Hot in Here (30 page)

“I admit it,” Jenna said, holding up her hand, “I did have boys up here. But it’s not like anything went on.”

“Oh,please !” Sarah teased. “What about when I caught you and Bryce up here drinking?”

Jenna smiled at the memory of Bryce puking in a bucket as she held on to him, fearing he’d fall right out

of the hayloft and down onto the baler below. He had been so drunk and unsteady on his feet. When he

tried to stand up, he fell backward, landing on top of her. He grinned then and said, in a drunken slur, “I

love ya, Jen.”

It seemed like a lifetime ago. Yet the memories were still fresh, and the pain still raw.

Bryce didn’t love her. Despite what Sarah said, he’d used her as a way to get his reputation back. But

then, hadn’t she used him, too?

“I had my first kiss in this hayloft,” Sarah said on a wistful sigh as she looked around the rafters. “I still

remember it like it was yesterday. I thought I was going to die, it was so perfect.”

“Who are you kidding, Sarah? You’re still getting kissed in the hayloft,” Emily taunted.

Sarah glared at their baby sister. “You are far too nosy—you know that, Em?”

“Hey, that’s what little sisters are for. Spying and tattling.”

“Yeah, tattling is right. Remember how you ran and told Mom that we were smoking up here?”

“Well, at least I told them it was cigarettes. I could have told them it was pot.”

Sarah and Jenna both burst into a fit of laugher. “Do you remember that afternoon? Oh, God, you were

green, Jen.”

Jenna laughed, recalling her first and last time experimenting with anything other than cherry whiskey and

cola. “Who brought it up here, anyway?”

“Trey,” Sarah sneered. “Who else? He was always the one with the booze and the pot and the dirty

magazines.”

“Oh, I forgot about those.” Jenna smiled. “Remember how scandalized we were looking at those pictures

of couples ‘doing it’?”

“I remember. You were so embarrassed but you couldn’t look away. Bryce was laughing at you.”

“Well, I remember you blushing and covering your face when we turned the page to that centerfold of the

naked guy with his package in his hand.”

Sarah made a face, then laughed. “I was nearly a year younger than you. I wasn’t ready for something so

. . . so graphic.”

“See, you guys always got the fun. By the time I was old enough for any of that, Jenna was away at

school, and Sarah was working full-time.”

“Aw, Em,” Jenna said, “your time will come.”

“But it won’t be here, will it?” Emily said bitterly. “I won’t have the same fun you guys had. Besides, my

opportunity for those antics has come and gone. I am nearly twenty-one, you know.”

“Maybe you’ll have better opportunities, Em.”

“I wouldn’t count on it.”

Emily sat back and put her hands behind her head as she looked up at the barn swallows that flew over

their heads. A devilish smile crossed her lips as she thought of something. “I remember the first time Trey

and Bryce came to the farm. Do you remember that? They were so out of their element. Remember, Jen,

how Bryce slipped in that pile of cow manure? That was priceless. Even Dad laughed.”

Jenna smiled at the memory. “What about when Trey and Bryce were helping us milk the cows, and they

started the milk fight. What a mess. Dad was so pissed that they’d used the cows that way.”

Sarah laughed. “I thought Dad was going to murder both of them. It was sweet justice that he made them

muck out the stalls.”

“Jenna?” Jenna stiffened as she heard Bryce’s voice from the barn door. “Are you up there?”

“Tell him I’m not,” she whispered to her sisters.

“She’s not up here, Bryce,” Sarah called down.

“Then how come I saw her from the window not more than ten seconds ago?”

Great.

He appeared at the top of the ladder, his hair mussed and his face covered in a sexy five-o’clock

shadow. Wonderful, he would have to be looking utterly sexy and alluring. But then she would have to be

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more than angry to think him less handsome. She’d have to be dead.

“Jenna—” He stopped, swallowed. His gaze was busy roving over her face. Jenna knew how she must

look. With her hair pulled back in a haphazard ponytail and her eyes red rimmed and puffy, she wasn’t

“hot girlfriend” material. But then again, she evidently wasn’t, even on her good days.

Well, best not to think about all that. What was done was done. And frankly, she was tired of crying and

feeling sorry for herself. It was time to accept that Bryce was a jerk, and she’d made a huge mistake by

loving him all these years.

“Can I speak to Jenna alone, please?”

Sarah and Emily all but jumped up and vaporized into thin air. Traitors.

Jenna watched her support scramble down the ladder. When the barn door was pulled shut, Bryce took

a step closer to her.

“We need to talk.”

“No, we don’t.”

“Yeah, we do.”

Jenna put her hands in the pockets of her hoodie so Bryce couldn’t see how they trembled. She didn’t

want him knowing how much he’d broken her. How much her heart ached.

“Jenna. I want to explain—Ineed to explain.”

“What?” she hissed, finally turning to look at him. “What do you need to explain? That you used me for

sex and as a way to kiss up to your viewers? No, you don’t have to. The e-mail was explicit enough, but

the photos . . . well, they’re worth a thousand words, aren’t they? I can’t believe you and Trey set me up

like that. And I fell for it. How you must have laughed at how easily I fell for your lines. And saying you

love me? Yeah, right. That was a low blow, Bryce.”

He knelt beside her and tried to reach for her, but Jenna stiffened. She obviously didn’t want his hands

on her.

She stood up and brushed the stray bits of hay from her rear end as she glared down at him, showing him

all the pain and hurt she’d tried so hard to hide. She pushed past him. He stood and reached for her. She

neatly avoided him.

