Hothouse Flower (5 page)

Lily looks at Rose like
really?

“You give better hugs than I do. I know my weaknesses.” Rose
raises her chin at me. “But really, are you okay?”

I shrug. “Yeah.” They think I have this massive crush on
Ryke
, and while I do like him, I understand more than
anyone what we can and cannot do. I’ve accepted that reality for so long that
the fantasy is always
us
being
together.

I skip towards them and wrap my arms around their shoulders.
“Thank you for the decorations, by the way. They’re beautiful.”

They both smile when I do.

That lights up any black spots that dotted my heart. But
it’s not enough to take away the panic that I’ll feel come nighttime. Sometimes
I wish it could be daylight forever. I wish that I could be with these five
people and never have to face the world alone.

But Paris is my test.

I want to pass, but a part of me wonders if it’s even
possible to be that fearless girl again. Maybe too much has changed to go back.

< 7 >

DAISY CALLOWAY

I wash the dishes after dinner, offering since
Connor and Lo cooked. Everyone just acted like nothing happened in the garage,
which was as expected. This wasn’t the first time I’ve been too close to
Ryke
in front of them.

It’s an exhausting fight and one that’s strangely become
predictable.

Ryke
enters the kitchen, everyone
else in the living room. I look up, expecting another body passing through the
archway. “They know why I’m here,” he says off my lingering gaze.

I frown. “You’re going to help me wash dishes?”

He grabs a bowl from the cupboard. “No. We all watched you
push your fucking eggs around for thirty minutes.” He picks out granola cereal
from another cabinet, his favorite brand. I’m sure he left a box here after
early morning runs at
Lo’s
house.

“I ate the fruit,” I tell him. Fashion Week is coming up. I
want to eat more than anyone. I just have a lot of self-control.

He opens the fridge for the milk. “Fucking fantastic,” he
says to me. “Now I’m really at ease.”

“I also tried the bacon.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Okay, I didn’t eat the bacon, but I wanted to.” I put the
last plate into the dishwasher and then climb up on the counter. He makes the
cereal beside me.

“You know what I fucking learned today?” he says, his
features really dark. “Rose just told Connor, my brother, and me that you have
irregular periods because of your weight.”

Oh God.
I groan.
“She did not tell you guys that.” Sometimes Rose being overly open is a bad
thing. When it comes to
her
private
life, she’s a mouse. Or at least, she used to be.

“Yeah, she fucking did.”

I didn’t want her to share that info with
anyone
but Lily and maybe Poppy, our
oldest sis. “It’s only like that when I—”

“Starve yourself,” he deadpans. Then he shakes his head. “You
can’t eat, you can’t sleep…”

I smile wide at his words because I instantly recall a quote
from a movie. I can’t help it. I recite the lines, “
It's got to be that can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars,
over-the-fence, World Series kind of stuff.
” Then I pause, waiting for his
ah-ha moment. He just looks confused. “
It
Takes Two.
” It doesn’t ring a bell for him. “A Mary Kate and Ashley movie. They
were describing love.”

His eyebrows rise. “Funny. But love isn’t causing you these
problems.”

“How do you know?” I ask.

He extends his arms. “I’m sorry, where are all the guys
you’ve been dating while I’ve been sleeping in your fucking bed?”

“I could be in love with
you
.”
I throw out this line, wondering if he’ll reel me in, but he just gives me a
hard stare.

“Are you?” he taunts back, not stepping down from this.

He puts me on the defensive. I want to say yes. But am I in
love with
Ryke
? How do I know? “I’m not sure.”

“Well, be damn fucking sure about this,”
Ryke
says, “any love that
I
fucking give
will never hurt a woman.” He passes the bowl to me, cold in my hands. “Eat your
cereal.”

Seriousness blankets the kitchen once more. “You heard my
mom this morning.” She bruised my hip she pinched my skin so hard.

“Yeah.” His eyebrows rise. “Fuck your mom.”

“Hey,” I snap.

“Hey what? She’s nothing but cruel to Lily. She fights with
Rose constantly. And she treats you like you’re a little fucking doll she likes
to dress up and show off. It drives me
fucking
nuts watching you do things you hate just to please other people.”

