
But what did power matter now that the owner was dying?
To famiglia. The most important thing in the world, and the one thing that makes a man rich beyond compare.
As she stared up at the imposing façade, she figured her foster father knew what the hell he was talking about.
With that in mind, she glanced over at Rude, who was looking singularly unimpressed. “So? What do you think?”
“I think it’d be in bad taste for me to say your biological pop’s probably got a dinky dick and is overcompensating in a big way, so I’m not gonna say it. But holy fuck, I’m thinking it.”
She burst out laughing just as the front door opened and Scorpio stepped out with a faint smile, again wearing a suit with a price tag that undoubtedly exceeded her monthly grocery bill by a wide margin.
“You’re in the right place,” he said, reading her mind and opening the door wider. “Come on in.”
As Rude pocketed the keys and came around to help her out of the SUV, Sass held on tight to his hand as they were led into a cavernous foyer complete with marble columns, a sparkling crystal chandelier and a grand piano. When Rude had contacted Scorpio to set up this meeting, he’d made it plain that she wasn’t going anywhere without him, and at that moment a vivid rush of gratitude at his foresight hit her hard. She wasn’t sure she’d have the courage to face her biological father without Rude’s support. Having his rock-solid, unshakable strength beside her made her feel like she could get through anything.
Even this.
“About six months ago, the old man had the sunroom renovated to look more like the solarium at that place you and your friends hit, what’s it called…Secret Garden.” As he spoke, Scorpio led them past a large gathering room flanked on either end by massive fireplaces, and an atrium with an indoor waterfall. “He must’ve liked the look of it.”
“Did he, now?” Walking a pace or two behind Scorpio, Rude’s expression was cool and calm, but for some reason it made her blood run cold. “Took a lot of pictures of Sass to show your boss, did you?”