“I didn’t ask to be photographed with you. Trey thought it would help with my rep, but he never told me.

I only realized it when I saw the photographer that day in the market.”

“And that’s why you said you were ready for a commitment, because you knew your every word was

being recorded. You saw a perfect way to be seen as something other than a playboy.”

“Damn it! All I saw was you!” He touched her hair, ran his fingers through her ponytail. “I said what was

in my heart, Jenna. I meant every word. When I realized we were being watched, I pulled you away.

That’s why I took you from the market. I didn’t want you to know about the photographer because I

was afraid this would happen—that you would think I’d set it up. I also didn’t want what we had going

on between us to be ruined by a flash of a camera. You took my heart that day, Jenna. When I looked at

you in the market, I knew there would never be another woman for me.”

“How do I believe you when you’re such a convincing liar?”

“Jesus Christ, will you stop and listen to what I’m saying! I love you, and you love me, damn it!”

She turned and looked at him. “Maybe. But that doesn’t mean I’ll ever be able to trust you. And what is

love without trust? Nothing.”

Bryce watched Jenna run across the grass that lay between the house and the barn. Her hair was slipped

from her ponytail elastic, spilling across her shoulders. His fingers ached to run through the soft silkiness.

He wanted to bring the thick locks to his face and smell her. To tilt her face up to his and kiss her swollen

eyelids.

Goddamn it. How could he have made such a mess of this? Because he hadn’t been thinking, he

reminded himself. Ever since Jenna had come into his life he’d done nothing but eat, breathe and live for

Jenna. He’d even neglected his restaurant for the first time ever, and all so he could spend every minute

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with the woman he loved.

She had to love him. He’d seen that love. He’d felt her love sneak into his soul and fill him with warmth

and peace. And he wanted it back. Whatever it took, however long it took, he’d get it back.

“Hey, thought I might find you up here.”

Bryce turned to find Trey standing behind him. “I was told that these were the cure for all heartache.”

Trey handed him a sandwich bag filled with cookies. “Macadamia nut.”

Bryce gazed back at the house and Jenna’s bedroom window. A light went on, and he imagined her

undressing and slipping beneath the sheets, which had been hung that afternoon on the line to dry. They

would be cool and crisp and smell like sunshine. And he wanted more than anything to be in them with

her.

He looked down at the cookies in his hand. “Do they work?”

“I don’t know, little brother. Depends on how bad the ache is.”

“Pretty fucking bad.”

Trey put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “She’ll come around. Let her sleep on it.”

“And if she awakens in the morning hating me even more?”

“I don’t think she will. Someone told me that she was up here rehashing old times. She wasn’t cursing

you, Bryce. She was laughing, and her eyes, I’m told, were full of love.”

“Just love?”

Trey shrugged and put his hands in his pockets. “Well, hurt, too, but that’s to be expected.”

“You think I can save my relationship with Jenna, Trey?” Jesus, he sounded desperate—and scared, too.

“Yeah, I think you can.”

“I hope you’re right, because if I don’t have Jenna in my life . . . I don’t know how I’m going to deal with

that. My chest is aching like a bitch.”

“Why not tell her you’ve bought the farm? Maybe that will convince her you love her.”

“No. She’d only assume that I was telling her as a way to make her soften to me. No. I can’t tell her until

she believes I want a future with her.”

“You have a point. It could be construed as manipulation. I guess I didn’t see it from where Jenna

stands.”

“Trust me, Jenna is suspicious of every move I make. I don’t think there’s a word that’s come out of my

mouth that she hasn’t picked apart and analyzed.”

“Still, though, I don’t think it’s going to take Jenna long to figure things out. She’ll come around. I know

it.”

“I hope you’re right, because every minute that passes with her not talking to me is torture.”

Trey looked around the hayloft, then back at him. “You don’t have any plans to demolish this barn, do

you?”

“No. Why do you ask?”

“Believe it or not, I have some good memories of this place,” Trey said, his voice suddenly growing quiet.

“Somereally good memories—probably the only ones I’ve ever had.”

“Me, too. I fell in love up here.”

Trey’s gaze dropped to Bryce’s face. “Chin up, buddy. She’ll figure it out. If you need me, you know

where to find me.”

“Trey.”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks, man. For everything. I know you were the one to get Dad to change his mind.”

“It’s nothing. Just don’t fuck it all up by losing the girl.”

“Trey?” Bryce said again. His brother stopped his descent down the ladder and looked up at him

expectantly. “You gonna stay in Lucan for a while? You know, till I get this place up and running.”

“I don’t know. There’s nothing here for me but bad blood.”

“I understand. I’ll leave it up to you. But I want you to know you have a place with me.”

Trey didn’t answer; he just climbed down the ladder. Before he climbed down himself, Bryce stole one

last look at the empty hayloft. He could still see Jenna sitting there, her knees up to her chest, her ponytail

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slowly sliding out of its holder. She’d never looked more desirable to him, even with her tearstained

cheeks and puffy eyes. His heart bled with every beat knowing he’d been the cause of those tears.

He just wished he knew what to do. Where to start.

He turned to the only place that could give him solace.

The kitchen.

It was well past midnight when Jenna tiptoed into the kitchen. She’d waited until the house quieted down

and she was certain everyone was asleep. She couldn’t wait any longer for a drink of milk and another

handful of Sarah’s cookies.

If there were even any left. She’d seen Trey with a plate of them as he’d disappeared into his room. With

a frown, she contemplated the prospect of being heartbroken without anything sweet and fattening to