House of Cards (5 page)

Though Sanjay did not show it, he was happy with this new assignment and unexpected opportunity. He had resigned himself to the fact that he would never meet Mridula again. When he reached Karnataka Sangha, he found that Mridula was very sick—she looked like a faded white lotus of the Aladahalli lake. Sanjay asked her, ‘What’s this, Mridula? Have you come to Bombay to fall sick?’

Mridula replied in pain, ‘Sickness is independent of where you are. Food is the actual cause.’

All her colleagues had come back from their day trip and were concerned. They wanted Mridula to go with Sanjay, so that she could get good care and treatment. Principal Hiremath
consoled her, ‘Mridula, don’t worry. We’ll be back in Bombay after ten days. By then, you’ll be all right and you can join us. If you are in a doctor’s care, then we won’t worry. I can talk to your father if you like.’

So Mridula had no other choice. Sanjay brought her to the hospital. The ground floor was the maternity ward and the first floor was the women’s ward. Mridula was given one of the special rooms reserved only for doctors and their recommended patients.

Sanjay was busy looking at Mridula’s medical papers when Alex ran into him. ‘Sanjay, why aren’t you in OPD on this busy day?’

‘There’s a special case.’

‘Why are you standing outside the women’s ward? Is the patient in the special case a girl?’ Alex smelt a rat.

Sanjay blushed, ‘Yes, the patient is a girl. I met her at the wedding in Hubli.’

‘Not bad. At least, you lost something in Hubli.’

‘What’s that?’

‘The most precious thing for a young bachelor like you—your heart. I wish you all the best.’

Alex smiled, put a hand to his heart and walked away.

Mridula was on saline for the next few days; after that, she was back to her usual self. She did not call her parents because she knew that they would worry about her. Now, she had to wait for her group to come back. So she moved to the women’s hostel and Sanjay became her only visitor.

‘You missed seeing the Elephanta Caves in Bombay with your group because of your illness. I have a holiday tomorrow. May I take you there?’ Sanjay surprised himself by making the first move. He hid the fact that he was taking leave just to take her out.

Mridula felt shy and yet, she wanted to go with him. She asked, ‘Do you think Doctor Uncle will mind if I go with you?’

‘No, you don’t have to take his permission.’

It was the first time that Mridula was going out with a man. They went to the Gateway of India since the motor boat started from there. While they were waiting to get into the boat, Mridula looked around. She found this city very different. Everyone was doing something or the other. Not an inch of land was wasted here. When their turn came to get into the boat, Sanjay stretched out both his hands to help her step on board. At that moment, Mridula realized that one of his arms was shorter than the other. Sanjay saw that Mridula had noticed his deformity and felt awkward. But Mridula did not say or ask anything.

The boat started moving towards Elephanta Island. It was full of young lovers, families and college students. One of the bench seats on the boat was not fitted properly. The equipment to fix the seat was available but the boat assistant was unable to do so. The passengers who had paid for the seat were upset and were arguing with the helpless assistant. When Sanjay saw what was happening, he asked for the toolkit and repaired the seat in ten minutes. The assistant was grateful and started talking to Sanjay. ‘Sir, our owner doesn’t hire any carpenters because of their high labour cost and I don’t have any training at all. So customers get upset with me. You are a good mechanic, sir. I’m fortunate that you came today. Thank you so much.’

Sanjay did not reply.

After an hour, the boat reached Elephanta Island. All the visitors were excited. Very few people went to actually see the caves. While walking from the seashore to the caves, Sanjay was unusually quiet. Mridula said, ‘Did you notice that the helper thought that you were a mechanic? I wanted to tell him that you are a doctor.’

‘Yes. Well, a doctor is also a mechanic—of the human body.’

‘That’s true.’

‘In our hospital, if any medical equipment doesn’t work, they call me. I like to repair things.’

‘Then why didn’t you pursue engineering?’

‘There was a reason.’ Sanjay became silent and did not say any more.

A short walk later, they reached the caves. There were huge statues carved in the temple wall. It was beautiful. But Mridula was thinking about Sanjay. ‘Let Sanjay answer my question in his own time. I don’t want to get details about his personal life by forcing him to answer.’

Outside, there were some restaurants, and hawkers selling picture postcards, film rolls, instant photos and T-shirts. It seemed to be a popular picnic spot and not just a place of archaeological interest. Sanjay and Mridula decided to have tea in one of the restaurants. While sipping tea, Sanjay started talking: ‘When I was a child, I was normal just like anybody else. At the age of four or five, I climbed a tree. I don’t remember this incident at all. My parents told me that I fell down from the tree and became unconscious. My father was the village medical practitioner and he never took money from his patients. But he didn’t have any formal education. He prepared medicines at home. So he gave me a home-made remedy, but my arm wasn’t set properly. Later, my mother took me to a big hospital and showed it to an orthopaedic surgeon. But it was too late. I had to have surgery. In that process, my arm became a little shorter.’

Hesitantly, Mridula asked, ‘Do you have any problem with that hand?’

‘No, I don’t. It hurts only if I use it too much or lift heavy things. But I feel like the odd man out in any crowd.’

Mridula felt his pain and did not know what to say. Sanjay continued, ‘When I had this problem, my mother gave me the courage to face it. She believed that I could be a good doctor despite my defect. She was my strength. My mother is responsible for what I am today.’

Sanjay became nostalgic. His mother, Ratnamma, was a petty moneylender. She loved money and finance. He had told
her many times that he did not like her line of work but she said that she enjoyed it. She was right. Everybody should do what he or she enjoyed!