I’m not a fan of modeling, not when I have to stand still
for so long. I just get restless. So I can’t argue against his point. “It’s
different when peoples’ careers are on the line. Fashion designers and agents
are counting on me. If I can’t fit into the clothes, then I’m not just
disappointing myself but I’m hurting them.”

I search his eyes, but all I see is that familiar stone that
Lily talks about. She says his brother is ice. All sharp. But
Ryke
, he’s like the rocks he climbs—just hard.

“Don’t be a fucking mannequin.”

“I’m not.”

“Really? Because I see a girl who has another person’s
thoughts, another person’s desires and dreams.”

“I think that’s a puppet.”

“Don’t be a fucking puppet then.”

My eyes fall to the cereal. I’ve heard him speak with this
conviction before, but this time, it barrels into me like the biggest truth of
all. “Maybe after Fashion Week, I’ll tell her how I feel again.” Maybe I can
finally stand up to my mom. “Why are you so passionate about this anyway?” I
ask, expecting him to say something like
because
I care about you.

Instead he says, “I’ve been there with my own mother. It’s
not fucking fun.”

He hardly talks about Sara Hale, mostly because of what
happened a couple years ago. Mostly because she changed all of our lives. And
I’m not sure it was all for the better.

“Eat your fucking cereal,” he says roughly.

I do. Four
spoonfuls
later,
Ryke
looks pleased. I like when he’s satisfied. I like when
I do right by all people, but it’s just hard when my mom stands at one end and
my sisters,
Ryke
, Connor and Lo stand at the other.

They outnumber her, but my mom raised me. Isn’t that a trump
card?

He watches me eat, making sure that I’m not fibbing. “This
cereal sucks,” I tell him on the tenth bite.

“It’s healthy, but if you want chocolate, there’s ice cream
in the freezer.”

I practically moan. “Don’t tempt me.”

He almost smiles. “After Fashion Week, you promise you’ll
talk to her?”

I nod. “Yeah, yeah.”

“Don’t yeah me twice,” he retorts.

“Why, because it’s redundant?”

He leans close, his arms on either side of the counter, on
either side of
me.
“Because it sounds
fake, sweetheart.”

“So if I moan twice—”

He covers my mouth with his large hand, enveloping my cheeks
and jaw. “Don’t go there, not tonight.”

I do ride that line a little too much. We tempt and tease
each other with knowledge that nothing more can happen. It’s our dynamic.

I finish off most of the cereal, leaving the soggy clumps of
granola floating in the milk. “I’m sorry about the garage. I pushed you too
far.” I set down the bowl and hop off the counter. He’s right there, not moving
from this spot. His hands still on the counter.

I’m closer to him than before.

“No you didn’t,” he says. “If I fucking wanted to be with
you like that, I would have by now. You’ve been eighteen for six months.”

This shouldn’t hurt, but his words knot my stomach, the
granola rising to my throat. I swallow it back down. I think
wanting
is a little different than
doing. I thought he wanted to like me, but he knew he couldn’t. But that’s not
right. He’s never really expressed any attraction towards me. We flirt
sometimes, but he’s never gotten hard or aroused by me.

At least not that I’ve seen.

I want to test it.

I shouldn’t, but I’m curious. I don’t know how else to see
if he shares the same attraction. He doesn’t show it in his eyes the way I do.

He’s close enough that all I have to do is wrap my arms
around his chest for a hug. He’s my wolf, and I seriously wonder if he’ll bite
me today. I don’t think twice. I hug him, and his body goes rigid. I look up,
neither of us retracting.

“Daisy…”

My long legs touch his strong ones. My hip bones press into
his pelvis, a little shorter than him since he’s six-three to my five-eleven. I
become keenly aware of his flexed muscles and dark eyes that set on me. It’s an
R-rated hug, if there can be one. And yet, he’s not hard. He’s just tense, like
he’s waiting for me to draw away.

Instead of hugging me back, he sets a single hand on my
head, hesitating.

I sigh. Well that test was inconclusive. “Thanks,” I say.
That single word relaxes his muscles. “I’m glad we can be non-fucking friends.”
It’s better than nothing.

