Authors: Sheila Horgan
There was one other surprise. AJ. He showed up and sat in the very back. He didn’t go to the cemetery or the wake, but he did make a respectful appearance, wearing an expensively cut navy suit with a beautiful green tie. I wonder if that was his nod to Ireland.
In any case, I was both surprised and very touched. I might have even swooned if my mind hadn’t immediately jumped to how in the name of all that is Holy I was going to explain him to my mother. Liam, bless his skinny little butt, took care of that for me. Unfortunately he didn’t have the decency to let me know, so I came close to stepping in it when my mother brought up the subject. I almost stepped in it knee deep, I might add. I try to avoid things like that, and a little information now and then, from my overly involved brothers and sisters, just a head’s up, would help. A lot.
I was in the kitchen at the house when Mom walked up and said something on the order of, "Wasn’t it lovely to see so many young people at the service? I thought that very few would show at all. Love, imagine my surprise when I saw that beautiful young man at the back, looking right through the back of your skull, willing you to turn and see him.”
I’m proud to point out that I didn’t drop the potatoes I was draining. It’s unfair of a mother, especially an Irish mother, who knows what it’s like to heft ten pounds of potatoes, plus boiling water, to the sink, in a pot large enough to rightly be referred to as a cauldron.
Of course, while you’re draining the stupid things, the steam goes everywhere and completely ruins your hairstyle if you aren’t careful, not to mention the whole scalding thing, which almost never happens, but it could happen, and how would she feel? Isn’t that what Catholic guilt is all about? You would think every once in a while the whole guilt thing would work in my direction instead of Mom’s. I’m still waiting for that to happen.
When the steam cleared, I managed, “Beautiful guy?”
“Yes, Liam tells me his name is AJ, and that he was with you.”
“Oh? Liam seems to be full of all the latest gossip, but unfortunately, he’s been known to get his facts wrong. What else did he tell you?”
“Just that he is a computer specialist and that he is helping you set up the website for your new business adventure. Did you see the suit on that boy? Must have cost a small fortune. He must charge a pretty penny for his services.”
Mom gave me the mother look, coaxing my mouth to betray my brain. When I didn’t say anything, she continued, “I must say Love, hiring someone of that caliber must have been quite dear. Are you sure you want to be spending that kind of money when you aren’t sure what it is you’ll end up with at the end of this project?”
I thought about saying he wasn’t charging me, he was a friend, but then I’d have to explain the relationship. I thought about saying that I wasn’t paying him, we were doing a barter thing and trading talents, but then Mom would ask just what talent I was trading, and since I didn’t have clarification on that one yet myself, I decided to go with something more benign. “I’ve got it under control Mom. No need to worry. Once I get these potatoes mashed, what would you like me to do?”
“I’ll just go walk along the tables and see what we need to refill. I can’t believe the number of people that have come today. I couldn’t be more pleased. It’s true what they say. You reap what you sew. Bernie was a very generous soul, and she’ll be well remembered.”
“Well Mom, if the number of people that come to your wake is a sign of how generous you were on earth, we’d better start planning for you and Daddy now. We’ll be overrun.”
“Thank you Love, but I’m hoping not to find out about that any time soon.” With that, she walked off to inspect the foods she had spread from one end of the house to the other.
I took my first real breath since the whole subject of AJ had come up.
Running the whole thing through my wee little head again, I did a mental head slap. Real cool Cara. Mention her own demise to the most superstitious person you know. Mom.
By the time we were done serving the food, and accepting condolences, and wrapping up what little leftovers there were, I was exhausted. Between quitting my job, trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up, then the whole thing with AJ and my mini war with Teagan. Then losing Bernie and all the effort it was to do right by her, I was pooped.
I decided I was about ready for hibernation.
Mom just looked sad. Watching her suffer was the most exhausting part of everything.
The immediate family stayed for one last cup of tea, then Mom shooed us out and invited us to come back for food the next day, if we were so inclined. That’s how an Irish mother frames a command performance. We’d all be there. Guaranteed.
Walking out to the car, I asked Teagan why Jessie hadn’t shown up. She looked at me as if I had two heads.
“He was there Cara. He was sitting two rows back from you. He was wearing black linen slacks and a black guayaberas shirt.”
“A who, what?”
“A guayaberas shirt. Mexican wedding shirt? You know the shirts everyone in Miami wears.”
“Oh, sorry. Let me think.” I tried to do a mental scan of the church. “Oh my God. That guy that was sitting right behind Mrs. Tolliver?”
“Yep.”
“Damn Teagan, Jessie grew up really good.”