As Sanjay went down memory lane, he recalled that during the PT period in his school, the teacher would ask the students to stretch out their hands. All his classmates would make fun of him then. Sanjay would get upset and chase after them. When he could not catch them, he would go home and cry. Ratnamma would pacify him and say encouragingly, ‘Child, this was God’s decision. Who knows? One day, you may rule the world with this crippled hand!’

‘But you didn’t answer my question,’ Mridula reminded him.

‘Yes. I went to the hospital many times because of my hand. The doctors there helped me. So I also wanted to become a doctor. My father had three sisters and my mother had two. Since most of them died in childbirth, I thought about becoming a gynaecologist, even though I know that most women prefer female doctors.’

They finished drinking their tea and took the next boat back to the mainland.

For the next few days, Sanjay worked for half a day, and then he took Mridula out in the evenings. The days passed quickly and Mridula’s last day in Bombay came along. Her group arrived from Nagpur and Mridula planned to join them at the railway station. From there, the group was going to Kolhapur and then to Hubli.

Mridula started packing her bags and decided to wait for Sanjay at the women’s hostel. She liked to wait for him. She recalled that when she was admitted in the hospital and was given saline, Sanjay had stayed the whole night with her so that she would not feel alone in a strange city. She had felt shy at the time because she barely knew this young man. Still, she felt an attraction towards him and wondered whether she would see him again after today.

Sanjay was unable to concentrate on his work that day. He could not stop thinking about Mridula. He felt like he had known her forever. He had met her for the first time when it was raining in the dark and had caught her hand in Hubli. But the attraction was the same even in Bombay. It had not faded. He had seen beautiful and innocent girls in the movies and read about them in books, but it was difficult to meet such girls in real life. Sanjay felt lucky to know Mridula.

He thought to himself, ‘After she leaves today, when will I see her again? I know that whoever marries Mridula will be fortunate. Usually, people comment on my short arm and question me. Shamelessly, they ask me whether it is hereditary or a birth defect. It makes me feel inferior. But Mridula didn’t ask me about it and didn’t treat me differently after she learnt about my accident. I’ve met her parents and seen her home. I know that her family is content, not pretentious or money-hungry. In a marriage, if the wife is ambitious, then a simple person like me will suffer. Why can’t I be that fortunate person who marries her? We both belong to the same community and speak the same language. She is intelligent and both of us can adjust quickly if we get married. But no, I may not be good enough for her. She belongs to a well-to-do family and she might think of me only as a good friend. She may not have even thought of marriage. Maybe she likes someone else. Or her parents might want her to get married somewhere else. What if she herself says “no”? Do I have the capacity to bear rejection?’

For a minute, he was scared. Then he remembered Alex’s words: ‘No Indian girl will make the first move. That has to come from the boy. He has to ask the girl and the worst case is that she will say “no”.’

‘How do you know whether a girl will say “yes” or “no”?’

‘If the girl wants to say “yes”, she won’t agree immediately. She may say that I’ll let you know or I’ll talk to my father. If you get that answer, you know that she will say “yes”. The girl
who wants to say “no” will tie a rakhi on your hand before you can even propose to her. She will publicly declare that you are like her brother. Some bold girl may even slap you. It is rare but you should be ready. Haven’t you heard the famous song
Pyaar kiya to darna kya
from the movie
Mughal-e-Azam
? It means that you should love a girl only if you have the courage to do so. Otherwise, you should have an arranged marriage—your parents and you should see the girl together and make the decision in five minutes.’

Sanjay was hesitant to express his love to Mridula but he did not have a choice. He remembered Mridula’s floral hairband. It was difficult for him to express his love through words. The hairband gave him a reason to write a letter to her. But now, he had an even bigger problem: he did not know how to write a love letter. He had no experience in this area. The twenty-five-year-old Sanjay struggled like a teenager writing his first love letter.

Dear Mridula,

You may be surprised to see my letter. I am not a great writer and this is my first letter to any girl. I like you a lot. What you see is what I am. I don’t want to lie to you. I come from a poor family. We have some land but I don’t have any other assets. I don’t have a father. My sister is already married. I am not equal to you in terms of looks or money. You already know about my hand. But I am hard-working and honest. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If you feel the same way about me, then write back. Otherwise, destroy this letter and forget about it.

Sanjay

He read the letter again and again but did not know what else to write. So he put her hairband and the letter inside an envelope and sealed it.

Sanjay picked Mridula up from the women’s hostel and took her to VT station. The group was waiting for her there. Mridula joined them and sat at the train window to say goodbye to Sanjay. The engine whistled and signalled that the train was about to leave. Sanjay gave the envelope to Mridula with hesitation. In a low voice, he said, ‘This is important, Mridula.’

‘What’s this?’

But by then, the train had left the station and Sanjay was left standing on the platform, waving nervously.

5

Reflections

Sanjay came back to his room and wondered whether he had done the right thing. Maybe he should have faced her in person, expressed his feelings and said, ‘Mridula, I love you.’ That may have been far more effective than a letter. But he knew that that would have been much harder for him.

He wondered, ‘Would she have read my letter by now? What will she think? She can definitely find someone better than me. She is good-looking and an idealist. She has never seen poverty in her life. In fact, she has not seen the competitive world outside Aladahalli. Why should she marry me? After all, I am handicapped. My mother has a small moneylending business. How can I expect Mridula’s family to give their daughter to me?’

Still, he was hopeful. Bheemanna was talkative but not worldly-wise. Mridula was academically brilliant but not street-
smart like his sister, Lakshmi. So they might agree. Sanjay was unable to eat his dinner. He lay down but sleep was a thousand miles away.