His dark eyes dance over my features. He stays quiet for a
long time, both of us unmoving from this position. It’s dangerous to be like
this after the garage incident, but I think we’re equally attracted to that
danger.

His thumb grazes my cheek. “You look fucking exhausted.”

“I napped.”

“You don’t fucking nap,” he says.

“I shut my eyes this afternoon. What do you call that?”

“Shutting your fucking eyes,” he deadpans.

A smile breaks through my face. I laugh, and then I lean
forward and rest my cheek against his chest. I close my eyes, and his body
stiffens again. He’s warm. I listen to the faint sound of his heart for a
second, and I swear it speeds. But maybe that’s just mean
hoping
that I have some sort of effect on
Ryke
Meadows.

“What are you doing?” he asks roughly. His hands return to
my head, making me realize that I’m smaller than him. It’s hard finding guys
taller than me, which is why I’ve gravitated towards models in the past.

“Sleeping,” I say with a smile.

“When did I become your fucking pillow?” he asks lightly.

“
Shhh
,” I whisper, “it’s safe
here.”

Just when I anticipate
Ryke
drawing away from me, he surprises me and kisses the top of my head. But it
lasts only a second before his hands fall. His brows scrunch as he glares at
something over my shoulder. I turn my head and follow his gaze, spotting a
Celebrity Crush
magazine by the coffee
pot.

“Who still buys that garbage?”

“Lily,” I say. “I think my sister’s hoping people will
forget about our family.”

“She’s dreaming.”
Ryke
leaves my
side to grab the magazine. He flips through it quickly, and I catch the main
headline on the front cover before he trashes it.
Photo! Lily Calloway Dating Her Fiancé and His Brother.

“What’s the photo of?” I ask curiously, rinsing the cereal
bowl.
 

“The three of us eating lunch at
Lucky’s
downtown. The press can keep saying I’m banging your fucking sister, but we all
know it’s a load of—”

“Shit,” I finish. “Bullshit.” I mock gasp. “
Fucking
bullshit.”

He stares at me with harshness that would intimidate most
people. But I don’t back down. My eyes stay locked on his piercing ones, and
then his lips slowly rise. “When did your mouth get so fucking dirty,
Calloway?” he asks.

“The moment I became friends with you.”

“Good on me then,” he says, messing my hair with a rough
hand. “I’m tailing you when we leave, by the way.”

“You’re supposed to be my pillow, not my bodyguard,” I
remind him. “I already have one of those.” His name is
Mikey
Black. He’s in his forties and used to be a physical trainer in California.
Unlike Lily’s bodyguard who’s a bit beefy and wears oversized suits, mine likes
to dress in Bermuda shorts in the winter and cut-off shirts. He’s pretty cool.

“He can’t keep up with you,”
Ryke
says, sidling next to me. He watches as I stick the bowl into the dishwasher.

“He taught me how to surf this summer,” I refute.

“He only rides Harleys, and they can’t go as fucking fast as
your
sportbike
. I’ve never seen him pass a
paparazzi’s car when he’s with you.” That’s true. I end up being flocked by
SUVs. Like tonight. I tried to outmaneuver them, but they sped up behind me,
forcing me to go a little faster. And
Mikey
was lost
somewhere with my shift from eighty miles per hour to a hundred-and-five on the
interstate.

“He smells like salt water and candy,” I tell him. “Sometimes
even cupcakes.”

Ryke
gives me a blank stare.

“Those are selling points,” I say.

“Not for me.”

“There’s
nothing
better
than cupcakes, except maybe
chocolate
cake, but that’s still in the cupcake family.”

“Sex,” he says. “Sex is better than chocolate.” He always
tells me this.

“Not for me,” I use his exact words.

His eyes descend to my lips. I swear they do this time. But
it happens so quickly. Maybe it was just me wanting it badly again… I don’t
know why I torture myself. It’s not like we can act on anything, even if he
does admit to liking me as more than just non-fucking friends.

I let the moment go. Like I always do. “What makes you think
that you can keep up with me more than
Mikey
?” I ask.

He leans close again. “Because,” he says, “I’m the one who
taught you how to ride a motorcycle.”

I smile. Yes he did.