“You have no idea.”
We laughed, walking toward the end of the block where we’d parked early in the day.
I shook my head, “I can’t believe that was Jessie. I didn’t even recognize him. He’s really filled out. His legs used to be as big around as my arm. Now he’s all muscles and dark wavy hair. He sure grew into himself. He’s gorgeous. Did Mom see him?”
“She not only saw him, she came up and gave him a hug, said it was great to see him again, and hoped that she would see him at dinner some time soon.”
I whispered, “Oh shit!”
“That’s what I thought. I’m thinkin’ that maybe Mom knew that Jessie was not quite as light on his feet as I’d hoped she’d believed.”
I said in a conspiratorial voice, just in case there were neighbors listening that could report back, “She saw AJ at the service. She said Liam told her he was helping me to build a website, which, technically, is true. Wonder how much of her psychic abilities have kicked in on that one.”
Teagan stopped and turned toward me, she even grabbed my arm to make sure I understood the gravity of what she was about to say, “You know Cara, I’m not even sure that Mom is psychic at all. If she knew all that we did when we were younger, she’d have killed us for sure. I think a lot of that was just BS to scare the shit out of us when we were little kids, or more importantly, when we were teens, and God knows, to this very day.”
Teagan’s cell phone rang just as she finished her proclamation. She looked at the caller ID and mouthed, ‘Mom.’
I only heard her side of the conversation.
“Okay.” She looked at me with huge eyes. “Okay.” Her eyes got even bigger. “I will. Love you too. Good night Mom.”
She turned to me and said, “That was Mom.”
“Yeah, I got that.”
Teagan looked a little faint. She said, “Mom said not to knock what we don’t understand. She then said that she’d like to talk to both of us. To make a time when we are both available.”
“Oh shit, that’s not good!”
Teagan trotted toward her car, “I’m out of here before she levitates her butt down the street and goes all voodoo on us.”
With that we jumped in our respective vehicles, and tried not to speed away.
When I walked into the apartment, it smelled of something lovely and citrus-y. I love the smell of lemon. If a man wants to have his way with me, he can dab a little Mr. Clean behind each ear, and I’m all his. I was smiling to myself, when who should appear, but Mr. AJ himself. He was barefoot, wearing jeans and a forest green t-shirt. He appeared to be fresh out of the shower.
On the one hand, I love the fact that he is as shower obsessed as I am. It’s not at all uncommon for me to take multiple showers in a day. Florida can make you wilt. I’ve never understood Florida as a honeymoon destination, you’d have to spend all your time indoors, if you walk out of your room in the middle of June, you’re liable to faint. Duh. I’m an idiot! Who would need an excuse not to leave the room on their honeymoon?
I guess I just see it as rather old fashioned to spend your whole honeymoon having sex. I can understand if you’ve chosen to wait until marriage, but then, I don’t understand that either. What if you just aren’t good together? I guess if you’ve never been with anyone else, you assume that what you have is fabulous, even if it’s a three and not a nine on the Richter scale.
I want to find someone that I can be a nine with when I’m tired, and a twenty-two with when I’m rested. I understand that those kinds of passionate relationships are the stuff that movies and women’s books are made of, and everyone says that it fades with time, or burns out from the heat of the fire, but dammit, my parents still chase each other around and they’ve spent a lifetime together and raised eight kids. I want that.
Well, not the eight kids part, but the passion part, that’s the part I want.
Anyway, back to showers, I take such fast showers, my water consumption is probably no worse than the average female. The fact that himself takes three showers a day, might not only put our water bill through the ceiling, but could put a dent in the whole aquifer system.
I was thinking about the fact that it was probably my civic duty to jump in the shower with AJ, purely as a conservation measure, when he suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me out the front door.
Strange.
No one has ever done that to me before. As far as I could tell, nothing was on fire. No intruders.
He pulled me down the corridor, past my neighbor’s big blue balls welcome mat, to the water retention pond in the back of my building. It’s really quite lovely with huge trees all around, birds making bird noises, and a lovely view for the apartments that face that direction. Of course, those residents get charged more than the ones facing the parking lot, so I have a parking lot facing apartment, but that seems somewhat unimportant when you’re being dragged along, and as I reminded myself, it might be a good time to actually pay attention to the here and now and not let my mind wander. I tend to do that whenever I’m under stress. Good stress. Bad stress. Doesn’t matter.
When we got to the edge of the water retention pond, I noticed three mid sized turtles swimming along. There was also a mom and dad duck and three little ducks, those weird ones with the little Mohawk on the top of their heads. The babies are really cute though.